My mum died over 30 years ago . Still miss her very much indeed. Especially on her birthday. Also at Christmas when all the family get together. She missed her grandchildren growing up.
However as I get older I look in the mirror and I see her looking back at me, that's a bit weird but comforting.
The biggest thing society could for adoptees, not just the abused one, is to get rid of the notion that adoptive parents are these magical creatures that 'rescue' kids. They're just regular people who couldn't conceive. Same with foster parents/ children's homes, children aren't always safe there either. And being adopted isn't easy, even if you're not abused.
Adoptees are overrepresented in the mental health system and rehab centres, and are 4 times more likely to commit suicide than non-adoptees. Something needs to change.
I personally believe that a lot of mental illnesses are rooted in abuse. Child abuse is enough to send anyone insane, having to deal with extreme situations at a time when the brain is still developing. Yes, it is very tragic.
This is a bit of a generalisation. I fostered after I had my own children, not because I could not conceive . Many people who foster and adopt take on a child who is .often already very damaged indeed.. I have utmost respect for anyone who opens their door and hearts to these children.
Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't .
I'm going out with my foster daugher for lunch today. She is totally loved by all the family and returns it in buckets full.
Fostering children with problems is one of the most difficult things anyone can do, it's not 9 to 5, it's emotionally exhausting , and it impacts on every member of the family.
This is a bit of a generalisation. I fostered after I had my own children, not because I could not conceive . Many people who foster and adopt take on a child who is .often already very damaged indeed.. I have utmost respect for anyone who opens their door and hearts to these children.
Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't .
I'm going out with my foster daugher for lunch today. She is totally loved by all the family and returns it in buckets full.
Fostering children with problems is one of the most difficult things anyone can do, it's not 9 to 5, it's emotionally exhausting , and it impacts on every member of the family.
I read the "same as foster parents" to mean that people believe they are "magical creatures who rescue children" not that they cant conceive.
Reading some of these posts has really brought a tear to my eye and a lump to my throat. My mum is very ill with a huge range of illnesses, not terminal but life chaging and as I see her deteriorate the thought of losing her comes to mind and I break down and cry, but reading the posts of people who lost their mum is making me realise that instead of stressing and worrying over what's to come, I should make the most of the here and now.
Sorry to everyone who do not have their mums today. I can't imagine my mum not being around but I know it will probably happen unless I go first.
I would like to tell her what she means but I feel uncomfortable even giving her a hug.
Mike, try to overcome being uncomfortable because there will be a day when you know you will no longer be able to.
The cemetery was full of people yesterday laying flowers and having a silent weep. I find it too painful to go on the day and I have my children to consider, they wouldn't want me to show how upset I was.
I was one of those people mike and although my mum knew how much I loved her because I told her, many times , there were still lots of things I wish I could still tell her.
My mother passed in 1995, and I still miss her terribly at times. It doesn't help that she's buried in another town that I can't get to easily. But on Mother's Day, I like to be positive and remember the good times with her. Flowers and chocolate will rot, but memories live on forever.
My mum died in 2008 and I still think of her every day and miss her very much. I have nice thoughts on Mother's Day because it reminds me of when I was little, when I used to make her a card and pick her some daffodils from the garden. It's a perfect Spring day today too, which I remember it being in the past.
its almost 10 years since my mum died, today is mothers day, tomorrow is 2 years since my brother died and tuesday would have been my mum and dads wedding anniversary, i lost my dad 11 years ago..i miss my mum everyday but times like this i miss her more than ever....never put things off until tomorrow, you just dont know how many tomorrows we have left....
Mike, try to overcome being uncomfortable because there will be a day when you know you will no longer be able to.
The cemetery was full of people yesterday laying flowers and having a silent weep. I find it too painful to go on the day and I have my children to consider, they wouldn't want me to show how upset I was.
I was one of those people mike and although my mum knew how much I loved her because I told her, many times , there were still lots of things I wish I could still tell her.
She understands I am a very awkward person so hopefully deep down she realises. Even when buying her a card I try and buy a bland one without words in it that are considered quite deep and meaningful.
You told your mum so I am certain she knew. Are your children young? I am sure they would not have minded.
I tried to link my son's arm while walking through town the other day and he didn't like it. boo hoo! I miss my little boy
He will get over it as he grows up. Mine were the same, now they are as sloppy as anything. Lovely messages from both my sons this morning , I feel very lucky and blessed.:)
She understands I am a very awkward person so hopefully deep down she realises. Even when buying her a card I try and buy a bland one without words in it that are considered quite deep and meaningful.
You told your mum so I am certain she knew. Are your children young? I am sure they would not have minded.
