Can I turn this situation around? Several months ago now while serving breakfasts at work I asked one group of 4 (2 men and 2 women) whether they were having coffee or tea. As I always call people honey I would have asked each person in turn "Would you like tea or coffee honey?". I then proceeded to put my hand on the arm of one of these men and said "Ok your breakfast will be here shortly" Nothing sexual whatsoever about the topic/conversation. Instantly they turned and said that I was sexually harrassing that man by calling him honey and touching him on his upper arm. They were totally serious. Had I not been so shocked and in front of a dining room full of other guests I would have told them to "F... off". These people were all in their 60's. Old enough to know better. As it was I point blank refused to have any dealing with them for the rest of their stay. Several people who were in the dining room at the time said how disgusted they all were with these people and that they liked the friendliness of the staff.
That situation doesn't sound like harassment at all. I've never had a problem with a man or women putting their arm on my shoulder. :eek: It's a bit different to following someone down the street.
Can I turn this situation around? Several months ago now while serving breakfasts at work I asked one group of 4 (2 men and 2 women) whether they were having coffee or tea. As I always call people honey I would have asked each person in turn "Would you like tea or coffee honey?". I then proceeded to put my hand on the arm of one of these men and said "Ok your breakfast will be here shortly" Nothing sexual whatsoever about the topic/conversation. Instantly they turned and said that I was sexually harrassing that man by calling him honey and touching him on his upper arm. They were totally serious. Had I not been so shocked and in front of a dining room full of other guests I would have told them to "F... off". These people were all in their 60's. Old enough to know better. As it was I point blank refused to have any dealing with them for the rest of their stay. Several people who were in the dining room at the time said how disgusted they all were with these people and that they liked the friendliness of the staff.
Best will in the world that's not turning the situation around, it's recounting a story about a totally separate situation. The people you had to deal with sound like idiots (real idiots), but that has nothing to show us about the OP's situation. She hasn't complained about a server doing their job, but about a random stranger not taking no for an answer.
Best will in the world that's not turning the situation around, it's recounting a story about a totally separate situation. The people you had to deal with sound like idiots (real idiots), but that has nothing to show us about the OP's situation. She hasn't complained about a server doing their job, but about a random stranger not taking no for an answer.
I meant turning it around as in a man accusing a woman of sexual harrassment rather than a female accusing a man......
And even those who are covered from head to foot experience it. It's not about what you look like really - or how you're dressed, it's a matter of daring to present as female in an extremely patriarchal society. We're not people, we're fun to look at and interrupt at the whim of men.
Exactly!
I was harassed a few weeks ago when I was going to the corner shop in a hoodie and sweatpants and full of cold.
This is why it's so offensive to me. I'm minding my own business, I do not need someone to comment on me, no matter how 'positive' it is.
I meant turning it around as in a man accusing a woman of sexual harrassment rather than a female accusing a man......
Ahh, I see, well if it had been a woman objecting to a male server in that situation, I would still have found it to be an idiotic over reaction tbf.
There are genuine cases where men have been victims of sexual harassment, however the ground rules for that to be the case are slightly different imo since in the majority of cases a male has a physical advantage over a female and therefore doesn't have to fear an escalation of a sexual advance that has been rejected turning into a physical or sexual assault. In examples where the woman is in a position of power over the guy, ie is his boss, or client etc then I have every sympathy, also tbf in situations where the woman has then gone on to humiliate the chap publicly, these behaviours are unacceptable.
However, the fact that female sexual harassment of men happens, doesn't in anyway diminish the issue of sexual harassment of women by men, which is far more commonplace and for many reasonably attractive young woman can be a genuinely everyday occurrence.
WTF has this world come to? Someone asks for your phone number and that is sexual harassment? :rolleyes:
How on earth did you meet your current attachment? Did you first correspond for 10 years from separate concrete cells wrapped in bubble wrap?
It's a wonder anyone has a relationship nowadays with all this utterly stupid and damaging false accusation and attention seeking.
It is very unusual for a total stranger to approach you in the street and ask for contact like that.
False accusation ? Are you saying the OP invented this story to get attention?
You'd think in the current climate that people would be a little more attentive to situations that alarm young women instaed of exercising a cheap wit.
To the OP - your starnger was probably just a weird chancer but if he approaches again or seems to be following you, give his description to the police.
I was on my way to college and leaving the station A man approached me giving leaflets out (he is there every wednesday) I said no thanks he then followed me down the street saying " can i have your number ?" i said i am taken and he asked me to go for lunch " i ignored him i was trying to cross the road i stood there and he turned and went back up the street i thought he was going to follow me all the way to college ! It was scary its not like it was a one of i have to see this man every Wednesday.
