Forgive me for writing here, but I guess I need to express how I am feeling right now.
Last night, Sammy, my beloved tabby cat died at home. She was 19, which I know is a good age. She had been getting thinner and thinner and weaker during the past few weeks, although she didn't seem to be in pain. She had a wonderfully good appetite right up until the day before she passed away and was a fighter. She would wander round, slowly but surely, but the day before she passed away, her legs could barely support her.
Prior to this, apart from her spaying and a visit to cut her long coat back once, she never ever had to visit the vets. She was never ill - not once. She was spoilt rotten really, and was very very much loved. I had her from just 8 weeks old- picked her up and took her home for the first time back in November 1994. She's been through so much in my life with me, from moving house twice to the breakup of 2 past relationships. It seems like she has been a part of me forever....
Paul xx
Forgive me for copying a pasting this part of your heartfelt post as aside from the name and month it describes our situation exactly as we recently lost our lovely cat a couple of weeks ago and reading your moving account brought it all back . It's practically word perfect . How odd !
Just to make matters worse for our family we also had to have our extremely loving , 10 year old dog put to sleep last week and losing the two of them as left an a void that you cannot imagine
Zizu just wanted to say how sorry I am that you lost both your pets in such a short time. The only consolation is that they were well loved and am sure both knew it. Take care.
Zizu just wanted to say how sorry I am that you lost both your pets in such a short time. The only consolation is that they were well loved and am sure both knew it. Take care.
In floods of tears reading this thread. I can relate to your story so much. I am sorry for your loss, and yes; like other have said - it gets better with time.
I'm 19, 5 years ago I got two kittens Lilly and Bruno who were brother and sister but not blood related, they grew up together and they were very much a part of the family, they were pretty much my children. 4 months ago, Bruno (the tabby) died from anti-freeze poisoning (we don't know what happened, if he drank something he shouldn't have done outside, or whether it was done on purpose by someone...), he was in so much pain and had to be put down. It was so heartbreaking, it felt like one of my best friends had died, honestly... It's still heart breaking now. And what makes it worse is that Lilly, the white cat, was his brother and I can feel she feels his loss - it's like her brother has gone and she goes looking for him sometimes - even now still. I just thought I'd share my story.
In floods of tears reading this thread. I can relate to your story so much. I am sorry for your loss, and yes; like other have said - it gets better with time.
I'm 19, 5 years ago I got two kittens Lilly and Bruno who were brother and sister but not blood related, they grew up together and they were very much a part of the family, they were pretty much my children. 4 months ago, Bruno (the tabby) died from anti-freeze poisoning (we don't know what happened, if he drank something he shouldn't have done outside, or whether it was done on purpose by someone...), he was in so much pain and had to be put down. It was so heartbreaking, it felt like one of my best friends had died, honestly... It's still heart breaking now. And what makes it worse is that Lilly, the white cat, was his brother and I can feel she feels his loss - it's like her brother has gone and she goes looking for him sometimes - even now still. I just thought I'd share my story.
Forgive me for writing here, but I guess I need to express how I am feeling right now.
Last night, Sammy, my beloved tabby cat died at home. She was 19, which I know is a good age. She had been getting thinner and thinner and weaker during the past few weeks, although she didn't seem to be in pain. She had a wonderfully good appetite right up until the day before she passed away and was a fighter. She would wander round, slowly but surely, but the day before she passed away, her legs could barely support her.
Prior to this, apart from her spaying and a visit to cut her long coat back once, she never ever had to visit the vets. She was never ill - not once. She was spoilt rotten really, and was very very much loved. I had her from just 8 weeks old- picked her up and took her home for the first time back in November 1994. She's been through so much in my life with me, from moving house twice to the breakup of 2 past relationships. It seems like she has been a part of me forever....
I am now happily married, 2 gorgeous kids and 5 other cats that my wife and I seemed to have collected over the years...so I am not alone - with either my human or feline friends....thing is, right now, I feel so alone. So very empty and tearful. I knew my bond with Sammy was strong - but I think that I under-estimated quite how strong.
Her passing looked incredibly peaceful. My wife and I laid her on a blanket yesterday morning as she didn't have the strength to move. Her breathing looked deep but calm. Every time we stroked her chin, she would try and meow but no sound at all ( in the last few months she would meow a lot, we felt she had gone a little senile).
Then, late last night, we put a pillow and covers in a oval shaped washing basket and popped her in there with a blanket over her. She looked like a little baby in a Moses basket - very peaceful. Eventually, around 11.30 last night she took her final breaths and peacefully passed away....
This morning, at 9, we took her, all wrapped up, to our local vets, who are arranging a private cremation for her. We should have her back in a weeks time. I have ordered a 'sleeping cat' casket from a website called CPC Cares. A friend of mine has this casket and it looks beautiful - very simple but beautiful.
