I try not to judge mothers (or fathers), it can't be easy raising a child (or several of similar ages). So if a toddler is screaming in a cafe and they won't quieten, then I don't blame the parents that's what toddlers are like. Like the case in the OP that's what you do with children, I can't even imagine the places as a child I had to go pee immediately at.
But what infuriates me is when you get these women who swear at the child, I heard one woman say "Shut the f*** up you little sh*t". That's appalling, I don't know about you but if someone said that to me even at my age now, it would upset me, never mind at 4/5 year old. Then when they cry they get told it again, its disgusting. I mean that's going to lead to your kid just not listening to you.
It will lead the kids to treating other people they way their parents have treated them.:(
I judged my sister the other week when she hit her 4 year old son so hard it made a sound. Kind of the sound you make when someone hits you on your back hard to stop you from choking on your food. I was just gob-smacked as I didn't know she smacked her kids but was more shocked at how hard she hit him. I will never be a parent but cannot understand how hitting someone will teach them anything meaningful in the long term. I mean how are you going to teach them hitting someone is bad when you have practised hitting as a form of discipline?
Well strange story but I was sitting in a cafe and I gazed aross out the window and I saw some young mum pull down her son's trousers and pants as bold as brass, lift him, had his feet against the wall of Phones 4 U as he urinated down it, then popped him down, got him dressed and wandered off as if it was the normal thing in the world. This is in the midde of a town center. Is it just me but is there something fishy about that?
I suppose it's not too bad as long as her son wasn't a teenager or such.
My parents used to do this on 'long' walks/days when I needed it NOW and not in 10/15 minutes time. It's like when you see a car pull into a lay by on the motorway and out comes a parent with a child. You know exactly why!
When I was about 2 or 3 I needed the toilet and my parents stopped on a layby and took the potty out of the car and I used that. Don't know what happened to the, er, contents of it though but I would have never done it in the street. I was always taken to the toilet or on a day out the potty was kept in the car.
mybe the nearby cafes etc dont welcome people popping in to just use the toilets?
would you rather the kid peed his pants and had to walk around in discomfort, cold etc?
What about BHS, Debs, M&S or PUBLIC toilets. It was in the middle of the town centre.
I can understand if you're somewhere where there's no toilets around - and bearing in the mind the OP was sitting in a cafe opposite (so must have been loos there).
For me I don't think it's necessary these days.
And no of course I wouldn't rather the kid peed his pants but it is the responsibility of his mother to take him to a toilet rather than pee up against a bloody shop window.
Just a wee bit of discretion wouldn't come amiss, but other than that, if you are under 5, when you've gotta go, you've gotta go. It happens. I wouldn't have let my kids pee down a shop window, would have run to a quieter spot, but I don't like to be stared at. Some people don't give a damn. The swearing at the kids, yes, you see that from time to time. Nasty.
If i ever needed to piss as a kid and there wasn't a toilet nearby my mama or papa would take me behind a bush or somewhere else suitably secluded and i'd go there.
If i saw a parent allowing their kid to piss in the street in full view of everyone, i'd probably make some judgements too. I haven't seen that though, as of yet anyway.
I judged my sister the other week when she hit her 4 year old son so hard it made a sound. Kind of the sound you make when someone hits you on your back hard to stop you from choking on your food. I was just gob-smacked as I didn't know she smacked her kids but was more shocked at how hard she hit him. I will never be a parent but cannot understand how hitting someone will teach them anything meaningful in the long term. I mean how are you going to teach them hitting someone is bad when you have practised hitting as a form of discipline?
I don't want to get into a debate about smacking or anything, but the brains of children are still developing, and a smack when they're doing something is negative reinforcement - it's an immediate imprint associating a particular action (that merited punishment) with negative consequences, therefore teaching them (on an instinctual level) not to repeat said action. Smacking as a form of discipline for children doesn't mean they're grow up thinking it's okay though. It's more complex than that.
Smacking doesn't always work, and there are obviously different methods. I don't think it's abuse though and really i wouldn't judge a parent for it.
