Lets look at facts .The OP showed concern for a 17 year old meeting a 25 year old man in a strange country .
As a Mum and a friend I too would show concern . I never heard her infer there was something wrong with a 25 year old , I heard concern that he was practically a stranger in a strange country .
Lets look at facts .The OP showed concern for a 17 year old meeting a 25 year old man in a strange country .
As a Mum and a friend I too would show concern . I never heard her infer there was something wrong with a 25 year old , I heard concern that he was practically a stranger in a strange country .
I beg to differ PinkPetunia.
Here are a selection of comments from the OP. There is clear concern for the age difference. She imparts her worries to her son, then wants to speak to the boyfriend on the phone, she is not helpful funding the trip, and judges "communicating online for months but that and one actual meeting does not a relationship make!"
Apparently this guy wants to speak to me, so I told my son to pass on my number. Still waiting...
I have no idea how my son intends to fund this trip..I'm certainly not! I have said to him 2 weeks is an awfully long time to spend with a virtual stranger..yes they've apparently being communicating online for months but that and one actual meeting does not a relationship make!
So..it looks like the panic is over and my son has changed his mind about this guy. Seems he's been mulling over my concerns for a couple of days and has decided against travelling to Ireland.
Strange as in not familiar ? As in stranger ? Maybe we are at cross purposes but here in Ireland we say strange as in not familiar or unaccastomed , As well strange as in odd .!!
Though at times we can be odd too !!:D
Here are a selection of comments from the OP. There is clear concern for the age difference. She imparts her worries to her son, then wants to speak to the boyfriend on the phone, she is not helpful funding the trip, and judges "communicating online for months but that and one actual meeting does not a relationship make!"
Did you read the thread PinkPetunia?
Yes, I read it orange .I see nothing as you see it .I see a concerned Mum .You can quote the whole post of you wish I still see a concerned Mum . Nothing more , just concern and care and wanting the best fr her son .
Yes, I read it orange .I see nothing as you see it .I see a concerned Mum .You can quote the whole post of you wish I still see a concerned Mum . Nothing more , just concern and care and wanting the best fr her son .
PinkPetunia you see it your way, but the evidence is clear to see.
That's my opinion as I see it. The OP's son was all for exploring his sexuality, then the OP stepped in and it all changed.
Er no, this is entirely your own imagining & nothing to do with what the OP actually wrote.
I don't see being gay as a choice anyone would make if they had a choice (not that one can choose). I don't know anyone who would choose it. Do you? Why would they?
I think that's a very negative attitude & I don't think its at all representative of gay people in general.
Bisexuals have the choice of which type of relationship to be in & many choose a homosexual one.
You say "you wouldn't mind in the slightest" - well good for you! I wish more people held that view. I do believe though, that while you don't mind in the slightest - the gay person may, and would consider choosing otherwise if they could. Since they can't then discrimination is just that.
I don't agree that the majority of gay people would choose heterosexuality if they could, that's certainly not true of the people I know.
Some started off in straight relationships & chose gay relationships in which they were much happier.
Wake up 17 in 2013 is not the same as 17 in 1950. Do you know how much porn a teenager watches daily? How many conversations about sex they have on line ? The internet provides all the information any teenager would want to know about with videos too boot.
17 year olds think they know everything about the world when really they know f- all, I know this because I've been 17.
It's very naive to think that watching porn has any relevance to real life. If anything it gives people a very screwy idea of what real sex & relationships are going to be like.
Here are a selection of comments from the OP. There is clear concern for the age difference. She imparts her worries to her son, then wants to speak to the boyfriend on the phone, she is not helpful funding the trip, and judges "communicating online for months but that and one actual meeting does not a relationship make!"
Hi cjs I am so glad things have sorted themselves out. As I have said in previous threads my daughter went out with 2 guys in their 40's when she was a teenager. Thankfully for me she had met one of them through friends and the other was a neighbour of hers. We met them and got to know them well too. It would have been completely different though had she met someone online then wanted to travel to another country to stay with them at their house for a fortnight. I can't say I would have been so understanding in those circumstances. Its funny bur regardless how old they are we still worry ourselves sick over them, . Not surprised to see the Trolls came out to play, had to happen. :yawn:
cjsmummy, good on you. I'd say you've definitely approached this in the best possible way you can.
