eHarmony

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  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] Posts: 1,324
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    I've disabled my account on OKCupid. It does let you search on "within" 50km of where I am but the results are anything but this, it's basically everyone regardless of location. You can't even filter results on location, it all seems to about whether someone is a match or not based on these stupid 25 questions you need to answer.

    I've had hardly any messages on POF this week, so I've nothing to report at all about possible dates. Hopefully something will happen soon.

    Have a great weekend everyone.
  • hotmat3khotmat3k Posts: 1,496
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    grotbags1 wrote: »
    I've disabled my account on OKCupid. It does let you search on "within" 50km of where I am but the results are anything but this, it's basically everyone regardless of location. You can't even filter results on location, it all seems to about whether someone is a match or not based on these stupid 25 questions you need to answer.

    I've had hardly any messages on POF this week, so I've nothing to report at all about possible dates. Hopefully something will happen soon.

    Have a great weekend everyone.
    Same to you grotbags! Seems like some of the sites have very poor search engines behind them. Keep your chin up, keep smiling and then someone will see that smile. :p

    My date has basically not bothered to contact me at all. Tried messaging her over MSF earlier in the week but nothing. :( Looks like I'll be back to doing another messaging spree again!
  • Doctor_DonnaDoctor_Donna Posts: 825
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    Hi everyone! Not much to report from me really. Talking to 2 ok ones on Match and just the 1 on POF now. Not heard anymore from Mr-I'm-too-ill-to-meet-you (suprised....not!) :p

    Hope everyone has a good weekend. E-Harmony is free now til Tuesday so I might have a look on there!
  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] Posts: 1,324
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    hotmat3k wrote: »
    Same to you grotbags! Seems like some of the sites have very poor search engines behind them. Keep your chin up, keep smiling and then someone will see that smile. :p

    My date has basically not bothered to contact me at all. Tried messaging her over MSF earlier in the week but nothing. :( Looks like I'll be back to doing another messaging spree again!

    Ah thanks hotmat. Ah well at least you tried with that girl, but as we said maybe she wasn't even ready for it. Maybe OKCupid would work for you as everyone who is on seems to be in London?
    Hi everyone! Not much to report from me really. Talking to 2 ok ones on Match and just the 1 on POF now. Not heard anymore from Mr-I'm-too-ill-to-meet-you (suprised....not!) :p

    Hope everyone has a good weekend. E-Harmony is free now til Tuesday so I might have a look on there!

    See why did he make arrangements only to back out? I know he could have really been ill, but as you've said he's not even been in touch, so it's highly doubtful he was ill.

    It's good you're chatting with people, that's a good start. Hope to have some good news from you soon :)
  • hotmat3khotmat3k Posts: 1,496
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    grotbags1 wrote: »
    Ah thanks hotmat. Ah well at least you tried with that girl, but as we said maybe she wasn't even ready for it. Maybe OKCupid would work for you as everyone who is on seems to be in London?
    Maybe. I'm going to rule her out, but as we said; I was just too much for her too soon. I don't exactly do anything by halves :p.

    I may try OKCupid over the weekend (or Sunday the earliest!). I'm off out with the company tonight at a club/bar type place and then will probably be hungover and down a pub in Kings Cross watching the rugby tomorrow. :D
  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] Posts: 1,324
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    hotmat3k wrote: »
    Maybe. I'm going to rule her out, but as we said; I was just too much for her too soon. I don't exactly do anything by halves :p.

    I may try OKCupid over the weekend (or Sunday the earliest!). I'm off out with the company tonight at a club/bar type place and then will probably be hungover and down a pub in Kings Cross watching the rugby tomorrow. :D

    Sounds like you have a good weekend planned, enjoy!
  • Xela MXela M Posts: 4,710
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    I'm on OKcupid :o
  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] Posts: 1,324
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    Xela M wrote: »
    I'm on OKcupid :o

    Nothing wrong with that Xela!

    I just couldn't fathom out how I only saw people from the North West and I've a feeling it's more widely used down south and has not taken off up here like POF has.
  • ShappyShappy Posts: 14,531
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    hotmat3k wrote: »
    Same to you grotbags! Seems like some of the sites have very poor search engines behind them. Keep your chin up, keep smiling and then someone will see that smile. :p

    My date has basically not bothered to contact me at all. Tried messaging her over MSF earlier in the week but nothing. :( Looks like I'll be back to doing another messaging spree again!

