Children don't make you happier?
sands11
Posts: 700 Forum Member
✭✭
I have been thinking about this a lot lately. Its probably something no one wants to admit, I love my children but am glad they are almost grown up now.
The last 18 years has not been easy. I dont know if I have been happier or not but wouldnt be without them.
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-1298478/Do-children-really-make-happier-We-investigated-intriguing-home-truths-.html
The last 18 years has not been easy. I dont know if I have been happier or not but wouldnt be without them.
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-1298478/Do-children-really-make-happier-We-investigated-intriguing-home-truths-.html
0
Comments
A lot of friends with kids say they envy the freedom with have, but I also envy them their children.
Would I have been happier with children? I really don't know. I think in life you just make the best of what you have. And I can honestly say that what I have makes me happy.
However, by having children you sometimes get grandchildren and that is a massive blessing. I absolutely adore my grandchildren and I get to see them everyday and babysit them. I could not be happier when in their company. My relationship with my children is great to.
Assuming that both situations were the result of positive choice, how can you know if you would be happier without kids if you have them or with kids if you don't? You can only guess.
And to state that we self select the happy times with our kids so our memories are always happy ones and therefore not accurate - well dont we do that for every aspect of our lives? It is part of the human condition.
As I said, a totally pointless article that says nothing in several hundred words.
Imagine the postage! :eek:
Obviously I will do a deal on postage if you want both.
They have enriched my life and I would not have done half of the things I have done in my life if I hadn't been doing them to gibve my children as many different life expereinces as possible.
Having said that it's nice when they grow up too, seeing the grown men they are turning into.
Our older son has left home but we live for the times when we're all together such as we're having a family holiday to Portugal in a couple of weeks time:)
How do I say no politely? Anyway, the post round here is so rubbish they would never arrive!
.
OMG you can't sell kids on eBay :eek:
You could try Craigslist though
Love the little guy to bits and cant wait to see him grow more.
But our freedom has gone out the door - dinner out? Need a babysitter.
Few pints at the pub? Bring him along with buggy, nappies and toys.
I'm up every morning at 5:30am to entertain as he has had enough sleep.
Anyone thinking of having kids....make sure you do the things you wanted to do first - ie travel, parties every weekend,etc.
But I wouldn't change it for anything as a smile from him melts my heart.
100% agree with this.
I imagine people who choose not to have children are far happier about their situation in life than those people who desperately wanted children but have not been able to do so.
Likewise parents who actively chose to have their children - who's to say they would have had happier lives without their kids?
Totally pointless article!
If you're an unhappy individual and have kids to fill a void in your life then you're headed for disaster. You'll be setting yourselves up, for severe dissappointment or rather, incredibly high hopes that the children will never achieve for you no matter how successful they are.
If you are a contented individual who decides to start a family because it's the next step then you're headed for a happy time.
If you have an unplanned pregnancy and refuse to accept the consequences then you're headed for resenting the kids and having a miserable parenthood. The kids will grow up to hate you as they will feel the resentment.
If you have an unplanned pregnancy and accept your new role as a parent then you're headed for a successful outcome.
You should have closed your legs.
No-one asked you to have children, no-one made you do it.
Personally I am glad I wanted until being early 30s to have mine as I never felt I had missed out on anything and had a good few years of freedom and fun. Again only my opinion and doesnt apply to everyone.
FWIW, I think the research is bollocks. Who has ever claimed the reason they had children was to be 'happy'? No-one, because having kids doesn't, in itself, make people happy, but then no-one goes on holiday, or strives for more disposable income, to be happy either. We do all these things - kids, holidays, money - in order to give us the freedom to have experiences that we hope will give us more pleasure than misery. Have I done many of things I thought I'd like to have done by now? No. Am I happy having had kids instead? Absolutely. The experiences have been different, but no less fulfilling.
To be fair I was thinking of asking Madonna to see if she wants a ginger one. I mean she has a couple of black kids, a latino one, a white one, surely ginger is her next move?
nobody wants a ginger.
Tell me about it, I have 2, not one bid on Ebay yet!!!
In the early days it's feeding, watering, changing and dressing eventually arriving at exams, driving tests, girlfriends and career choices.
I can honestly say that the only downside for me has been dealing with my son being hurt or upset. Those times ripped through me like a knife. Other than that he has enriched my life in every way and I can't imagine not having experienced that special love I have for him.
He's in his thirties now and I can honestly say he is the best thing that ever happened to me and I would happily go back and do it all again.
Having said all that there are still days when I could hit him over the head with a frying pan!
I thought it was our animal instinct to reproduce.
Kids are foul, noisy, selfish, expensive, demanding little gits. We only love our own and have to pay others to look after them.
If they were the delight you say - folk would be queuing up and paying to baby sit.
Stop kidding yourselves.
Well said. That is exactly what children do for people.
I agreee with this too. Kids are damned bloody hard work and mine frustrate the hell out of me at times. They also bring me more joy and happiness than any other person has. My life was great before I had kids, and it is pretty great now that I have them. I do not miss my life before I had children. Yep, it's great not to plan a military operation before you go out, but then it's nice to have 2 little excuses to use when you don't want to do something and you want to chill in the house and watch Phineas and Ferb.