29th February

spaniel-loverspaniel-lover Posts: 4,188
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I'm a kind traditional kind of person, & as such am thinking of proposing marriage to my boyfriend on 29th February (for those of you who don't know, this day which comes around only once every 4 years, is the day when women can ask men to marry them). I don't know who's supposed to buy the engagement ring though, usually it's the man, but usually it's the man who proposes, does anybody know if the woman asks then does she have to buy the ring?

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  • Judge MentalJudge Mental Posts: 18,593
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    I'm a kind traditional kind of person, & as such am thinking of proposing marriage to my boyfriend on 29th February (for those of you who don't know, this day which comes around only once every 4 years, is the day when women can ask men to marry them). I don't know who's supposed to buy the engagement ring though, usually it's the man, but usually it's the man who proposes, does anybody know if the woman asks then does she have to buy the ring?

    Don't even think of buying your own ring! If he says yes then go and choose one together. Good luck x
  • GogfumbleGogfumble Posts: 22,155
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    Don't even think of buying your own ring! If he says yes then go and choose one together. Good luck x

    Agreed.
  • ShrikeShrike Posts: 16,590
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    Surely if you are preposing you buy him a ring, and then if he accepts (I'm sure he will;)) then he'll buy you one too.
    Never quite saw the point of buying one later or with the preposer though - if you are going to be traditional you've got to have the ring ready to whip as you do the asking...
  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] Posts: 12,881
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    I bought my OH a really nice watch to the same sort of value as my ring.
  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] Posts: 1,232
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    I bought my OH a really nice watch to the same sort of value as my ring.

    That's a really nice idea :)

    OP - I think I'd follow stargazer's lead. Get him something of similar value to an engagement ring, but as a watch, or a neck chain, or cufflinks - something jewellry-ish he will appreciate. He can then buy you the ring at a later date.

    Good luck with the proposal - hope he says yes :)
  • spaniel-loverspaniel-lover Posts: 4,188
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    The watch thing is a nice idea, but my boyfriend does not wear one. On the one hand you could say in which case he really needs one, but he does not want one; I suggested that I might buy him one as a Christmas present, & was met with total lack of enthusiasm so I bought him a book instead. He does not wear any jewellery, I know that when he was married before he didn't have a wedding ring - but if he marries me then I'll insist on him wearing one!:cool: Neither of us are well off unfortunately; I've seen a lovely ring in the local jewellers - but at £740 it's out of our league.
  • gemma-the-huskygemma-the-husky Posts: 18,116
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    podgicus wrote: »
    That's a really nice idea :)

    OP - I think I'd follow stargazer's lead. Get him something of similar value to an engagement ring, but as a watch, or a neck chain, or cufflinks - something jewellry-ish he will appreciate. He can then buy you the ring at a later date.

    Good luck with the proposal - hope he says yes :)

    similar value? blimey.

    something of similar value to an engagement ring, will be a hell of a watch, or whatever, methinks.

    Haven't looked for a long while, but you must be talking £1000 plus for a nice engagement ring.
  • joijijoiji Posts: 582
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    Asking someone to marry you then expecting them to go and buy you an engagement ring is a little cheeky IMO especially if money is a little tight. If you are going to propose I would get your own small ring for him to put on after he accepts which would then give him time to save and buy you one without any pressure to find money he lest have to spare right now.
  • PunkchickPunkchick Posts: 2,369
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    I proposed to my husband as the clock struck midnight on millennium eve, but we didn't actually tie the knot until 2009. We had already talked about it and looked at rings, so I just sneaked off and got the two rings we had seen as a surprise. Yes my husband also wore an engagement ring as he wanted one. Funny thing is although I have the diamond ring I haven't worn it in years, we both just wear our wedding rings now. I have known plenty of women to buy their own ring especially in this day and age when the female is just as likely to be the main bread winner as the man.
  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] Posts: 10,970
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    similar value? blimey.

    something of similar value to an engagement ring, will be a hell of a watch, or whatever, methinks.

    Haven't looked for a long while, but you must be talking £1000 plus for a nice engagement ring.

    You can get very nice diamond rings for a few hundred these days.
  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] Posts: 1,232
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    similar value? blimey.

    something of similar value to an engagement ring, will be a hell of a watch, or whatever, methinks.

    Haven't looked for a long while, but you must be talking £1000 plus for a nice engagement ring.

    Depends on the kind of ring you want. Mine cost £350, white gold, single diamond, with a silghtly unusual twist where the stone is set. It's not particularly flashy, but it's perfect for me.

    Of course, if you want a big flashy rock, then yes it'll cost a hell of a lot. But tbh, I'd be happier with a cheaper ring which doesn't bankrupt the bloke, than a big flash expensive one which does.

    At the end of the day, to me at least, the value of the ring really isn't important. I'd have been happy if my OH had proposed with a jelly sweet ring - it's the engagement and subsequent marriage that matters.