When my boys were little a few times they were caught short and there was no toilets we could use. Found a grid in a discreet place. Would never have done it openly in front of a shop.
Yes, when I hear parents telling their kids to ''F***in shut up or I'll knock you out'' etc.
I wouldn't judge a parent for letting their toddler wee in the street though, yes it's unpleasent but some young children just can't hold on to it long enough to find the nearest public toilet.
Young mother with a toddler who was in one of those kiddie-car things.
They arrive at a street corner and the kid, who is obviously having great fun in the kiddie-car, heads straight off the pavement into the empty road.
The mother grabs hold of the car and pulls the kid back onto the pavement while saying (in a really relaxed, pleasant voice) "Oh, come here you f**king stupid little cow. You really are pretty f**king stupid, aren't you?"
All this was said in a calm, pleasant tone of voice with a smile on her face.
I found this quite shocking TBH.
Terrific way to instill a negative self-image in the kid from an early age.
Get her nice and ready for when she decides to marry a wife-beater.
At this point my missus came out of a shop and I was just about to tell her what I saw when the woman waved at my missus and she went over to chat.
I decided to just keep it to myself.
Yes, when I hear parents telling their kids to ''F***in shut up or I'll knock you out'' etc.
I wouldn't judge a parent for letting their toddler wee in the street though, yes it's unpleasent but some young children just can't hold on to it long enough to find the nearest public toilet.
parents who say these things have bad tempers and very little patience they usualy do it out of anger. But I don't think it's really going to improve the child's behaviour by shouting idol threats at them. It just makes them worse. And then they start yelling at people too, and swearing.
parents who say these things have bad tempers and very little patience they usualy do it out of anger. But I don't think it's really going to improve the child's behaviour by shouting idol threats at them. It just makes them worse. And then they start yelling at people too, and swearing.
I agree and punishing or shouting at someone out of anger never works.
I know when I get angry with my OH he just totally ignores me - and vice versa!
Well strange story but I was sitting in a cafe and I gazed aross out the window and I saw some young mum pull down her son's trousers and pants as bold as brass, lift him, had his feet against the wall of Phones 4 U as he urinated down it, then popped him down, got him dressed and wandered off as if it was the normal thing in the world. This is in the midde of a town center. Is it just me but is there something fishy about that?
I am confused about the 'fishy' bit, could you explain what you think is 'fishy' about it?
As a parent I know how hard it can be with little ones. At a young age they are not experienced or built up the muscles in their bladders to wait very long at all. When they need to go, they need to go.
I have had the problem of being told the loo is needed, but while rushing to the nearest one, found it too late and then had to deal with wet pants and trousers.
It sounds awful to most people, parents shouting and swearing at their kids, but to the kids who hear it all the time it's not scary to them at all.
When I was a kid we had a nearby neighbour who shouted and screamed at her kids all the time and I was terrified of her. As I got older I realised that her kids all loved her to bits and she had a genuinely kind heart, her house is now constantly filled with her grown up children and grandchildren.
She still has a foul mouth but I have learnt to look past this and see the love and affection she has for her family.
Point being, that some people discipline their kids in different ways, a brief snapshot shouldn't always be the basis of your judgement on someones parenting skills.
It sounds awful to most people, parents shouting and swearing at their kids, but to the kids who hear it all the time it's not scary to them at all.
When I was a kid we had a nearby neighbour who shouted and screamed at her kids all the time and I was terrified of her. As I got older I realised that her kids all loved her to bits and she had a genuinely kind heart, her house is now constantly filled with her grown up children and grandchildren.
She still has a foul mouth but I have learnt to look past this and see the love and affection she has for her family.
Point being, that some people discipline their kids in different ways, a brief snapshot shouldn't always be the basis of your judgement on someones parenting skills.
Well it depends on how far it goes some parents shout and swear a lot yeh and they are quite strict with their children, but they have a good side too...
but calling a child a stupid little bitch or something like that is emotional abuse in my oppinion. And it does upset them. being called stupid and being told to piss off constantly, can lead to all sorts of emotion problems. I think it's just bullying and parents shouldn't do it.
