I'm about the same age as you and I agree. I think Tom is particularly vulnerable; he lost his father at a young age and has really devoted his life to one thing, so he would be very sheltered in ways.
A 40 year old has nothing in common with a 20 year old. Dustin probably has a rather weak personality and enjoys being able to dominate younger men.
Perhaps I wouldnt put it that strongly, but obviously at 41 and single you may want to get settled and committed fairly soon, but why seek out or encourage a (then) 19 year old for that purpose?
People say Tom Daley has had a broad and fast-tracked life experience. In terms of relationships? Really? He was still saying he was straight until a few years ago.
At his age I was living it up in Cambridge with gay and straight friends, carefree and living my youth. That didn't mean profligacy or bonking everything in sight, it just meant being a young person, making mistakes, learning, being.
Even by anyone's standards,getting engaged at 21 these days seems like rushing it tbh.
Add to that the significant age difference and that Tom Daley has only acknowledged his gay identity fairly recently, and it seems even moreso.
I wish them well and for Tom to be happy, but I think the (relatively) old man should have let Tom be a young man.
Perhaps I wouldnt put it that strongly, but obviously at 41 and single you may want to get settled and committed fairly soon, but why seek out or encourage a (then) 19 year old for that purpose?
People say Tom Daley has had a broad and fast-tracked life experience. In terms of relationships? Really? He was still saying he was straight until a few years ago.
At his age I was living it up in Cambridge with gay and straight friends, carefree and living my youth. That didn't mean profligacy or bonking everything in sight, it just meant being a young person, making mistakes, learning, being.
Even by anyone's standards,getting engaged at 21 these days seems like rushing it tbh.
Add to that the significant age difference and that Tom Daley has only acknowledged his gay identity fairly recently, and it seems even moreso.
I wish them well and for Tom to be happy, but I think the (relatively) old man should have let Tom be a young man.
The only thing a 40 year old could have in common with a teenager is sex. Tom probably views Dustin as a surrogate father figure, but that doesn't seem like the basis for an equal relationship to me.
Yep and when GQ suggested it people went ballistic claiming homophobia, Gawker I think it was did to a rather substantial piece about this casting couch type scene in LA. DLB was only mentioned once as the piece was about Bryan Singer but it wasn't difficult to see what exactly goes on and it was suggested DLB had similar tastes to Singer and attended similar parties.
I'd be interested to read more about that -Do you have a link please?
Not everyone is the same though, so it doesn't necessarily mean there's anything untoward going on.
What do you mean by untoward? That's a broad word.
If you mean there is nothing illegal going on, I'd totally agree.
Put it like this, do you think it's a good idea for a young man at the age of 21 to commit to a 41 year old in an engagement of marriage, when this is his first real relationship?
Who in that context do you think may be hastening the process on?
What do you mean by untoward? That's a broad word.
If you mean there is nothing illegal going on, I'd totally agree.
Put it like this, do you think it's a good idea for a young man at the age of 21 to commit to a 41 year old in an engagement of marriage, when this is his first real relationship?
Who in that context do you think may be hastening the process on?
Given I'm the only one on the thread that's actually met Dustin, I can safely say I doubt anything untoward is going on.
Lots of people marry their first love. It's no big deal.
From what I've heard, it was actually Tom that went after Dustin, rather than the other way around.
I notice there wasn't this same criticism from the same quarters of Stephen Fry who has a similar age gap in his relationship.
For me, in some cases, and I'm not necessarily referring to anyone in particular, there's a lot of jealousy going on, a lot of people who would like Tom for themselves are slagging off Dustin.
These two are happy, it doesn't appear like anything worrying is going on, and Tom has enough people around him, that if it was, he could get help.
Will it work? Who knows? They've lasted two years though, so it's not like it's been decided on a whim.
How do you know it wasn't Tom pushing the marriage idea?
Just because Dustin is older doesn't mean it's all on him.
I think the public is very protective towards Tom. He's one of the nation's sweethearts. It may not be fair to Dustin but a lot of people will not be happy that Tom's got so mixed up with him. I don't think there'd be an issue if it was a guy or girl in their early-mid 20s.
He reminds me of my grandson and it sickens me to think that this is just a phase he is going through. Time to take stock.