    You're so positive, it's great! The girl may have been a bit unsure as she had just started internet dating. Some people are really wary of it in the beginning and cautious.
    hotmat3k wrote: »
    I may try OKCupid over the weekend (or Sunday the earliest!). I'm off out with the company tonight at a club/bar type place and then will probably be hungover and down a pub in Kings Cross watching the rugby tomorrow. :D

    Good for you!
    Xela M wrote: »
    I'm on OKcupid :o

    Did you join recently? I remember earlier in the thread you said you weren't sure about internet dating.
    Hi everyone! Not much to report from me really. Talking to 2 ok ones on Match and just the 1 on POF now. Not heard anymore from Mr-I'm-too-ill-to-meet-you (suprised....not!) :p

    These "ill" people are so rude. Don't know why people make plans in the first place if they then have to back out with such a flimsy excuse.
  • ShappyShappy Posts: 14,531
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    I've done no online dating related stuff since that last disaster of a date (with the Physicist who didn't ask me any questions). My subscription is just wasting.

    I've been trying to be more social but never meet single men who are interested. Three different friends cancelled on me today for plans we had today/next week.

    Plus, I found out 3 girls at work are pregnant. One is only 26, and another is 32 but it's her second baby. The girl that told me was going on about how broody she is (she's also had one kid already and is younger than me). I know I shouldn't compare other people's life to mine but it's hard. I will be 34 in the summer. :(

    Oh dear, am giving off desperate vibes. :cry:
  • hotmat3khotmat3k Posts: 1,496
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    Shappy wrote: »
    I've done no online dating related stuff since that last disaster of a date (with the Physicist who didn't ask me any questions). My subscription is just wasting.

    I've been trying to be more social but never meet single men who are interested. Three different friends cancelled on me today for plans we had today/next week.

    Plus, I found out 3 girls at work are pregnant. One is only 26, and another is 32 but it's her second baby. The girl that told me was going on about how broody she is (she's also had one kid already and is younger than me). I know I shouldn't compare other people's life to mine but it's hard. I will be 34 in the summer. :(

    Oh dear, am giving off desperate vibes. :cry:
    Oh don't! *hugs* I feel a little guilty spurting my positivity everywhere and it doesn't help so I'll apologise to anyone who wants a ear to listen to rather than a show-offy person routing around the thread. :o

    It will happen to you. Obviously the girls at work you talk about having babies are different stages of their lives. But at what cost? They may of sacraficed a lot and could unhappy under all the hysteria of having a baby and having a partner. I do question some relationships sometimes because things don't always add up.

    As I said to grots, keep the chin up and smile :). You'll bump into your guy without knowing it. Please keep the online dating profile of yours open if you can. It's another door to find someone (and we all need at the moment). I know I've gone on 3 dates in 2 months, but I'd wish I'd find someone who just doesn't want to come along the ride and take advantage of me paying for stuff and not take me seriously. :( That's how I've felt so far.

    It's natural to want someone you can share with in life, so it's not desperate. Guys want positive women and to go online dating and try something different is great! Takes a lot to meet a stranger from just talking to them online. :)
  • ShappyShappy Posts: 14,531
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    Thank you so much hotmat3k! Please don't stop being positive - it really does cheer me up. I just like to have a moan online because I feel like I can't in real life (except to family or my best friend).

    My profile is still up but I never log on. I won't give up on it though.
  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] Posts: 310
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    I have a question for everyone.

    Would you say you're happy despite being single?

    The reason I ask is although I have a lot to be thankful for, and am happy at work etc, I find it hard to get really excited about anything. I.e. when I met someone recently I felt a whole new level of optimism, and felt alive for the first time in a long while. When that didn't work out, I'm back to just feeling a bit bored with life, nothing much to look forward to..

    Do you feel happy and alive being on your own?
  • Doctor_DonnaDoctor_Donna Posts: 825
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    grotbags1 wrote: »
    Ah thanks hotmat. Ah well at least you tried with that girl, but as we said maybe she wasn't even ready for it. Maybe OKCupid would work for you as everyone who is on seems to be in London?



    See why did he make arrangements only to back out? I know he could have really been ill, but as you've said he's not even been in touch, so it's highly doubtful he was ill.

    It's good you're chatting with people, that's a good start. Hope to have some good news from you soon :)

    Lol exactly, I'd rather he'd said 'sorry, my bottles gone' than said he was ill :confused:

    I'm convinced I get all the time wasters! :)
  • Doctor_DonnaDoctor_Donna Posts: 825
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    Jimbo99 wrote: »
    I have a question for everyone.

    Would you say you're happy despite being single?

