my baby is currently in the chair of neglect as some mums-netters called it, or the jumperoo as i like to call it. I am currently sitting next to him talking to him so he's definitely not neglected!
I too have done what has come naturally, not bf as he has a milk allergy, a little bit of baby wearing and he is 7 months and his cot is tight up against my bed. I don't let him cry it out, but from day one he went into his cot/crib awake and I have to say it has made things a lot easier.
I do wonder how these Mumsnetters can claim to be mother earth when theyre sitting on the internet all day
I think the term "non attachment" to describe any kind of parenting of babies is one of the silliest sounding terms ever invented, its a little bit of an oxymoron, JMO
I think it's awful terminology and suggests something cold and distant. >:(
I think it's awful terminology and suggests something cold and distant. >:(
Agree. Baby is attached physically and emotinally both ways for nine months, to think of severing that link asap instead of continung it is bizarre.
For anyone to even question why a mother would want instant contact with baby after birth to bond or breastfeed or sleep with baby in same room is somehow wrong is wrong in itself IMO
I say down with them all
Do what you want with your baby but dont criticise the most natural thing in the world
I did controlled crying after 7 months of no sleep and only seeing my husband as we swapped baby shifts in the night. It was awful.
3 nights of controlled crying and we had our life back and a much happier baby.
It very much depends on your child. Ours was (and still is) the most strong willed fellow I have ever known. He wanted us by his side but he had to learn that it wasn't possible all the time.
The lesson was a positive one.
We are basically just making it up as we go along and doing what we have to do!
Pretty much what we did as well. I became a stay at home mum when I had my son aged 38, I breastfed him, we did baby led weaning, his cot was in our room until he was a year old, we did babywearing to a lesser extent, we did a more gentler version of "cry it out" which didn't involve leaving the room and which only took two nights for him to realise he was safe in his bedroom and we set boundaries as soon as he began to have enough awareness of "right and wrong".
He's now six and we're constantly getting complements on what a well behaved and well mannered child he is so we must have got something right! He can still be a little devil when the mood takes him but he knows that if we say no, not only do we mean it, but there's a reason for it which will be explained to him.
I've had 5 babies and for years seemed to be pregnant and have at least one on the breast and the rest hanging from me somehow. Multiple bath and bed times, all in together very often. Does that count? JOKING! Our children need as much closeness and love as we can possibly give. I could never leave any child to cry. I also got something from it as I loved it too and they grow up so quickly.
Same here ...........except I only had three. Our children are what we make them ........they need to know that they are loved and cherished IMO.
Isn't it a bit dangerous to sleep in the same bed with your baby because of the risks of rolling over during the night and suffocating them?
Not necessarily. There are a number of common sense guidelines to follow though - baby is over six months old, neither parent smokes, the mattress is firm, there's no pillows, there is no chance of the baby overheating from a duvet, no-one's been drinking, no-one is at a point of exhaustion or is suffering from sleep deprivation or has sleep apnoea etc.
It is the most common way of sleeping in Japan and they have the lowest SIDS rate in the world.
I do wonder how these Mumsnetters can claim to be mother earth when theyre sitting on the internet all day
Well, I guess I could be described as a 'mumsnetter' seeing as I am registered there and read and post there now and again.
Firstly, I would never describe myself as an earth mother.
Secondly, I don't 'sit on the internet all day' either. I just pop on and off, between doing other things.
And just to address another stereotype, I don't 'hate men' either.
I just follow my instincts and do what feels right for me and my kids, no need to put a label on everything... I did breastfeeding, co-sleeping, bathing together and babywearing but it wasn't because I wanted to do attachment parenting, there was a myriad of (largely selfish) reasons for it
Isn't it a bit dangerous to sleep in the same bed with your baby because of the risks of rolling over during the night and suffocating them?
No, the studies show the opposite.
