Yes I read it. Can you explain what you find alarming about it?
Of course we must assume this teenager is telling the truth and not exaggerating one bit. I notice he hasn't returned since I pulled him up on his previous thread.
There are a lot of trolls on DS as you know.
Why did you snip the post? its the post as a whole not just the bits you want to cherry pick.
Look you made a boo boo saying what you did , you were pulled up for it, get over it, its not the end of the world.
Why did you snip the post? its the post as a whole not just the bits you want to cherry pick.
Look you made a boo boo saying what you did , you were pulled up for it, get over it, its not the end of the world.
Pardon? I didn't snip the post at all. I copied the whole thing and highlighted what she had shouted at him about.
I've just read his posting history and he's obsessed with the soaps. His OP sounds like a scene out of Eastenders to be honest!
I did not make a boo boo saying what I did. In my life, that is how it was. We don't all live perfect lives and we're not all perfect Mum's. I'm actually offended you say I'm trying to get out of what I said. I most certainly am not and I'm sorry, but I still don't believe the OP. I'll admit I lightheartedly put my first response about PMT and Menopause, but I generally meant 'this is what mum's do'. As this is what I do and what my mum did and what my friends and relatives do. I apologise if any mother out there took offence.
Pardon? I didn't snip the post at all. I copied the whole thing and highlighted what she had shouted at him about.
I've just read his posting history and he's obsessed with the soaps. His OP sounds like a scene out of Eastenders to be honest!
I did not make a boo boo saying what I did. In my life, that is how it was. We don't all live perfect lives and we're not all perfect Mum's. I'm actually offended you say I'm trying to get out of what I said. I most certainly am not and I'm sorry, but I still don't believe the OP. I'll admit I lightheartedly put my first response about PMT and Menopause, but I generally meant 'this is what mum's do'. As this is what I do and what my mum did and what my friends and relatives do. I apologise if any mother out there took offence.
You highlighted one bit, but missed out on the other bits, you did make a boo boo as you spoke for all mums when you should have just said " Myself and my mum and all my friends and family do this" ( as if) :rolleyes:
Im posting in this thread about this problem I really dont care about other threads or post the OP has made unless it becomes pretty obvious that someone is a troll or WUM This thread is a pretty standard run of the mill thread and no warning bells have rung.
Not sure why everyone is having a go at Miss N. Teenage pregnancy must be up there as one of the top worries parents have and parents aren't excluded from being capable of having a rant. Even if it isn't normal for you personally, it doesn't make it abnormal, so it's perfectly OK to say "it's what we do" and understand that doesn't make it all inclusive.
The relationship between parent and teenage offspring can be fraught and anyone who denies the normalcy of this is totally blinkered. And there is nothing in the OP to suggest this is anything other than that. If fawlty comes back and tells us that actually his mother has been bananas for as long as he can remember, then that's another thing, but until that happens, I think playing down the rant as Miss N has is the most sensible post in this thread. After all, the fact that fawlty's Mum has raised at least two children who have gone or who intend to go to University seems to me to be evidence she is doing more right than wrong.
Not sure why everyone is having a go at Miss N. Teenage pregnancy must be up there as one of the top worries parents have and parents aren't excluded from being capable of having a rant. Even if it isn't normal for you personally, it doesn't make it abnormal, so it's perfectly OK to say "it's what we do" and understand that doesn't make it all inclusive.
The relationship between parent and teenage offspring can be fraught and anyone who denies the normalcy of this is totally blinkered. And there is nothing in the OP to suggest this is anything other than that. If fawlty comes back and tells us that actually his mother has been bananas for as long as he can remember, then that's another thing, but until that happens, I think playing down the rant as Miss N has is the most sensible post in this thread. After all, the fact that fawlty's Mum has raised at least two children who have gone or who intend to go to University seems to me to be evidence she is doing more right than wrong.
Might agree with that if the OP was 13 , 14 or 15 but they are 18 and they said this one one example , I cant imagine ranting at my kids when they were 18, didnt rant anyway and anyone who does is a fool as all it does is make things worse is non productive.
