My gran died of a massive stroke 4 years ago. In the 18 months before she died she had a couple of falls in the house. Caused by her temp going up and her having a urine infection. She spent a few weeks in hospital each time. She was in her early 80s. My mum did all her shopping but my gran dealt with all her own personal care and cooking.
She had physio and worked with an OT, adaptations were made to her flat, to help her prepare meals, she also had a zimmer.
Every persons health problems are their own. My gran was very independent, she wanted to stay in her own home and she was there until 10 days before she died. She didn't like strangers coming into her home, she refused meals on wheels for example.
But she wanted to be as independent as she could be, to the end.
I understand that the ops condition may have deteriorated over the years.
But if you make posts on a forum asking how to maximise your dla claim, then you can hardly turn round at a later date and say you are well, even if you feel it.
For the record, I know some people on dla who have injuries that don't look visible when you see them but are in severe pain, however that dla is used wisely to try and maximise their quality of life.
I'm assuming that the oh can't work because he's the OPs carer.
Even if he's happy to do so it's unrealistic to ask someone to care constantly with no respite for 365 days a year. People need a break.
Your posting history will follow you around forever. Sure, you can choose a new forum and new username but your 'story' is so unique, that it's instantly recognisable. You and you alone have created this monster. You are reaping what you have sowed.
Yes, this topic is about your weight loss but due to your ridiculous attitude towards eating and diet and the way you dismiss or ignore anyone who shows concern or offers healthy eating advice, it's hardly surprising people look to the other aspects of your life to try and make sense of it all.
You say you enjoy your life and don't have mental health issues. However, your lifestyle choices are not normal. They are off the spectrum of what most people would consider normal. It is not normal to be so dependent on another person. Even those with severe disabilities strive for independence (look at the early post of my paraplegic friend or Hannah's mum who had a stroke). The fact that you haven't seen on OT who could make both your lives easier is not normal.
However disabled you might be, the parasitic dependency you have on your OH is not normal.
i don't care if you or anyone thinks its normal tbh, we would be together 24/7 regardless if i was disabled or not
i don't care if you or anyone thinks its normal tbh, we would be together 24/7 regardless if i was disabled or not
That's fine - each to his/her own when it comes to relationships. However, if you love him, surely it would be natural to try to do as much as possible to help yourself become more independent with daily living activities in order to take the pressure off him. I really can't understand why you haven't taken the opportunity to have an OT assessment in order to help you both.
That's fine - each to his/her own when it comes to relationships. However, if you love him, surely it would be natural to try to do as much as possible to help yourself become more independent with daily living activities in order to take the pressure off him. I really can't understand why you haven't taken the opportunity to have an OT assessment in order to help you both.
that is our business and nothing to do with anyone else, you have no idea what i do/dont do as its not your business
that's it regarding my disability/relationship and this topic, from now on I'll only answer posts regarding what this topic is actually about, my diet
I'm assuming that the oh can't work because he's the OPs carer.
Even if he's happy to do so it's unrealistic to ask someone to care constantly with no respite for 365 days a year. People need a break.
My mum is a carer for me and my brother, and sometimes she goes to the support meetings and trips for carers. She works, goes out and does stuff with me (and sometimes my brother too) when she's not at work. My brother works and has a place of his own, so he's hardly ever in the house now, and I help out at my dad's work two days a week, so she gets some time to herself too. She takes advantage of the support groups. I don't really know what goes on there, but a lot of it is support from other carers and how they cope with people, people who are a lot less capable of looking after themselves than my brother or I am. There are also things like theater and shopping trips, so that the people who are stuck caring for someone 24/7 can get out of the house and have some time away from the people they are looking after. That said, I get the feeling that Ebony won't let her OH out of her sight for more than five minutes, so that's unlikely to happen.
I don't know what Ebony's disability is, and I don't want to compare her conditions to mine or my brothers, perhaps she is a lot less able than me or my brother are, and maybe looking after her is a full time job, but there is support out there, for both her and her OH, whether they choose to take advantage of it or not is obviously up to them.
that is our business and nothing to do with anyone else, you have no idea what i do/dont do as its not your business
that's it regarding my disability/relationship and this topic, from now on I'll only answer posts regarding what this topic is actually about, my diet
Ok, it's your business alone so hopefully in the future there won't be any more threads anywhere on the net regarding any aspect your disabilities or relationship - you opened the door by creating previous threads and giving personal information, so not quite sure why you expect people not to respond to seeming inconsistencies and other aspects of what you've posted.
That's fine - each to his/her own when it comes to relationships. However, if you love him, surely it would be natural to try to do as much as possible to help yourself become more independent with daily living activities in order to take the pressure off him. I really can't understand why you haven't taken the opportunity to have an OT assessment in order to help you both.
That's fine as long as the couple in question have the money to finance a lifestyle which allows them to be together 24/7. Its not fine if you make up lies to claim benefits you aren't entitled to and which results in genuine claimants suffering hardship. That's benefit fraud and it's illegal.
i don't care if you or anyone thinks its normal tbh, we would be together 24/7 regardless if i was disabled or not
Part of me does feel sorry for you, if you genuinely do have a disability, but I don't think you do. Comments like this prove that you have no intentions of bettering yourself. According to you, the fact that you are disabled has nothing to do with it, you want to spend your days in a flat together and sponge off the State.
