We had our names put on our mother's bank account shortly after Dad died. There was no problem accessing it after her death.
Even if you hadn't had the name on the account you could still prove that you're a direct/legitamate relative - not always so easy if you are not related - especially if there are living blood relatives (who may have had nothing to do with the deceased) contesting. The law is very rigid and sometimes common sense doesn't enter into it.
Even if you hadn't had the name on the account you could still prove that you're a direct/legitamate relative - not always so easy if you are not related - especially if there are living blood relatives (who may have had nothing to do with the deceased) contesting. The law is very rigid and sometimes common sense doesn't enter into it.
I don't disagree, but it's much easier if your names are on the account/s in question. Personally I don't have ID so anything requiring that means jumping through hoops, while getting names added while my mother was alive involved one visit to town. She also willed me the house (which I'd paid for but didn't own) as otherwise my siblings would be entitled to a share by law and I didn't entirely trust one of them.
There's enough to deal with during bereavement without tying up as much as you can beforehand, circumstances permitting.
I lived with my ex partner and was thankful that we weren't married when it was over. I'm glad to be married now but that's because I found the right one. Unfortunately too many women marry frogs instead of princes .:)
The only reasons to get married is the law is on your side in case of split and death.
In case of split there's a settlement. If you are in a long term relationship, are unmarried and split after 10 years, no settlement. If married for 10 years there's a settlement. Either scrap settlements all together or make it so that long term partners and long term marriages have settlements.
In terms of death, the spouse is made automatic next of kin, so the if there's no will the spouse gets everything and can do as they please with it, regardless of the deceased's wishes.
I am completely against marriage and will never marry.
If I am going to spend the rest of my life with then I may as well get married. It doesn't bother me if I don't but he wants to and it will make life easier as for some reason he won't write a will but believes that his family who are officially his next of kin would consult me and would give me his share of our flat. Something that I don't feel comfortable about, I don't want to have to fight for the right to live in my own home or have to rely on someone else to see the right thing to do especially where money is concerned.
Saying that we are planning on getting married next year anyway.
Please write a will and get your partner to write one too. I cannot stress the importance of it enough. With death, inheritance, money and property, you are right to have concerns. You can never just assume that your family would take care of it and do as you wanted you with estate. Death, inheritance and money brings out the money grabbers, jealousy, bitterness and give someone an inch of power and it goes straight to their head.
From personal experience, please write a will and get your partner to do the same. It will mean things won't get messy when it comes to sorting out the estate.
If you marry and he still doesn't make a will and he dies, you would receive all of the estate automatically (upto £250,000), the rest gets divided up as the state sees right.
Totally agree, it's such a waste of money. My first wedding what I really wanted was the ceremony with just us, our parents, two bridesmaids and siblings (which I did get) but then I wanted just those people to go for a Chinese in our favourite restaurant. Instead it spiralled into the full on two reception do with heaps of people I hardly knew, couldn't wait to get it over and done with!! I would just say to anyone getting married that it's your day and don't let yourself get pushed into anything.
Your ideal sounded great!
Last time we were at my favourite restaurant we saw a wedding party there so i know its possible to just book enough tables and have that as your reception!
My partner and i did make a list of people we would invite (my list was shockingly short) and the total list was ridiculous.
Personally id have a simple ceremony with just close family and friends and then a meal in the restaurant. After that maybe go into town with friends.
This sounds cheap but if we did it like that i know that my family would pay for their meals, my partners family would pay for theirs so it would only be our friends we would have to pay for.
The biggest advantage to that would be that we wouldnt have to suffer a disco surrounded by people we secretly dislike but had to invite!
This sounds cheap but if we did it like that i know that my family would pay for their meals, my partners family would pay for theirs so it would only be our friends we would have to pay for.
The biggest advantage to that would be that we wouldnt have to suffer a disco surrounded by people we secretly dislike but had to invite!
That sounds good to me, at least all the people you really want will be there and yes, the ones you feel you HAVE to invite would be avoided! I ended up with people I hadn't seen since I was about two and me and my husband of the time ended up many times asking eachother "Is he/she from your side or mine?" It was stupid!!
The only reasons to get married is the law is on your side in case of split and death.
In case of split there's a settlement. If you are in a long term relationship, are unmarried and split after 10 years, no settlement. If married for 10 years there's a settlement. Either scrap settlements all together or make it so that long term partners and long term marriages have settlements.
In terms of death, the spouse is made automatic next of kin, so the if there's no will the spouse gets everything and can do as they please with it, regardless of the deceased's wishes.
I am completely against marriage and will never marry.
Please write a will and get your partner to write one too. I cannot stress the importance of it enough. With death, inheritance, money and property, you are right to have concerns. You can never just assume that your family would take care of it and do as you wanted you with estate. Death, inheritance and money brings out the money grabbers, jealousy, bitterness and give someone an inch of power and it goes straight to their head.
From personal experience, please write a will and get your partner to do the same. It will mean things won't get messy when it comes to sorting out the estate.