Might agree with that if the OP was 13 , 14 or 15 but they are 18 and they said this one one example , I cant imagine ranting at my kids when they were 18, didnt rant anyway and anyone who does is a fool as all it does is make things worse is non productive.
I agree it probably isn't productive (I say probably, because Mum may have felt a certain release from the act), but human beings don't always behave productively.
As for the age, most 18 year olds I know/knew would have taken themselves out of the vicinity of a full on rant from a parent; infact I personally wouldn't have stuck around for 3 minutes, let alone 3 hours. Younger teens wouldn't normally have the same freedom.
Maybe she's just scared of you flying the nest. I know it's silly,but when people are scared of losing someone they may do irrational things that actually drives them away.
You do say it's just the two of you. Maybe she's not conscious of it, but deep down inside she may be realising you're not her little child anymore, you have your own life and friends and is afraid you won't need her anymore.
Maybe there are other emotional problems.
Seat her down and have a heart to heart when she is calm and find out where her outburst are coming from. Try not to sound accusing, but concerned.
Not sure why everyone is having a go at Miss N. Teenage pregnancy must be up there as one of the top worries parents have and parents aren't excluded from being capable of having a rant. Even if it isn't normal for you personally, it doesn't make it abnormal, so it's perfectly OK to say "it's what we do" and understand that doesn't make it all inclusive.
The relationship between parent and teenage offspring can be fraught and anyone who denies the normalcy of this is totally blinkered. And there is nothing in the OP to suggest this is anything other than that. If fawlty comes back and tells us that actually his mother has been bananas for as long as he can remember, then that's another thing, but until that happens, I think playing down the rant as Miss N has is the most sensible post in this thread. After all, the fact that fawlty's Mum has raised at least two children who have gone or who intend to go to University seems to me to be evidence she is doing more right than wrong.
Miss N basically disbelieves the OP so how can any advice offered be of any use? Too many here want to play detective rather than to help.
OP - you say that your sister was badly affected by your mum's behaviour and has moved out. Are you the last child living at home now with no siblings for support? If so then that is a very bad situation and unless you feel that you are a lot stronger than your sister and able to cope with the situation better than she did, then it's probably best that you look into moving out.
There are many, many less than perfect parents out there and most children become adults before they realise that they are not the problem, the parent is the root cause of the problem. And then many kids find that the relationship only improves when you are no longer living together.
I literally feel Iike I'm the parent and she's the child half the time, she starts rows over the tiniest little things ever, for example I told her my friend is pregnant, and she moaned and ranted and screamed for three whole hours about it saying about how it will "distract me from my revision and I must stop speaking to her" and rubbish like that, when at the end of the day she's the one who's distracting me for keeping on for hours on end about pointless things. I keep begging her to stop shouting and be quiet, but she then accuses me of being argumentative for saying this to her and threatens to call the police on me and tells me I'm going to fail my life.
Then she'll go quiet for about half an hour and she'll be like "I love you, I'm sorry, I promise I'll never do it again" and she makes it really convincing, and then things are okay for a bit, but it's always guaranteed to happen again.
This happens on a regular basis.
It's just me and her living in the house and I'm 18. What advice can you give me? I can't cope with it
Sounds like a good mother to me. She must also be bored and rather lonely by your description.
I'm sorry Miss N, but that's not normal.
And his mother's behaviour as described in OP, is not normal! If you think it is, I'm sorry, but that's not normal either.
And I do think you're out of line with some comments, if that matters....
Your mum might be suffering from depression. I used to think that it just involved moping around and being really sad, but it can be accompanied by outbursts of anger.
It's very common in middle-aged women.
I'm sorry Miss N, but that's not normal.
And his mother's behaviour as described in OP, is not normal! If you think it is, I'm sorry, but that's not normal either.
Someone screaming non-stop for three hours is not normal. However, I concur with Miss N, I suspect the OP exaggerated for effect - not an unusual trait in a teen, quite normal in fact. A bit like the "almost attempted suicide".