I visited London Zoo this week and as I went round I came across a couple with their three small children on several occasions. On each and every occasion I crossed their path, the mum and dad were on their mobiles to friends ( I know it was to friends because they were talking loudly and I couldn't help but hear the conversation). At no time did I see them interact with their children or share the zoo experience with them.
Now, I suspect that they really believe they spent quality time with their children. But in truth the kids were on their own.
Comments
It will lead the kids to treating other people they way their parents have treated them.:(
Was he on a contract or did he have to pee as you go
surely?
I bet he had a wii at home.
I suppose it's not too bad as long as her son wasn't a teenager or such.
When I was about 2 or 3 I needed the toilet and my parents stopped on a layby and took the potty out of the car and I used that. Don't know what happened to the, er, contents of it though but I would have never done it in the street. I was always taken to the toilet or on a day out the potty was kept in the car.
What about BHS, Debs, M&S or PUBLIC toilets. It was in the middle of the town centre.
I can understand if you're somewhere where there's no toilets around - and bearing in the mind the OP was sitting in a cafe opposite (so must have been loos there).
For me I don't think it's necessary these days.
And no of course I wouldn't rather the kid peed his pants but it is the responsibility of his mother to take him to a toilet rather than pee up against a bloody shop window.
If i saw a parent allowing their kid to piss in the street in full view of everyone, i'd probably make some judgements too. I haven't seen that though, as of yet anyway.
I don't want to get into a debate about smacking or anything, but the brains of children are still developing, and a smack when they're doing something is negative reinforcement - it's an immediate imprint associating a particular action (that merited punishment) with negative consequences, therefore teaching them (on an instinctual level) not to repeat said action. Smacking as a form of discipline for children doesn't mean they're grow up thinking it's okay though. It's more complex than that.
Smacking doesn't always work, and there are obviously different methods. I don't think it's abuse though and really i wouldn't judge a parent for it.
Yes, when I hear parents telling their kids to ''F***in shut up or I'll knock you out'' etc.
I wouldn't judge a parent for letting their toddler wee in the street though, yes it's unpleasent but some young children just can't hold on to it long enough to find the nearest public toilet.
Sounds a bit like this but real..!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5W6kiX_9k3U
:eek:
Why do you say there was something fishy about it in your OP?
parents who say these things have bad tempers and very little patience they usualy do it out of anger. But I don't think it's really going to improve the child's behaviour by shouting idol threats at them. It just makes them worse. And then they start yelling at people too, and swearing.
I agree and punishing or shouting at someone out of anger never works.
I know when I get angry with my OH he just totally ignores me - and vice versa!
I am confused about the 'fishy' bit, could you explain what you think is 'fishy' about it?
As a parent I know how hard it can be with little ones. At a young age they are not experienced or built up the muscles in their bladders to wait very long at all. When they need to go, they need to go.
I have had the problem of being told the loo is needed, but while rushing to the nearest one, found it too late and then had to deal with wet pants and trousers.
When I was a kid we had a nearby neighbour who shouted and screamed at her kids all the time and I was terrified of her. As I got older I realised that her kids all loved her to bits and she had a genuinely kind heart, her house is now constantly filled with her grown up children and grandchildren.
She still has a foul mouth but I have learnt to look past this and see the love and affection she has for her family.
Point being, that some people discipline their kids in different ways, a brief snapshot shouldn't always be the basis of your judgement on someones parenting skills.
She was exposing her child for all to see.
Despite the most fervent efforts of the press, most parents realise that the vast majority of the general public are not sexual deviants;)
She was letting the child have a pee!!!!!
Jeez.
Ah I see. Well my son has had a wee behind every tree in the village so I'm sure a fair few people have seen his winkle. I think they'll get over it.
Well it depends on how far it goes some parents shout and swear a lot yeh and they are quite strict with their children, but they have a good side too...
but calling a child a stupid little bitch or something like that is emotional abuse in my oppinion. And it does upset them. being called stupid and being told to piss off constantly, can lead to all sorts of emotion problems. I think it's just bullying and parents shouldn't do it.
Now, I suspect that they really believe they spent quality time with their children. But in truth the kids were on their own.