Why don' t folks who want kids marry ?
RegTheHedge
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With the stats overwhelmingly in favour of married relationships lasting a whole lot longer than non married partnerships - and with the welfare and family stability of children obviously paramount , why is it that more people don't commit ?
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Because, in the words of Milton, marriage is like a living soul being chained to a rotting corpse. Who in their right minds would ever want that?
Are you posting from the 1950's?
Marriage (can be) expensive to get into and is very expensive to get out of.
You can have a mortage or rent a house together, share a car, have pets, have a family together without getting married.
The only reason, in my eyes, to get married is the law is on your side in case of split or death.
not for the lack of trying on his behalf,he would love to marry me,im just not interested in being wed.
being married wouldnt change a thing to me
Ask him to bring back a tin of Vim. (Could be a nice present for the little wife).
exactly....and a split for many 'non marrieds' is fairly inevitable
It can be helpful in cases where the spouse is automatically next of kin in case of serious illness etc and also in the event of death of a spouse the fact that you are married makes things a bit easier with legal matters when it comes to the kids and assets.
Although I can see a better way to get a stalker.
My husband has rung me three times this morning to remind me about the coalman.
Sad but true
Totally agree and a spark of outrage from unmarried successful couples was completely expected...in fact know quite a few myself
Thing is they are in the minority..;;
And that's one of the main reasons I'm so against marriage.
Everyone should make a will. It makes things so much easier incase of death. I cannot stress the importance of a will enough.
As a man, I think that marriage offers a terrible deal for men. These days it is weighted massively in the favour of women. It's just too risky. If I get married, statistically, there's roughly a 50/50 that it will end in divorce (which is usually initiated by the woman). For men, this means disaster. It means financial and emotional ruin, while for her it means getting the house and the kids. I've seen what divorce does to men and I find it terrifying. Sure, marriage might work out brilliantly, but the cost of it not working is just too much for men, I think. Men are increasingly realising this, and until something is done about it, women will find it more and more difficult to find a man who wants to marry.
I definitely want kids, though.
You are against marriage because it makes things easier for your spouse and children who are left behind?
In some cases it doesn't make it easier. It's a very personal thing with me as I have experience of this and it's on going.
I completely disagree that when married, the spouse is automatic next of kin. The spouse might do things with the deceased's estate that the deceased would not like. Hence the importance of a will and very trustworthy relatives or friends knowing where the will is kept.
It should be upto the deceased where and who their estate goes to when they are gone, not the spouse, the automatic next of kin with marriage.
I hate to break this to you but getting kids and setting up home with a partner also leads hurt, dividing assets if you jointly buy a house and financial responsibilities that you have to face even though you have split up.
The current arragements don't always make things easier. For blended families it can create problems as a new spouse is pitted against the old unless the couple make their wills carefully.
That really depends on how you want to divide things amongst your spouse and children especially in the case of second relationships when you might want to protect your children's inheritence from a spouse and they secure theirs for their kids. I think the automatic inheritence thing in the absence of a will should be reviewed. Perhaps the spouses portion should go to them for a lifetime to be passed onto blood relativies of the deceased after death.
I'd love to see some stats on that, if you have any?