If it is the truth, then I suggest next time it happens the OP phone for an ambulance as Mum clearly needs to be sectioned. I am only surprised a neighbour didn't call the police.
Someone screaming non-stop for three hours is not normal. However, I concur with Miss N, I suspect the OP exaggerated for effect - not an unusual trait in a teen, quite normal in fact. A bit like the "almost attempted suicide".
If it is the truth, then I suggest next time it happens the OP phone for an ambulance as Mum clearly needs to be sectioned. I am only surprised a neighbour didn't call the police.
Or she could be depressed or going through a bad time. Im sure if it were normal the OP would not bother posting about it.
This should help you know if its normal behaviour for the ops mum or not
My mum has completely lost control and I can't cope with her
Why in a perfectly normal thread ( as in nothing outrageous) would two people both think the OP is lying Its not as if its out there is it.
It's difficult to know exactly what's going on here because we only have one side of the story. We don't know whether the mother has problems such as money worries, health problems or whether she's just stressed and lonely. We don't know whether the OP is prone to exaggeration and histrionics.
What we do know is that we have a teenager and a mother who appear not to be getting on very well - and that is pretty normal. The behaviour, even as described, doesn't sound that far outside normal bounds if you assume there's a degree of exaggeration.
OP you are now 18 and an adult. You have two choices - either find a way to leave or find a way to get on with your mother so that you can stay.
Ask yourself whether your mother has a lot of worries - is she hard up financially, are you helping out around the house or is she over-worked, does she have friends or a partner to support her. It's a lonely business if she's a single parent. Try to remain calm with her and cut her some slack - I'm certain she's had to do the same with you over the years.
She's your Mum and I'm sure she wants what's best for you. Perhaps she's worrying that you may fail your exams - it's a particularly worrying time for parents of young people right now as there are so few opportunities - education may be even more important than usual in her mind. She may worry that if you fail and can't find a job that she'll have to support you.
Try your best to put yourself in your Mum's shoes - or even better try to talk to her (calmly) about it. If you can show that you are thinking about her as well as yourself, and not over-reacting when she has an off day then your relationship may improve.
And don't worry - relationships usually improve as teenagers become fully fledged adults and become more independent.
My mum's relationship with myself and two of my sisters started to become very strained and verbally abusive at the time we went into puberty and started to make our own minds up about things, so maybe your mum feels her control on you slipping. I'm 22 and our relationship has never fully healed, as soon as I'm employed again, I'm out of here.
Comments
Why did you snip the post? its the post as a whole not just the bits you want to cherry pick.
Look you made a boo boo saying what you did , you were pulled up for it, get over it, its not the end of the world.
Pardon? I didn't snip the post at all. I copied the whole thing and highlighted what she had shouted at him about.
I've just read his posting history and he's obsessed with the soaps. His OP sounds like a scene out of Eastenders to be honest!
I did not make a boo boo saying what I did. In my life, that is how it was. We don't all live perfect lives and we're not all perfect Mum's. I'm actually offended you say I'm trying to get out of what I said. I most certainly am not and I'm sorry, but I still don't believe the OP. I'll admit I lightheartedly put my first response about PMT and Menopause, but I generally meant 'this is what mum's do'. As this is what I do and what my mum did and what my friends and relatives do. I apologise if any mother out there took offence.
You highlighted one bit, but missed out on the other bits, you did make a boo boo as you spoke for all mums when you should have just said " Myself and my mum and all my friends and family do this" ( as if) :rolleyes:
Im posting in this thread about this problem I really dont care about other threads or post the OP has made unless it becomes pretty obvious that someone is a troll or WUM This thread is a pretty standard run of the mill thread and no warning bells have rung.
Ive always found that those who spend most time in showbiz , think everything is a lie
The relationship between parent and teenage offspring can be fraught and anyone who denies the normalcy of this is totally blinkered. And there is nothing in the OP to suggest this is anything other than that. If fawlty comes back and tells us that actually his mother has been bananas for as long as he can remember, then that's another thing, but until that happens, I think playing down the rant as Miss N has is the most sensible post in this thread. After all, the fact that fawlty's Mum has raised at least two children who have gone or who intend to go to University seems to me to be evidence she is doing more right than wrong.
