Liz is friends with Sue Needleman, did you know? Sue Needleman, you can look her up on Google if you haven't heard of her. Sue Needleman. They are FRIENDS.
Isobel made me laugh by going round saying, ‘This desk is beautiful! And these chairs! And that 70s coffee set! You must keep them, Liz. Don’t let them be lost.’
Why is that funny? Unless of course Liz's friend Isobel (she has no friends, but she has two! Sue Needleman and Isobel!) is poking fun at Liz's mother's stuff and actually thinks it's naff. Ha ha how hilarious. HOW the lower classes live, guffaw. No Conran or Ralph Lauren in this house. Sentimentality, what is that? Sorry, I cannot hear you, for nobody is PROJECTING for my DEAFNESS.
"Issy" has given Liz a piano. Where on earth will she PUT it? She has no room for such things and nor does she have time. What with typing a million words a week, she's going to have horrific OOS and her piano lessons from the lady at NatWest (what?) will just make it worse.
The Baker does an absolute ton of really obnoxious things. Despite this, the fact that "he loves her" is supposed to be a reason for her to want that proposal, still.
The Baker's family sound AWESOME.
Odds on her actually dumping him? Bad.
Sorry everyone... it's a bit of a rant this week....
BIB - That bit made me blood boil. Of course her "friend" was taking the piss out of her mothers belongings. Just goes to show that to her, expensive material things are more important to her than anything else.
Where was the "and there was the coffee set mum got out when we had guests" or "mum loved that chair..." or "tea always tasted better from that tea pot mum had".
No, we got how her friend made her larf by taking the pee out her dead mothers treasured items. How very upper middle class of you Lizard. How very brave of you.
No doubt next week will be about her demanding everything because she paid for her mothers care and chasing out one of her family members because they half inched one of "HER" chairs..blah blah blah ...whine whine whine.
And ENOUGH with your so called deafness! For the love of Primark!
You are hard of hearing you self centered hollow hearted woman, not deaf. Only she would moan and complain about people who are disabled being put 1st before her. If she couldn't hear, where was she sitting?? At the back away from the common folk?
Did she tell the vicar she can't hear so could he mind speaking up during the service or did she expect him to know she was DEAF because he should know who she is and read her columns? (I had to once ask the humanist to ensure her voice boomed as we had several old dears who couldn't hear well who were coming to a family funeral).
Having buried 4 close family members my dear Lizard, I do recall you sit at the front of each funeral as that's where close family members sit. I could hear the service each time despite being hard of hearing in one ear (and that was before I got my hearing aid). It's not hard Lizard, you just have to get involved in the funeral and ask the vicar to speak up.
Also... for someone so broke, WHY did she get her flowers from a posh flower shop??! Do they come with a huge label saying "FLOWERS FROM MCQUEENS!! GET YOUR HAND TIED LILIES FROM AROUND £165! LOOK HOW AMAZING THIS PERSON IS FOR SPENDING SO MUCH MONEY ON THEM!!". A classic example of showing off again.
Lizard my dear, your mum cannot see them. No one cares where they came from. You can get the most precious, beautiful funeral flowers from a lovely independent flower shop at very good prices. Trust me, I've done this 4 times. It's not about you and showing off. It's about the person you are burying and the people who came to show their respect and love for that person.
It's just not about you.
And I LOVE his family as well!! They have her completely sussed out. Kudo's to his sister Ann!
MOST hearing impaired people don't like being shouted at, strangely enough. I find the ones I know are inclined to lip read, which can be done from quite some distance. Besides, Liz has told us at least once that she CAN lip read.
MOST hearing impaired people don't like being shouted at, strangely enough. I find the ones I know are inclined to lip read, which can be done from quite some distance. Besides, Liz has told us at least once that she CAN lip read.
This is what I don't understand with her.
I learnt to kind of lip read from a young age because I was always getting ear infections and would sit at the front of the class and watch the teachers lips so I could follow the class. I do it now without even knowing I'm doing it sometimes, especially when I'm tired. Also someone booming at you doesn't help if their vocal range is outside your hearing range.
So I can only imagine her sitting at the back on freshly dry cleaned vintage Laura Ashley cushion (because you don't know who had been sitting there before!) slouched down and moaning to herself that NO ONE is paying attention to her deafness.
'So, we put my mum in the ground...' What a touching opening sentiment. Poor Mrs Jones, if she was humiliated by her daughter in life it will be nothing compared to the milage that her passing will give Lizard over the coming months. Not at the loss of a beloved parent but, once again, how hard done to she was as a child and teenager by not having designer clothes and a Chopper bike, etc. Respect to the family Scrace. Though I would have imagined that after a year of reading about their son in such cringe making detail would have been sufficient reason not to allow her over their doorstep. They are now guaranteed to be official column fodder for the rest of their lives.
