When to Worry?

MutterMutter Posts: 3,269
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Daughter travelling alone, back packing toward NZ.
She's been in contact whenever able, mostly daily. I understood she was out of contact during remote medical volunteering in Uganda but now I'm worrying.

She was in Siem Reep Cambodia on the 24th, she sent me a message on the 25th, since then nothing.

Travelling alone has disproved my concern as she has met up with travellers from all over the world. Sometimes darting off from the plan to other places. Tokyo wasn't on her route, but she is going to be there on the eighth August.

Thing is, where is she and why isn't she replying to emails? I sent a text earlier too but no reply.

I bet she'll message me and I'll play it so cool, when in fact I've spent today fretting and posting here and elsewhere to occupy myself. Kids!
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  • Philip WalesPhilip Wales Posts: 6,373
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    Not much advice I can offer, I would give it a few days, you never know she may of lost her charger, or be in a place without electric etc.

    Any how fingers crossed
  • blueisthecolourblueisthecolour Posts: 20,123
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    Mutter wrote: »
    Daughter travelling alone, back packing toward NZ.
    She's been in contact whenever able, mostly daily. I understood she was out of contact during remote medical volunteering in Uganda but now I'm worrying.

    She was in Siem Reep Cambodia on the 24th, she sent me a message on the 25th, since then nothing.

    Travelling alone has disproved my concern as she has met up with travellers from all over the world. Sometimes darting off from the plan to other places. Tokyo wasn't on her route, but she is going to be there on the eighth August.

    Thing is, where is she and why isn't she replying to emails? I sent a text earlier too but no reply.

    I bet she'll message me and I'll play it so cool, when in fact I've spent today fretting and posting here and elsewhere to occupy myself. Kids!

    The obvious answer is maybe she's in an area with a lack of connectivity. She might be doing some awesome trail through jungles and hills they have there and simply isn't contactable. Given that she was contacting you on a daily basis it's a bit inconsiderate of her to not have thought about this before but maybe she didn't realize.

    Next time make sure you agree a set time limit between contacts so you don't worry - it doesn't have to be every day, it could be up to a week. If she isn't willing to keep to that then at least you'll know that no contact doesn't necessary mean anything bad.
  • duckyluckyduckylucky Posts: 13,828
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    I feel for you . We fret and worry and they are having a ball . No news is good news in this case I guess . Sit tight , she might have no access to internet or phone coverage .
  • Nesta RobbinsNesta Robbins Posts: 30,594
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    Ahh bless you, we mums are wired to worry I think and distracting yourself does help take your mind off things. Keep doing that if you can. Yes, there could be lots of reasons for not being able to get connected, but as she's been good at staying in touch, she'll be aware that you haven't heard for a bit (although maybe not with quite the same sense of urgency). Imagine how long we'd have to wait in the days before internet! So if she has had signal/battery/charger issues, or even lost her phone then you have to allow for the time it might take to find somewhere to telephone on a land line (or buy a new phone). Hope you get some reassurance soon. x
  • MutterMutter Posts: 3,269
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    duckylucky wrote: »
    I feel for you . We fret and worry and they are having a ball . No news is good news in this case I guess . Sit tight , she might have no access to internet or phone coverage .
    Thanks Duck for replying but she left the no contact zone and is now where our phones are made!
  • ratty0ratty0 Posts: 2,720
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    Not sure anyone here can help but I hope you hear from her soon and that your mind is put at rest. Perhaps you can have some agreement with her that she'll try and contact you every x amount of days regardless of the situation and/or let you know where she is going before she goes there.

    I went travelling alone myself (female, in my 20s) for 3 months. Most of the time I wasn't in contact with anyone from home and no-one had any idea where I was. Not because I was trying to be evasive; I am just not used to telling people my movements plus my family don't even use text messaging and have only recently started to understand emails. So I only ever called from a payphone - probably every 3 weeks or so. But I appreciate this is a different relationship than you have with your daughter and it is more sensible to keep in closer touch.

    Does she have a Facebook account?

    Edit: I didn't even have a mobile phone when travelling. It was only two years ago that I went. I'm torn between thinking it's sensible to be in touch often and make use of technology versus the whole point of travelling and getting back to what is more natural. The latter I know won't be a very popular opinion but I think it depends on the person.
  • MutterMutter Posts: 3,269
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    Ahh bless you, we mums are wired to worry I think and distracting yourself does help take your mind off things. Keep doing that if you can. Yes, there could be lots of reasons for not being able to get connected, but as she's been good at staying in touch, she'll be aware that you haven't heard for a bit (although maybe not with quite the same sense of urgency). Imagine how long we'd have to wait in the days before internet! So if she has had signal/battery/charger issues, or even lost her phone then you have to allow for the time it might take to find somewhere to telephone on a land line (or buy a new phone). Hope you get some reassurance soon. x
    New phone? Bought that i5 thing. Had her wallet stolen, £800.

    I am living the world ticket with only the bad bits.
  • Summer BreezeSummer Breeze Posts: 4,399
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    One of mine used to travel a lot.
    At first she was always in contact with the family, then for various reasons ( like being in remote areas without internet and mobile phone signal and just busy having a good time) her contact drifted off.
    I was worried at first if she went a week without making contact with anyone here in the UK.
    Then she told me to chill out and not worry about her.
    Easier said than done of course.
  • Cocoa CadiddlesCocoa Cadiddles Posts: 22
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    Don't worry about her safety in Tokyo - it is a very busy city but she will be very safe xx
  • MutterMutter Posts: 3,269
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    Don't worry about her safety in Tokyo - it is a very busy city but she will be very safe xx
    Except she isn't there.

