asking my bf to marry me

steve.l90steve.l90 Posts: 46
Forum Member
Hi

I need some advice here please. Ive been dating my boyfriend since early November. Im 20 and he’s 22.

I want to ask him to marry me (civil partnership), but i’m worried he will think that i’m rushing into it (and no doubt everyone will think I am.)

With all my bf’s, I have never had this feeling for anyone before, and I know its what I want to do.

I have no doubt in my mind, but do you think he will dismiss it as me being silly?

Is it worth the risk in asking him, or do I keep my feelings to myself?

Thank you
Steve.
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Comments

  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] Posts: 1,628
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    steve.l90 wrote: »
    Hi

    I need some advice here please. Ive been dating my boyfriend since early November. Im 20 and he’s 22.

    I want to ask him to marry me (civil partnership), but i’m worried he will think that i’m rushing into it (and no doubt everyone will think I am.)

    With all my bf’s, I have never had this feeling for anyone before, and I know its what I want to do.

    I have no doubt in my mind, but do you think he will dismiss it as me being silly?

    Is it worth the risk in asking him, or do I keep my feelings to myself?

    Thank you
    Steve.

    It's too soon and you're both too young. You've been dating this guy for 3 months? You've got to be kidding.
  • redstar81redstar81 Posts: 1,836
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    Too soon, too young. It should be years not months. Enjoy this time together and then think about the commitment stuff later.
  • robtuk06robtuk06 Posts: 4,561
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    If I was your boyfriend and you asked me after three months at age 20 I would run a mile sorry.
  • rehab_101rehab_101 Posts: 874
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    Just enjoy what you have right now. 3 months? You're still in the honeymoon period. Carry on enjoying it, carry on getting to know each other. Just have fun, dont rush into anything, its early days and although only a number you are both relatively young still.
  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] Posts: 6,664
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    for too soon, dont scare the poor guy, just feel things out, ask questions linked to how you feel and see if he feels the same way, give it a while and ask again, then if the feelings are same or stronger then you might ask, but now is too soon unless he's dropped hints.
  • curvybabescurvybabes Posts: 13,223
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    enjoy what u have
  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] Posts: 834
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    I feel for you, Steve. I'm also 20 and have been in my relationship for coming up to 10 months now. Pretty much since I met her, I've known that she's the person I want to spend the rest of my life with and we have talked about marriage...for our future life together. We both recognise that now is not the time for us to be married because there is so much to look forward to (notably finishing uni, getting jobs and moving in together) and we are both so young.

    It all comes down to you being 20 - enjoy your time with him, let things progress a bit more, and then see how you feel. Congratulations on finding someone you want to marry:)
  • CabbagesAhoy!CabbagesAhoy! Posts: 1,715
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    Rarely would I be so black and white - but don't DON'T do it.

    You are far too young. And at the risk of starting another debate a woman should never propose to a man. Especially one under thirty.
  • mourinhosmissusmourinhosmissus Posts: 5,592
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    Rarely would I be so black and white - but don't DON'T do it.

    You are far too young. And at the risk of starting another debate a woman should never propose to a man. Especially one under thirty.

    Aren't they both blokes?
  • chiller15chiller15 Posts: 4,194
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    It is far too early. I've been with my girl friend since I was 18 (now 23) and she was 16 (now 21). We have lived together for a couple of years now. I do plan on marrying her, but I think it is too soon, plugs marrige is very expensive.
  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] Posts: 2,006
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    Quite obvious to me that the OP is feeling insecure in the relationship. So a marriage would simply act as a glue. Also the beginning of any relationship is the honeymoon period where youre so excited and happy to be around each other. You'll be treating each other so well at the moment and it'll all be great. Wait till later on when things settle down to a normal way of life. Also if I got with someone and they were thinking of marriage 3 months later I'd be worried.
  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] Posts: 1,083
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    OP I proposed to my now wife (also civil partner) after 4 months together. The difference was that we knew each other for about 4 months before we started dating, and we were both in our 30's. I do think you are a little young, enjoy the relationship for what it is and in time you can think about getting engaged.
  • crazychris12crazychris12 Posts: 26,254
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    Bit quick if you ask me. What's the rush OP? Get to know each other better.
  • crazychris12crazychris12 Posts: 26,254
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    Rarely would I be so black and white - but don't DON'T do it.