Its like crazy chris threads. You read them and get a mental image of everything and then it becomes like a soap opera.
I imagine it a bit like lou and andy from little britain. Ebs is sitting on a stinky old worn out sofa in her dark hot stinky living room (from all the hamsters) eating her third lion bar of the day. She of course is wearing just her knickers and a vest because its so hot. Poor bob is in the kitchen preparing another meal of quorn on quorn when ebbs rings a bell because she needs crisps. Bob comes rushing in to assist her eat them.
Bob then nips to the toilet while ebs quietly sneaks off the sofa and runs to the spare room. She has time for a few bench presses and some other body building stuff but oh no she hears the toilet flush! What will she do?
Poor ebs is forced to lay on the floor and act shocked. Bob rushes in feeling guilty for leaving her and scoops her up and puts her back on her sofa. He doesnt have time to ask how she got into the other room because theres a faint smell of burning cardboard coming from the kitchen....
we all have our relationships the way we want them not the way others think we should have them
anyway, looking forward to more yummy veg today
I dont care what you think about my post either
Its true. To be with someone 24/7 and not to allow them to have female friends (I assume its because he might be tempted and run off) really isnt healthy at all.
Comments
Its his flat so how on earth would he?
She had physio and worked with an OT, adaptations were made to her flat, to help her prepare meals, she also had a zimmer.
Every persons health problems are their own. My gran was very independent, she wanted to stay in her own home and she was there until 10 days before she died. She didn't like strangers coming into her home, she refused meals on wheels for example.
But she wanted to be as independent as she could be, to the end.
I understand that the ops condition may have deteriorated over the years.
But if you make posts on a forum asking how to maximise your dla claim, then you can hardly turn round at a later date and say you are well, even if you feel it.
For the record, I know some people on dla who have injuries that don't look visible when you see them but are in severe pain, however that dla is used wisely to try and maximise their quality of life.
I'm assuming that the oh can't work because he's the OPs carer.
Even if he's happy to do so it's unrealistic to ask someone to care constantly with no respite for 365 days a year. People need a break.
i don't care if you or anyone thinks its normal tbh, we would be together 24/7 regardless if i was disabled or not
That's fine - each to his/her own when it comes to relationships. However, if you love him, surely it would be natural to try to do as much as possible to help yourself become more independent with daily living activities in order to take the pressure off him. I really can't understand why you haven't taken the opportunity to have an OT assessment in order to help you both.
that is our business and nothing to do with anyone else, you have no idea what i do/dont do as its not your business
that's it regarding my disability/relationship and this topic, from now on I'll only answer posts regarding what this topic is actually about, my diet
My mum is a carer for me and my brother, and sometimes she goes to the support meetings and trips for carers. She works, goes out and does stuff with me (and sometimes my brother too) when she's not at work. My brother works and has a place of his own, so he's hardly ever in the house now, and I help out at my dad's work two days a week, so she gets some time to herself too. She takes advantage of the support groups. I don't really know what goes on there, but a lot of it is support from other carers and how they cope with people, people who are a lot less capable of looking after themselves than my brother or I am. There are also things like theater and shopping trips, so that the people who are stuck caring for someone 24/7 can get out of the house and have some time away from the people they are looking after. That said, I get the feeling that Ebony won't let her OH out of her sight for more than five minutes, so that's unlikely to happen.
I don't know what Ebony's disability is, and I don't want to compare her conditions to mine or my brothers, perhaps she is a lot less able than me or my brother are, and maybe looking after her is a full time job, but there is support out there, for both her and her OH, whether they choose to take advantage of it or not is obviously up to them.
Ok, it's your business alone so hopefully in the future there won't be any more threads anywhere on the net regarding any aspect your disabilities or relationship - you opened the door by creating previous threads and giving personal information, so not quite sure why you expect people not to respond to seeming inconsistencies and other aspects of what you've posted.
That's fine as long as the couple in question have the money to finance a lifestyle which allows them to be together 24/7. Its not fine if you make up lies to claim benefits you aren't entitled to and which results in genuine claimants suffering hardship. That's benefit fraud and it's illegal.
Part of me does feel sorry for you, if you genuinely do have a disability, but I don't think you do. Comments like this prove that you have no intentions of bettering yourself. According to you, the fact that you are disabled has nothing to do with it, you want to spend your days in a flat together and sponge off the State.
Yes you do. Otherwise you wouldn't keep replying to people about it (despite repeated claims that you won't).
You care very much. That is the whole point of your ludicrous forum history.
If anything ever happened to your OH or he left you, who would care for you?
Its not healthy to be with someone 24/7 and its not healthy not to allow your partner to have female friends either.
i don't care what you think it is healthy or not
we all have our relationships the way we want them not the way others think we should have them
anyway, looking forward to more yummy veg today
I had to re-quote this. It's brilliant!
I dont care what you think about my post either
Its true. To be with someone 24/7 and not to allow them to have female friends (I assume its because he might be tempted and run off) really isnt healthy at all.