Time to Ditch a friend?
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[Deleted User]
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Hey all
For the past few weeks my friend has been really moody and bitchy to me. I have asked her was she upset about something, or did I do something to upset her and she said no
However in the last week she has been really horrible to me and said some really hurtful and nasty comments, and just been a bitch to me. She has made me feel really small and I am thinking about ignoring her.
The thing is we had a really good friendship but she has changed recently and I don't like the way she is now, I just really miss our friendship
For the past few weeks my friend has been really moody and bitchy to me. I have asked her was she upset about something, or did I do something to upset her and she said no
However in the last week she has been really horrible to me and said some really hurtful and nasty comments, and just been a bitch to me. She has made me feel really small and I am thinking about ignoring her.
The thing is we had a really good friendship but she has changed recently and I don't like the way she is now, I just really miss our friendship
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Comments
I haven't seen a single thing in your post to suggest you're even remotely concerned about her, it's all about you. If she's as good a friend as you've made out, don't you think it odd she's suddenly behaved like that? Maybe she is going through something terrible and she needs some support. So rather than call her a bitch on here, which in itself is not very nice, why don't you offer to take her out for a drink and ask her about her life and what may be upsetting her to behave so out of character. I would have thought this was what being a friend was about.
People don't change their personalities overnight (ok before smart asses say otherwise, I mean generally/without suffering head trauma etc etc).
I get its bothering you, but it seems like something serious is bothering your friend. Try and see if you can get out of her what is wrong, and help her through it.
And not by text!! Face to face. Its easy to hide if something is wrong in a text.
Oh, erm, do you have any mutual friends that might still be getting the 'old' her? They may have an idea why she has changed on you.
Well okay her is something, I told her I was depressed and feeling low about not working and she said to grow up and cop on. I invited her down to my house and she said no she couldnt come and when I said I'd get her a train ticket she scoffed and said unlike you I don't do public transport. She made snappy comments about me getting welfare too,
Frankly if that is her attitude then I would drop her. You are going through a difficult time being unemployed and a real friend would be sympathetic. The fact that she has cancelled meeting up with you a few times shows that she has little interest in your problems.
As for "I don't do public transport"
One day she might find herself unemployed and might realise that it isn't easy and that you do need some support.
Stop contacting her, concentrate on yourself and what you want in life.
cant live with them
cant kill them
I'd send her this if I was you OP
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S-l-c3rTlnE
She sounds like a nasty person these days. Pull back; don't text or call or contact her online. If you've held out the olive branch and asked her what's troubling her, and she's continued not to tell you but act like a real C.U.Next.Tuesday, then don't contact her at all. She'll work it out for herself, and hopefully contact you in the future. Good luck!
It sounds like you've tried to find out what's bothering her and that you've been very kind.
If I were you I'd tell her to **** off. Life's too short to spend it dealing with rude , nasty people.
If it still doesn't get anywhere and she's subsequently horrible to you again, you can end the conversation with something like "Ok well I've got to go now, I'm always here if you need me" and then leave it there, so you've effectively put the ball in her court and left it up to her if she wants to continue the friendship.
If she doesn't, then you can move on at least knowing you tried your best.
Just text her and tell that you're not happy with her nasty comments recently, and that it's probably best if you don't see each other for a bit.
However strong your friendship with her may have been, you're not under any obligation to take abusive comments.
As far as the comments above about her having problems, going through a hard time and taking it out on you, my response would be that if she was that good a friend, she would have confided in you.
To be honest I get seriously pissed off with people who suddenly and abruptly change towards you, without any obvious reason.
If she is having a tough time then that's a shame but you are not, I assume, a bone fide mind reader.
If you change the "Can't" to 'Can' and reverse the order in which you list them. Problem solved!
Then, when they were out of favour, she'd be nice to me again.
Why does she have a problem with you claiming welfare? Does she have a good job? It sounds as if she's lost respect for you and thinks she can treat you like crap now. Obviously she's not a good friend or a good person if that is true.