I am a grown man of 44 but I feel like a small child right now with my emotions. I very tearful and have cried more than I ever knew was possible. It hurts inside so much, can't wait to feel a little better. I know time is the greatest healer - and it is. For sure. Thing is, I didn't realise just how hard this would hit me. Deep down, like my wife tells me, it was lovely she passed away at home naturally. Thing is, this aspect, I don't know why is also really upsetting...just thinking about her yesterday, looking snug and fast asleep is deeply hurting me. I know it will get better in time, it's just I never quite envisaged feeling as bad as I do.
Thank you so very, very much for reading this - I find writing this strangely therapeutic and feel like I am letting some of my emotions out, which I know, is a good thing...
My heart goes out to any of you reading this that have gone through the awful feelings of loosing a much loved pet. To me, she was a member of my close family and I guess that's how a lot of people feel at this time.....
As I say, thanks again for taking the time to read this.....it means a lot to me.
Paul xx
Very sorry to hear of the loss of your beloved cat. I was in a very similar situation to you a year ago when my beloved dog, Jess died on 29 December. Like you, I also had a really strong bond with my pet who I treated as a "substitute child" as I have no children of my own. Even though it is a year ago since I lost Jess I am still grieving for her.
I dont come into this thread very often but today I did.
To all of you who have lost their pets recently, my heart goes out to you.
Reading all your posts have brought a tear to my eye and I feel for you all.
Cats (and dogs) are not just animals that happen to live with you. They are family. Members of your family that you have loved over the years. To then lose one of these family members is heartbreaking.
I'm looking at my cat now, curled up on her little bed by the window and just want to go and give her a big hug (although I doubt she'd be very happy about that - you know how "moody" cats can be )
Remember - your pets lived with you, in the warmth of your house and the warmth of your love. They loved you just as much as you loved them.
Forgive me for writing here, but I guess I need to express how I am feeling right now.
Last night, Sammy, my beloved tabby cat died at home. She was 19, which I know is a good age. She had been getting thinner and thinner and weaker during the past few weeks, although she didn't seem to be in pain. She had a wonderfully good appetite right up until the day before she passed away and was a fighter. She would wander round, slowly but surely, but the day before she passed away, her legs could barely support her.
Prior to this, apart from her spaying and a visit to cut her long coat back once, she never ever had to visit the vets. She was never ill - not once. She was spoilt rotten really, and was very very much loved. I had her from just 8 weeks old- picked her up and took her home for the first time back in November 1994. She's been through so much in my life with me, from moving house twice to the breakup of 2 past relationships. It seems like she has been a part of me forever....
I am now happily married, 2 gorgeous kids and 5 other cats that my wife and I seemed to have collected over the years...so I am not alone - with either my human or feline friends....thing is, right now, I feel so alone. So very empty and tearful. I knew my bond with Sammy was strong - but I think that I under-estimated quite how strong.
Her passing looked incredibly peaceful. My wife and I laid her on a blanket yesterday morning as she didn't have the strength to move. Her breathing looked deep but calm. Every time we stroked her chin, she would try and meow but no sound at all ( in the last few months she would meow a lot, we felt she had gone a little senile).
Then, late last night, we put a pillow and covers in a oval shaped washing basket and popped her in there with a blanket over her. She looked like a little baby in a Moses basket - very peaceful. Eventually, around 11.30 last night she took her final breaths and peacefully passed away....
This morning, at 9, we took her, all wrapped up, to our local vets, who are arranging a private cremation for her. We should have her back in a weeks time. I have ordered a 'sleeping cat' casket from a website called CPC Cares. A friend of mine has this casket and it looks beautiful - very simple but beautiful.
I am a grown man of 44 but I feel like a small child right now with my emotions. I very tearful and have cried more than I ever knew was possible. It hurts inside so much, can't wait to feel a little better. I know time is the greatest healer - and it is. For sure. Thing is, I didn't realise just how hard this would hit me. Deep down, like my wife tells me, it was lovely she passed away at home naturally. Thing is, this aspect, I don't know why is also really upsetting...just thinking about her yesterday, looking snug and fast asleep is deeply hurting me. I know it will get better in time, it's just I never quite envisaged feeling as bad as I do.
Thank you so very, very much for reading this - I find writing this strangely therapeutic and feel like I am letting some of my emotions out, which I know, is a good thing...
My heart goes out to any of you reading this that have gone through the awful feelings of loosing a much loved pet. To me, she was a member of my close family and I guess that's how a lot of people feel at this time.....
As I say, thanks again for taking the time to read this.....it means a lot to me.
