Liz Jones - YOU magazine (Part 4)

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  • BellaFigaBellaFiga Posts: 1,982
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    I really don't think I'll bother looking for the anorexia programme. I can predict right now what she'll say:

    a) CUT MY BREASTS OFF
    b) Vogue made me do it all, all of it, it was Vogue the bastards.
    c) I only eat one apple every three weeks, unless I go out to a restaurant where I can't hear and they make me eat food because don't they know who I am?
  • dummy_mummydummy_mummy Posts: 133
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    Is there a farticle this week or is it just the dreary? Have looked but couldn't find anything - maybe because she's away on holiday (or work, as she likes to call it,)... ;-)
  • Rubbish NameRubbish Name Posts: 619
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    Just the Groundhog Diary I think. Let's count our blessings.
  • amikolaichekamikolaichek Posts: 531
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    Dunno, I feel sort of … cheated. She didn’t mention ‘falling asleep at the wheel three times’. Oh – just remembered, she doesn’t have a car at the moment. But she did rehash the phrase that ‘people who kill others on the road get out of jail after a couple of years’ to contrast with the terrible suffering she’s going through now.

    But doesn’t she borrow Nic’s car? Ah – we haven’t heard much about the sainted Nic recently. Could it be that she’s included in ‘…even the people I employ to help me ignore me’, along with her new accountant and the debt advisor?

    So, what's new? As always, it’s poor poor Liz - TOO generous, TOO trusting. And not reading contracts. WHAT? Doesn’t read contracts? Give me strength. She’s paid stupendously large amounts of money to write what she does. But doesn’t read her contracts? Really? She has, or maybe had, an agent. And even if she didn’t have an agent, then it’s not rocket science to READ and UNDERSTAND a contract. And should there be parts she doesn't understand? Then she asks someone (lawyer, accountant) to go through it with her.

    Do you know, part of me hopes that this whole ‘Diary’ IS a work of fiction … because otherwise, how could any supposedly talented and successful woman be so bloody stupid?
  • seventhwaveseventhwave Posts: 4,967
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    "I'm a single woman on my own with a good job!" You are/were in a relationship with The Baker, if you're still having sex and making plans to live together ... Or are you pre-emptively calling yourself single based on the assumption he will dump you after reading this column (which if he hasn't done by now he probably never will?)
  • Jennifer_Jones2Jennifer_Jones2 Posts: 202
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    Surely you read contracts even if you do have an agent? After all, they are not all squeaky clean saints!

    She's a single woman, yes, but she's not in a job as such is she? Wouldn't she be on some sort of freelance contract?

    I simply find I have lost nearly all interest in her. Her writing is awful and disjointed, David is a boring prat who would find it impossible to live in very close proximity with her for long. She seems not to care what happens with her sister, although she is directly responsible if she has caused her sister to be homeless. She's supposed to be made bankrupt very shortly, she thinks, but nothing about the future of all the animals. I mean, really she's has long enough to sort all this out - that's what makes the whole thing unrealistic and her seem stupid!
  • SquatchSquatch Posts: 781
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    And the fact that she's constantly writing about her problems shows that she's aware of them.

    Everything she writes is fiction, and she's trying to portrays herself as some ditsy airhead who is so obsessed with fashion and herself that her brain has no room for anything else.
  • IFonly58IFonly58 Posts: 408
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    According to the MOS, "Liz Jones is on holiday...". But Liz says she NEVER has a holiday !!. Maybe all those other trips/ mini-breaks/ honeymoons/spa cleansings etc. were all just work.
    Hopefully, she will sort her life out and leave us in peace, although I feel that the full range of her self-pity will be on display in the next few weeks once she has to downsize into some grotty rental place. You know, the sort of place that NORMAL people live in.
    No mention of people being "open mouthed" this week, but she does seem to have developed a bit of monomania over the driver who killed someone and spent a couple of years in jail. Is she seriously suggesting that person has a better life than her?
  • lomo123lomo123 Posts: 521
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    Her house has been removed from the market. Wonder if it's been sold or is going to auction.
  • amikolaichekamikolaichek Posts: 531
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    IFonly58 wrote: »
    According to the MOS, "Liz Jones is on holiday...". But Liz says she NEVER has a holiday !!. Maybe all those other trips/ mini-breaks/ honeymoons/spa cleansings etc. were all just work.
    Hopefully, she will sort her life out and leave us in peace, although I feel that the full range of her self-pity will be on display in the next few weeks once she has to downsize into some grotty rental place. You know, the sort of place that NORMAL people live in.
    No mention of people being "open mouthed" this week, but she does seem to have developed a bit of monomania over the driver who killed someone and spent a couple of years in jail. Is she seriously suggesting that person has a better life than her?

