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Long Distance Relationships
youngswede
Posts: 2,294 Forum Member
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I have been in a relationship for about 2.5 years and for nearly the last 2 it has been long distance since i moved here for work reasons and she could not because she is studying.
But we have got through it thanks to Skype and cheap air travel
and I move back in May.
I am interested in asking people who have been in Long distance relationships, Or are now, and how you keep the relationship alive during it.
And thoughts and opinions from anyone else are also welcome.
But we have got through it thanks to Skype and cheap air travel
and I move back in May.I am interested in asking people who have been in Long distance relationships, Or are now, and how you keep the relationship alive during it.
And thoughts and opinions from anyone else are also welcome.
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Luckily there is a lot of trust involved, and we love each other very much. Not being with him really makes me value what we have, and I know he is the one I want to spend the rest of my life with. ♥
1. The strength of the relationship
2. The needs of the people involved.
3. Maturity
I had a long distance relationship for a couple years that worked out. It helped that prior to our long distance arrangement we had already been together for more than a year and had become intimate. Despite the difficulties we were able to look at the long term picture and put our short term needs aside.
Why not move out one day and tell her you will be back in a couple of months? It'll keep things fresh;)
Did you tell her how long?? Maybe if the distance was long enough, she'd be excited about it?
I have just split up with my boyfriend after we faced a lot of difficulties due to the distance.
I was with my boyfriend for three years. I am working aborad just now for a year, and my now ex is working full time in a supermarket, despite having a Masters at home. I have changed so much since working aborad, I've grown up alot and had to deal with lots of new things.
It felt like everything was changing for me, and nothing was changing for him. We communicated through emails/skype/msn, but the time difference was a major factor, it was difficult to catch each other without someone either staying up really late or getting up reallly early.
We rarely argued before I came here, he was very supportive of me working abroad, but he was a bit resentful as I walked straight into this job from graduating, whereas he has struggled to find any work. I kept asking him if he was sure he was ok with me going away to work and he encouraged me to go for it, so I did. Then when I got here he kept saying I should come home, but I really do love my job here and I have worked hard and I want to at least finish my year away.
Things just fizzled out, nothing was the same and it just got to the stage where I didn't even care whether I spoke to him or not on skype or whether he was on msn. I realised that basically everything in my life has changed, and his is exactly the same as it was a year ago. His lack of motivation to find something bugged me, and he would just complain about work etc when we were talking on skype/msn.
I knew it was time to end it. It was a really difficult decision to make as I was with him for three years and we were very close and we have a lot of friends in common, so I've probably lost some mutual friends just purely because I'm not there.
I admire anyone who has been able to make a long distance realtionship work! I honestly don't know how you manage it.
I'm only in Scotland and my girlfriend is in Ireland (mah home). I've known her since 07 and I was going out with someone for most of the time we knew each other but we always got on great. A few months before I was due to leave for Scotland we started smoochin and that but I knew that I was going so I didn't want to get into a relationship with someone (mainly for the reason that I was in a long distance relationship when I started college and that was complete torture). But we got closer and closer before I left.
I did leave a year ago and she came to see me after a month or two. We got drunk and then she asked what the story was. We decided to start going out and see how it went and I let her know that I did not like long distance relationships at all !!!
Its been brillaint since. Nearly a year going out and its great. We try to see each other as much as possible. We usually see each other once a month (like we're not a million miles away from each other and ryanair does cheap deals).
In my opinion it all depend on the people.
We lived about 200 miles apart, and would meet up in person every couple of months for a long weekend, which was about all we could afford. As well as visiting our hometowns, we had trips to London, Chester etc.
Obviously we communicated by phone, but we both loved to receive letters, so hand writing a letter to each other was done practically every week. Wouldn't be the same nowadays with email!
In the end it didn't work out, partly down to the fact that neither of us wanted to move.
Then I met my present husband and that was the end of that!!!! We've been together 37 years and he spent a couple of years in the middle east, only coming home every 6 months! His normal work back in the UK would take him away from home for a week or so at a time.
Now we've retired to Spain, much as I love him, I love it when he disappears off for the day and I can have my own space
(I can spend hours on here for one thing
Him? You're single and straight
I don't believe in the 'long distance doesn't work' theory. When a short distance relationship is forced long distance, it's probably doomed, but if it starts long distance and stays that way it works a lot better.
Why should any of that stop her having a boyfriend?
Trans-continent long distance relationships have the added burden of one of the biggest evils on this world called Immigration. This is even more against you if you happen to be in a same sex relationship.
To me, a long distance relationship is having a carrot stick waved infront of you when youre sat talking on messenger or on the phone. The conversation is full of "If I was there.." "If you was here...". Then the added strain wondering what theyre doing, and worry that if someone more local to them would come along then you'd be dropped faster than a sack of spuds. What a waste of life, If youre together, you should be together rather wishing your life away counting down the days, hours and minutes until their train is due to pull up into the station.
If there is a definite light at the end of the tunnel, then by all means. Its do-able. But these online dates where you kinda get together and just meet are just an utter waste of time.
Personally I want my partner to be there when I need her, and more importantly I want to be there when she needs me. I like to have a reason to bother going home after work.
It doesn't have to be a long distance relationship for all that shit 'n' worries to go down ya know !