Paul xx
Sorry to hear of your loss, you become attached to pets so when they pass it's devastating,
I don't tell the wife but when we go on holiday for two weeks and we put our two dogs in kennels I just can't wait until it's over so that I can get back to my Dogs sad I know but when I'm home I have it all I have my wife our boy and my dogs
Just thought I would check back into this thread - and again - thank you to each and everyone of you for your kind words. It's been a comfort - although reading your own tales of upset and sorrow at the loss of your pets, is, of course, extremely sad and I now fully appreciate what it feels like - to anyone reading this who has lost a beloved pet - my heart goes out to you.
Well, it's been almost exactly 3 weeks since Sammy passed away. As you may remember from my opening post, I was literally in agony with grief the following couple of days...
However, just as everyone quite rightly said, time is a great healer and slowly (although actually much more quickly than I envisaged), I found the strength to return 'to normal' and go about my life and work as before - although - it's not quite the same - of course.
I had Sammy cremated - a week before Christmas I went to collect her from the vets. She was in a lovely hand made type bag with a ribbon on - inside was a wonderfully pretty flower pressed onto a certificate which gave her details.
Her ashes were inside a small see through little bag. I had already bought a beautiful 'sleeping cat' wooden casket ready to transfer her ashes.
It was at the moment I saw the ashes that I felt the second, huge wave of grief wash over me. Suddenly, this was all that was left - no physical body anymore - just powder - she really had gone.
I popped her ashes in the underside of the sleeping cat casket and sealed it up. Sammy now 'lives' by our patio doors, discreetly in the corner - much as she had done when she was with us.
Since, I have been able to look at pictures and video - luckily, I am the sort of person who takes a million photo's of everything - so there's a huge archive of pictures to see! I have many, many pictures of her down the years as well as a piece of cherished video tape of her I took when she was a kitten, way, way back in November 1994 (I've not been able to quite watch this yet).
So, I guess, I've got better and my memories of Sammy are starting to turn to how she was - not her in her final moments...which is something I was keen to move on from...
It's funny because looking back at pictures of her, she was a *big* cat - a 'fat tummy' cat - if you know what I mean - it's strange how much you forget things (I was used to her looking very old and thin) - but - the pictures etc have brought back some fond memories.
Once again, I'll end on a huge *thank you* to everyone who has kindly read my thread/contributed. It is so lovely to know that there are some simply wonderful people out there - pity I don't know you all in real life as some of the replies I've read makes we wish I had more friends like you...
Here's to 2014 and let's hope for everyone it's a happy and wonderful time - keeping any lost little friends where they should be - firmly in your hearts...
Just thought I would check back into this thread - and again - thank you to each and everyone of you for your kind words. It's been a comfort - although reading your own tales of upset and sorrow at the loss of your pets, is, of course, extremely sad and I now fully appreciate what it feels like - to anyone reading this who has lost a beloved pet - my heart goes out to you.
Well, it's been almost exactly 3 weeks since Sammy passed away. As you may remember from my opening post, I was literally in agony with grief the following couple of days...
However, just as everyone quite rightly said, time is a great healer and slowly (although actually much more quickly than I envisaged), I found the strength to return 'to normal' and go about my life and work as before - although - it's not quite the same - of course.
I had Sammy cremated - a week before Christmas I went to collect her from the vets. She was in a lovely hand made type bag with a ribbon on - inside was a wonderfully pretty flower pressed onto a certificate which gave her details.
Her ashes were inside a small see through little bag. I had already bought a beautiful 'sleeping cat' wooden casket ready to transfer her ashes.
It was at the moment I saw the ashes that I felt the second, huge wave of grief wash over me. Suddenly, this was all that was left - no physical body anymore - just powder - she really had gone.
I popped her ashes in the underside of the sleeping cat casket and sealed it up. Sammy now 'lives' by our patio doors, discreetly in the corner - much as she had done when she was with us.
Since, I have been able to look at pictures and video - luckily, I am the sort of person who takes a million photo's of everything - so there's a huge archive of pictures to see! I have many, many pictures of her down the years as well as a piece of cherished video tape of her I took when she was a kitten, way, way back in November 1994 (I've not been able to quite watch this yet).
So, I guess, I've got better and my memories of Sammy are starting to turn to how she was - not her in her final moments...which is something I was keen to move on from...
It's funny because looking back at pictures of her, she was a *big* cat - a 'fat tummy' cat - if you know what I mean - it's strange how much you forget things (I was used to her looking very old and thin) - but - the pictures etc have brought back some fond memories.
Once again, I'll end on a huge *thank you* to everyone who has kindly read my thread/contributed. It is so lovely to know that there are some simply wonderful people out there - pity I don't know you all in real life as some of the replies I've read makes we wish I had more friends like you...
Here's to 2014 and let's hope for everyone it's a happy and wonderful time - keeping any lost little friends where they should be - firmly in your hearts...
Paul
xx
I am having a pendant made with some of my cats ashes for my little girl as i wanted something for her to remember her by that she could wear and treasure.