    The reason I ask is although I have a lot to be thankful for, and am happy at work etc, I find it hard to get really excited about anything. I.e. when I met someone recently I felt a whole new level of optimism, and felt alive for the first time in a long while. When that didn't work out, I'm back to just feeling a bit bored with life, nothing much to look forward to..

    Do you feel happy and alive being on your own?

    Not really. I miss having someone to go out with and to weddings etc. Mind you I'm used to being on my own and I've kind of accepted I always will be, so I'll have to get on with it :)
  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] Posts: 1,324
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    Jimbo99 wrote: »
    I have a question for everyone.

    Would you say you're happy despite being single?

    The reason I ask is although I have a lot to be thankful for, and am happy at work etc, I find it hard to get really excited about anything. I.e. when I met someone recently I felt a whole new level of optimism, and felt alive for the first time in a long while. When that didn't work out, I'm back to just feeling a bit bored with life, nothing much to look forward to..

    Do you feel happy and alive being on your own?

    I'm not especially happy despite being single. It's mostly because I'm bored, bored with work, bored with home life.

    I was mostly single in my 20's but it wasn't an issue then as I had a social life. I do sort of have one now, I go round to my friends every two to three weeks, but it's not the same as it was back in the day.

    I need to do something to make my life better, but I don't know what it is and I just procrastinate about everything.

    I definitely feel more optimistic when there's a possibility of a date on the horizon as it's something to look forward to.

    Now I'm single (single income) I'm not half as flush as I used to be and really have to watch what I'm spending, so it's not like I can afford to do much either.

    I know there are couples who aren't happy either but they stay together for the kids or are too scared to make the move to split. I made the decision, it was really hard for a while, and I often wondered if I did the right thing. So although I'm not 100% happy, I know it's better than going through the motions with someone I wasn't happy with either.
  • Xela MXela M Posts: 4,710
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    Being single (although we all know it blows :mad: ) is definitely better than being with someone who makes you unhappy. I felt relief above all after I left my husband and his whole horrid family. Even though it's hard being on your own, at least you don't get some lazy so and so telling you what to do :rolleyes: I have this weird quality that I love the idea of being in love, so I fall in (and out) of "love" very quickly. I have a fantasy in my head of how things should be and usually get disappointed.
  • Xela MXela M Posts: 4,710
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    Shappy wrote: »
    Did you join recently? I remember earlier in the thread you said you weren't sure about internet dating.

    Naw, I've been on OkCupid for awhile, but I hardly ever log on and I get a bit overwhelmed with all the matches/messages. It appears like such hard work to go through them all :( It's more like a job in itself
  • tghe-retfordtghe-retford Posts: 26,449
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    Jimbo99 wrote: »
    I have a question for everyone.

    Would you say you're happy despite being single?

    The reason I ask is although I have a lot to be thankful for, and am happy at work etc, I find it hard to get really excited about anything. I.e. when I met someone recently I felt a whole new level of optimism, and felt alive for the first time in a long while. When that didn't work out, I'm back to just feeling a bit bored with life, nothing much to look forward to..

    Do you feel happy and alive being on your own?
    Should declare that I am not on any dating website, but should still be qualified to answer that question.

    I actually prefer being single, as things stand and as experience tells me. I found the dating websites and dating to be futile, expensive and in general, a waste of my time. A negative experience filled with time-wasters, scammers and disappointment, although I did gain the odd friend or two doing so. I also have eccentric interests and hobbies which mostly are populated by men. As well as all that, I, at the age of 29, have become effectively the "last one standing" in the group of people I know, the majority of people are now in long term relationships, have kids and mostly married. Those whom are single either have issues (ie. baggage/red flags) and are still in love with an unobtainable entity (ie. an ex), don't want a relationship - ever or are gay men.

    I actually feel more content and happy being alone however and that's probably down to me being naturally a reclusive individual whom finds social events and gatherings exhausting, not to mention has been diagnosed with social anxiety. That stems back from a number of serious events which impacted my life as a child through to young adulthood - bullying all the way through school, parents divorcing and being passed around like a pawn, Dad working long hours and overtime and being made homeless the second I finished school have cemented in me an independent streak where I have had to, with the help of charity and up to a decades worth of therapy, stand on my own two feet from an early age and gain a maturity and level head far before my peers have done. Independence and solitude came naturally to me even before adulthood.

