Birthday advice

Paul254 · 29/04/14 - 22:59

I'm 29 on Saturday, my mum is off for the day and wants to take me bowling or something. I agreed earlier, but been thinking about it and been worried about it because I think it's a bit sad going bowling with your mum at my age. I am working Saturday night so can't really do much, and was just thinking it would be normal ish day and I would see some mates or something.

I will feel bad saying no and seeing mates, but if my mates suggest something I don't want to be laughed at if I go bowling with my mum instead.

I just feel a bit worked up as well because if we go, I will feel like people will think there's something wrong with me to still be going bowling with my mum.

Just wanted to know what other people thought about this.....

Rich Tea. · 29/04/14 - 23:21

Go with your mum. She's more important than your mates....at any age! ;-)

oldcrakpot · 29/04/14 - 23:29

Go with your mother I bet she is looking forward to a night out as for feeling awkward so what is it that's odd to live with your mum at 29

Paul254 · 29/04/14 - 23:36

I don't really know why I am worrying about it really...just thought of it as another day really and I happened to be turning 29. I also didn't start the whole going out with mates thing until I was in my 20s as people in school saw me as different...first thing that worked me up is that I am still at home and it made me feel like I have got nowhere really.

Relly · 29/04/14 - 23:43

29 is a good age to be thinking of it as your mum wanting your company as a friend, rather than "taking you bowling" like she'd do when you were young. So, whilst it's her treat for your birthday, it may be that she isn't thinking of it as in a teen-vs-mum type of way.

Does bowling finish really late nowadays? I only ask because maybe if it's over by 10pm you could arrange to go for a drink with mates after, if it crops up? If it's an afternoon thing, it'll be well over by evening, will it?

If you don't arrange anything with mates and they ask what you did, just tell them you gave your mum your time because it's been years since she got to spend time with you like this on your birthday.

I had a similar situation earlier this year, but I'm not suggesting this is what your mum's doing. Basically, I had a feeling one of my lads would be on his own on Valentine's Day and he'd been a little sensitive about it, so I asked him if he'd keep me company unless he had anything else planned, even if someone asked him out last minute. He was completely happy with it, and we got a Chinese takeaway in and had a couple of glasses of wine. He'd told his mates he was treating his old mum to a takeaway because he loves her. Which is true!

(Edit: He's 26, by the way.)

Paul254 · 29/04/14 - 23:57

Actually, you know what, now I have thought it through a bit more and if you put my age aside, it's a day for us both....for me it's the day I was born and for her it's the day she gave birth to her first child. I don't do much with my mum and we will both enjoy it so it's perfect time to do it. Despite tough times, I am happy to have my life, and the person who gave me my life wants to do something for my birthday there's nothing wrong as I will be giving some of my time for her.

TheGreatKatsby · 29/04/14 - 23:59

I agree with the others: go bowling with your mum and if you want to you can always meet your mates afterward. There's nothing weird about spending time with your mum, and if anyone thinks there is then they're the weird one!

Hope you enjoy your birthday

Relly · 30/04/14 - 00:07

Paul254 wrote: »

Actually, you know what, now I have thought it through a bit more and if you put my age aside, it's a day for us both....for me it's the day I was born and for her it's the day she gave birth to her first child. I don't do much with my mum and we will both enjoy it so it's perfect time to do it. Despite tough times, I am happy to have my life, and the person who gave me my life wants to do something for my birthday there's nothing wrong as I will be giving some of my time for her.

Excellent!!

Great outlook, and if you were one of my lads and I heard that, I'd be very happy with him.

Plus, it shows any mates you tell how much you value your mum, and there's nowt wrong with that at all.

Have a lovely time, and a great birthday. x

Paul254 · 30/04/14 - 00:10

Relly wrote: »

29 is a good age to be thinking of it as your mum wanting your company as a friend, rather than "taking you bowling" like she'd do when you were young. So, whilst it's her treat for your birthday, it may be that she isn't thinking of it as in a teen-vs-mum type of way.

Does bowling finish really late nowadays? I only ask because maybe if it's over by 10pm you could arrange to go for a drink with mates after, if it crops up? If it's an afternoon thing, it'll be well over by evening, will it?

