Kissing
I want to ask your opinions on kissing - specifically 'French kissing' I suppose, where tongues are involved! 
Does anyone here never French kiss with their partner? Is it common to avoid it completely? Is it common to dislike it?
I'm asking because the guy I'm seeing at the moment (and have been for about a month) never does anything but kiss me on the lips normally. So just continual pecks. Even in more sensual/sexual situations, he just kisses me on the lips. Never even a hint of tongue or any opening of the mouth. Whilst this is perfectly normal behaviour in most situations (I wouldn't be ramming my tongue down his throat on the street), I have to admit that I enjoy it as part of a more passionate or sexual moment. I've never met anyone who doesn't like/engage with it in a sexual setting. I've had sex quite a bit with this guy and I've tried initiating it but he doesn't really respond - just keeps his lips closed. All other aspects of sex/foreplay are quite usual.
I can assure you I don't have bad oral hygiene or anything! I just wonder whether I'm weird for assuming it's the norm
I love kissing him in the 'normal' way still but I really miss the passionate kisses I've always enjoyed with previous partners.
Does anyone here never French kiss with their partner? Is it common to avoid it completely? Is it common to dislike it?
I'm asking because the guy I'm seeing at the moment (and have been for about a month) never does anything but kiss me on the lips normally. So just continual pecks. Even in more sensual/sexual situations, he just kisses me on the lips. Never even a hint of tongue or any opening of the mouth. Whilst this is perfectly normal behaviour in most situations (I wouldn't be ramming my tongue down his throat on the street), I have to admit that I enjoy it as part of a more passionate or sexual moment. I've never met anyone who doesn't like/engage with it in a sexual setting. I've had sex quite a bit with this guy and I've tried initiating it but he doesn't really respond - just keeps his lips closed. All other aspects of sex/foreplay are quite usual.
I can assure you I don't have bad oral hygiene or anything! I just wonder whether I'm weird for assuming it's the norm
I love kissing him in the 'normal' way still but I really miss the passionate kisses I've always enjoyed with previous partners. 0
Comments
I was going to ask him about it possibly but wanted to check first in case I had been under the wrong impression as to how usual it was. I'm not really sure how I would ask, I guess it would be an observational type thing.
So I take it from those who have replied so far that it is pretty usual to engage in some level of tongue-type kissing in more passionate moments? If so how do you think I should ask him about this (if I should)? I feel a bit idiotic bringing it up as if it's a huge issue! But I do miss it in the throes of passion.
lolz...I love the idea of you licking his face
[Not that it's a bad thing!]
Emmm.....well you're obviously intimate. Maybe take it slow, but hold his jaw and kiss the bastard. Don't be all frothy and lively - maybe he's had a bad experience - but be firm. If it's slow it gives him a chance to go, "Wooah".....and then go, "Hmmm...you know what...I kinda like this.."
Firm but draw him into you. If that doesn't work he probably has Oral Ebola as is just being polite
Maybe just say, "shall we use tongues?" in the middle of a kiss and see his reaction.
Just ask him if it's something he dislikes. If it is then I don't think you'll get him to change his mind and trying to get him to do so could lead to the eventual demise of the relationship.
For me kissing is a way of showing my feelings.
I peck for light kisses, then when things progress it becomes a full on snog.
Ok I have not had that many men, but every man I have kissed has been like this. Never kissed a female so can't use that.
I used tongues with my ex husband, but my soon to be husband and I don't use tongues - it just feel wrong.
I think you need to ask him, maybe he has a phobia of it and is too embarrassed. It could be why he is still single at 28, his exes may have used it as a breaking up thing.
I couldn't be with someone and not be able to kiss them properly, how can you show them your feelings? A kiss is hard to a good way of showing a person how you feel towards them.
Well as stupid as I feel for asking about it, I'm afraid it is a serious question. If I was going to make something up I'd make it far more hilarious.
So there are at least two people who don't. Did you ask your husband about it, horwichallstars? Presumably he just said he doesn't enjoy it?
I wouldn't end a relationship over it, after all people have all sorts of things they like or dislike... but as I've said several times now, I do miss it and I think/thought it was quite a common thing... whereas some things people dislike (for example some kind of fetish) are unusual to 'expect' so easier to do without, so to speak.
I'm confused about your post. You say you can't be intimate without a full on snog, but then that you don't use tongues with your soon-to-be husband. I feel really stupid asking this, but what does a full on snog consist of without any use of the tongue at all?
We do kiss, as I've said, but it's just puckering up and kissing continuously as if you would but without opening your mouth at all (apart from a little bit when each kiss ends - I've just actually been kissing my hand to work out how the lips move - the technicalities of kissing have never really entered my head before!). Does that make sense? Would you class that as snogging? He does enjoy it, and he's very affectionate in other ways. Out of all the guys I've been with sexually (8 or 9) they've all kissed me using tongues at some point, usually leading up to sex or at a passionate moment or something.
Well I'm still single at the same age and it's not because of my technique in the bedroom, so I don't think he's single because of it at all, he's a lovely guy.
Also thanks Shappy, I haven't been able to quote you for some reason (stupid technology).
I just feel a bit stupid asking him about it - perhaps if I do it whilst we are being affectionate it might be easier (definitely not over dinner
I don't see the problem talking about it over dinner! Just be frank. I wouldn't ask whilst in the act!
Both of thoughts crossed my mind.
It could be lots of things, couldn't it?
- he simply might not like/enjoy it
- he might be worried about his own bad breath or similar
- he might have a general hygiene 'issue' and just not fancy sharing saliva
I wondered if he had similar reservations about other issues of hygiene or.... erm... using his tongue elsewhere
Would he drink from the same glass as you? Is he an obsessive cleaner? Etc etc
But ultimately you'll never know unless you ask him!
This is what I was thinking.
Or it could be he doesn't like it?
The only way you'll know for sure is if you talk about it.
He's not weird about hygiene or cleaning or anything like that. And I don't think he's paranoid about having bad breath - I am paranoid about this myself but I can tell he's not bothered (e.g. he has forgotten his toothbrush twice when staying over at mine and it didn't bother him one iota, and he isn't bothered about morning breath - obviously we don't 'snog' as I know it but he's not shy about rolling on to me at 8am and breathing all over me etc!).
So I think it's likely that he just doesn't like it, as a couple of other posters here have said they don't. But yes, I'll have to speak to him - perhaps when I see him tomorrow.
I miss a good snog.