I seriously doubt Tom would have come out in the glare of the world's press just for 'a phase he's going through.' I find that quite an outdated and offensive remark.
Given I'm the only one on the thread that's actually met Dustin, I can safely say I doubt anything untoward is going on.
Lots of people marry their first love. It's no big deal.
From what I've heard, it was actually Tom that went after Dustin, rather than the other way around.
I notice there wasn't this same criticism from the same quarters of Stephen Fry who has a similar age gap in his relationship.
For me, in some cases, and I'm not necessarily referring to anyone in particular, there's a lot of jealousy going on, a lot of people who would like Tom for themselves are slagging off Dustin.
These two are happy, it doesn't appear like anything worrying is going on, and Tom has enough people around him, that if it was, he could get help.
Will it work? Who knows? They've lasted two years though, so it's not like it's been decided on a whim.
How do you know it wasn't Tom pushing the marriage idea?
Just because Dustin is older doesn't mean it's all on him.
With respect, there was masses of similar criticism to here when Fry got married.
I think with Stephen Fry, it was the reverse. People were worried about him, the older partner.
Most stuff I read was similar to the criticisms on this thread here - people hand wringing about the age difference and criticising both of them - him for being a 'dirty old man' and his young husband for being a 'golddigger' or 'star f*cker'.
I do find it weird that a few people on the the thread have been imagining what they get up to in the bedroom, I can't say it's a thought that crossed my mind.
Given I'm the only one on the thread that's actually met Dustin, I can safely say I doubt anything untoward is going on.
Lots of people marry their first love. It's no big deal.
From what I've heard, it was actually Tom that went after Dustin, rather than the other way around.
I notice there wasn't this same criticism from the same quarters of Stephen Fry who has a similar age gap in his relationship.
For me, in some cases, and I'm not necessarily referring to anyone in particular, there's a lot of jealousy going on, a lot of people who would like Tom for themselves are slagging off Dustin.
These two are happy, it doesn't appear like anything worrying is going on, and Tom has enough people around him, that if it was, he could get help.
Will it work? Who knows? They've lasted two years though, so it's not like it's been decided on a whim.
How do you know it wasn't Tom pushing the marriage idea?
Just because Dustin is older doesn't mean it's all on him.
You've met him and he smiled and was nice - so what?
It has very little to do with jealousy and everything to do with logic and common sense. Maybe you just can't be objective.
Given I'm the only one on the thread that's actually met Dustin, I can safely say I doubt anything untoward is going on.
Lots of people marry their first love. It's no big deal.
From what I've heard, it was actually Tom that went after Dustin, rather than the other way around.
I notice there wasn't this same criticism from the same quarters of Stephen Fry who has a similar age gap in his relationship.
For me, in some cases, and I'm not necessarily referring to anyone in particular, there's a lot of jealousy going on, a lot of people who would like Tom for themselves are slagging off Dustin.
These two are happy, it doesn't appear like anything worrying is going on, and Tom has enough people around him, that if it was, he could get help.
Will it work? Who knows? They've lasted two years though, so it's not like it's been decided on a whim.
How do you know it wasn't Tom pushing the marriage idea?
Just because Dustin is older doesn't mean it's all on him.
Firstly he was preaching safe sex around the time the video came out and secondly that is not the only reason people think he's shady, he along with Bryan Singer and Ronald Emmerich have a reputation around Hollywood and its a seedy one.
How do you know Lance doesn't have safe sex? The guy he was shown with in that leaked video might have been a relationship and they may have known each other well, in which case trusted each other and not used protection...that's how relationships work. Also, you say he has a reputation around Hollywood and it's a seedy one apparently...a reputation for what? Gay man goes out and has fun. Shock horror. Has he ever cheated on anyone? Has he ever slept around without using protection with people he's not in a relationship with? As far as you know, no, he hasn't. There's a lot of jealous people on this forum.
I do find something very 'odd' about this particular pairing - and can't deny the age-gap factor within that. Although, I recall that Joan Collins has way over 20 years on her current 'lifetime love' and they've been together for yonks now... ^_^
I think the most 'off' thing about this engagement, is that this is (presumed) Tom's first serious relationship, I think at 21 it's a bit hasty to be tied down when you haven't enjoyed life and explored... if you know what I mean.