Just a thought, Scrace's parents, given that he is an OAP himself, would be at least in their mid-to-late eighties. If she starts taking regular pot shots at them I would hope that the daughter would make an official complaint to stop her family being further exploited.
Just a thought, Scrace's parents, given that he is an OAP himself, would be at least in their mid-to-late eighties. If she starts taking regular pot shots at them I would hope that the daughter would make an official complaint to stop her family being further exploited.
The parents are both 93, Seabird, according to Jones. And yes, I bet she will start taking pot shots at them now ... all good fodder for her ghastly Dreary. Wonder if the Baker will stand up to her and protect his parents, or if he'll just cravenly go along with it, so long as the goodies are coming his way and his meal-ticket is kept happy.
If LJ had an ounce of sensitivity, nobody would be upset. And she might, just might, find a bit of happiness. (finding a sense of humour would be good, as well: I dare say the "typist" remark - if the remark was ever made - was a bit of teasing but, no, bait taken hook, line and sinker)
The Baker's family seem lovely people and kind (the array of vegetarian dishes: wonder if she said thank you?). I pity them being dragged into this morass of self-pitying, hurtful drivel.
I think she is just Mail on Sunday now - she doesn't seem to have had the weekday stuff since Big Brother - of course there is still the "novel" she is writing to come
Having just come across the latest Bridget Jones book [the series/franchise LJ is sooo jealous of, which she rips off at every opportunity],
I suspect that Helen Fielding was enjoying a private joke in
naming Bridget Jones's young boyfriend Roxster. http://www.novelicious.com/2014/01/review-bridget-jones-mad-about-the-boy.html
I reckon the "typist" comment was just his slightly cackhanded way of saying "well, you type, don't you?". Typists don't really exist any more, anyway. It's admin secretary or something like that...
UGH so David remains resolutely undumped. This is going to go on for all eternity, isn't it? Why does he love me, why doesn't he propose, why is he so crap, why does he love me, wah wah wah, for all time.
How old is Ailing Racehorse Lizzie? Because Liz should really consider how long a horse might live and work out her life plans according to when Lizzie will eventually die. She can sell the country pile that she hates and move back to London on the proceeds in - five years? Ten? Less?
It does concern me how often her pets get things wrong with them. I might just be naive, but it sounds as though the horse is not being looked after all that well.
Hmm, a check reveals the horse must have been eight when she wrote this so Lizzie is about 11 now. 15 to 20 years in theory (by which time Liz will be in her late 70s, I hope she's worked that out). It does sound like a particularly damaged horse, so it may not live as old as that.
I'm an animal lover but even I know that there are sometimes you have to let them go.
Considering she was only recently writing about euthanasia and letting people go at their natural time instead of keeping them alive in relation to her mother she doesn't seem to apply this to her animals.
I remember years ago I worked with someone who was horse mad and one of hers kept getting a similar issue with twisted guts and after the 3rd incident she let her horse be put to sleep as the horses quality of life was so low and there was no knowledge her beloved pet wouldn't get it again and be in agony (and apparently the pain for the horse is awful). Poor girl was sobbing at the desk so we kept sending her home. But she knew it was the right thing to do even though it broke her young heart. (and they could afford to pay the vet bills)
And what about all her other pets? What is going to happen to them if she decides to move back to London or don't they count anymore?? She isn't going to find a house big enough with a garden for all those dogs and considering none of them sound well trained she isn't going to find a dog walker who will be willing to take them on for her.
Now at last we understand why Liz's life is so awful and why she must type a million words a year at only 50p a word to pay for M&S organic carrot sticks and other essentials. Because of her incredibly kind heart she puts herself into these terrible positions. Only for Lizzie and the ten million random badly behaved dogs and blind lamb does she live in the country in a hell of manicured lawns and distance away from her beloved prosecco and David.
Surely I'm not the only one who picked up that they borrowed someone's trailer without telling them, didn't use it in the end and failed to return it or tell them where it was. And she wonders why her neighbours don't like her.
I am really really liking the sound of The Baker's family. They've got Lizard's measure and they aren't happy for the darling boy. Mind you, I suspect he's fully aware of the Faustian pact he's made with her - loads of goodies, financial security (maybe ...), publicity for his shop (er ... is it good publicity? Fingernailsgate? Stinking of fagsgate?)