I still feel incredibly guilty as mine went in for an exploratory operation and vet found two lumps and rang to ask what to do, i said to do the biopsies, tests and things and let her come home and we would have a think what course of action we would take, she came home that evening and died during the night (she was obviously so ill that she couldnt recover from the surgery)had i known how aggressive the cancer was ( we got results 4 days after she died) i would have told them to put her to sleep whilst under anaesthetic so that she didnt suffer.
Vet told me we did the right thing as at least she died at home with us but i dont think it was the right thing and even now it worries me that she may have suffered in the time between the surgery and her passing away.
I am having a pendant made with some of my cats ashes for my little girl as i wanted something for her to remember her by that she could wear and treasure.
I still feel incredibly guilty as mine went in for an exploratory operation and vet found two lumps and rang to ask what to do, i said to do the biopsies, tests and things and let her come home and we would have a think what course of action we would take, she came home that evening and died during the night (she was obviously so ill that she couldnt recover from the surgery)had i known how aggressive the cancer was ( we got results 4 days after she died) i would have told them to put her to sleep whilst under anaesthetic so that she didnt suffer.
Vet told me we did the right thing as at least she died at home with us but i dont think it was the right thing and even now it worries me that she may have suffered in the time between the surgery and her passing away.
Hello there
I can *fully* understand where you are coming from and your natural guilt at the way things happened - guilt, I think, is something an awful lot of us feel when it comes to this subject...I know I did with my cat as, after she passed away, I kept on wondering if she really was in any pain during her final days etc...
All I can say, from reading your post, is that you're obviously a very kind and caring person and obviously - you did what you thought was best at the time - hindsight is, as they say a "wonderful thing" -and if you could wind the clock back you know what choice you would have made. Sadly, life isn't like this and you can only do the best you think.....
At least she is now in peace and hurting no more..
Please try *not* to feel that guilt - although I appreciate some-one like me saying that isn't going to make you immediately change your thoughts - but try not to feel so guilty - like I say, you can only do at the time what you think is the right thing to do. Maybe the "right" thing at the time was the "wrong" thing in retrospect, but there is nothing you can (sadly) do to change this and I do hope your feelings of guilt subside quite quickly.
I can *fully* understand where you are coming from and your natural guilt at the way things happened - guilt, I think, is something an awful lot of us feel when it comes to this subject...I know I did with my cat as, after she passed away, I kept on wondering if she really was in any pain during her final days etc...
All I can say, from reading your post, is that you're obviously a very kind and caring person and obviously - you did what you thought was best at the time - hindsight is, as they say a "wonderful thing" -and if you could wind the clock back you know what choice you would have made. Sadly, life isn't like this and you can only do the best you think.....
At least she is now in peace and hurting no more..
Please try *not* to feel that guilt - although I appreciate some-one like me saying that isn't going to make you immediately change your thoughts - but try not to feel so guilty - like I say, you can only do at the time what you think is the right thing to do. Maybe the "right" thing at the time was the "wrong" thing in retrospect, but there is nothing you can (sadly) do to change this and I do hope your feelings of guilt subside quite quickly.
My thoughts go out to you xx
Thankyou i appreciate that, i sort of think the vet knew how bad it was when she opened her up but wanted to give us more time with her as she didnt appear too ill (had lost weight and was sick a few times but as she had never been ill before it was enough to make me get her straight to vet when i thought something wasnt right) i dont think vet would have let her come home had she known she was desperatly ill and would die during the night.
I think its how i found her that is hard to deal with, lets just say she didnt look peaceful.
She was only 10 so quite young i suppose.
I comfort myself with the knowledge that i got her vet treatment as soon as i knew she wasnt right and suppose it just wasnt to be.
We have a photo in a frame of our staffie who died years ago. As time passes, you can smile again when you think of your pets who have died and just remember the happy, nice memories.
We have an 18 year old cat and a 13 year old dog, and it's not so likely we will still have both or either of them, say a year from now. Dog was diagnosed with dementia two years ago and is blind and deaf. The cat is still healthy and like Paul's cat, has reached this great age with no illnesses. If I'm honest I hope they both go at home, and peacefully just like Sammy. Dog in particular as she loathes the vets and is always terrified there. So hopefully as time passes, that is one wonderful comforting thought - for an elderly pet to go at home, surrounded by the people they love, is truly the best ending we could hope for any pet, ever.
The hard part as Paul's posts show, is not just coping with your own grief but your children's. My kids have had the cat their entire lives, and in the case of the younger kids, the dog their entire lives too. Even my grown up son will be devastated when they go. I'm almost dreading that more than anything. But then again, even to get a pet to such an advanced age is an unusual and wonderful thing (we lost 2 staffies in a row at age 6, with different cancers, so to get a dog to nearly 14 is something brilliant).
