Unwanted Downs baby left with surrogate mother

tiacat · 02/08/14 - 10:14

http://www.theguardian.com/society/2014/aug/01/baby-downs-syndrome-abandoned-thailand-australian-donations

What a dreadful story. I dont even know if I agree with surrogacy but whether you do or not, this poor child has now been abandoned by the potential parents. It sounds like the surrogate mother will keep the child.

Mrs Teapot · 02/08/14 - 10:18

It's an awful story and so many ways of looking at it. Some very callous people in the world!

anne_666 · 02/08/14 - 10:26

I would question their suitability as parents to the twin. I am also shocked they can legally do this. A disgusting abandonment of responsibility.

Rachael. · 02/08/14 - 10:30

This is so sad. Is it the done thing these days to choose your baby? :mad: They shouldn't be allowed to keep the other baby as Anne says it does question their suitability. I hope this poor baby gets the loving upbringing he deserves.

Pull2Open · 02/08/14 - 10:31

I do hope that these 'parents' are found and outed.

anne_666 · 02/08/14 - 10:39

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/worldnews/asia/thailand/11006524/Legal-situation-of-surrogacy-explained.html

Something I know very little about, surrogacy law. An article about the need for reform in light of this case. What a beautiful baby he is, this is heartbreaking.

Tony Tiger · 02/08/14 - 10:42

The story I read said they knew well in advance that the child had this condition and requested it be terminated, but the surrogate did not comply.

tiacat · 02/08/14 - 10:43

Tony Tiger wrote: »

The story I read said they knew well in advance that the child had this condition and requested it be terminated, but the surrogate did not comply.

Where was that? Can you terminate one of a twin, I dont really know the science behind it.

If Im honest I dont really like the whole surrogacy and even IVF thing, there are so many children needing adoptive and foster parents but people want 'perfect' babies.

Jason · 02/08/14 - 10:44

Tony Tiger wrote: »

The story I read said they knew well in advance that the child had this condition and requested it be terminated, but the surrogate did not comply.

I read that as well but it still doesn't justify them essentially saying "fine, you deal with it".

but then I suppose if they'd gone through an official government agency in Australia instead of going to Thailand, there'd be more help and protection for everyone concerned.

Kaz159 · 02/08/14 - 10:45

Tony Tiger wrote: »

The story I read said they knew well in advance that the child had this condition and requested it be terminated, but the surrogate did not comply.

Is it possible to terminate one of twins or did they want to terminate both?

I've not heard/read this anywhere. ('m not saying it's not correct).

Edit: See someone else has also read it.

anne_666 · 02/08/14 - 10:46

Tony Tiger wrote: »

The story I read said they knew well in advance that the child had this condition and requested it be terminated, but the surrogate did not comply.

I've just noticed there's a link to that story on the same page. I can't get it to work on here. It's the first story under related articles.

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/worldnews/asia/thailand/11006524/Legal-situation-of-surrogacy-explained.html

fleabee · 02/08/14 - 10:46

The Australian laws aren't very strong then. In the UK you can't have a baby from abroad without having being checked out and approved by the UK adoption service, and then they have to have follow ups once you have the baby. This wouldn't happen here.

dee123 · 02/08/14 - 10:48

Pull2Open wrote: »

I do hope that these 'parents' are found and outed.

I'm sure they will be.

zx50 · 02/08/14 - 10:54

The mother might have decided that she wasn't ready for being a mother after all. It could have been because of the baby having Down's Syndrome, but she might have decided that she couldn't cope with being a mother. If it was because of the baby's condition, that's a bit shallow and selfish.

Edit: Okay, have just found out that they did leave the baby with the surrogate mother because the child had Down's Syndrome. Unbelievable.

Rachael. · 02/08/14 - 10:58

zx50 wrote: »

The mother might have decided that she wasn't ready for being a mother after all. It could have been because of the baby having Down's Syndrome, but she might have decided that she couldn't cope with being a mother. If it was because of the baby's condition, that's a bit shallow and selfish. Edit: Okay, have just found out that they did leave the baby with the surrogate mother because the child had Down's Syndrome. Unbelievable.