Re the sickly horse, well, same old ... remember that poor dying cat, kept going long after when it would have been merciful to put it to sleep, because Lizard couldn't bear to be without it? Poor bloody horse. And as for her hysterical wail about 'If I lose her, I lose everything' - oh please, grow up.
Can't help contrasting these loud protestations of grief with the snidey comments in last week's Dreary about her and her friend sniggering at her poor mother's taste in chairs, desk, 70s coffee set.
Words fail me. I lost my mum on 18th August. Am still devastated. I also cannot believe the way that she has glossed over that and instead concentrated her whole missive (can't call it a column- it really is too obsessive for that).
I can't believe that she can be so horrid to everyone around her and put such a low price on her mother's passing, whilst bemoaning vet bills and forgetting that she also has other animals to consider too
Apologies if this is a rant.
Words fail me. I lost my mum on 18th August. Am still devastated. I also cannot believe the way that she has glossed over that and instead concentrated her whole missive (can't call it a column- it really is too obsessive for that).
I can't believe that she can be so horrid to everyone around her and put such a low price on her mother's passing, whilst bemoaning vet bills and forgetting that she also has other animals to consider too
Apologies if this is a rant.
Oh AligatorCat, am so sorry for your loss. Am sending you big hugs as I know what it's like to lose a mum. *hugs*
Well in that case.. she is totally self centered. I have a 3 official cats, a feral cat with 4 kits who appear to want to stay here and a part share in a horse. Not bragging, but just want to point out that I would rather go hungry then to let the animals do so. And certainly wouldn't be wasting money that she clearly doesn't have by buying ipads and the like.
if the stuff in her columns is actually true and a true representation of her views, then she is clearly one damaged individual. She is stuck in victim mode and seems to hate everybody else. I am sick of her saying she is skint when she clearly is not. She gets to be creative, she lives in a lovely house but can also go to events and have experiences most people can dream of, she has earned shed loads of money, she has loads of animals. She has a relationship, she has her health, she has fame of a kind. Lucky does not even begin to cover it. Liz, if you are reading this, read Lynda Bellingham's article about dying and then try and find some humility and dignity.
if the stuff in her columns is actually true and a true representation of her views, then she is clearly one damaged individual. She is stuck in victim mode and seems to hate everybody else. I am sick of her saying she is skint when she clearly is not. She gets to be creative, she lives in a lovely house but can also go to events and have experiences most people can dream of, she has earned shed loads of money, she has loads of animals. She has a relationship, she has her health, she has fame of a kind. Lucky does not even begin to cover it. Liz, if you are reading this, read Lynda Bellingham's article about dying and then try and find some humility and dignity.
I just read the gastropub rubbish. Are we seriously expected to believe LJ worked in a pub kitchen aged 11? My brother was born a couple of years before her and he sort of dropped out of school aged about 13. Even at that age it was highly illegal for him to be working (although he did). I find it most unlikely that LJ would have been scullery-maiding at the age of 11, unless she was born in 1858 and not 1958.
Comments
Sorry everyone... it's a bit of a rant this week....
BIB - That bit made me blood boil. Of course her "friend" was taking the piss out of her mothers belongings. Just goes to show that to her, expensive material things are more important to her than anything else.
Where was the "and there was the coffee set mum got out when we had guests" or "mum loved that chair..." or "tea always tasted better from that tea pot mum had".
No, we got how her friend made her larf by taking the pee out her dead mothers treasured items. How very upper middle class of you Lizard. How very brave of you.
No doubt next week will be about her demanding everything because she paid for her mothers care and chasing out one of her family members because they half inched one of "HER" chairs..blah blah blah ...whine whine whine.
And ENOUGH with your so called deafness! For the love of Primark!
You are hard of hearing you self centered hollow hearted woman, not deaf. Only she would moan and complain about people who are disabled being put 1st before her. If she couldn't hear, where was she sitting?? At the back away from the common folk?
Did she tell the vicar she can't hear so could he mind speaking up during the service or did she expect him to know she was DEAF because he should know who she is and read her columns?
Having buried 4 close family members my dear Lizard, I do recall you sit at the front of each funeral as that's where close family members sit. I could hear the service each time despite being hard of hearing in one ear (and that was before I got my hearing aid). It's not hard Lizard, you just have to get involved in the funeral and ask the vicar to speak up.
Also... for someone so broke, WHY did she get her flowers from a posh flower shop??! Do they come with a huge label saying "FLOWERS FROM MCQUEENS!! GET YOUR HAND TIED LILIES FROM AROUND £165! LOOK HOW AMAZING THIS PERSON IS FOR SPENDING SO MUCH MONEY ON THEM!!". A classic example of showing off again.