My children are adults but I have young grandchildren. I wouldn't want them to see me upset.
I do hope our mum does realise how you feel.
I watched a programme were the mother was a real snob, didn't believe in hugs and kisses but her daughter longed for a hug, it was really sad.
Hope your mum has a nice day.
The local radio station here is banging on and on about Moithers dayShop are full of Mothers day stuff cant they think of those who have lost their Mothers
A lot of people find it difficult to display affection:) tell her in a card how much she means to you. She probably knows anyway.
I would find that hard as well. As I said in an earlier post, I find it tough buying a card with that sort of stuff already in it. I am sure she knows anyway.
I would find that hard as well. As I said in an earlier post, I find it tough buying a card with that sort of stuff already in it. I am sure she knows anyway.
I'm sure she does:)
One of my sons never sent a card or remembered for years. Made no diffrence to how either of us felt.
The local radio station here is banging on and on about Moithers dayShop are full of Mothers day stuff cant they think of those who have lost their Mothers
Why should we take it away from the people who still have mothers and want to do something for them. I use mothers day as a day for special stuff, having lunch with my own children.
Why should we take it away from the people who still have mothers and want to do something for them. I use mothers day as a day for special stuff, having lunch with my own children.
No one is saying we should take it away, it's just painful for those who's mums/ children / grandma's are not around.
As a mum who stood with my 17 year old grandson in the church yard this morning 5 weeks after the death of his loving mum and my darling daughter, my heart ached for them both, she was 38 and we miss her so much
As a mum who stood with my 17 year old grandson in the church yard this morning 5 weeks after the death of his loving mum and my darling daughter, my heart ached for them both, she was 38 and we miss her so much
That must be indescribably heartbreaking for both you and I cannot imagine your pain. It makes me even more grateful for all my blessing. Thoughts with you and yours.
That must be indescribably heartbreaking for both you and I cannot imagine your pain. It makes me even more grateful for all my blessing. Thoughts with you and yours.
Comments
However as I get older I look in the mirror and I see her looking back at me, that's a bit weird but comforting.
This is a bit of a generalisation. I fostered after I had my own children, not because I could not conceive . Many people who foster and adopt take on a child who is .often already very damaged indeed.. I have utmost respect for anyone who opens their door and hearts to these children.
Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't .
I'm going out with my foster daugher for lunch today. She is totally loved by all the family and returns it in buckets full.
Fostering children with problems is one of the most difficult things anyone can do, it's not 9 to 5, it's emotionally exhausting , and it impacts on every member of the family.
I read the "same as foster parents" to mean that people believe they are "magical creatures who rescue children" not that they cant conceive.
I would like to tell her what she means but I feel uncomfortable even giving her a hug.
Mike, try to overcome being uncomfortable because there will be a day when you know you will no longer be able to.
The cemetery was full of people yesterday laying flowers and having a silent weep. I find it too painful to go on the day and I have my children to consider, they wouldn't want me to show how upset I was.
I was one of those people mike and although my mum knew how much I loved her because I told her, many times , there were still lots of things I wish I could still tell her.
I agree with that because if my son gave me a hug I would think he wanted something from me usually money.
She understands I am a very awkward person so hopefully deep down she realises. Even when buying her a card I try and buy a bland one without words in it that are considered quite deep and meaningful.
You told your mum so I am certain she knew. Are your children young? I am sure they would not have minded.
I don't think she would think that. I don't think she would consider it normal though.
I tried to link my son's arm while walking through town the other day and he didn't like it. boo hoo! I miss my little boy
He will get over it as he grows up. Mine were the same, now they are as sloppy as anything. Lovely messages from both my sons this morning , I feel very lucky and blessed.:)
My children are adults but I have young grandchildren. I wouldn't want them to see me upset.
I do hope our mum does realise how you feel.
I watched a programme were the mother was a real snob, didn't believe in hugs and kisses but her daughter longed for a hug, it was really sad.
Hope your mum has a nice day.
A lot of people find it difficult to display affection:) tell her in a card how much she means to you. She probably knows anyway.
I would find that hard as well. As I said in an earlier post, I find it tough buying a card with that sort of stuff already in it. I am sure she knows anyway.
I'm sure she does:)
One of my sons never sent a card or remembered for years. Made no diffrence to how either of us felt.
Why should we take it away from the people who still have mothers and want to do something for them. I use mothers day as a day for special stuff, having lunch with my own children.
No one is saying we should take it away, it's just painful for those who's mums/ children / grandma's are not around.
That must be indescribably heartbreaking for both you and I cannot imagine your pain. It makes me even more grateful for all my blessing. Thoughts with you and yours.
Thankyou so much