    There is a gap of a week when I have no idea where she is and she is not answering my messages.
  • Billy_ValueBilly_Value Posts: 22,919
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    parents never stop worrying from the moment they are born its a constant worry :)
  • Ninja_NathanNinja_Nathan Posts: 292
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    How is her history of forgetting to contact you?

    She's probably lost her charger don't worry yet.
  • Seth1Seth1 Posts: 676
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    I had to google Siem Reap news. Nothing too unusual going on there atm, other than a couple of people caught smuggling Ivory. It seems New Zealand want to crack down on this.

    Anyway, I do hope she gets in contact soon as it would be worrying to anyone.
  • alr837alr837 Posts: 1,838
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    I expect she's having such an amazing time she's just not quick at replying - I know I didn't when I was there! Internet isn't everywhere, so it might not be so easy. She could have also taken a long excursion - if she travels out to beyond beng melea, it is a very long day.

    Do you know where she's staying in Siem Reap? If you are worried, you could post on the tripadvisor website in the siem reap forum, a lot of the posters are on the ground so to speak and have been known to help worried parents before.
  • duckyluckyduckylucky Posts: 13,828
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    Have you tried phoning , not texting , the phone ? See if it straight to voice mail or is it ringing ? Leave messages on it to phone you and let her know your anxiety
  • bossoftheworldbossoftheworld Posts: 4,941
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    Hope you hear from her soon - I'm sure she will be alright - but of course you will worry (hugs hugs).

    Please update the thread once she's been in touch to let us know she's OK.
  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] Posts: 1,990
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    Is it possible to see where her phone is? Some phones have this capability.
  • Mumof3Mumof3 Posts: 4,529
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    Sorry you're worrying, it can't be much fun just waiting. There are infinitely more likely scenarios than causes for concern for the interrupted communications. When you do hear from her, perhaps you could discuss a regular but infrequent contact routine, say every fortnight, plus an updated loose itinerary? I don't know how my mum coped when I disappeared off travelling in my twenties, in the pre-mobile phone era, and she got one telephone call from me (and no emails) in four months.
  • MutterMutter Posts: 3,269
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    Mumof3 wrote: »
    Sorry you're worrying, it can't be much fun just waiting. There are infinitely more likely scenarios than causes for concern for the interrupted communications. When you do hear from her, perhaps you could discuss a regular but infrequent contact routine, say every fortnight, plus an updated loose itinerary? I don't know how my mum coped when I disappeared off travelling in my twenties, in the pre-mobile phone era, and she got one telephone call from me (and no emails) in four months.
    I know what you're saying Mum, but it's the fact that hardly anywhere is out of contact these days by mobile or email.
    I've kept my messages to questions until now, but this morning sent a text directly asking her to get in touch to let me know she's ok.
    I think she is in Vietnam six hours ahead of here.
  • topcat3topcat3 Posts: 3,109
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    Have you checked to see if there's any facebook activity? See if anyone has tagged her in a photo in the last few days
  • JulesFJulesF Posts: 6,461
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    Mutter wrote: »
    I know what you're saying Mum, but it's the fact that hardly anywhere is out of contact these days by mobile or email.
    I've kept my messages to questions until now, but this morning sent a text directly asking her to get in touch to let me know she's ok.
    I think she is in Vietnam six hours ahead of here.

    It must be awful to be in a constant state of worry. :(

    It's not true, though, that hardly anywhere is out of contact these days. Hell, my mobile reception is almost non-existent in some bits of my property, and I'm in south-east England! It's also perfectly plausible that she's lost either her phone or her charger - very easily done.
  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] Posts: 1,591
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    Really feel for you. Mine are still small but I know how much I would be worrying too, and would totally pretend I was cool when I heard from them.

    I feel terrible now about all the times I must have made my Mum worry because I just didn't realise how much she needed to simply know that I was ok.

    Hopefully she will be in touch very soon. I'm sure you won't be able to think about anything else until you hear from her.
  • MutterMutter Posts: 3,269
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    topcat3 wrote: »
    Have you checked to see if there's any facebook activity? See if anyone has tagged her in a photo in the last few days
    I'm not on facebook topcat, intentionally. She has said to join but I don't want to see what she does and would not normally tell me. I've been glad of that while away as I only heard of sky diving for instance when she had done it. It's not an open facebook, by invitation only, if that's the correct term.
    I thought of making a call to her mobile but if it goes straight to voice mail to save battery, I'll worry more.
    If I don't get contact today, I'll get in touch with one of her friends to look.
    Thanks for the suggestion.
  • JulesFJulesF Posts: 6,461
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    Mutter wrote: »
    I'm not on facebook topcat, intentionally. She has said to join but I don't want to see what she does and would not normally tell me. I've been glad of that while away as I only heard of sky diving for instance when she had done it. It's not an open facebook, by invitation only, if that's the correct term.
    I thought of making a call to her mobile but if it goes straight to voice mail to save battery, I'll worry more.
    If I don't get contact today, I'll get in touch with one of her friends to look.
    Thanks for the suggestion.

    Why not ask one of her friends to look on her FB right now, Mutter? Forget about trying to play it cool! You need to know she's OK for your own peace of mind.
  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] Posts: 1,591
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    topcat3 wrote: »
    Have you checked to see if there's any facebook activity? See if anyone has tagged her in a photo in the last few days

    This is a good idea - worth a look.
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