Thanks for posting this OP, as your thread will help many others here.
My heart goes out to everyone who has suffered the loss of one of their beloved pets. I experienced this sadness myself today.
Today started like any normal Sunday, my dogs woke me up at the crack of dawn excited and ready to get in the car, go for a short drive and then have a lovely walk around the fields. Before we left home, my 15-year old Jack Russell was busy being a pest as normal, covering herself over with my fluffy robe that I’d left lying on my bed and growling at my other dog, preventing her from entering the bedroom. We got in the car and as usual there was a lot of fidgeting about going on, both eager to have a run.
I parked the car and my elderly dog seemed a little reluctant to walk, so I carried her for a little way. I put her down so that she could do what dogs need to do. She was a little bit sick but I wasn’t overly concerned. I picked her up again and she started to fidget so I put her down again. This time she keeled over and couldn’t get up again. I rang the emergency vet and they agreed that she needed to be checked over. I put her down once more, in case she needed to be sick again and a Border Collie approached her, she let out one of her usual barks (she’s famous for it around here) so she was still going strong. I picked her up again and carried her to the car and rushed her to the vet. The vet said that she was in a very bad way and I had to make the heartbreaking decision to end her suffering. She died in my arms at 8.26am.
It all just seems so unreal. I woke up at 6.30 this morning and she was fit and well and full of her usual mischievous spirit but two hours later she was gone. I know that I gave her the best life possible. I got her as a rescue when she was only a pup so she had 15 good years with me. She hadn’t been ill, she’d enjoyed a good Christmas and had her own portion of Christmas dinner with all the trimmings. She finished off the last of the turkey stew yesterday and today, gone. I’ve lost many pets over the years but none have gone so unexpectedly, so suddenly. I feel at a complete loss.
I apologise that my first post on DS is such a depressing one, I think I just needed to express my shock and sadness.
Reading the OP's update, it is a comfort to know that the pain does diminish in time and our lives do return to some semblance or normality after such a heartbreaking loss.
Habbiner, that is heartbreaking. Terriers are tough little things and often don't give us much warning they're ill, eh? Hopefully, when some time has passed, you can take comfort in the fact your little lass was so happy up to her last day and didn't have a lot of intrusive investigations and weeks or going in and out of the vets. I know that's not much comfort. xxx
My heart goes out to everyone who has suffered the loss of one of their beloved pets. I experienced this sadness myself today.
Today started like any normal Sunday, my dogs woke me up at the crack of dawn excited and ready to get in the car, go for a short drive and then have a lovely walk around the fields. Before we left home, my 15-year old Jack Russell was busy being a pest as normal, covering herself over with my fluffy robe that I’d left lying on my bed and growling at my other dog, preventing her from entering the bedroom. We got in the car and as usual there was a lot of fidgeting about going on, both eager to have a run.
I parked the car and my elderly dog seemed a little reluctant to walk, so I carried her for a little way. I put her down so that she could do what dogs need to do. She was a little bit sick but I wasn’t overly concerned. I picked her up again and she started to fidget so I put her down again. This time she keeled over and couldn’t get up again. I rang the emergency vet and they agreed that she needed to be checked over. I put her down once more, in case she needed to be sick again and a Border Collie approached her, she let out one of her usual barks (she’s famous for it around here) so she was still going strong. I picked her up again and carried her to the car and rushed her to the vet. The vet said that she was in a very bad way and I had to make the heartbreaking decision to end her suffering. She died in my arms at 8.26am.
It all just seems so unreal. I woke up at 6.30 this morning and she was fit and well and full of her usual mischievous spirit but two hours later she was gone. I know that I gave her the best life possible. I got her as a rescue when she was only a pup so she had 15 good years with me. She hadn’t been ill, she’d enjoyed a good Christmas and had her own portion of Christmas dinner with all the trimmings. She finished off the last of the turkey stew yesterday and today, gone. I’ve lost many pets over the years but none have gone so unexpectedly, so suddenly. I feel at a complete loss.
I apologise that my first post on DS is such a depressing one, I think I just needed to express my shock and sadness.
Reading the OP's update, it is a comfort to know that the pain does diminish in time and our lives do return to some semblance or normality after such a heartbreaking loss.
sorry to hear of your loss (& others on this thread ofcourse)
my little cat Jess also seemed perfectly well up until the moment she passed. I wasn't actually there with her at the time which still makes me feel awful but I found her when I came home from work. The only thing that comforts me is that she seemed peaceful (Jess always seemed to have a little smile on her face)rested up against her favourite cushion
It's just such a shock when they seemed perfectly well isn't it?
My heart goes out to everyone who has suffered the loss of one of their beloved pets. I experienced this sadness myself today.
