I wish Bio would repeat it in non HD, for those of us who haven't got HD television. It's not fair. I got an email from Bio promising me a Chawnerthon in May, but they failed to mention I would have to buy a new TV to watch it on. :mad: Rotten lot.
I want to see all three series, preferably back to back, over the course of a dull weekend, with a large amount of alcoholic beverages to hand, and a family packet of ready salted crisps. It would make this cold miserable weather almost bearable.
I'll bring vodka, an assortment of fizzy pop and some onion rings to the Chawnfest.
I wish Bio would repeat it in non HD, for those of us who haven't got HD television. It's not fair. I got an email from Bio promising me a Chawnerthon in May, but they failed to mention I would have to buy a new TV to watch it on. :mad: Rotten lot.
I want to see all three series, preferably back to back, over the course of a dull weekend, with a large amount of alcoholic beverages to hand, and a family packet of ready salted crisps. It would make this cold miserable weather almost bearable.
They're doing it on purpose so the chawnz can't watch it because they haven't got HD. Genius!
You're not missing much, in fact its worse in H,D because every single nose hair and burst capillary is picked out in glorious hi-res .... Grim
I'm sure we all know chubby people, I certainly do, and they aren't constantly taunted, ridiculed and tormented for their size, and no-one has ever thrown paint at their houses. What on earth do the Chawners do to inspire such undiluted hatred?
Yup - I've even been a part of a fat family in Bristol and we never had paint daubed outside the house - unless Dad was decorating! So it's not a Bristol thing - let me assure thee (as us farmers say)
Poor old Brizzle had to put up with them for decades before they moved, they're lucky they only got their house painted! I bet living near them was like Chinese water torture. Drip drip drip until the neighbours finally snap! I wonder what Phil n Aud's families were like before they got married. I would hazard a guess they were "odd".
Well, I was dead against a HD tv at the time cos we needed a garage door not a new tv, but I'm glad now. For those of you who can't watch, I'll do a kinda running commentary.
Oh, here we go. Jenny goes to dog training. Looking at Emma doing the training, she's plump but I wouldn't say she was unemployably obese. She's not that bad. Aye aye, Audrey's pulling the dog training apart.
Aargh! Close up of Phil's feet! OMG, Emma, don't spread the dogs front legs apart you stupid cow!! The dog is growling and citing you for a reason.
Now its Sam's theory test "If I'd have had only 18 more points I'd have passed". Isn't that classed as an 'epic fail'?! Obviously, Phil n Em have bogged off to forage for food in Asda and left Sam standing outside the test centre. They should have left her there. One less shouty mouth to feed with their 20k.
Lorraine's really emphasising about Phil not being able to work cos he's listed as Audrey's carer. Only a few minutes later in the fruit market (cos they're doing fruit baskets) he moans at Audrey for looking unkempt. The toad! Ha ha ha! Lorraine you dirty mare, she's saying "I bet its been a while since Phil played with any melons"! ..... Oh no, bad mental image forming.
Moan moan moan, they've just got loads of stuff for free and Phil's berating it.
IT'S THE AUDREY STAIR F*RT MOMENT!!
Now Phil's telling her off for making a show of them on camera LOL. Next out of his mouth is making sure everyone knows Audrey has wee'd on the ribbon reel. Well, as Lorraine says, you're her CARER Phil, so go and give her a shower and clean clothes.
Here they go, doing their charity work. Surely this proves to the benefits agency that neither Audrey or Phil need sick benefits.
Audrey's skipped out on the dog show. Don't blame her. I wouldn't waste my time spending the day with people who hate me. Ha ha, just cos the cameras are there Sam n Em refuse to eat burgers and go to Tesco for a butty (yeah, and the rest!). Surprise surprise they're not back in time for the first round of the dog show.
Jenny, you're a naughty naughty dog. OMG, out of Sam's mouth about Jenny "I think she's more famous than anything else"
It's nice that they can leave Audrey all day. When I looked after my mum I had to wait until someone took over or she went into respite before I could go on a day out without her.
Look at Sam. All chuffed about her new boyfriend. Confessing to Dan, she has no clue about what Phil has in store for her. She's talking about getting engaged and stuff. Phil, you're a hateful pig ruining your daughter's life like that.
She's saying she's worried about telling her dad cos she said in the past he's told her n Em that if they ever got a boyfriend he'd kick them out. What a twonk!
Well I have found the answer for the Chawns - and I require some love here folks -:D:D:
I have just had invisible teeth aligners fitted. You have to take them out when you eat and clean etc etc. and must be in for 22 hrs per day. Bang goes the snacking, really isn't worth the effort and will be a size 0 very soon :eek::eek::eek::eek::D:D:
I suppose the problem with the Chunks is that they haven't really got any proper teeth to align.
As for the chunks,, wherever they go, they cause mayhem...& manage to get people to welcome them & feel sorry for them...& In time, these kind people realise what numpties the Chunkies are, & drive them out of town... Yep I think Scotland may be their next homeland,,, As the NZ,, have deffo cottoned on to them.There will be a Public Holiday here in Lancs if they move...;)
Yesterday Aud was insistent that Kelvin McKenzie didn't go to their house. They all were quite vocal about him not seeing their "stuff" - I think that means mega mounds of crap. Do they not realise that can see their "stuff" on the telly like the rest of us?