    Well, of course, in the weird world of Jones, a driver who kills someone through dangerous driving will be much better off in jail than poor victimised Jones. Three square meals a day (I understand that vegetarian/vegan options available) though I don't think that 'nice food' such as champagne and Pellegrino are served. Or cashew nuts. On the other hand, probably plenty of (hopefully not boiled to sludge) cabbage. And lots of servings of porridge.
  • fizzycatfizzycat Posts: 6,120
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    lomo123 wrote: »
    Her house has been removed from the market. Wonder if it's been sold or is going to auction.

    Very odd because the RIghtmove page usually changes to a 'sold STC' paled-out page from an offer being made to the sale completing. So it doesn't look like it's sold - even a cash sale takes a few days and I can't see many people having the price of that one sitting around.

    It's possible that it's been forced into auction. It was already on offer at far less than she bought it for and it's not likely to exceed the asking price at auction.
  • lomo123lomo123 Posts: 521
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    Fizzycat, yeah your right, not many folk got that money readily to hand.
    It's a lot of money for a house that looks like it needs work doing to it. One if the main rooms looks like the wallpapers been scraped off at the corner.
    Don't much about how it works, but if sold at an auction does the money just go to cover debts?.
  • fizzycatfizzycat Posts: 6,120
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    My only experience of auctioned properties is when they've been reposessed and the money raised goes to the mortgage lender. If there's anything left once the outstanding mortgage has been paid off, the balance goes to the vendor but I'm not sure who would take priority on the list if there are other debts, like HMRC. I Dread to think how much she still owes of the purchase price and houses sold at auction don't often reach their market value, not round here anyway.

    I'm sure someone with more in-depth knowledge will be along soon!

    The house will need extensive work on it - the asking price was over £1/4million less than the price when she bought it and she's had the kitchen removed. A couple of weeks ago she was on about selling the central heating boiler so that will mean more knocked off the value of the property now.
  • amikolaichekamikolaichek Posts: 531
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    I think HMRC takes precedence over banks, mortgage providers, other creditors when it comes to division of the spoils. I reckon the property is now up for auction.
  • MrsManiacMrsManiac Posts: 41
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    LJ is a vegan, Jain, anorexic, profoundly deaf, alcoholic, peri-pensioner who used to live in London but after her divorce moved to a large house in Exmoor to live out her rural dream with a number of animals she rescued but couldn't afford to look after nor did she have the time to do so whilst working 23 hours a day and buying diptyque candles. She couldn't afford to pay for the work carried out on her house and complained about the distance she had to travel for work and the fact the local shops didn't stock illy coffee. She alienated the local by complaining that their rural lifestyle was wrong because it didn't match up with her idyll and compounded it by writing about them in her weekly column. Due to not paying fripperies such as her tax bill she was then forced to sell the house for less than she paid for it and move somewhere more within her means whilst being declared bankrupt in three days - so she chose to move to a large house in rural North Yorkshire.

    Where she moved to live out her rural dreams it ha number of animals she rescued but couldn't afford to look after nor did she have the time to do so whilst working 23 hours a day and buying diptyque candles. She couldn't afford to pay for the work carried out on her house and complained about the distance she had to travel for work and the fact the local shops didn't stock illy coffee. She alienated the locals by complaining that their rural lifestyle was wrong because it didn't match up to her idyll and compounded it by writing about them in her weekly column. Due to not paying fripperies such as her tax bill she has now been forced to sell her house for less than she paid for it and move somewhere more within her means whilst being declared bankrupt in three days...

    Along the way she has had 'relationships' with an imaginary rock star and a retired baker who she had admired from afar for many years neither of which have lived up to her expectations of a fairytale romance and have been mostly carried out by email and text. She has also written a screenplay which has been delivered to a famous movie star and is being produced and directed by two of the friends she doesn't have.

    But none of the things that have befallen her are her fault because she is a kind and generous person who has never killed anyone on the road even though so many people stop and stare at her open mouthed...
  • Paula PanzerPaula Panzer Posts: 297
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    MrsManiac

    In a nutshell: yes.
  • Jennifer_Jones2Jennifer_Jones2 Posts: 202
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    And beautifully put.

