its just disheartening when I seem to try so hard and still end up feeling so low
That's down to you, I mentioned earlier, it has to come from within, if you've managed to go 18 months without a drink, that shows you have the capability to make a success of something, why not try and focus the same on your psychological issues?
I don't really understand the not having a care for anyone else though - do I come across as uncaring
Well, let me ask you this, remember the other poster who is having issues re meeting a bf, and wanting to lose her virginity, to me, that poster has issues, offering yourself as a sex partner whilst she is trying to deal with her issues, is that the attitude of a caring person? remember, she posted in advice not GD, I thought your comment was quite offensive tbh.
Well, let me ask you this, remember the other poster who is having issues re meeting a bf, and wanting to lose her virginity, to me, that poster has issues, offering yourself as a sex partner whilst she is trying to deal with her issues, is that the attitude of a caring person? remember, she posted in advice not GD, I thought your comment was quite offensive tbh.
Yes, you are right about that, I didn't realise at the time that was an inappropriate post, but looking at it now, it definately was.
I suppose I just don't have the will at the moment. With the drink, it got to the point where it completely defeated me, so just have to wait for that to happen with everything else I suppose.
What if you pay first to get into therapy, that is, you get a private referral to start off treatment, then get the rest of it on the NHS, as a lot of private psychiatrists also work in the NHS and use NHS facilities for private patients.
What if you pay first to get into therapy, that is, you get a private referral to start off treatment, then get the rest of it on the NHS, as a lot of private psychiatrists also work in the NHS and use NHS facilities for private patients.
I asked the Pyschiatrist how I could get DBT privately, and she said she didn't know, but would ask the Pyschologist on the team and tell me at my next appointment.
My OH isn't very keen on the idea of therapy, but if I can find a genuine, reasonably priced therapist who will offer CBT and DBT, then I'll probably be able to persuade him to pay.
But I'm told that I need CBT and DBT, but am also told that there aren't any qualified therapists in my area, so the waiting list is 'closed'.
MGT, I've given you advice previously, you don't need anyone else to assist you providing you have the tools to assist yourself.
I've suggested to you to start from the beginning, your very first memory, and work through your life, write it out into a document, listing the pro's and con's of every issue, then deal with those negative issues, be it on here, or with friends.
We can all blame someone else for the situation we find ourselves in, but at the end of the day, we have to take some responsibility.
You cannot change the past, but you can control the future, and only YOU can do that, you've heard of taking a horse to water, but cannot make it drink it?
I've suggested to you to start from the beginning, your very first memory, and work through your life, write it out into a document, listing the pro's and con's of every issue, then deal with those negative issues, be it on here, or with friends.
I've done a searching and fearless moral inventory of myself - detailling every resentment, fear, times I've been hurt and every time I've hurt others. I recognised my part in it, I realise my faults, became willing to have them removed, but stumbled over what I'm supposed to do now :-/
Managed to persuade her to tell me what my diagnosis is, she thinks I have Generalised Anxiety Disorder, Social Anxiety, Dysthymia and best of all - Borderline Personality Disorder!
She has agreed to refer me to the Eating Disorders Service.
She thinks that CBT and DBT would be best, but both are still closed, so cannot be refered. I asked again about Pyschotherapy, but they won't take me while I self-harm.
I'm to stop taking the Venlafaxine, and have to prepare for a nightmare 7-10 days with horrendous withdrawls.
Going back on 6th June to discuss a differernt medication.
But basically, I just have a rubbish personality
MT - hope you are ok. BPD is not a rubbish personality - it usually occurs because of trauma in childhood. CBT is a good treatment for generalised anxiety so keep pestering - I finally got referred to a psychologist because I was adamant that nothing else would help me.
When you go back for a review of medication, make sure you ask about side effects/effectiveness of new treatment.
MT - hope you are ok. BPD is not a rubbish personality - it usually occurs because of trauma in childhood. CBT is a good treatment for generalised anxiety so keep pestering - I finally got referred to a psychologist because I was adamant that nothing else would help me.
When you go back for a review of medication, make sure you ask about side effects/effectiveness of new treatment.