I expect in hindsight he is quite glad he didn't go to their house.
It's a pity the cameramen didn't get out of going there.
Lorraine was smart and kept them at arm's length.
I find myself chuckling or spitting feathers every time I read a recap. Keep em coming Loopy.
Though I want to watch them myself.*stamps foot * at Bio and ruddy HD. :mad:
Content yourself (or not as the case might be ) that it is the day time edit so we are missing the very worst (best) of what happens.
I am sure that BIO will keep repeating this again and again , as many a stalwart CoC has said before (Alfie wazn't here) they are the gift that keeps on giving:D
To be fair, Barbidoll, I did say I found the Northern people nice.
It's just that it was the most stressful, horrible time of my life. To move 400 miles away from your home and slowly watch your Mum die -in a place where you know noone- was awful.
And, sorry, after my miles of clean sandy beaches, Morecambe mud just doesn't cut it.
I've just remembered one thing in Morecambe that always made me smile, whenever I drove past.....ERIC[/QUOTE
I can totally see where you are coming from Tally,,, Im understanding your reasons for disliking the areas mentioned, due to your unhappy memories..I .didnt mean to sound pricky, or offensive...As long as other CoC, dont get put off..the North & in particular the towns you mentioned..Oh!!! & Yes Eric is a legend!!!
And as for sending the Chunkies to Scotland..ok we wont,,, Any suggestions as to where we can send them though....???? Argentina???? As the chunks seem to enjoy a bit of Argi-Bargi,, ( northern saying),
Just had a fab idea. What about a Karl Pilkington type "Idiots Abroad" and get Ricky Gervais to force them to bungy jump and wing walk (poor plane!).
It serves two purposes, they get a "holiday" and possibly lose weight in the process. And we can shut the borders while they're gone.
Of course, their insurance would be the cost of the national debt, but what price for a quiet life?!
What an awesome idea...I love Karl Pilkington...My favourite one was when he did Blind wresteling.. Everytime I watch that clip, I have to make sure I have my super-sized tenna lady on,, (Unlike Aud!!!)...The first episode with the Chunkies, could be filmed in Thailand or Africa, where they have to ride on the elephants.... Oh, heck!!, "they would be the elephants." !!!:D
What an awesome idea...I love Karl Pilkington...My favourite one was when he did Blind wresteling.. Everytime I watch that clip, I have to make sure I have my super-sized tenna lady on,, (Unlike Aud!!!)...The first episode with the Chunkies, could be filmed in Thailand or Africa, where they have to ride on the elephants.... Oh, heck!!, "they would be the elephants." !!!:D
It doesn't have to be so exotic. They could send them to Albufeira and tell them to find their way to zoomarine. Honestly, I've used public transport in most places I've been to, but have never had an ordeal like that. Unhelpful tourist info sending us miles on foot to the bus station, a bus driver who shot past the place and wouldn't stop until we were 10 miles down the road in the next ghost town which didn't have a return service. Seriously, the chawnz would lose stones!
Because I'm avoiding the news for the next 3 months as I'm fed up of Olympics non-news, I've shoved the chawners on again.
More chawner stuff:
I missed the summer holiday yesterday. When Emma throws a mug of cold water over her mum while she's snoozing in the sun. Audrey's just got out of hospital with C severe asthma attack. Now, my asthma is sporadic and mostly mild, but if someone chucked cold water on me like that my lung branches would close up like a clam! Hateful girl, Emma. Never mind, Audrey will have her revenge from the grave when Emma's older and needing an oxygen tank to breathe after a lifetime of smoking.
Then before Sam takes her theory test she's crying again about how she'd like her mum to accompany her but she won't because she's a "lazy fat cow". If anyone talked about me like that, the only place I'd accompany them to is to the end of my boot!
Phil is back to posting Chawner news on Facebook, so much for his self-imposed ban. Before wishing New Zealand a good weekend like he always does, he posted this.
Good morning we all hope you all have a good weekend with your family’s we are all of two Bristol and have a look around on Saturday so you all take care love Phil and family xxxx
This post is notable though for including capitalisation and even an apostrophe which is a major step forward for Phil, of course it is in the wrong place, but still a good effort there.
"We are all of two Bristol" though is a fantastic howler.
Maybe my praise of Phil is unwarranted. I beginning to think he's using a spell checker and just blindly accepting its suggestions.
I also notice he's 'liked' MTV Japan alongside the NZ broadcaster TV One. Does this mean the Chawners are going to be big in Japan? It's only fair though, we've been baffled by their TV shows for years so let them try and make sense of this one.
Big in Japan?! They'd be ruddy massive in Japan, those people are titchy. I can just see it now, Sam n Em cause mayhem in Tokyo, screaming at people because there's nothing to eat but "foreign muck". The military finally subdue them, everyone breathes a sigh of relief then......the ground vibrates, the vibrations grow more violent as out of the sea emerges Ma n Pa Chawn to retrieve their babies and wreak revenge on the city.