    You have missed out that she seems to have fallen out with all her surviving family apart from the sister who was also moving to the property in Devon and put money into that property, which resulted in a court case with her sister, who she then had to buy a property for. That property was evidently bought on another mortgage as it too has been claimed by the bailiff, so her sister will also be homeless. Don't know how high up the list of creditors her sister would come, as her house was bought by order of the Court.

    I wonder if she is on holiday, or if she has taken a couple of weeks off to sort out her animals and find somewhere else to live? Perhaps that what she calls a holiday?

    There are a couple of videos to her on You Tube after her article in the Wail about how she's glad she's got an eating disorder!
  • amikolaichekamikolaichek Posts: 531
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    MrsManiac, spot on!
  • amikolaichekamikolaichek Posts: 531
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    By the way, one of Jones's frequent 'product placement' mentions are 'Diptyque' candles.

    My dears - take it from a resident of the posh part of Islington - not far from the house that Jones regularly laments selling (but being a sensible old bat , I didn't sell my house and move to a rural idyll and upset the natives), that the very BEST candles are by 'Rigaud'. Especially the 'Chypre' (cypress) scented one. Dead expensive, but the candles last for ages. I bought mine three years ago and it's still going strong. Mind you, I only light it on Christmas Day, or when I've got a gentleman caller calling. Scent is delicious and it nicely hides the aroma of yesterday's fish pie (Waitrose, of course).
  • BellaFigaBellaFiga Posts: 1,982
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    I get rid of the smell of yesterday's fish pie by having a shower.
  • amikolaichekamikolaichek Posts: 531
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    BellaFiga wrote: »
    I get rid of the smell of yesterday's fish pie by having a shower.

    :D:D:D
    By the way, that reminds me ... about - how shall I put this delicately - 'bathroom smells'. Let's face it, we all make them. Forget those pungent air fresheners - all you need to do is light a match (or two) in the room after you've done your business, hold it for a few seconds until it burns down and hey presto, the reek disappears.

    I always carry a box of matches in my £46,000 Hermes bag ... OK, M & S bag.
  • MrsManiacMrsManiac Posts: 41
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    But where, oh where would you find Rigaud candles never mind a Waitrose to buy a vegan fish pie in the darkest depths of North Yorkshire? I mean life is hard enough here in the Howardian Hills!
  • amikolaichekamikolaichek Posts: 531
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    MrsManiac wrote: »
    But where, oh where would you find Rigaud candles never mind a Waitrose to buy a vegan fish pie in the darkest depths of North Yorkshire? I mean life is hard enough here in the Howardian Hills!

    Far be it for me to name-drop, but my one and only Rigaud candle (chypre/cypress) came from here:
    http://www.roullierwhite.com/

    Apparently it was Jackie Kennedy Onassis's favourite scent and she had them all over the White House when she was First Lady. But then she could afford them. I treated myself to the Rigaud candle after a modest Premium Bond win (two lots of twenty-five quid in the same month). Just about covered cost of candle plus postage. I know, I know - extravagant. But at least I enjoy it - doesn't Jones claim that she never even LIGHTS her Diptyque candles to 'save money''? I wonder if HMRC have confiscated them to auction off against her debts? Along with her plates? And house?
  • MrsManiacMrsManiac Posts: 41
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    Far be it for me to name-drop, but my one and only Rigaud candle (chypre/cypress) came from here:
    http://www.roullierwhite.com/

    Apparently it was Jackie Kennedy Onassis's favourite scent and she had them all over the White House when she was First Lady. But then she could afford them. I treated myself to the Rigaud candle after a modest Premium Bond win (two lots of twenty-five quid in the same month). Just about covered cost of candle plus postage. I know, I know - extravagant. But at least I enjoy it

    Ooooh but it does look stylish and if you enjoy it it is worth the extravagance, I have never seem the point in having things just for the sake of it (and I'm sure your gentlemen callers will appreciate it too 😉)
  • amikolaichekamikolaichek Posts: 531
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    MrsManiac wrote: »
    Ooooh but it does look stylish and if you enjoy it it is worth the extravagance, I have never seem the point in having things just for the sake of it (and I'm sure your gentlemen callers will appreciate it too 😉)

    If you decide to indulge yourself and buy one, order the refill - just the same as the more expensive one - it's in the glass container, but only difference is, it doesn't have the silver lid.
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