Today started like any normal Sunday, my dogs woke me up at the crack of dawn excited and ready to get in the car, go for a short drive and then have a lovely walk around the fields. Before we left home, my 15-year old Jack Russell was busy being a pest as normal, covering herself over with my fluffy robe that I’d left lying on my bed and growling at my other dog, preventing her from entering the bedroom. We got in the car and as usual there was a lot of fidgeting about going on, both eager to have a run.
I parked the car and my elderly dog seemed a little reluctant to walk, so I carried her for a little way. I put her down so that she could do what dogs need to do. She was a little bit sick but I wasn’t overly concerned. I picked her up again and she started to fidget so I put her down again. This time she keeled over and couldn’t get up again. I rang the emergency vet and they agreed that she needed to be checked over. I put her down once more, in case she needed to be sick again and a Border Collie approached her, she let out one of her usual barks (she’s famous for it around here) so she was still going strong. I picked her up again and carried her to the car and rushed her to the vet. The vet said that she was in a very bad way and I had to make the heartbreaking decision to end her suffering. She died in my arms at 8.26am.
It all just seems so unreal. I woke up at 6.30 this morning and she was fit and well and full of her usual mischievous spirit but two hours later she was gone. I know that I gave her the best life possible. I got her as a rescue when she was only a pup so she had 15 good years with me. She hadn’t been ill, she’d enjoyed a good Christmas and had her own portion of Christmas dinner with all the trimmings. She finished off the last of the turkey stew yesterday and today, gone. I’ve lost many pets over the years but none have gone so unexpectedly, so suddenly. I feel at a complete loss.
I apologise that my first post on DS is such a depressing one, I think I just needed to express my shock and sadness.
Reading the OP's update, it is a comfort to know that the pain does diminish in time and our lives do return to some semblance or normality after such a heartbreaking loss.
So desperately sorry to read this. I have some idea of how you may feel of course - my thoughts are with you.
It's a corny old saying, but time is indeed the "greatest healer". Everything for me was raw for at least 2 days - and I mean "raw" - awful, awful feelings. I am sure many of us reading this can sadly identify with this and understand what I mean...
Strangely (I say 'strangely' as I thought it would take a lot longer) after 2 days of desperation and grief, I felt able to continue as normal (well as normal as is possible of course) - this really surprised me, given how upset and distrought I was. I can only presume this may be because I had "let out" all the grief and upset in a dramatic and intense way - perhaps that's what's needed?
Anyhow, as I say, my thoughts are with you - there's not an awful lot anyone can say or do that will make you feel better straight away....just give it a few days....
Comments
Forgive me for copying a pasting this part of your heartfelt post as aside from the name and month it describes our situation exactly as we recently lost our lovely cat a couple of weeks ago and reading your moving account brought it all back . It's practically word perfect . How odd !
Just to make matters worse for our family we also had to have our extremely loving , 10 year old dog put to sleep last week and losing the two of them as left an a void that you cannot imagine
Thank you for your kind words !
In floods of tears reading this thread. I can relate to your story so much. I am sorry for your loss, and yes; like other have said - it gets better with time.
I'm 19, 5 years ago I got two kittens Lilly and Bruno who were brother and sister but not blood related, they grew up together and they were very much a part of the family, they were pretty much my children. 4 months ago, Bruno (the tabby) died from anti-freeze poisoning (we don't know what happened, if he drank something he shouldn't have done outside, or whether it was done on purpose by someone...), he was in so much pain and had to be put down. It was so heartbreaking, it felt like one of my best friends had died, honestly... It's still heart breaking now. And what makes it worse is that Lilly, the white cat, was his brother and I can feel she feels his loss - it's like her brother has gone and she goes looking for him sometimes - even now still. I just thought I'd share my story.
Here are pictures of them:
http://instagram.com/p/JVJY93s5-S/
http://instagram.com/p/Zod78Vs53t/
People say "it's just a cat"... no, he's not just a cat, he was a loyal friend and part of the family.
My best wishes go to you and stay strong
My cat died 6 weeks ago she had aggresive liver cancer went from diagnosis to her dying in 4 days prior to this she seemed fighting fit.
I havnt read all your post, cant bring myself to.
I still get upset, people say its only a pet but to me they are family.
Seems strange that she is gone,find myself checking drive before i drive on to it incase she is there and bought cat food a few weeks back.
Im glad she wasn't ill for long but i miss her such aa lot.
Your post is so sad.
You have alot of friends on here.
Best wishes.
That is heartbreaking. I'm finding these posts getting harder and harder to read.
Beautiful photographs. Beautiful cats. The poor wee soul that's missing his companion.
Thinking about you. Best wishes.