    The things I do in life make me happy and I wouldn't wish to change those things. I won't close the door to the idea of a relationship, or even dating sites again if the problem of time-wasting, expense of dating and meeting people from the local area was resolved. However, if I were to remain single for the rest of my life, it would not be a tragic loss, I wouldn't mourn.
  • saffron_starsaffron_star Posts: 789
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    Jimbo99 wrote: »
    I have a question for everyone.

    Would you say you're happy despite being single?

    The reason I ask is although I have a lot to be thankful for, and am happy at work etc, I find it hard to get really excited about anything. I.e. when I met someone recently I felt a whole new level of optimism, and felt alive for the first time in a long while. When that didn't work out, I'm back to just feeling a bit bored with life, nothing much to look forward to..

    Do you feel happy and alive being on your own?

    Ooh tricky but very good question. I think about this a lot.
    I am much happier now than with my ex who had an affair. Had 6 years on my own after that and was very content with life.
    I would love to think that I could find someone lovely to be with but he would have to pretty good to persuade me into a full on and full time relationship.
    Dating is so much fun though! Am enjoying the excitement of meeting new people and the possibilities of who you may end up getting to know.
    Although as the only message I've had from POF was from a 52 year old this week (10 years older than me :eek:) not sure I'll be finding him this weekend!!
  • hotmat3khotmat3k Posts: 1,496
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    I'm personally very happy being single, but there are moments where I think; I wish I could share this moment or just want to be able to talk to someone who I know won't judge what I say. Friends are always different in that regard sometimes.

    Managed to have a good time last night and ended up in a bar north of London with some work colleagues who I normally wouldn't hang around. They were really good fun and managed to get a number from a girl I only spent 5 minutes chatting to as I bumped into her whilst dancing. She had to go, so asked as I could see she was enjoying my company :). She put in the number quite quickly, so not sure if it's genuine or not. Found out she works as a theatre nurse in East London. I initially thought she was a colleague I'd never spoken to before! Bit embarrassing to start with!

    May give her a text later on. Got to go through all this cycle of the text game again :p.
  • Xela MXela M Posts: 4,710
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    I guess I'm in a slightly different boat, as I already have a kid and she makes me very happy. However, on the other hand, it makes finding a man that much harder. I also get jealous of my single friends who can just fly to Cuba for a few weeks or take a year out to go travelling around the world. Maybe that's something grotbags1 you should consider. Change of scenery.
  • ShappyShappy Posts: 14,531
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    Jimbo99 wrote: »
    Do you feel happy and alive being on your own?

    I'm not sure, and as someone else said, this is a really interesting question.

    When I was in my late 20s, a lot of my friends got married so it was one wedding after another. Now they're all at the stage where they have a baby and a toddler, so they're very busy and I rarely get to see them. So I feel like I have to go out and make a whole new set of friends, which I find a real challenge. Most people I meet now are in their 20s and at the party stage of their life (which I'm past) or they're much older (in their 40s). I do have friends of different ages, and I have nothing against having much older/younger friends, but ideally what I'd like is to have a group of friends who I feel like are my peers. Unfortunately they're the baby lot.

    Anyway, the point is, I think I would be happy in my single life if I had a group of good friends who I saw regularly. When my friends cancelled on me yesterday, I just had a weekend of being on my own to look forward to. I feel like if I had a partner, I wouldn't mind so much as I'd just have a cosy night in with him watching mindless TV.

    All in all, it's the loneliness that gets to me. Having intimate emotional contact with someone on a daily basis. My family are lovely and so are the good friends I see occasionally, but it's just not the same.
  • abbieuniqueabbieunique Posts: 4,223
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    Anyone tried city socialising as a way of meeting new people friends etc?
    I have joined but yet to go to a meet up, weirdly I find it more nerve wracking turning up on my own to casually meet a group of random people, than going on a date with a stranger.
  • caz06caz06 Posts: 848
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    i'm a young 21 year old, and honestly, most of my so called friends i never see anymore because they have settled down already in relationships at the same age as me if not a bit younger, some have had kids and some are even getting married, but when i compare myself to them, i feel both slighly jealous that they seem to have the perfect life/partner, but also proud that i've not gone deliberatly looking for the same thing "just because everone else has it" , i joined online dating because i just wanted to see if i could find someone i could share some good times and memories with that mean a little bit more than friends, but to anyone who feels lonely and left out because your the only one out of the people you know that are single, then please don't because good things come to those who wait, and whilst others may have their perfect partner and life, then your time will come :D

    i just felt like giving some friendly advice this evening because i myself am loosing faith after being let down yet again! today :( , so the advice above i can also relate too :)
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