Spectre. ”miss moneypenny, i'm fed up of being politically correct. I miss the old days, when all the womens' names contained sexual innuendo...... " ".....tell you what james, lets rewrite the script, and put in lots of jokes about your unusually small penis ......"
The Man Who Fell To Earth. '' ...... er, ive just jumped out of the plane, and now my parachute wont open. any suggestions? .......... er, the ground seems to be approaching very quickly, all practical suggestions much appreciated............
The Private Life Of Henry 8th. ''........ don't know about Green Sleeves, sire, but i can see some Red Faces. HA ! ..........'' '' ........... oh really, is that so? well, lad, i'm The King, and next person who makes a nasty joke about my song writing gets their head cut off. I'd like to see how witty they are after that ! Ah, here comes my lovely new wife ......... "
Dr Wno And The Daleks. '' look here, you chaps, i really am sorry you've all got sink plungers instead of arms. And eye stalks. And weird looking bumps. Must make meeting girls socially very difficult. But, let me teach you all to tap dance. Then, you'll be a hit with the ladies. It's just a question of learning some social skills. There really is no need to conquer the entire universe, just because you feel very lonely ..........''
Jesus Of Nazareth. '' ........ so, we divide up the 5 loaves and 2 fishes like this, give them to 5000 people, and how many baskets of food are left over ? ........... '' ''' ............. none, o lord, but you seem to have started a debate about modern maths teaching methods .......... i daresay this will continue for at least another 2000 years .......... '''
Bad Santa '' ....... so i dressed up as rudolf, and mrs claus put on an elf costume, and we were at it all night ........ not many presents delivered i'm afraid .....
All That Heaven Allows. ''1 pair nylon clip on wings. 2 tubs ben & jerrys per week. A used copy of playboy with tissues. If you wanted virgins that was the other religion, too late now. Film show once per week. The cloud is unfenced, try not to fall off the edge ......"
Comments
Olympus Has Fallen - Disaster movie where the Greek mountain breaks apart.
Little Women - fly on the wall documentary following around Barbara Windsor, Sandi Toksvig and Elaine Paige.
Sorry, Wrong Number - history of British Telecom
The Enchanted Cottage - Quaint Victorian men's toilets where gay men magically appear out of nowhere.
Heh Heh.
lest people think it was about a randy man:
http://www.timeout.com/london/film/young-man-with-a-horn
Love and Human Remains - Romance blossoms between two pathologists!
Hugo - Biopic of the author of Les Misérables and The Hunchback of Notre Dame.