Comments
Perhaps I wouldnt put it that strongly, but obviously at 41 and single you may want to get settled and committed fairly soon, but why seek out or encourage a (then) 19 year old for that purpose?
People say Tom Daley has had a broad and fast-tracked life experience. In terms of relationships? Really? He was still saying he was straight until a few years ago.
At his age I was living it up in Cambridge with gay and straight friends, carefree and living my youth. That didn't mean profligacy or bonking everything in sight, it just meant being a young person, making mistakes, learning, being.
Even by anyone's standards,getting engaged at 21 these days seems like rushing it tbh.
Add to that the significant age difference and that Tom Daley has only acknowledged his gay identity fairly recently, and it seems even moreso.
I wish them well and for Tom to be happy, but I think the (relatively) old man should have let Tom be a young man.
The only thing a 40 year old could have in common with a teenager is sex. Tom probably views Dustin as a surrogate father figure, but that doesn't seem like the basis for an equal relationship to me.
Not everyone is the same though, so it doesn't necessarily mean there's anything untoward going on.
For what it's worth he'd be too young for me too, but I can see why someone would be interested in him.
What do you mean by untoward? That's a broad word.
If you mean there is nothing illegal going on, I'd totally agree.
Put it like this, do you think it's a good idea for a young man at the age of 21 to commit to a 41 year old in an engagement of marriage, when this is his first real relationship?
Who in that context do you think may be hastening the process on?
Given I'm the only one on the thread that's actually met Dustin, I can safely say I doubt anything untoward is going on.
Lots of people marry their first love. It's no big deal.
From what I've heard, it was actually Tom that went after Dustin, rather than the other way around.
I notice there wasn't this same criticism from the same quarters of Stephen Fry who has a similar age gap in his relationship.
For me, in some cases, and I'm not necessarily referring to anyone in particular, there's a lot of jealousy going on, a lot of people who would like Tom for themselves are slagging off Dustin.
These two are happy, it doesn't appear like anything worrying is going on, and Tom has enough people around him, that if it was, he could get help.
Will it work? Who knows? They've lasted two years though, so it's not like it's been decided on a whim.
How do you know it wasn't Tom pushing the marriage idea?
Just because Dustin is older doesn't mean it's all on him.
I seriously doubt Tom would have come out in the glare of the world's press just for 'a phase he's going through.' I find that quite an outdated and offensive remark.
With respect, there was masses of similar criticism to here when Fry got married.
Most stuff I read was similar to the criticisms on this thread here - people hand wringing about the age difference and criticising both of them - him for being a 'dirty old man' and his young husband for being a 'golddigger' or 'star f*cker'.
I wasn't referring to DS, just in general.
I was referring to both.
Still, good luck to them and I hope they are happy together.
Funnily enough, completely off-topic, Stephen is how I met Dustin..
But yeah, maybe I just had my head buried in the clouds when that was going on.
I don't see the big deal personally.
I don't think it's something I could do, but, what works for me won't always work for others, and vice versa.
A lot of people are very close minded.
Fair enough.
I do find it weird that a few people on the the thread have been imagining what they get up to in the bedroom, I can't say it's a thought that crossed my mind.
You've met him and he smiled and was nice - so what?
It has very little to do with jealousy and everything to do with logic and common sense. Maybe you just can't be objective.
Unsurprisingly, I think it's the people making judgements about someone they don't know that are can't be objective.
Actually there was.
How do you know Lance doesn't have safe sex? The guy he was shown with in that leaked video might have been a relationship and they may have known each other well, in which case trusted each other and not used protection...that's how relationships work. Also, you say he has a reputation around Hollywood and it's a seedy one apparently...a reputation for what? Gay man goes out and has fun. Shock horror. Has he ever cheated on anyone? Has he ever slept around without using protection with people he's not in a relationship with? As far as you know, no, he hasn't. There's a lot of jealous people on this forum.
Here's the thread.
http://forums.digitalspy.co.uk/showthread.php?t=2037940
Most had it down as a sad old man having a mid life crisis with a well-funded dolly bird.
I was talking generally rather than DS..