Lizard my dear, your mum cannot see them. No one cares where they came from. You can get the most precious, beautiful funeral flowers from a lovely independent flower shop at very good prices. Trust me, I've done this 4 times. It's not about you and showing off. It's about the person you are burying and the people who came to show their respect and love for that person.
It's just not about you.
And I LOVE his family as well!! They have her completely sussed out. Kudo's to his sister Ann!
sorry.. had to get that all off my boobs
This is what I don't understand with her.
I learnt to kind of lip read from a young age because I was always getting ear infections and would sit at the front of the class and watch the teachers lips so I could follow the class. I do it now without even knowing I'm doing it sometimes, especially when I'm tired. Also someone booming at you doesn't help if their vocal range is outside your hearing range.
So I can only imagine her sitting at the back on freshly dry cleaned vintage Laura Ashley cushion (because you don't know who had been sitting there before!) slouched down and moaning to herself that NO ONE is paying attention to her deafness.
Well, it is listed under council housing. It is rather amusing to consider Liz living in a council house, even if it is just part-time.
Based on the way she describes this paragon of masculinity, they are as bad as each other and are also making each other thoroughly miserable.
The parents are both 93, Seabird, according to Jones. And yes, I bet she will start taking pot shots at them now ... all good fodder for her ghastly Dreary. Wonder if the Baker will stand up to her and protect his parents, or if he'll just cravenly go along with it, so long as the goodies are coming his way and his meal-ticket is kept happy.
If LJ had an ounce of sensitivity, nobody would be upset. And she might, just might, find a bit of happiness. (finding a sense of humour would be good, as well: I dare say the "typist" remark - if the remark was ever made - was a bit of teasing but, no, bait taken hook, line and sinker)
The Baker's family seem lovely people and kind (the array of vegetarian dishes: wonder if she said thank you?). I pity them being dragged into this morass of self-pitying, hurtful drivel.
(Piano lessons? From Sue-at-Nat-West? Bonkers)
Having just come across the latest Bridget Jones book [the series/franchise LJ is sooo jealous of, which she rips off at every opportunity],
I suspect that Helen Fielding was enjoying a private joke in
naming Bridget Jones's young boyfriend Roxster. http://www.novelicious.com/2014/01/review-bridget-jones-mad-about-the-boy.html
Sorry if I'm the 2,700th person to mention this !
How old is Ailing Racehorse Lizzie? Because Liz should really consider how long a horse might live and work out her life plans according to when Lizzie will eventually die. She can sell the country pile that she hates and move back to London on the proceeds in - five years? Ten? Less?
It does concern me how often her pets get things wrong with them. I might just be naive, but it sounds as though the horse is not being looked after all that well.
Considering she was only recently writing about euthanasia and letting people go at their natural time instead of keeping them alive in relation to her mother she doesn't seem to apply this to her animals.
I remember years ago I worked with someone who was horse mad and one of hers kept getting a similar issue with twisted guts and after the 3rd incident she let her horse be put to sleep as the horses quality of life was so low and there was no knowledge her beloved pet wouldn't get it again and be in agony (and apparently the pain for the horse is awful). Poor girl was sobbing at the desk so we kept sending her home. But she knew it was the right thing to do even though it broke her young heart. (and they could afford to pay the vet bills)
And what about all her other pets? What is going to happen to them if she decides to move back to London or don't they count anymore?? She isn't going to find a house big enough with a garden for all those dogs and considering none of them sound well trained she isn't going to find a dog walker who will be willing to take them on for her.
EDIT: It's ok I found her diary
Re the sickly horse, well, same old ... remember that poor dying cat, kept going long after when it would have been merciful to put it to sleep, because Lizard couldn't bear to be without it? Poor bloody horse. And as for her hysterical wail about 'If I lose her, I lose everything' - oh please, grow up.
Can't help contrasting these loud protestations of grief with the snidey comments in last week's Dreary about her and her friend sniggering at her poor mother's taste in chairs, desk, 70s coffee set.
What an utterly charmless woman Jones is.
I can't believe that she can be so horrid to everyone around her and put such a low price on her mother's passing, whilst bemoaning vet bills and forgetting that she also has other animals to consider too
Apologies if this is a rant.
Oh AligatorCat, am so sorry for your loss. Am sending you big hugs as I know what it's like to lose a mum. *hugs*
Feel free to rant as much as you like!
Well in that case.. she is totally self centered. I have a 3 official cats, a feral cat with 4 kits who appear to want to stay here and a part share in a horse. Not bragging, but just want to point out that I would rather go hungry then to let the animals do so. And certainly wouldn't be wasting money that she clearly doesn't have by buying ipads and the like.
Couldn't agree more.