    OP - if you really can't think of anything, then there's no real need to actually buy him something. A really nice meal out together before you pop the question maybe, or something small like that. As I've just said, it's the promise of and commitment to marriage which is important, not any trinkets which are exchanged.
  • gemma-the-huskygemma-the-husky Posts: 18,116
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    podgicus wrote: »
    Depends on the kind of ring you want. Mine cost £350, white gold, single diamond, with a silghtly unusual twist where the stone is set. It's not particularly flashy, but it's perfect for me.

    Of course, if you want a big flashy rock, then yes it'll cost a hell of a lot. But tbh, I'd be happier with a cheaper ring which doesn't bankrupt the bloke, than a big flash expensive one which does.

    At the end of the day, to me at least, the value of the ring really isn't important. I'd have been happy if my OH had proposed with a jelly sweet ring - it's the engagement and subsequent marriage that matters.

    OP - if you really can't think of anything, then there's no real need to actually buy him something. A really nice meal out together before you pop the question maybe, or something small like that. As I've just said, it's the promise of and commitment to marriage which is important, not any trinkets which are exchanged.


    I said I hadn't looked for a long while. The one I bought was 30 years ago.

    I just think an engagement ring is a very special thing. I doubt whether any man would expect his fiancee to spend the same on a gift for him.
  • trphiltrphil Posts: 2,931
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    I said I hadn't looked for a long while. The one I bought was 30 years ago.

    I just think an engagement ring is a very special thing. I doubt whether any man would expect his fiancee to spend the same on a gift for him.

    It was always traditional to spend a month's wages on an engagement ring...
  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] Posts: 10,970
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    trphil wrote: »
    It was always traditional to spend a month's wages on an engagement ring...

    That's just crazy :eek:
  • QwertyGirl1771QwertyGirl1771 Posts: 4,472
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    I still remember the last leap year when Mr Q pretended to be all coy when I asked him. We were already engaged but I thought it would be a bit of fun. Hurt my knees though!

    Blimey! A months salary for a ring. That's too much. I wouldn't have been happy if Mr Q spent that much on me. Money could be used for the home rather than a ring (I think anyway).
  • c4rvc4rv Posts: 29,538
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    Don't even think of buying your own ring! If he says yes then go and choose one together. Good luck x

    I don't think OP meant buying her own ring. She was asking about buying his ring ?
  • Xela MXela M Posts: 4,710
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    I wouldn't propose to a man - makes you look a bit desperate. Why don't you wait until he asks you? That's just my opinion though and no offence to those who have proposed to their husbands
  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] Posts: 1,717
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    Xela M wrote: »
    I wouldn't propose to a man - makes you look a bit desperate. Why don't you wait until he asks you? That's just my opinion though and no offence to those who have proposed to their husbands

    Would you also then say that men who propose are desperate?? :rolleyes:
  • Xela MXela M Posts: 4,710
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    Ellie82 wrote: »
    Would you also then say that men who propose are desperate?? :rolleyes:

    No because that's traditionally how it works. I just don't understand why a woman would want to propose to her boyfriend rather than wait for him to ask her?
  • PunkchickPunkchick Posts: 2,369
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    Xela M wrote: »
    No because that's traditionally how it works. I just don't understand why a woman would want to propose to her boyfriend rather than wait for him to ask her?

    It is also traditional for a woman to propose on 29th February. I don't believe in gender stereotypes and that extends to all things including proposing to my OH. Although we had already decided to get engaged just hadn't officially done it when I proposed. It is also not traditional for women to be the main bread winner but I am, and because of this we have decided he will do the majority of the child care when we have children, again not traditional.
  • Xela MXela M Posts: 4,710
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    Punkchick wrote: »
    It is also traditional for a woman to propose on 29th February. I don't believe in gender stereotypes and that extends to all things including proposing to my OH. Although we had already decided to get engaged just hadn't officially done it when I proposed. It is also not traditional for women to be the main bread winner but I am, and because of this we have decided he will do the majority of the child care when we have children, again not traditional.

    I am and always was the main breadwinner as well, but I still wouldn't want to propose to a man. I honestly cannot understand why one would not wait for him to ask? I just asked a (male) colleague's opinion and he said he would say "no" if his girlfriend asked him :D (he asked her though and they're engaged)
  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] Posts: 1,229
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    I'm a kind traditional kind of person, & as such am thinking of proposing marriage to my boyfriend on 29th February (for those of you who don't know, this day which comes around only once every 4 years, is the day when women can ask men to marry them). I don't know who's supposed to buy the engagement ring though, usually it's the man, but usually it's the man who proposes, does anybody know if the woman asks then does she have to buy the ring?

    I have no idea re the ring but I think it's a fantastic idea :)
  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] Posts: 5,432
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    Do people still get engaged?

    I know that when we were very young people would get engaged - but that was pre-pill and a whole different world. I can't think of any of my peers who were engaged before marriage in terms of ring exchanges etc.

    Whatever you decide congrats on your decision and hope it all goes well on the 29th :D
  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] Posts: 1,229
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    Do people still get engaged?

    Of my friends who have got married, they've all been engaged for around 2 years before getting married. Think it was more for saving for the wedding.
  • MaybelleMaybelle Posts: 2,957
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    That sounds so romantic - he's a lucky chap :)
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