Very sorry to hear of the loss of your beloved cat. I was in a very similar situation to you a year ago when my beloved dog, Jess died on 29 December. Like you, I also had a really strong bond with my pet who I treated as a "substitute child" as I have no children of my own. Even though it is a year ago since I lost Jess I am still grieving for her.
To all of you who have lost their pets recently, my heart goes out to you.
Reading all your posts have brought a tear to my eye and I feel for you all.
Cats (and dogs) are not just animals that happen to live with you. They are family. Members of your family that you have loved over the years. To then lose one of these family members is heartbreaking.
I'm looking at my cat now, curled up on her little bed by the window and just want to go and give her a big hug (although I doubt she'd be very happy about that - you know how "moody" cats can be
Remember - your pets lived with you, in the warmth of your house and the warmth of your love. They loved you just as much as you loved them.
x
Sorry to hear of your loss, you become attached to pets so when they pass it's devastating,
I don't tell the wife but when we go on holiday for two weeks and we put our two dogs in kennels I just can't wait until it's over so that I can get back to my Dogs sad I know but when I'm home I have it all I have my wife our boy and my dogs
So I know your sad. And I'm really sorry for you.
Just thought I would check back into this thread - and again - thank you to each and everyone of you for your kind words. It's been a comfort - although reading your own tales of upset and sorrow at the loss of your pets, is, of course, extremely sad and I now fully appreciate what it feels like - to anyone reading this who has lost a beloved pet - my heart goes out to you.
Well, it's been almost exactly 3 weeks since Sammy passed away. As you may remember from my opening post, I was literally in agony with grief the following couple of days...
However, just as everyone quite rightly said, time is a great healer and slowly (although actually much more quickly than I envisaged), I found the strength to return 'to normal' and go about my life and work as before - although - it's not quite the same - of course.
I had Sammy cremated - a week before Christmas I went to collect her from the vets. She was in a lovely hand made type bag with a ribbon on - inside was a wonderfully pretty flower pressed onto a certificate which gave her details.
Her ashes were inside a small see through little bag. I had already bought a beautiful 'sleeping cat' wooden casket ready to transfer her ashes.
It was at the moment I saw the ashes that I felt the second, huge wave of grief wash over me. Suddenly, this was all that was left - no physical body anymore - just powder - she really had gone.
I popped her ashes in the underside of the sleeping cat casket and sealed it up. Sammy now 'lives' by our patio doors, discreetly in the corner - much as she had done when she was with us.
Since, I have been able to look at pictures and video - luckily, I am the sort of person who takes a million photo's of everything - so there's a huge archive of pictures to see! I have many, many pictures of her down the years as well as a piece of cherished video tape of her I took when she was a kitten, way, way back in November 1994 (I've not been able to quite watch this yet).
So, I guess, I've got better and my memories of Sammy are starting to turn to how she was - not her in her final moments...which is something I was keen to move on from...
It's funny because looking back at pictures of her, she was a *big* cat - a 'fat tummy' cat - if you know what I mean - it's strange how much you forget things (I was used to her looking very old and thin) - but - the pictures etc have brought back some fond memories.
Once again, I'll end on a huge *thank you* to everyone who has kindly read my thread/contributed. It is so lovely to know that there are some simply wonderful people out there - pity I don't know you all in real life as some of the replies I've read makes we wish I had more friends like you...
Here's to 2014 and let's hope for everyone it's a happy and wonderful time - keeping any lost little friends where they should be - firmly in your hearts...
Paul
xx
May your healing continue.
Best wishes.
Thankyou!! Xx
I am having a pendant made with some of my cats ashes for my little girl as i wanted something for her to remember her by that she could wear and treasure.
I still feel incredibly guilty as mine went in for an exploratory operation and vet found two lumps and rang to ask what to do, i said to do the biopsies, tests and things and let her come home and we would have a think what course of action we would take, she came home that evening and died during the night (she was obviously so ill that she couldnt recover from the surgery)had i known how aggressive the cancer was ( we got results 4 days after she died) i would have told them to put her to sleep whilst under anaesthetic so that she didnt suffer.
Vet told me we did the right thing as at least she died at home with us but i dont think it was the right thing and even now it worries me that she may have suffered in the time between the surgery and her passing away.
Hello there
I can *fully* understand where you are coming from and your natural guilt at the way things happened - guilt, I think, is something an awful lot of us feel when it comes to this subject...I know I did with my cat as, after she passed away, I kept on wondering if she really was in any pain during her final days etc...
All I can say, from reading your post, is that you're obviously a very kind and caring person and obviously - you did what you thought was best at the time - hindsight is, as they say a "wonderful thing" -and if you could wind the clock back you know what choice you would have made. Sadly, life isn't like this and you can only do the best you think.....
At least she is now in peace and hurting no more..
