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Shall I hit this friendship on the head and move on?
Itsallaboutyou
Posts: 1,306 Forum Member
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For over a year I have been texting/speaking to a guy I met on Facebook who is in his early 40s (I'm 28) living outside Manchester.
We finally met up in April, as he came down to me in Weston-super-mare for a long weekend. We got on really well, and he was well aware I had a boyfriend who he did meet. I had a good weekend, and he said that he would come down in August when the weather is stable.
Since his return home, aside from the first few days after the visit....I have BARELY heard anything. I know he works and I know he moved house three days after we met, but I hear nothing anymore only messages about his home town football club which was sent to about 50 others.
Last night, I bought up about him supposedly coming down this month, and told him I am busy a couple of weekends due to birthdays happening and appointments. This message was sent over Facebook, as he did add me on there. I know he read it as on android it acknowledges the message read.
I do have a good friend in Brum who came down last weekend who is due over soon, and have made a friend with the chap living in the flat below.
Shall I just hit this on the head? It seems he has no interest coming down to see me in Weston-super-mare and I can't afford to go up to Manchester. All I want is a straight answer.
We finally met up in April, as he came down to me in Weston-super-mare for a long weekend. We got on really well, and he was well aware I had a boyfriend who he did meet. I had a good weekend, and he said that he would come down in August when the weather is stable.
Since his return home, aside from the first few days after the visit....I have BARELY heard anything. I know he works and I know he moved house three days after we met, but I hear nothing anymore only messages about his home town football club which was sent to about 50 others.
Last night, I bought up about him supposedly coming down this month, and told him I am busy a couple of weekends due to birthdays happening and appointments. This message was sent over Facebook, as he did add me on there. I know he read it as on android it acknowledges the message read.
I do have a good friend in Brum who came down last weekend who is due over soon, and have made a friend with the chap living in the flat below.
Shall I just hit this on the head? It seems he has no interest coming down to see me in Weston-super-mare and I can't afford to go up to Manchester. All I want is a straight answer.
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I'm confused. You've a boyfriend. What is your motive for keeping this guy in your life?
I just want friends in my life. I barely know anyone in my town and its best to have a mix of people.
My boyfriend was fine with me meeting up with him and wanted to know this guy face to face. Even he was shocked the texts dried up.
I do think that myself. When me and him went out he kept telling me I am a fit lad and all that (I dont think I am) which despite the attention made me wary.
He did know I was taken before we met face to face so its not as if I lied.
Yeah I'd agree with this.
Take some positive steps to making real life friends, internet friendship can be fun, but day to day, you need people you can talk to, not text.
You have a point there. The thing is though he can go to football matches home and away and waste money.
I don't target men. We happened to start chatting and that was it. We have similar interests and he suggested to come over to WSM in April, which I said yes.
If he wanted to build a friendship I would have thought he would have kept in touch and chatted about a visit this month.
Not sure what you mean by 'waste money'.
Anyway OP, rather than knock it on the head, maybe take a few steps back. Mute him on Facebook so he's essentially out of sight, out of mind and if he decides to get back in touch then cross that bridge if you come to it.
If, as you say, he moved 3 days after you met, it's more than possible that could be taking up all his focus at the moment and he might get back in touch when things calm down. I've moved enough times to know how stressful it can be.
I'd cut my losses.
I'm actually a guy.
I have kept a few steps back, as in not texting or messaging him on Facebook. The wasting money on football: yes I am a bit jealous he is richer than me, but I am happier despite limited funds. It's just why promise something and turn the opposite way after?
then you could ask him, but if he feels put under pressure because he's busy, you could loose a friend as he may decide you're not easy going enough for him.
Good luck though and I do sympathise with your need for friends.
Oh whoops sorry. I got the impression you were female and had been making friends with a number of men online. Made me wonder why you didn't try and socialise with any females.
Maybe he's busy or the friendship has just come to an end. It can happen.
Dont worry mate. I should have said.
I do believe it has and to be fair even if it has I dont mind. Trying to make a friendship last over 200 miles must be a challenge.
Out of interest was your new friend straight?
He is actually gay himself. Without a boyfriend. He did keep saying during the visit when my boyfriend was not around that I am a fit lad etc