You're only likely to roll onto them if you're drunk or something. I saw the clip of Peaches Geldof arguing with the repulsive Hopkins Troll Creature yesterday and everything Peaches said about Attachment Parenting is pretty well how I brought up my kids - older ones in particular. They have turned into really great adults. I think as others say this is just putting labels on what has always been good parenting. Or 'best practice parenting' which sounds judgemental but isn't meant that way.
I just follow my instincts and do what feels right for me and my kids, no need to put a label on everything... I did breastfeeding, co-sleeping, bathing together and babywearing but it wasn't because I wanted to do attachment parenting, there was a myriad of (largely selfish) reasons for it
I'm pretty sure another word for it is "instinctive parenting".
I do all the things outlined by attachment parenting as well - and agree there doesn't need to be a label- but for some people it works to see it laid out like that.
With mine all being other people's children that I had to raise we got them at various stages from 6 weeks old to 14 years old. Had to just do what felt right at the time, the 6 week old niece I suppose I did baby wear as I had to put her in a sling so I could still dog walk and work. She seemed quite content with it and it worked fine for me too.
With the sleeping she had her own room from the start and was bottle fed obviously and we found she slept through perfectly if we timed bedtime right. After 7.30pm she would not settle as she had got over tired and angry but between 6pm and 7pm she would slide straight off to sleep no problem.
Interestingly the boy came along as a little older 4 and 6 years old and they were dreadful sleepers but with what they went through before they came to us we could understand that. They loved cuddles however and were quite demanding about being held when they wanted comforting. No problem we made it work.
14 Year old was whole different kettle of fish and we did have problems but I am not sure what sort of parenting would have worked for him at that stage.
With mine all being other people's children that I had to raise we got them at various stages from 6 weeks old to 14 years old. Had to just do what felt right at the time, the 6 week old niece I suppose I did baby wear as I had to put her in a sling so I could still dog walk and work. She seemed quite content with it and it worked fine for me too.
With the sleeping she had her own room from the start and was bottle fed obviously and we found she slept through perfectly if we timed bedtime right. After 7.30pm she would not settle as she had got over tired and angry but between 6pm and 7pm she would slide straight off to sleep no problem.
Interestingly the boy came along as a little older 4 and 6 years old and they were dreadful sleepers but with what they went through before they came to us we could understand that. They loved cuddles however and were quite demanding about being held when they wanted comforting. No problem we made it work.
14 Year old was whole different kettle of fish and we did have problems but I am not sure what sort of parenting would have worked for him at that stage.
You're only likely to roll onto them if you're drunk or something. I saw the clip of Peaches Geldof arguing with the repulsive Hopkins Troll Creature yesterday and everything Peaches said about Attachment Parenting is pretty well how I brought up my kids - older ones in particular. They have turned into really great adults. I think as others say this is just putting labels on what has always been good parenting. Or 'best practice parenting' which sounds judgemental but isn't meant that way.
Given the choice on who Id paint as the better mother I would say Peaches, regardless of whats happened in the past week
Given the choice on who Id paint as the better mother I would say Peaches, regardless of whats happened in the past week
I saw that interview and Peaches came across as a lovely and caring mother. For all her wackiness Paula Yates seemed a lovely mum too.
As for that Hopkins creature .......well - I simply feel unbelievably sorry for her poor kids.
If babies cry because they want to be near you and know that you are there - what's wrong with that? Being there for your 'babies' makes them feel loved and secure ..........obviously as they get a little older you 'detatch' a little bit.
Comments
I do wonder how these Mumsnetters can claim to be mother earth when theyre sitting on the internet all day
I think it's awful terminology and suggests something cold and distant. >:(
Agree. Baby is attached physically and emotinally both ways for nine months, to think of severing that link asap instead of continung it is bizarre.
For anyone to even question why a mother would want instant contact with baby after birth to bond or breastfeed or sleep with baby in same room is somehow wrong is wrong in itself IMO
I say down with them all
Do what you want with your baby but dont criticise the most natural thing in the world
3 nights of controlled crying and we had our life back and a much happier baby.