THanks Shazzy. Someone else mentioned about Trauma in childhood, and I didn't have any trauma up until I was about 12 - surely thats a bit late to have an effect on my personality?
You cannot change the past - that is often the problem, either to pretend to change the past and imagine how different things could have been, or accept the life you have and conclude that was the way thing were/are, so you can move on. A person who has had insufficient control of their past really needs to compartmentalise it, so they can take control of the future. The people who shape your past still haunt you, but it might be best to blame them more than you blame yourself. That way you can accept you have very little control over the past, and can determine to make sure you control your future.
THanks Shazzy. Someone else mentioned about Trauma in childhood, and I didn't have any trauma up until I was about 12 - surely thats a bit late to have an effect on my personality?
12 is still very young and early adolescence is difficult anyway but even more so if something traumatic happens.
i think, like most of us, you are more than capable of ignoring anything you don't want to hear/know.
Thats why I had to do it with someone else - a lot of stuff I didn't realise about myself was pointed out to me, which I have to say hurt rather a lot. Makes most people feel better about themselves, but made me feel worse!
I've done a searching and fearless moral inventory of myself - detailling every resentment, fear, times I've been hurt and every time I've hurt others. I recognised my part in it, I realise my faults, became willing to have them removed, but stumbled over what I'm supposed to do now :-/
You have to deal with the issues, no one can take them away, not a CBT, GP, Psychiatrist, not even GOD, but you can learn to live where your previous issues don't have an impact on you anymore, and I’ve given you information on how to deal with that.
One get's the impression, that no matter what is said in this thread, it will fall on deaf ears, you remind me of another poster who continues to create posts, yet never ever makes any progress regardless of all the help / advice offered.
You have to deal with the issues, no one can take them away, not a CBT, GP, Psychiatrist, not even GOD, but you can learn to live where your previous issues don't have an impact on you anymore, and I’ve given you information on how to deal with that.
Makes most people feel better about themselves, but made me feel worse!
for people in your situation, things will always get worse before they get better. the problem is that people often want to stick to what they know, even if it is making their life difficult, and this is usually the point at which people give up.
It is possible that new medication will make you think differently. The way you think at the moment is a cycle of negativity, which is understandable, because without the right balance of chemicals, the brain can get stuck. But once that changes, therapy can then enable you to look at the cause of the problem and either resolve it, or allow you to forget about it, so that you can move on.
All I can say about the people in your past, if they took control away from you, you will have to arm yourself with a new capability not to allow anyone to take control away from you in the future; and that might happen once you are thinking more positively with new medication.
One get's the impression, that no matter what is said in this thread, it will fall on deaf ears, you remind me of another poster who continues to create posts, yet never ever makes any progress regardless of all the help / advice offered.
I'm afraid that is a typical borderline presentation : we, on the thread, just join the long list of people who devote lots of time and thinking but are never 'good enough' to help. A forum like this can become a way of sustaining the problems rather than resolving them, and we - other posters - should be wary of being put into - used - in that role.
I'll be the first to admit that my progress is slow, but I definately don't think it is non-exsistent. 18 months ago I was drinking everyday, couldn't leave the house and couldn't function. Things have changed a lot since then, because of me. I do get stuck in ruts and whinge quite a lot, but looking at the past 18 months I really have improved an awful lot, so I don't think its fair to say that I'm not making any progress.
magnetictiger -- I've read this entire thread. I feel for you with regards to not being able to access therapy (CBT/DBT etc). Unfortunately, it's just the way the system works. There are long waiting lists. I've been under adolescent services and, now, adult services (my local CMHT) for 4 years now. I've suffered from a variety of problems including Anorexia Nervosa, OCD, bipolar disorder. I've spent months in a hospital being fed, tried a number of medications, had a lot of therapy and, at the end of the day, the best thing that's helped me is realising only I can help myself. I had specialist help but it wasn't until I faced myself in the mirror that I realised no amount of complaining to a psychiatrist was going to "fix me". There is no cure. It's about managing the problems and learning to live your life. I pulled my skinny, suicidal teenage self out of a hospital bed, got a part-time job, started a part-time college course, called a few friends, finally found a decent therapist. It's the things I've done for myself that have made the difference. I've seen the top ED specialist in the country but found recovery in a local eating disorders therapist because I opened up to her and did the work. Sorry, I rambled. I just wanted to let you know that things can get better. Bloody hell has it taken a LONG time. It hasn't been easy. It's slow and frustrating. It didn't happen overnight and took a lot of effort on my part. It wasn't about the meds or the psychiatrists, it was about doing little things in my day-to-day life.