I'm 21, and am going abroad for the first time in seven years this year - it's the first time by myself too. I'll be off to Portugal in May and New York in September. Despite my age, my Mum at least likes to know the vague details of what I'm doing, and it's in my opinion, simply the sign of a good and responsible parent. My Mum simply asks where I am if I'm ever away from home, and she may occasionally ask who I'm with...out of curiosity I think, as she thinks highly of quite a few of my friends. The fact your son was open and honest about his plans was a good sign, and the fact he opened up to you about this guy is an invitation for you to be curious, and ask the questions that a parent feels inclined to ask.
Comments
I understand you, you are failing to explain what you are disagreeing with. I have bolded the bit where you disagree.
What are you disagreeing with? What don't you believe?
@academia I agree, but I never said to the contrary.
Why is Ireland a "strange country"?
I beg to differ PinkPetunia.
Here are a selection of comments from the OP. There is clear concern for the age difference. She imparts her worries to her son, then wants to speak to the boyfriend on the phone, she is not helpful funding the trip, and judges "communicating online for months but that and one actual meeting does not a relationship make!"
Did you read the thread PinkPetunia?
I don't believe that most gay men you know have mothers who are as you describe.
I don't think, even if it were true, that it has any relevance.
Strange as in not familiar ? As in stranger ? Maybe we are at cross purposes but here in Ireland we say strange as in not familiar or unaccastomed , As well strange as in odd .!!
Though at times we can be odd too !!:D
Ah.. so you did understand. You were just pretending not to.
My comment is an observation from my own experiences of all the gay men I know and met. I saw it again here and mentioned it. That makes it relevant.
Why did you pretend not to understand?
Yes, I read it orange .I see nothing as you see it .I see a concerned Mum .You can quote the whole post of you wish I still see a concerned Mum . Nothing more , just concern and care and wanting the best fr her son .
PinkPetunia you see it your way, but the evidence is clear to see.
Yeh , whatever .I cant be arsed now really to be honest .Just because you keep repeating yourself doesnt make you all knowing
what
I think that's a very negative attitude & I don't think its at all representative of gay people in general.
Bisexuals have the choice of which type of relationship to be in & many choose a homosexual one.
I don't agree that the majority of gay people would choose heterosexuality if they could, that's certainly not true of the people I know.
Some started off in straight relationships & chose gay relationships in which they were much happier.
17 year olds think they know everything about the world when really they know f- all, I know this because I've been 17.
It's very naive to think that watching porn has any relevance to real life. If anything it gives people a very screwy idea of what real sex & relationships are going to be like.
Cool editing there..what is your problem?
I asked what the hell it had to do with anything.
Why are you reading words that aren't there?
Don't bite. I'm trying not to:)
It's a waste of our time, isn't it? I never understand what people get out of behaving like that.
Just ignore him, he has a history of coming into threads to argue and get everyone's backs up.;)
I wonder why ? People like that must need to free up some deep set anger or something .
I gave advice and made observations contrary to your views. If you don't like it don't take it. It's your life, it doesn't effect me whatsoever.
From the raw nerve I have hit, maybe you may now reconsider your instinctive reactions for more constructive ones. I doubt it though.
Good luck.
That's interesting. Not many people are as introspective and honest.
I'm 21, and am going abroad for the first time in seven years this year - it's the first time by myself too. I'll be off to Portugal in May and New York in September. Despite my age, my Mum at least likes to know the vague details of what I'm doing, and it's in my opinion, simply the sign of a good and responsible parent. My Mum simply asks where I am if I'm ever away from home, and she may occasionally ask who I'm with...out of curiosity I think, as she thinks highly of quite a few of my friends. The fact your son was open and honest about his plans was a good sign, and the fact he opened up to you about this guy is an invitation for you to be curious, and ask the questions that a parent feels inclined to ask.