It very much depends on your child. Ours was (and still is) the most strong willed fellow I have ever known. He wanted us by his side but he had to learn that it wasn't possible all the time.
The lesson was a positive one.
Pretty much what we did as well. I became a stay at home mum when I had my son aged 38, I breastfed him, we did baby led weaning, his cot was in our room until he was a year old, we did babywearing to a lesser extent, we did a more gentler version of "cry it out" which didn't involve leaving the room and which only took two nights for him to realise he was safe in his bedroom and we set boundaries as soon as he began to have enough awareness of "right and wrong".
He's now six and we're constantly getting complements on what a well behaved and well mannered child he is so we must have got something right! He can still be a little devil when the mood takes him but he knows that if we say no, not only do we mean it, but there's a reason for it which will be explained to him.
Same here ...........except I only had three. Our children are what we make them ........they need to know that they are loved and cherished IMO.
Not necessarily. There are a number of common sense guidelines to follow though - baby is over six months old, neither parent smokes, the mattress is firm, there's no pillows, there is no chance of the baby overheating from a duvet, no-one's been drinking, no-one is at a point of exhaustion or is suffering from sleep deprivation or has sleep apnoea etc.
It is the most common way of sleeping in Japan and they have the lowest SIDS rate in the world.
BFAK??
Well, I guess I could be described as a 'mumsnetter' seeing as I am registered there and read and post there now and again.
Firstly, I would never describe myself as an earth mother.
Secondly, I don't 'sit on the internet all day' either. I just pop on and off, between doing other things.
And just to address another stereotype, I don't 'hate men' either.
No, the studies show the opposite.
You're only likely to roll onto them if you're drunk or something. I saw the clip of Peaches Geldof arguing with the repulsive Hopkins Troll Creature yesterday and everything Peaches said about Attachment Parenting is pretty well how I brought up my kids - older ones in particular. They have turned into really great adults. I think as others say this is just putting labels on what has always been good parenting. Or 'best practice parenting' which sounds judgemental but isn't meant that way.
I'm pretty sure another word for it is "instinctive parenting".
I do all the things outlined by attachment parenting as well - and agree there doesn't need to be a label- but for some people it works to see it laid out like that.
With the sleeping she had her own room from the start and was bottle fed obviously and we found she slept through perfectly if we timed bedtime right. After 7.30pm she would not settle as she had got over tired and angry but between 6pm and 7pm she would slide straight off to sleep no problem.
Interestingly the boy came along as a little older 4 and 6 years old and they were dreadful sleepers but with what they went through before they came to us we could understand that. They loved cuddles however and were quite demanding about being held when they wanted comforting. No problem we made it work.
14 Year old was whole different kettle of fish and we did have problems but I am not sure what sort of parenting would have worked for him at that stage.
I never said you did, but thanks for clearing that up
Do you foster?
Given the choice on who Id paint as the better mother I would say Peaches, regardless of whats happened in the past week
I saw that interview and Peaches came across as a lovely and caring mother. For all her wackiness Paula Yates seemed a lovely mum too.
As for that Hopkins creature .......well - I simply feel unbelievably sorry for her poor kids.
If babies cry because they want to be near you and know that you are there - what's wrong with that? Being there for your 'babies' makes them feel loved and secure ..........obviously as they get a little older you 'detatch' a little bit.
No I know you didn't. It is one of the 'mumsnetter' stereotypes though, isn't it? Or at least so I keep reading on this forum.
I had to look this one up. Pardon my ignorance. For a moment, I thought you were talking about emotionally distant parents.
BIB For the reason that we will do something for the baby to make that noise stop. Ain't nature wonderful?
I had a sling thingy but only used it when I was sitting down. I was absolutely terrified of wearing it outdoors and falling over.
Sure I read something the other day about it also being about dissuading parents from further conception till the child is older ;-)