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Worst Facebook status updates (Part 2)

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    AddisonianAddisonian Posts: 16,377
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    Is it just me or is there an increasing number of photos of lost dogs going up on Facebook all of a sudden?
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    sadmuppetsadmuppet Posts: 8,222
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    Hey baggy fanny a bet you hope to get some cards and red roses for valentines but guess wat the need the money for clap creams so dunt wait for post man will ya on Saturday . A bet u was thinking a for got about you so tell ya fuking mates to screen shoots this one plus ya mummy two

    Oi tramp u had a zip put on ya big fat baggy fanny a hope tommy knows ya did have press studs but the got that rushy u had a zip put on it nar..my time will come wen a kick ya c**t right up to ya fooking eye lids (I put in the asterisks)

    ya dirty smelly tramp and slag u lost Been waiting a long time a really hope ya tell ya boyfriend about all the lads ya been with why hes been away in nick


    Classy!

    I have NO idea what most of it means.... :D

    The 'big fat baggy fanny' made me giggle though!
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    franciefrancie Posts: 31,089
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    Hey baggy fanny a bet you hope to get some cards and red roses for valentines but guess wat the need the money for clap creams so dunt wait for post man will ya on Saturday . A bet u was thinking a for got about you so tell ya fuking mates to screen shoots this one plus ya mummy two

    Oi tramp u had a zip put on ya big fat baggy fanny a hope tommy knows ya did have press studs but the got that rushy u had a zip put on it nar..my time will come wen a kick ya c**t right up to ya fooking eye lids (I put in the asterisks)

    ya dirty smelly tramp and slag u lost Been waiting a long time a really hope ya tell ya boyfriend about all the lads ya been with why hes been away in nick

    Damn, looks as though I've missed out on having this fine specimen in my life. :)
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    Westy2Westy2 Posts: 14,525
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    Addisonian wrote: »
    Is it just me or is there an increasing number of photos of lost dogs going up on Facebook all of a sudden?

    Ive got missing cats & missing people.
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    Jason100Jason100 Posts: 17,222
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    The 43 year old who has a 20 year old girlfriend has just been seen commenting on another womans photo saying "looking good hun"

    I'm guessing it didn't last long with the 20 year old then!
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    Alan1981Alan1981 Posts: 5,416
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    I've seen loads of people posting a picture of Bill Gates today, holding a picture saying "I'm Bill Gates if you share this picture I'll give you $5000.

    Now I usually just scroll past these pictures. But I did comment today on how ridiculous these pictures are. I had a response from some woman saying that it is actually true. Her friend in South Africa shared it and got 5000 dollars.:o
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    Alan1981Alan1981 Posts: 5,416
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    I've seen loads of people posting a picture of Bill Gates today, holding a picture saying "I'm Bill Gates if you share this picture I'll give you $5000.

    Now I usually just scroll past these pictures. But I did comment today on how ridiculous these pictures are. I had a response from some woman saying that it is actually true. Her friend in South Africa shared it and got 5000 dollars.:o
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    Tt88Tt88 Posts: 6,827
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    Someone on mine has just shared a picture of a famous missing child at a football match.

    Yeah because if you kidnapped a child in one of the most famous missing child cases of our time you would take her to a busy football match thats being broadcasted live on thousands of tv stations across the world.
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    Jason100Jason100 Posts: 17,222
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    An update on the 20 year old and 43 year old. Apparently the 20 year old cheated on the 43 year old with two others.
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    Leicester_HunkLeicester_Hunk Posts: 18,316
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    Another specimen from the football banter group:

    My heart was mine an now its yours wen we broke up you put my heart in car door an slamed it shut i moved away cause id had enuf

    Sum one message me board shitless

    Hello my lovely fb m8s how we all didderling close yur eyes an count to 10 an breath in an out do it like 10 times turn yur negative thoughts to positive ones it takes time yu need to be in a room so quite yu could hear a mouse fart lol

    Why can people get with someone an then thay plank you it proper pissin me off wen you to start to get feelins fr em

    and this charmer:

    in court in the mornin find out if i get sent dwn x

    Clearly he got away with it as he kept posting.

    Really thinking of coming off this because of the company we keep - but they do entertain us ......... :D
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    GoatyGoaty Posts: 7,776
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    Strange as see many people post on my friends walls with same message "Take a look at this weird imao" then link in the comment!

    Looks like hackers at work?
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    Jason100Jason100 Posts: 17,222
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    Just seen a friend comment on his sister's "live event" status. She has got engaged to a bloke who she started seeing two weeks ago! There's lots of disapproval and Jeremy Kyle type comments like "it's kids marrying kids"

    Apparently, he is homeless living on the street and his name on facebook contains the word 'pothead'

    They're 19&20 and apparently she goes from boy to boy.
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    desperate housedesperate house Posts: 3,176
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    I have never been on Facebook, but after reading this thread maybe I am missing something, I haven't laughed so much in ages. Please do keep us up to date on "fat baggy fanny" as I cannot wait to see more of this posters comments, she must be a relation of old Will Shakespeare!