If you don't arrange anything with mates and they ask what you did, just tell them you gave your mum your time because it's been years since she got to spend time with you like this on your birthday.

I had a similar situation earlier this year, but I'm not suggesting this is what your mum's doing. Basically, I had a feeling one of my lads would be on his own on Valentine's Day and he'd been a little sensitive about it, so I asked him if he'd keep me company unless he had anything else planned, even if someone asked him out last minute. He was completely happy with it, and we got a Chinese takeaway in and had a couple of glasses of wine. He'd told his mates he was treating his old mum to a takeaway because he loves her. Which is true! (Edit: He's 26, by the way.)

It has been a while since we spent time together on my birthday as we both used to work as manager/supervisor in a newsagent so covered each other., and last few years one of us has been working. Worrying about it is just me being me really. I think it's a great idea now I thought about it. As I just thought to myself if the biggest thing I can worry about is my mum wanting to go bowling with me then I should get a grip really haha.

Rich Tea. · 30/04/14 - 00:11

Paul254 wrote: »

Actually, you know what, now I have thought it through a bit more and if you put my age aside, it's a day for us both....for me it's the day I was born and for her it's the day she gave birth to her first child. I don't do much with my mum and we will both enjoy it so it's perfect time to do it. Despite tough times, I am happy to have my life, and the person who gave me my life wants to do something for my birthday there's nothing wrong as I will be giving some of my time for her.

Very nicely put. Happy Birthday.

Your birthday No1 song was Move Closer, by Phyllis Nelson. I bought it that week! :cool:

Paul254 · 30/04/14 - 00:15

Also, I am working overnight on my birthday night, and I get on really well with the manager I am with and some of the staff, so whilst it won't be a day with my mates like others might have, I am still spending it with people that mean something. I can still do something with my best mate in next few weeks.

Fibromite59 · 30/04/14 - 00:20

Hope you have a great birthday.

My son is nearly the same age as you and we often go bowling or to the cinema or a show together, we really enjoy each other's company and neither of us could care less what anyone else thinks. It's not their business anyway.

Olls~ · 30/04/14 - 02:58

Happy birthday for Saturday

Mumof3 · 30/04/14 - 04:47

Wisdom at 29. Your mum will be proud. Have fun OP.

Paul254 · 30/04/14 - 20:18

Thanks everyone

going bowling with mum sat afternoon and Chinese takeaway sat night

Frankie_Little · 30/04/14 - 23:33

Sounds good to me, enjoy your birthday!!

VioletSummers · 01/05/14 - 15:29

Paul254 wrote: »

Actually, you know what, now I have thought it through a bit more and if you put my age aside, it's a day for us both....for me it's the day I was born and for her it's the day she gave birth to her first child. I don't do much with my mum and we will both enjoy it so it's perfect time to do it. Despite tough times, I am happy to have my life, and the person who gave me my life wants to do something for my birthday there's nothing wrong as I will be giving some of my time for her.

What a lovely way to think of it!
Have a brilliant time

jojo01 · 01/05/14 - 18:59

I love a happy thread

Have a great birthday OP.

Funk You · 01/05/14 - 19:03

Paul254 wrote: »

I'm 29 on Saturday, my mum is off for the day and wants to take me bowling or something. I agreed earlier, but been thinking about it and been worried about it because I think it's a bit sad going bowling with your mum at my age. I am working Saturday night so can't really do much, and was just thinking it would be normal ish day and I would see some mates or something.

I will feel bad saying no and seeing mates, but if my mates suggest something I don't want to be laughed at if I go bowling with my mum instead.

I just feel a bit worked up as well because if we go, I will feel like people will think there's something wrong with me to still be going bowling with my mum.

Just wanted to know what other people thought about this.....

Happy birthday for Saturday, its mine today

I spent it with my parents, and on Saturday Im going out on the piss with my mates. Try it like that maybe? delegate some time for your mum to be with you and some time for your mates.

Paul254 · 03/05/14 - 20:54

Thanks everyone, was a great day

Hey there!

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