    You are far too young. And at the risk of starting another debate a woman should never propose to a man. Especially one under thirty.

    It's a gay couple. Obvious from the first post.
  • CabbagesAhoy!CabbagesAhoy! Posts: 1,715
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    It's a gay couple. Obvious from the first post.

    Correct CrazyChris and I am a tit.

    With apologies to the OP - I am now going for a lie down and to have a word with myself.
  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] Posts: 1,229
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    steve.l90 wrote: »
    Hi

    I need some advice here please. Ive been dating my boyfriend since early November. Im 20 and he’s 22.

    I want to ask him to marry me (civil partnership), but i’m worried he will think that i’m rushing into it (and no doubt everyone will think I am.)

    With all my bf’s, I have never had this feeling for anyone before, and I know its what I want to do.

    I have no doubt in my mind, but do you think he will dismiss it as me being silly?

    Is it worth the risk in asking him, or do I keep my feelings to myself?

    Thank you
    Steve.

    Far too soon. If you still feel like this guy is the one and only for you in a years time then go for it :)
  • whackyracerwhackyracer Posts: 15,786
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    What's the hurry? Must admit that if I was asked this after 3 months it would freak me right out!
  • Roger MoreRoger More Posts: 561
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    Aren't they both blokes?

    Good Heavens!
  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] Posts: 9,333
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    steve.l90 wrote: »
    Hi

    I need some advice here please. Ive been dating my boyfriend since early November. Im 20 and he’s 22.

    I want to ask him to marry me (civil partnership), but i’m worried he will think that i’m rushing into it (and no doubt everyone will think I am.)

    With all my bf’s, I have never had this feeling for anyone before, and I know its what I want to do.

    I have no doubt in my mind, but do you think he will dismiss it as me being silly?

    Is it worth the risk in asking him, or do I keep my feelings to myself?

    Thank you
    Steve.

    awwwwww that is so sweet!!

    I do agree with other posters though that it's too soon, enjoy the newness of it all and each other. You're so young and have years for all the committment stuff, nothing's going to change, you'll still have him :)

    You can always talk about it in a couple more years, at least after you're living together, that can be the killer sometimes, you have to know you can live with someone else's habits!

    You sound really happy so just carry on as you are, I wish you both every happiness x x
  • whackyracerwhackyracer Posts: 15,786
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    Roger More wrote: »
    Good Heavens!

    Wasn't it obvious from the opening post? You're slipping dear boy!:D
  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] Posts: 2,748
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    and here was me thinking that it might not be time after 18 months to ask my bf to marry me.:eek:

    OP I think that you get the message from what people above have said. It is far too soon. I am not so convinced you are necessarily too young as some people are ready for marriage at that age.

    However you need to give it time. There's no rush surely!? You can be in a relationship, enjoy where it goes and develops.

    As your relationship matures it will get tonnes better than even now and you'll know when it's right rather than questioning it and asking people on a forum.

    If he's the one then he's not going to run away just because you've not proposed. But he may well back off by a premature proposal.
  • KidMoeKidMoe Posts: 5,851
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    Age and the length of time you have been going out is irrelevant. Don't listen to anyone who says things like "30 is too young" or "you've only been going out for 2 years" because it's nonsense.

    It's entirely down to the state of your relationship. Some people get engaged within a week and spend their lives together. Some get married after 10 years and end up divorced months later. Everybody's circumstances are different.

    If you know that your bf and you both want the same things out of the relationship then it's the right time. The most telling fact that you might not be quite there yet is that you are asking a bunch of complete strangers a question that nobody here could possibly know the answer to.
  • RAINBOWGIRL22RAINBOWGIRL22 Posts: 24,459
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    You are both too young and it's too soon....
  • mourinhosmissusmourinhosmissus Posts: 5,592
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    Roger More wrote: »
    Good Heavens!

    I know! Whatever next?! :D
  • AneechikAneechik Posts: 20,208
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    It's too soon and you're too young.
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