    Actually, I should be grateful to Facebook, if it wasn't for my younger grandchildren who do use it, I would never know that I am a great grandmother twice over by my older grandchildren, their kids photos are all over Facebook.
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    seventhwaveseventhwave Posts: 4,967
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    Got one going on at the moment ...

    "Sam" (an ex-neighbour) has a daughter "Samantha". Samantha is an adult, but lives at home because she has a mild learning disability. Apparently, she threw or smashed something during an argument with Sam, and he is convinced that this is a psychotic episode and is trying to have her detained in hospital despite there being nothing really wrong. He keeps posting updates about how he has called the family GP, social services, community mental health team, etc. etc. and all refuse to take action, his poor family is suffering, and so on. I also have Samantha friended, and she has posted just one message, to say that the whole episode is "doing her ****ing head in" and she is going to ask the authorities for her own flat ...
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    Alan1981Alan1981 Posts: 5,416
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    "Cant believe how many bloody Polish are in town, no wonder there's no jobs left".

    Occupation of the couple moaning. Being a full time Mum IS a full time job. And being a Dad IS a full time job since 2009.
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    Alan1981Alan1981 Posts: 5,416
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    Double post.
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    pearlsandplumspearlsandplums Posts: 29,586
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    Spent all afternoon in garden finally planting up the pots and then came in and made four mini homemade Pizzas with parma ham and peppers and motzerella and homemade tomatoe sauce and homemade flat bread base ! And i still cant sleep arggggh !!! Should sleep now though with my hotwater bottle lol moving to bed away from stove as its roasting lol its freezing in winter and sometimes roasting hot in summer in this house lol if stove is not on its freezing if its on it gets very hot lol oh well the joys of country living lol xoxo
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    Jason100Jason100 Posts: 17,222
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    I have a relative who seems to enjoy abusing the like button. Every status I post whether it's interesting or non interesting, the first notification from facebook is them liking my statuses or posts.
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    philphilistinephilphilistine Posts: 263
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    "Am very anemic yes have been for years so Dr sending me tomoz for camera up back passage if all OK then have to go for one down below though mad cos all I need is iron tabs"
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    Jambo_cJambo_c Posts: 4,672
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    One of those idiot "proud mummy" types just shared something from a group called "Your body is not ruined, You're a goddamn tiger who earned her stripes".

    Are tigers not born with stripes, I'm pretty sure they don't "earn" them for doing things and even if they did "earn" them, it probably wouldn't be for popping a kid out. Clearly just a group for fat women who are bitter about other women who lose weight after they have a baby.

    The thing she shared was stupid too. Another one of those "I've had a child and it's so hard but I do really well and it's worth it because I love them so much" type of things. No, it's not that hard and you're just doing something that the majority of other people do.
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    seventhwaveseventhwave Posts: 4,967
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    Jambo_c wrote: »
    One of those idiot "proud mummy" types just shared something from a group called "Your body is not ruined, You're a goddamn tiger who earned her stripes".

    Are tigers not born with stripes, I'm pretty sure they don't "earn" them for doing things and even if they did "earn" them, it probably wouldn't be for popping a kid out. Clearly just a group for fat women who are bitter about other women who lose weight after they have a baby.

    I thought that referred to stretch marks? Which most women have after pregnancy, even if they lose weight after ...

    (I agree that it's a stupid, stupid catchphrase though >:()
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    Jambo_cJambo_c Posts: 4,672
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    I thought that referred to stretch marks? Which most women have after pregnancy, even if they lose weight after ...

    (I agree that it's a stupid, stupid catchphrase though >:()

    Yeah I guess it is. I just read it as any kind of negative effect on the body. Still ridiculous anyway!
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    Rachael.Rachael. Posts: 2,331
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    Jambo_c wrote: »
    One of those idiot "proud mummy" types just shared something from a group called "Your body is not ruined, You're a goddamn tiger who earned her stripes".

    Are tigers not born with stripes, I'm pretty sure they don't "earn" them for doing things and even if they did "earn" them, it probably wouldn't be for popping a kid out. Clearly just a group for fat women who are bitter about other women who lose weight after they have a baby.
    There was someone recently on the buy and sell pages trying to sell a cream that supposedly gets rid of stretch marks. Loads of people commenting on it wanting to buy it then in comes the mummy brigade displaying their disgust that anyone would want to get rid of their stretch marks as they should be proud of them because it's a reminder of your baby!

    Now don't get me wrong I love my daughter to pieces but if there was such thing as a cream that could get rid of the stretch marks she left me with then I would buy it :o
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    fitnessqueenfitnessqueen Posts: 5,185
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    I have now seen so many passive agressive "Minion Quote" postings that if I ever see a Minion I will boot its little yellow a**e into next week. >:(
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    TrollHunterTrollHunter Posts: 12,496
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    Rachael. wrote: »
    There was someone recently on the buy and sell pages trying to sell a cream that supposedly gets rid of stretch marks. Loads of people commenting on it wanting to buy it then in comes the mummy brigade displaying their disgust that anyone would want to get rid of their stretch marks as they should be proud of them because it's a reminder of your baby!
    Wouldn't your child be a reminder of your baby?
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