If you marry and he still doesn't make a will and he dies, you would receive all of the estate automatically (upto £250,000), the rest gets divided up as the state sees right.
I would disagree that the reason in BIB is the only reason to get married.
I like being married - I like being the same name as my husband and the kids having the same name. We are a family - there's no explanations needed - we are the W family - husband, wife and children.
I will agree it's not for everyone but I guess I'm a bit of a traditionalist and that''l do for me. I know it's not the same for all 'vive la difference' I din't judge others who choose not to marry and I don't expect to be judged on the decision I made 37 years ago.
That sounds good to me, at least all the people you really want will be there and yes, the ones you feel you HAVE to invite would be avoided! I ended up with people I hadn't seen since I was about two and me and my husband of the time ended up many times asking eachother "Is he/she from your side or mine?" It was stupid!!
Exactly! Our list we made i had parents, sister and partner and grandparents (sadly now just two). My partners parents are seperated so he has a larger step family and four grandparents. We then had about 8 close friends.
But when it came to a list of evening people, i had to include aunts uncles and cousins i dont ever see or get on with, and my partner had almost double the amount. He then had basically everyone his nan knows who she would invite, all his dads neighbours who he felt obliged to invite and people he hadnt seen in years. In the end we decided we didnt want to pay thousands to entertain and feed people we didnt really like that much so left it there.
But if we could have a simple ceremony, nice meal and only invite those we want to, i think it would have been great!
I would disagree that the reason in BIB is the only reason to get married.
I like being married - I like being the same name as my husband and the kids having the same name. We are a family - there's no explanations needed - we are the W family - husband, wife and children.
I will agree it's not for everyone but I guess I'm a bit of a traditionalist and that''l do for me. I know it's not the same for all 'vive la difference' I din't judge others who choose not to marry and I don't expect to be judged on the decision I made 37 years ago.
For me it is because you can live with someone, buy a house together, have a family, change your name, have pets together, go on holiday together... you can do all those things unmarried. Marriage just gives security in terms of the law incase of split and death.
I don't begrudge anyone that does marry though, as it's my choice to never marry, just as it is someone else's choice to marry.
Not really. Who in their right mind would want to bother?
Well gay people for a start.
They made quite a big deal recently about their right to be able to get married, so presumably its something that they feel is still important and relevant even if most of the heterosexual population seem less bothered about it these days...
They made quite a big deal recently about their right to be able to get married, so presumably its something that they feel is still important and relevant even if most of the heterosexual population seem less bothered about it these days...
Just like (some) straight people wish to marry, some gay and lesbian people wish to marry. It's all about equal opportunities and rights. Before same sex marriage was put through, gay and lesbian people didn't have the choice of whether they wanted to marry or not as it was against the law. Now everyone can choose whether to marry or not.
I got married for the 2nd time (never thought I would again but I found someone who makes me feel like I should feel and treats me welt)
We got married in church and I love being married.
Its what you make it. I have a friend who comes from Saudi who thinks its just a contract. She sees nothing else other than that
So it is down to the person I think. Everyone is different and feels different at different stages in their life.
I know it's something that will never apply to me, but it's something I've really never seen the point of either and also something that I honesty feel is more for the woman's benefit than the man's - and yes I know how that sounds
I remember the day that a friend of mine rang me to tell me his partner of 10 years had told him completely out of the blue that she didn't love him any more and that she was leaving him. she'd apparently felt that way for some time as well and she was gone by the end of the day. it just kind of reinforced my view that if either partner decides they want to play away and/or leave then they will, and a piece of paper certainly won't stop them.
Just to add to whoever said that people use the excuse of not being able to afford the wedding because they want an extravagent do. Well just looked on our councils site and this year you have to pay £450 just for the registrar! I thought it would be less than £100 unless im reading it wrong.
Does that sound right to anyone whos been married? The venue opposite the registery office is only £298!
In terms of death, the spouse is made automatic next of kin, so the if there's no will the spouse gets everything and can do as they please with it, regardless of the deceased's wishes.
<snip>
If you marry and he still doesn't make a will and he dies, you would receive all of the estate automatically (upto £250,000), the rest gets divided up as the state sees right.
Yes, just to be clear, the surviving spouse's entitlement, the statutory legacy, is limited to £450k (£250k if there are children). With house prices the way they are, £250k isn't very much at all so definitely make a will.
Comments
Forgive me if I'm wrong but I'm pretty sure you've mentioned that you've been married in the past??
Also I remember a thread where you sat outside of a wedding (I think the kids weren't allowed??)....does that mean the company you keep isn't sane??
Let me get this straight, you are calling me a pleb because I do nto want to get married?
Even if you hadn't had the name on the account you could still prove that you're a direct/legitamate relative - not always so easy if you are not related - especially if there are living blood relatives (who may have had nothing to do with the deceased) contesting. The law is very rigid and sometimes common sense doesn't enter into it.