Comments
Yes, you are right about that, I didn't realise at the time that was an inappropriate post, but looking at it now, it definately was.
I suppose I just don't have the will at the moment. With the drink, it got to the point where it completely defeated me, so just have to wait for that to happen with everything else I suppose.
A passionate sensible hobby is usually the best cure.
e.g. Ronnie O'Sullivan and his jogging.
Problems dont 'always' go away but they do become less important and thus much lesser.
But I'm told that I need CBT and DBT, but am also told that there aren't any qualified therapists in my area, so the waiting list is 'closed'.
I asked the Pyschiatrist how I could get DBT privately, and she said she didn't know, but would ask the Pyschologist on the team and tell me at my next appointment.
My OH isn't very keen on the idea of therapy, but if I can find a genuine, reasonably priced therapist who will offer CBT and DBT, then I'll probably be able to persuade him to pay.
MGT, I've given you advice previously, you don't need anyone else to assist you providing you have the tools to assist yourself.
I've suggested to you to start from the beginning, your very first memory, and work through your life, write it out into a document, listing the pro's and con's of every issue, then deal with those negative issues, be it on here, or with friends.
We can all blame someone else for the situation we find ourselves in, but at the end of the day, we have to take some responsibility.
You cannot change the past, but you can control the future, and only YOU can do that, you've heard of taking a horse to water, but cannot make it drink it?
I've done a searching and fearless moral inventory of myself - detailling every resentment, fear, times I've been hurt and every time I've hurt others. I recognised my part in it, I realise my faults, became willing to have them removed, but stumbled over what I'm supposed to do now :-/
MT - hope you are ok. BPD is not a rubbish personality - it usually occurs because of trauma in childhood. CBT is a good treatment for generalised anxiety so keep pestering - I finally got referred to a psychologist because I was adamant that nothing else would help me.
When you go back for a review of medication, make sure you ask about side effects/effectiveness of new treatment.
THanks Shazzy. Someone else mentioned about Trauma in childhood, and I didn't have any trauma up until I was about 12 - surely thats a bit late to have an effect on my personality?
i think, like most of us, you are more than capable of ignoring anything you don't want to hear/know.
12 is still very young and early adolescence is difficult anyway but even more so if something traumatic happens.
Thats why I had to do it with someone else - a lot of stuff I didn't realise about myself was pointed out to me, which I have to say hurt rather a lot. Makes most people feel better about themselves, but made me feel worse!
It wasn't even very traumatic, so I wouldn't have thought it would have such a huge impact on 'me'.
You have to deal with the issues, no one can take them away, not a CBT, GP, Psychiatrist, not even GOD, but you can learn to live where your previous issues don't have an impact on you anymore, and I’ve given you information on how to deal with that.
One get's the impression, that no matter what is said in this thread, it will fall on deaf ears, you remind me of another poster who continues to create posts, yet never ever makes any progress regardless of all the help / advice offered.
Any chance you could tell me again, very clearly?
for people in your situation, things will always get worse before they get better. the problem is that people often want to stick to what they know, even if it is making their life difficult, and this is usually the point at which people give up.
All I can say about the people in your past, if they took control away from you, you will have to arm yourself with a new capability not to allow anyone to take control away from you in the future; and that might happen once you are thinking more positively with new medication.
I'm afraid that is a typical borderline presentation : we, on the thread, just join the long list of people who devote lots of time and thinking but are never 'good enough' to help. A forum like this can become a way of sustaining the problems rather than resolving them, and we - other posters - should be wary of being put into - used - in that role.
as such, i will bow out now.
Good luck!