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Engagement present etiquette

rehab_101rehab_101 Posts: 874
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in Advice #1
So I've been invited to one of my best friends sisters engagement party. I've only met the sister twice very briefly and never the fiancé.

What is the protocol for engagement presents? I've only ever been to one other engagement party and they just asked for Argos vouchers as they were setting up home together and knew the wedding would be a long way off.

Is just a card to impersonal? I am also invited to the wedding which is happening next Spring and will be getting them a present then.

I don't know if it makes any difference but it is a big traditional Indian affair.

Comments

  • chenkschenks Posts: 13,231
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    #2
    why should a present be given at all?
    a simple "congratulations" is sufficient.
  • elliecatelliecat Posts: 9,890
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    #3
    Why have you been invited to the party of someone you have only ever met twice and that was briefly? Also the wedding? It seems strange to me and almost like they have just invited loads of people because they want presents.
  • rehab_101rehab_101 Posts: 874
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    #4
    It was more because of my best friend, she was very much in charge of the engagement party, so decided to have a table for her friends, everyone else in our group has met the sister much more than me. I think it would have just been strange for her to invite everyone and not me.

    A congrats sounds good to me though!
  • soulboy77soulboy77 Posts: 24,469
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    #5
    Is an engagement party a normal thing these days? Just thinking that none of my friends or family had one and that's going back thrity years. I guess it might be the done thing within certain cultures though.

    I personally would be reticent to attend someone elses family occasion if I didn't really know the person but if i did go I would probably just buy a small gift.
  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] Posts: 625
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    #6
    IF I got anything at all it would either be vouchers or one of those novelty gifts you find in a card shop.

    I would most likely just get them a card though.
  • rehab_101rehab_101 Posts: 874
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    #7
    Thanks all, as I said, I've only ever been to one engagement party before so wasn't quite sure what the norm is.

    Think i'll stick to a card and a congratulations!
  • Bex_123Bex_123 Posts: 10,783
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    #8
    I have only ever bought a card for people's engagements
  • RandomSallyRandomSally Posts: 7,071
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    #9
    soulboy77 wrote: »
    Is an engagement party a normal thing these days? Just thinking that none of my friends or family had one and that's going back thrity years. I guess it might be the done thing within certain cultures though.

    I personally would be reticent to attend someone elses family occasion if I didn't really know the person but if i did go I would probably just buy a small gift.

    We had an engagement party and that was about 30 years ago. Been to lots over the years as well. I don't think what culture you come from has much to do with it.
  • NormandieNormandie Posts: 4,617
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    #10
    soulboy77 wrote: »
    Is an engagement party a normal thing these days? Just thinking that none of my friends or family had one and that's going back thrity years. I guess it might be the done thing within certain cultures though.
    Irrespective of culture, some people like parties - a good enough reason, I think.

    A nice card would be enough, I think - or perhaps a small gift... depending on the style of the people involved, a book on wedding readings and poems? But that may not fit all brides and couples. :D
  • SeasideLadySeasideLady Posts: 20,773
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    #11
    http://weddings.weddingchannel.com/wedding-planning-ideas/wedding-etiquette/qa/should-you-bring-a-gift-to-an-engagement-party.aspx?MsdVisit=1

    A gift isn't necessary or expected.
  • NormandieNormandie Posts: 4,617
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    #12
    SeasideLady wrote: »
    http://weddings.weddingchannel.com/wedding-planning-ideas/wedding-etiquette/qa/should-you-bring-a-gift-to-an-engagement-party.aspx?MsdVisit=1 A gift isn't necessary or expected.
    That's an American site. I've never found the American guides to etiquette particularly insightful unless, of course, the wedding in question is in America or the participants American - and I suspect the OP didn't mean native American in her original post. :D
  • c4rvc4rv Posts: 29,599
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    #13
    I would have thought a card would be sufficient. Are you expecting to be invited to the wedding ?
  • Frankie_LittleFrankie_Little Posts: 9,271
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    #14
    I think a card is fine, especially if you're going to the wedding and will be buying a gift then.
  • rehab_101rehab_101 Posts: 874
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    #15
    c4rv wrote: »
    I would have thought a card would be sufficient. Are you expecting to be invited to the wedding ?

    Yes, I've had a wedding invite already, so it'll be present time then.

    Thanks for the advice all, i'll stick with a nice card for the engagement party.
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