I am hoping he will leave me alone but what if he doesn't !
I often have women staring at me on the street and it does feel like I'm being visually raped sometimes. I have gone up to some in the past when I've been feeling especially vulnerable and queried whether they think it's appropriate to stare at men and objectify us in this way.
When I was in my 20s I was on holiday with my husband and another couple. We were walking through Ibiza town when this guy suddenly stopped straight in front of me and started to chat me up. My husband was amazed and told him that I was his wife and to go away. I think he must have been either drunk or on drugs
When I was in my 20s I was on holiday with my husband and another couple. We were walking through Ibiza town when this guy suddenly stopped straight in front of me and started to chat me up. My husband was amazed and told him that I was his wife and to go away. I think he must have been either drunk or on drugs
Yes, your husband must have been on something.
Lost his chance to get rid of you there.:rolleyes:
He thought you were beautiful and followed you to ask for your number? You said no. End of story.
Get over yourself girl.
I would have answered in much the same way, before I actually thought about it, because it's not some thing I have ever thought about before.
But what right does anyone have to pass comment on another person, they don't know, as they walk past?Why do those making the comments believe that their judgement on another person, is ok to be voiced to them?
I dare say a defense would be' it's was a compliment, she should be pleased' - and that's total rubbish, it's said to women on the street because men seem to assume that their opinion of any woman,is some how a valuable contribution to the well being of womankind.
So basically blokes doing this are just jumped up tossers, at best.
He has done it three times now but this time it worse I think he must do it to others do i am thinking of doing an anonymous tip off but he did leave me after a while so i am not to sure.
Report him asap. That is not acceptable.
I had something like this happen to me around the same age as you. Some men sorted him for me......
Comments
That situation doesn't sound like harassment at all. I've never had a problem with a man or women putting their arm on my shoulder. :eek: It's a bit different to following someone down the street.
Best will in the world that's not turning the situation around, it's recounting a story about a totally separate situation. The people you had to deal with sound like idiots (real idiots), but that has nothing to show us about the OP's situation. She hasn't complained about a server doing their job, but about a random stranger not taking no for an answer.
I meant turning it around as in a man accusing a woman of sexual harrassment rather than a female accusing a man......
Exactly!
I was harassed a few weeks ago when I was going to the corner shop in a hoodie and sweatpants and full of cold.
This is why it's so offensive to me. I'm minding my own business, I do not need someone to comment on me, no matter how 'positive' it is.
Ahh, I see, well if it had been a woman objecting to a male server in that situation, I would still have found it to be an idiotic over reaction tbf.
There are genuine cases where men have been victims of sexual harassment, however the ground rules for that to be the case are slightly different imo since in the majority of cases a male has a physical advantage over a female and therefore doesn't have to fear an escalation of a sexual advance that has been rejected turning into a physical or sexual assault. In examples where the woman is in a position of power over the guy, ie is his boss, or client etc then I have every sympathy, also tbf in situations where the woman has then gone on to humiliate the chap publicly, these behaviours are unacceptable.
However, the fact that female sexual harassment of men happens, doesn't in anyway diminish the issue of sexual harassment of women by men, which is far more commonplace and for many reasonably attractive young woman can be a genuinely everyday occurrence.
It is very unusual for a total stranger to approach you in the street and ask for contact like that.
False accusation ? Are you saying the OP invented this story to get attention?
You'd think in the current climate that people would be a little more attentive to situations that alarm young women instaed of exercising a cheap wit.
To the OP - your starnger was probably just a weird chancer but if he approaches again or seems to be following you, give his description to the police.
He thought you were beautiful and followed you to ask for your number? You said no. End of story.
Get over yourself girl.
You're at college? :eek:
Hairdressing right?
you wish
Lost his chance to get rid of you there.:rolleyes:
I'm sorry to hear that, is your husband clean now?
Thanks guys that has just made me smile and brightened up a boring dreary Sunday.
What I just posted was true ... I never realised I was pretty in those days
Wrong doing English A level and I have a job to.Their is nothing wrong with doing hairdressing anyway decent money and no uni debts
But what right does anyone have to pass comment on another person, they don't know, as they walk past?Why do those making the comments believe that their judgement on another person, is ok to be voiced to them?
I dare say a defense would be' it's was a compliment, she should be pleased' - and that's total rubbish, it's said to women on the street because men seem to assume that their opinion of any woman,is some how a valuable contribution to the well being of womankind.
So basically blokes doing this are just jumped up tossers, at best.
Report him asap. That is not acceptable.
I had something like this happen to me around the same age as you. Some men sorted him for me......