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I'm here, i'm queer I had nothing to fear
spolier
Posts: 410 Forum Member
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So came out in January wish I had done it sooner.
I am 29 m was hiding for way too long scared of what people would think but it has honestly been the best thing I ever did.
My situation before was slightly bad as was engaged to a girl who I now miss terribly but I did the right thing for us both. She even said it was the bravest thing I ever did.
For anyone who is worried or scared about coming out try talking to people you trust and who love you. The rest falls into place
I am 29 m was hiding for way too long scared of what people would think but it has honestly been the best thing I ever did.
My situation before was slightly bad as was engaged to a girl who I now miss terribly but I did the right thing for us both. She even said it was the bravest thing I ever did.
For anyone who is worried or scared about coming out try talking to people you trust and who love you. The rest falls into place
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It's important you don't define yourself by your sexuality too. I see a lot of people who feel the need to constantly remind people of it for some reason. They seem insecure.
Hopefully you haven't had any negative reactions from people. Sounds like your ex-fiancee has been supportive, at least.
Very true. i hate the labels that come with it. I am me now finally and am going to remain me. It doesnt matter what sexuality anyone is, for me it's the person.
At first she was. Not spoken since Jan now. it's for the best though we both need to move on.
Sigh, I can't keep up with these things.
Gay man admits to being gay, so what ? it's not been illegal for quite some time now.
For what?
Never understand the "congratulations" when someone "comes out".
It's 2014, not 1964. No one cares (or very few do, but that's their problem) about what sexuality anyone is.
Why this "coming out" nonsense still exists, I don't know.
I also don't like OP's choice of words in the title.
congratulations, it is good that your friends and family have been supportive
The OP came out in January. December he was still gay and his family and friends loved him and supported him, so why wouldn't they when he mentioned his sexuality. Nothing's changed, he's still the same person.
Why the need to say "well done" and "congratulations" when you say you're gay, but not when you're heterosexual?
It really annoys me when people treat someone differently when they've "come out". All of a sudden their popularity goes up and they are put on a pedestal. To me, it's as bad as disliking someone and giving someone abuse for their sexuality. In both you are liking/disliking that person based on their sexuality. You should like/dislike someone based upon their personality, sexuality shouldn't come into it.
No one cares about sexuality, you are who you are. The sooner the whole "coming out" thing is phased out, the better.
Here here.
Congrats O.P. I hope you have a super big gay life.
You're wrong. People do still care about sexuality and take offence at those who come out. Even families. People who professed love of children and siblings still to this day disown them if they are gay.
Congratulations in my opinion are in order as it's clearly been a struggle from his side reflecting in how long it has actually taken to come out, which isn't easy for anyone to do, that feeling of anxiety and anticipation as to how people will react if something straight people would not understand
Btw I wish you all the best
Is it really still a big issue or is it people making it still an issue.
The only people in this thread making sexuality an issue are those that are "congratulating" the OP.
It's not a fear someone should have. If someone doesn't like someone based upon their sexuality, that person is an idiot.
Controversially, I think it's a generational thing. I'm under 25, I don't know anyone that cares about sexuality and all my friends, past and present, are completely open minded and don't care about what sexuality someone is.
There's people of say, 40, 50 60+ that say they're not bothered whether someone is gay or not, but make an issue out of it, by saying "well done", "hope you have no issue" "glad you're family/friends are supportive" (supportive of what, exactly?). Whereas, if someone told me their sexuality, I don't say anything. Inside I'm thinking, 'yeah, and?'
As I said, controversial view, but that's how I see it.
If someone disowns someone because of their sexuality that is their problem and they're not worth bothering about anyone. I don't get it either. Yesterday, that friend or family member liked them, today they don't because they've said they're gay. Yesterday they were gay, today they are gay. Yesterday you liked them, today, you don't. It makes no sense.
It still takes a lot for one to come out, especially when there's a chance that some of their families, friends and locals may reject them. That's what congratulations are for. It's not "well done on being gay", it's "well done on deciding to be openly gay".
We still have a long way to go in terms of accepting LGBT people as the norm. We might as well to give a shout of support to those who choose to work towards making that happen.
Could you define, 'too gay' for me please??
It's not a controversial thing to say. If anything, it shows lack of understanding or awareness towards history. You forget that there are LGBT people among older generations. Many still remember those days when it was an offence. It was decriminalised in England and Wales only forty+ years ago and in Scotland thirty+ years ago. So saying something to the effect of "we got your back" is a recognition that those difficult days are over.
The only people making an issue and a big deal of someone being gay are those saying "congrats/well done".
There's a lot of people in this thread that are overestimating the amount of people that actually care about sexuality.
Defining LGBT as a group is another thing that annoys me. Why the need for segregation or a different group for people? It's like gay bars/clubs, why the need?
No one is congratulating him on his sexuality. It not an achievement in itself. It's about having the courage to be honest about it to his nearest and dearest.