They also took the baby's twin

kitty86 · 02/08/14 - 10:59

It's so sad, I know 2 sets of twins where one died and the sadness and emptiness the other still feels now years later is heartbreaking. That poor boy will feel an emptiness as he gets older until he is reunited with his sister.

zx50 · 02/08/14 - 11:03

Rachael. wrote: »

They also took the baby's twin

That makes this even worse. Just goes to show that love's conditional with some parents.

zx50 · 02/08/14 - 11:09

tiacat wrote: »

Where was that? Can you terminate one of a twin, I dont really know the science behind it.

If Im honest I dont really like the whole surrogacy and even IVF thing, there are so many children needing adoptive and foster parents but people want 'perfect' babies.

Or it could be that some women who can't conceive naturally might want a baby that shares their DNA. Some women that can't conceive naturally might want a baby that's part of them. It might not be about wanting a 'perfect baby'.

tiacat · 02/08/14 - 11:18

Well according to some of the other reports of this in Australia, this is not a case where the surrogates eggs were used, so this child is 100% the child of the Australians.

Why cant the parents financially support the child?

tiacat · 02/08/14 - 11:20

zx50 wrote: »

Or it could be that some women who can't conceive naturally might want a baby that shares their DNA. Some women that can't conceive naturally might want a baby that's part of them. It might not be about wanting a 'perfect baby'.

I understand that, but that is part of the 'perfection' that the child is 'theirs' biologically.

I realise its not a popular view in a society where we are told we can have everything we want, but if you cant have children naturally then I dont agree that we should create them unnaturally. By the way I notice that you focus on women not being able to conceive, I am talking about men and women.

zx50 · 02/08/14 - 11:22

Just to say, I wish more babies were adopted.

Jackiebo · 02/08/14 - 11:23

Sad story. However I have the opposite of it to tell, and I will! I'm a learning disabilities nurse and,as such, often come across people with Down's. I had a former client who will be in his 50's now -his mum in her late 80's, if not 90's. She told me that when he was born, in the early 60's, it was a disaster and she cried for weeks wondering what to do with him. Then her MIL took her to the side and said 'this is how he is - are you going to get on with it or not?' At that point she decided 'Well, he's never going to be academic, I'll make sure he is well-mannered' And, boy, did she succeed in spades! He is freakin' charm on 2 legs! I took him once for a medical procedure and the nurse there,who possbily mistakenly took me for a sibling, looked up and said 'You are so lucky'.

She is right. I am lucky to have known this person. I feel sorry for those who have denied themselves such an opportunity.

zx50 · 02/08/14 - 11:28

tiacat wrote: »

I understand that, but that is part of the 'perfection' that the child is 'theirs' biologically.

I realise its not a popular view in a society where we are told we can have everything we want, but if you cant have children naturally then I dont agree that we should create them unnaturally. By the way I notice that you focus on women not being able to conceive, I am talking about men and women.

Things in the world advance. IVF was probably created to allow women who couldn't conceive naturally to have children. I was focusing on women because it's the woman who has the sperm inside her when it develops into a baby.

chopsim · 02/08/14 - 11:32

If it's is sperm then surely the child is his. Therefore he should take care of it....whether personally or financially.

tiacat · 02/08/14 - 11:33

zx50 wrote: »

Things in the world advance. IVF was probably created to allow women who couldn't conceive naturally to have children. I was focusing on women because it's the woman who has the sperm inside her when it develops into a baby.

Of course, but I tend to feel that just because you can, doesnt mean you should.

Anyway, Im aware that Im in a total minority but it doesnt change my view.

tiacat · 02/08/14 - 11:39

chopsim wrote: »

If it's is sperm then surely the child is his. Therefore he should take care of it....whether personally or financially.

Yes, if he had got someone pregnant and they had not wanted to terminate at his request, he would still be liable for financially supporting the child. How does this woman in Thailand enforce that though?

Hey there!

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Unwanted Downs baby left with surrogate mother

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