Might agree with that if the OP was 13 , 14 or 15 but they are 18 and they said this one one example , I cant imagine ranting at my kids when they were 18, didnt rant anyway and anyone who does is a fool as all it does is make things worse is non productive.
I agree it probably isn't productive (I say probably, because Mum may have felt a certain release from the act), but human beings don't always behave productively.
As for the age, most 18 year olds I know/knew would have taken themselves out of the vicinity of a full on rant from a parent; infact I personally wouldn't have stuck around for 3 minutes, let alone 3 hours. Younger teens wouldn't normally have the same freedom.
You do say it's just the two of you. Maybe she's not conscious of it, but deep down inside she may be realising you're not her little child anymore, you have your own life and friends and is afraid you won't need her anymore.
Maybe there are other emotional problems.
Seat her down and have a heart to heart when she is calm and find out where her outburst are coming from. Try not to sound accusing, but concerned.
Miss N basically disbelieves the OP so how can any advice offered be of any use? Too many here want to play detective rather than to help.
OP - you say that your sister was badly affected by your mum's behaviour and has moved out. Are you the last child living at home now with no siblings for support? If so then that is a very bad situation and unless you feel that you are a lot stronger than your sister and able to cope with the situation better than she did, then it's probably best that you look into moving out.
There are many, many less than perfect parents out there and most children become adults before they realise that they are not the problem, the parent is the root cause of the problem. And then many kids find that the relationship only improves when you are no longer living together.
Hang on....so you're not interested in OP's previous posting history but you look at mine?
Anyway, your assumption is correct.
Well yes I did look at yours as your posts are very odd, OPs posts in this thread are not so why would I look at theirs
Maybe advice isn't for one so jaded as yourself?
Sounds like a good mother to me. She must also be bored and rather lonely by your description.
People in glass houses...
(funny how we agreed on Qwerty's thread the other day but then that's DS for you!!).
First bit does not make sense
And yes we agreed then but not on this one, that's not DS that's just life.
And his mother's behaviour as described in OP, is not normal! If you think it is, I'm sorry, but that's not normal either.
And I do think you're out of line with some comments, if that matters....
It's very common in middle-aged women.
Someone screaming non-stop for three hours is not normal. However, I concur with Miss N, I suspect the OP exaggerated for effect - not an unusual trait in a teen, quite normal in fact. A bit like the "almost attempted suicide".
If it is the truth, then I suggest next time it happens the OP phone for an ambulance as Mum clearly needs to be sectioned. I am only surprised a neighbour didn't call the police.
Or she could be depressed or going through a bad time. Im sure if it were normal the OP would not bother posting about it.
This should help you know if its normal behaviour for the ops mum or not
My mum has completely lost control and I can't cope with her
Why in a perfectly normal thread ( as in nothing outrageous) would two people both think the OP is lying Its not as if its out there is it.
What we do know is that we have a teenager and a mother who appear not to be getting on very well - and that is pretty normal. The behaviour, even as described, doesn't sound that far outside normal bounds if you assume there's a degree of exaggeration.
OP you are now 18 and an adult. You have two choices - either find a way to leave or find a way to get on with your mother so that you can stay.
Ask yourself whether your mother has a lot of worries - is she hard up financially, are you helping out around the house or is she over-worked, does she have friends or a partner to support her. It's a lonely business if she's a single parent. Try to remain calm with her and cut her some slack - I'm certain she's had to do the same with you over the years.
She's your Mum and I'm sure she wants what's best for you. Perhaps she's worrying that you may fail your exams - it's a particularly worrying time for parents of young people right now as there are so few opportunities - education may be even more important than usual in her mind. She may worry that if you fail and can't find a job that she'll have to support you.
Try your best to put yourself in your Mum's shoes - or even better try to talk to her (calmly) about it. If you can show that you are thinking about her as well as yourself, and not over-reacting when she has an off day then your relationship may improve.
And don't worry - relationships usually improve as teenagers become fully fledged adults and become more independent.