Comments
I'll bring vodka, an assortment of fizzy pop and some onion rings to the Chawnfest.
They're doing it on purpose so the chawnz can't watch it because they haven't got HD. Genius!
You're not missing much, in fact its worse in H,D because every single nose hair and burst capillary is picked out in glorious hi-res .... Grim
Me too:mad::mad:
If we slag them off does it make us Chawnist?
Yup - I've even been a part of a fat family in Bristol and we never had paint daubed outside the house - unless Dad was decorating!
Me three. I'm going off to have a huge cry like Sam, or list the family illnesses like Phil.
Aargh! Close up of Phil's feet! OMG, Emma, don't spread the dogs front legs apart you stupid cow!! The dog is growling and citing you for a reason.
Now its Sam's theory test "If I'd have had only 18 more points I'd have passed". Isn't that classed as an 'epic fail'?! Obviously, Phil n Em have bogged off to forage for food in Asda and left Sam standing outside the test centre. They should have left her there. One less shouty mouth to feed with their 20k.
ADVERT
Moan moan moan, they've just got loads of stuff for free and Phil's berating it.
IT'S THE AUDREY STAIR F*RT MOMENT!!
Now Phil's telling her off for making a show of them on camera LOL. Next out of his mouth is making sure everyone knows Audrey has wee'd on the ribbon reel. Well, as Lorraine says, you're her CARER Phil, so go and give her a shower and clean clothes.
Here they go, doing their charity work. Surely this proves to the benefits agency that neither Audrey or Phil need sick benefits.
ADVERT!
Audrey's skipped out on the dog show. Don't blame her. I wouldn't waste my time spending the day with people who hate me. Ha ha, just cos the cameras are there Sam n Em refuse to eat burgers and go to Tesco for a butty (yeah, and the rest!). Surprise surprise they're not back in time for the first round of the dog show.
Jenny, you're a naughty naughty dog. OMG, out of Sam's mouth about Jenny "I think she's more famous than anything else"
It's nice that they can leave Audrey all day. When I looked after my mum I had to wait until someone took over or she went into respite before I could go on a day out without her.
Look at Sam. All chuffed about her new boyfriend. Confessing to Dan, she has no clue about what Phil has in store for her. She's talking about getting engaged and stuff. Phil, you're a hateful pig ruining your daughter's life like that.
She's saying she's worried about telling her dad cos she said in the past he's told her n Em that if they ever got a boyfriend he'd kick them out. What a twonk!
I have just had invisible teeth aligners fitted. You have to take them out when you eat and clean etc etc. and must be in for 22 hrs per day. Bang goes the snacking, really isn't worth the effort and will be a size 0 very soon :eek::eek::eek::eek::D:D:
I suppose the problem with the Chunks is that they haven't really got any proper teeth to align.
God I am hungry
No! We don't want them!
His nosehair is EPIC :eek: Especially the ones coming out of his left nostril. You could swing from it! (not that you'd want to
It's a pity the cameramen didn't get out of going there.
Lorraine was smart and kept them at arm's length.
Content yourself (or not as the case might be
I am sure that BIO will keep repeating this again and again , as many a stalwart CoC has said before (Alfie wazn't here) they are the gift that keeps on giving:D
I want to see how bad they are (stamps feet and has tantrum).
It serves two purposes, they get a "holiday" and possibly lose weight in the process. And we can shut the borders while they're gone.
Of course, their insurance would be the cost of the national debt, but what price for a quiet life?!
What an awesome idea...I love Karl Pilkington...My favourite one was when he did Blind wresteling.. Everytime I watch that clip, I have to make sure I have my super-sized tenna lady on,, (Unlike Aud!!!)...The first episode with the Chunkies, could be filmed in Thailand or Africa, where they have to ride on the elephants.... Oh, heck!!, "they would be the elephants." !!!:D
It doesn't have to be so exotic. They could send them to Albufeira and tell them to find their way to zoomarine. Honestly, I've used public transport in most places I've been to, but have never had an ordeal like that. Unhelpful tourist info sending us miles on foot to the bus station, a bus driver who shot past the place and wouldn't stop until we were 10 miles down the road in the next ghost town which didn't have a return service. Seriously, the chawnz would lose stones!
More chawner stuff:
Then before Sam takes her theory test she's crying again about how she'd like her mum to accompany her but she won't because she's a "lazy fat cow". If anyone talked about me like that, the only place I'd accompany them to is to the end of my boot!
This post is notable though for including capitalisation and even an apostrophe which is a major step forward for Phil, of course it is in the wrong place, but still a good effort there.
"We are all of two Bristol" though is a fantastic howler.
Maybe my praise of Phil is unwarranted. I beginning to think he's using a spell checker and just blindly accepting its suggestions.
I also notice he's 'liked' MTV Japan alongside the NZ broadcaster TV One. Does this mean the Chawners are going to be big in Japan? It's only fair though, we've been baffled by their TV shows for years so let them try and make sense of this one.