I think you are calling yourself a pleb
I don't disagree, but it's much easier if your names are on the account/s in question. Personally I don't have ID so anything requiring that means jumping through hoops, while getting names added while my mother was alive involved one visit to town. She also willed me the house (which I'd paid for but didn't own) as otherwise my siblings would be entitled to a share by law and I didn't entirely trust one of them.
There's enough to deal with during bereavement without tying up as much as you can beforehand, circumstances permitting.
I lived with my ex partner and was thankful that we weren't married when it was over. I'm glad to be married now but that's because I found the right one. Unfortunately too many women marry frogs instead of princes .:)
In case of split there's a settlement. If you are in a long term relationship, are unmarried and split after 10 years, no settlement. If married for 10 years there's a settlement. Either scrap settlements all together or make it so that long term partners and long term marriages have settlements.
In terms of death, the spouse is made automatic next of kin, so the if there's no will the spouse gets everything and can do as they please with it, regardless of the deceased's wishes.
I am completely against marriage and will never marry.
Please write a will and get your partner to write one too. I cannot stress the importance of it enough. With death, inheritance, money and property, you are right to have concerns. You can never just assume that your family would take care of it and do as you wanted you with estate. Death, inheritance and money brings out the money grabbers, jealousy, bitterness and give someone an inch of power and it goes straight to their head.
From personal experience, please write a will and get your partner to do the same. It will mean things won't get messy when it comes to sorting out the estate.
If you marry and he still doesn't make a will and he dies, you would receive all of the estate automatically (upto £250,000), the rest gets divided up as the state sees right.
In what way? How?
Your ideal sounded great!
Last time we were at my favourite restaurant we saw a wedding party there so i know its possible to just book enough tables and have that as your reception!
My partner and i did make a list of people we would invite (my list was shockingly short) and the total list was ridiculous.
Personally id have a simple ceremony with just close family and friends and then a meal in the restaurant. After that maybe go into town with friends.
This sounds cheap but if we did it like that i know that my family would pay for their meals, my partners family would pay for theirs so it would only be our friends we would have to pay for.
The biggest advantage to that would be that we wouldnt have to suffer a disco surrounded by people we secretly dislike but had to invite!
That sounds good to me, at least all the people you really want will be there and yes, the ones you feel you HAVE to invite would be avoided! I ended up with people I hadn't seen since I was about two and me and my husband of the time ended up many times asking eachother "Is he/she from your side or mine?" It was stupid!!
I would disagree that the reason in BIB is the only reason to get married.
I like being married - I like being the same name as my husband and the kids having the same name. We are a family - there's no explanations needed - we are the W family - husband, wife and children.
I will agree it's not for everyone but I guess I'm a bit of a traditionalist and that''l do for me. I know it's not the same for all 'vive la difference' I din't judge others who choose not to marry and I don't expect to be judged on the decision I made 37 years ago.
Exactly! Our list we made i had parents, sister and partner and grandparents (sadly now just two). My partners parents are seperated so he has a larger step family and four grandparents. We then had about 8 close friends.
But when it came to a list of evening people, i had to include aunts uncles and cousins i dont ever see or get on with, and my partner had almost double the amount. He then had basically everyone his nan knows who she would invite, all his dads neighbours who he felt obliged to invite and people he hadnt seen in years. In the end we decided we didnt want to pay thousands to entertain and feed people we didnt really like that much so left it there.
But if we could have a simple ceremony, nice meal and only invite those we want to, i think it would have been great!
For me it is because you can live with someone, buy a house together, have a family, change your name, have pets together, go on holiday together... you can do all those things unmarried. Marriage just gives security in terms of the law incase of split and death.
I don't begrudge anyone that does marry though, as it's my choice to never marry, just as it is someone else's choice to marry.
Well gay people for a start.
They made quite a big deal recently about their right to be able to get married, so presumably its something that they feel is still important and relevant even if most of the heterosexual population seem less bothered about it these days...
Just like (some) straight people wish to marry, some gay and lesbian people wish to marry. It's all about equal opportunities and rights. Before same sex marriage was put through, gay and lesbian people didn't have the choice of whether they wanted to marry or not as it was against the law. Now everyone can choose whether to marry or not.
We got married in church and I love being married.
Its what you make it. I have a friend who comes from Saudi who thinks its just a contract. She sees nothing else other than that
So it is down to the person I think. Everyone is different and feels different at different stages in their life.
I remember the day that a friend of mine rang me to tell me his partner of 10 years had told him completely out of the blue that she didn't love him any more and that she was leaving him. she'd apparently felt that way for some time as well and she was gone by the end of the day. it just kind of reinforced my view that if either partner decides they want to play away and/or leave then they will, and a piece of paper certainly won't stop them.
Does that sound right to anyone whos been married? The venue opposite the registery office is only £298!
Yes, just to be clear, the surviving spouse's entitlement, the statutory legacy, is limited to £450k (£250k if there are children). With house prices the way they are, £250k isn't very much at all so definitely make a will.