Please try *not* to feel that guilt - although I appreciate some-one like me saying that isn't going to make you immediately change your thoughts - but try not to feel so guilty - like I say, you can only do at the time what you think is the right thing to do. Maybe the "right" thing at the time was the "wrong" thing in retrospect, but there is nothing you can (sadly) do to change this and I do hope your feelings of guilt subside quite quickly.
My thoughts go out to you xx
Thankyou i appreciate that, i sort of think the vet knew how bad it was when she opened her up but wanted to give us more time with her as she didnt appear too ill (had lost weight and was sick a few times but as she had never been ill before it was enough to make me get her straight to vet when i thought something wasnt right) i dont think vet would have let her come home had she known she was desperatly ill and would die during the night.
I think its how i found her that is hard to deal with, lets just say she didnt look peaceful.
She was only 10 so quite young i suppose.
I comfort myself with the knowledge that i got her vet treatment as soon as i knew she wasnt right and suppose it just wasnt to be.
X
We have an 18 year old cat and a 13 year old dog, and it's not so likely we will still have both or either of them, say a year from now. Dog was diagnosed with dementia two years ago and is blind and deaf. The cat is still healthy and like Paul's cat, has reached this great age with no illnesses. If I'm honest I hope they both go at home, and peacefully just like Sammy. Dog in particular as she loathes the vets and is always terrified there. So hopefully as time passes, that is one wonderful comforting thought - for an elderly pet to go at home, surrounded by the people they love, is truly the best ending we could hope for any pet, ever.
The hard part as Paul's posts show, is not just coping with your own grief but your children's. My kids have had the cat their entire lives, and in the case of the younger kids, the dog their entire lives too. Even my grown up son will be devastated when they go. I'm almost dreading that more than anything. But then again, even to get a pet to such an advanced age is an unusual and wonderful thing (we lost 2 staffies in a row at age 6, with different cancers, so to get a dog to nearly 14 is something brilliant).
Thanks for posting this OP, as your thread will help many others here.
Today started like any normal Sunday, my dogs woke me up at the crack of dawn excited and ready to get in the car, go for a short drive and then have a lovely walk around the fields. Before we left home, my 15-year old Jack Russell was busy being a pest as normal, covering herself over with my fluffy robe that I’d left lying on my bed and growling at my other dog, preventing her from entering the bedroom. We got in the car and as usual there was a lot of fidgeting about going on, both eager to have a run.
I parked the car and my elderly dog seemed a little reluctant to walk, so I carried her for a little way. I put her down so that she could do what dogs need to do. She was a little bit sick but I wasn’t overly concerned. I picked her up again and she started to fidget so I put her down again. This time she keeled over and couldn’t get up again. I rang the emergency vet and they agreed that she needed to be checked over. I put her down once more, in case she needed to be sick again and a Border Collie approached her, she let out one of her usual barks (she’s famous for it around here) so she was still going strong. I picked her up again and carried her to the car and rushed her to the vet. The vet said that she was in a very bad way and I had to make the heartbreaking decision to end her suffering. She died in my arms at 8.26am.
It all just seems so unreal. I woke up at 6.30 this morning and she was fit and well and full of her usual mischievous spirit but two hours later she was gone. I know that I gave her the best life possible. I got her as a rescue when she was only a pup so she had 15 good years with me. She hadn’t been ill, she’d enjoyed a good Christmas and had her own portion of Christmas dinner with all the trimmings. She finished off the last of the turkey stew yesterday and today, gone. I’ve lost many pets over the years but none have gone so unexpectedly, so suddenly. I feel at a complete loss.
I apologise that my first post on DS is such a depressing one, I think I just needed to express my shock and sadness.
Reading the OP's update, it is a comfort to know that the pain does diminish in time and our lives do return to some semblance or normality after such a heartbreaking loss.
my little cat Jess also seemed perfectly well up until the moment she passed. I wasn't actually there with her at the time which still makes me feel awful but I found her when I came home from work. The only thing that comforts me is that she seemed peaceful (Jess always seemed to have a little smile on her face)rested up against her favourite cushion
It's just such a shock when they seemed perfectly well isn't it?
best wishes
So desperately sorry to read this. I have some idea of how you may feel of course - my thoughts are with you.
It's a corny old saying, but time is indeed the "greatest healer". Everything for me was raw for at least 2 days - and I mean "raw" - awful, awful feelings. I am sure many of us reading this can sadly identify with this and understand what I mean...
Strangely (I say 'strangely' as I thought it would take a lot longer) after 2 days of desperation and grief, I felt able to continue as normal (well as normal as is possible of course) - this really surprised me, given how upset and distrought I was. I can only presume this may be because I had "let out" all the grief and upset in a dramatic and intense way - perhaps that's what's needed?
Anyhow, as I say, my thoughts are with you - there's not an awful lot anyone can say or do that will make you feel better straight away....just give it a few days....
Take care xx
Paul