My oh and i were looking at getting married a couple of years ago but changed our minds.
We made a list of who we wanted at the wedding, and who we were obliged to invite. We ended up with a long list of people we didnt really like and didnt want to fund a day/night out for them.
We also looked at venues and the cheapest all inclusive one was £2k for the ceremony, wedding breakfast and a cold buffet in the evening. The place was horrible. It was an out of town hotel that looked like it was last decorated 40 years ago, and the menu was pretty naff.
The nicest venue which did everything except disco/band and was a lot nicer all round, was just over £6k! We just couldnt justify spending that amount on a wedding.
We looked into just getting two witnesses and having a midweek marriage at the registary office. The only problem is oh thought his family would be a bit miffed if we got hitched in town and they werent invited.
As time went on we realised we arent really weddingy types. I dont really like large groups of people and the thought of being on show all day. My oh was best man at a wedding and said he didnt like how long it was, the stuffy suits and generally didnt enjoy it.
Weve decided to just get hitched in vegas and not tell anyone until afterwards. Nobody will be missing out because we wouldnt be inviting anyone. Likewise we wouldnt get married here so its not like we are opting for a foreign wedding instead of an english one. If we dont do it abroad we arent doing it at all.
This way we get the best of everything, save thousands of pounds, get honeymoon at the same time, just us plus being vegas anything goes. I can be all out bridal and he can wear anything. We dont have to worry about matching colours, textures, accessories or anything!
Thanks for the support guys. A family member actually has a farm so I would have quite liked to have a marquee in one or their fields and have a village fete theme with bunting and games but a generator to power it all seems to be causing my brain to freeze.
Marquee/farm weddings are fab but they are a LOT of work!! And not the cheaper option in the long run. If you have an OH who isn't overly interested, a marquee wedding where you have to set it all up, do a lot of DIY touches and clean up the next day may not be suitable. You also need a lot of help from family on the day to make sure it runs smoothly/on time as you don't have a an events coordinator to run the day for you.
Just keep searching local venues and remember that a plain room sometimes in a function suite in a hotel might be the best option - you can stamp your mark on it and then you've got people running it for you and cleaning up!
Loads of venues are doing special offers at the moment, you just need to not go just by what's on google or their website - ring them up! And haggle, go for off peak time of year, or a Friday, or a Sunday and you can get up to 25% off some venues. I am a wedding coordinator and I rarely have anyone paying full price anymore, it's just the way it goes now.
Good luck!! Don't be disheartened if the groom isn't interested right now, I have had hundreds of weddings in my career and rarely is the groom interested until the month before!!
Don't bother, weddings are purely for the benefit of other people, not the married couple.
Oh they really aren't. Most people I know do not like weddings and only go because the bride and groom (or family) would be insulted by non attendance.
Our friends got married at the weekend. They did not send out invites, or give anyone much notice (we found out the weekend before).
They simply booked the registry office ceremony and sent people text messages asking if they wanted to come - no pressure, no gifts allowed.
The bride's mum picked out a dress for her a few days beforehand and a family friend rustled up a bouquet for the bride. No bridesmaids, but her sister was around on the day to help.
It was a lovely morning - the registry office ceremony room was surprisingly nice. About 30 people showed up, a nice size of group for photos. Then they popped back to the bride's gran's house to cut the cake. Pub meal to celebrate in the evening where a few more friends showed up. It turned out to be a relaxed, cheap and successful day.
It does not need to be the £20,000 drama many people like to create!
Thanks for the support guys. A family member actually has a farm so I would have quite liked to have a marquee in one or their fields and have a village fete theme with bunting and games but a generator to power it all seems to be causing my brain to freeze.
Brilliant idea, we had a marquee in my parents' back garden. Best party I've ever been to and it was 19 years ago today.
It does not need to be the £20,000 drama many people like to create!
Staying away from the drama, some people do want a lot of people at their wedding, they do want a nice fancy meal, they do want a big party, they do want to wear a nice dress! I don't think it's fair how people band about things like 'bridezilla' and that it's a waste of money when it's something that some people do actually want! Like I don't know how people can justify spending hundreds of pounds on festivals but it's their money!
It does not need to be the £20,000 drama many people like to create!
We spent about £13,000 on ours and had everything exactly as we wanted. If you're sensible and shop around and negotiate you can get things cheaper. My friend spent £26,000 on theirs and didn't have anything that noticeably different to ours. People tend to get ripped off and just pick the first thing they see at a wedding fayre or whatever. My mate spent £2,000 on a photographer and got nothing extra to our £500 one. My mates wife spent £3,000 on an off the peg dress, my wife spent £1,000 and a dressmaker made hers from scratch to her exact design. We got our invites from Ebay custom printed but sent as a "kit" to construct ourselves. We had around 80 people at our full day and then another 40 at the evening do. We're both really into food so spent a bit more on food, canapes, arrival drinks and champage, rather than having big elaborate table decorations. If you're sensible you can have a "big" wedding and not spend £20k plus.
Staying away from the drama, some people do want a lot of people at their wedding, they do want a nice fancy meal, they do want a big party, they do want to wear a nice dress! I don't think it's fair how people band about things like 'bridezilla' and that it's a waste of money when it's something that some people do actually want! Like I don't know how people can justify spending hundreds of pounds on festivals but it's their money!
Agreed. My wedding last yr was pretty lavish, but worth every penny.
Staying away from the drama, some people do want a lot of people at their wedding, they do want a nice fancy meal, they do want a big party, they do want to wear a nice dress! I don't think it's fair how people band about things like 'bridezilla' and that it's a waste of money when it's something that some people do actually want! Like I don't know how people can justify spending hundreds of pounds on festivals but it's their money![/QUOT
Agreed. Whats to fight or score points over?.
Everybody can have whatever they want on their day, if a dress costing 20,000 is whats wanted, go for it.
Nobody who says 'go simple' is saying 'go cheap' OR those
who have done otherwise are wrong.
Must there be a war about every bloody thing?
Also the fabulous dress, the best in show flowers, the award winning cake etc look just as good in a field, a tent, a markee, a fabulous hotel etc
Staying away from the drama, some people do want a lot of people at their wedding, they do want a nice fancy meal, they do want a big party, they do want to wear a nice dress! I don't think it's fair how people band about things like 'bridezilla' and that it's a waste of money when it's something that some people do actually want! Like I don't know how people can justify spending hundreds of pounds on festivals but it's their money!
Agreed, I had big wedding but it didn't "stress me out" Whats that all about? With most bridezillas you find they are sorting out the most intricate of details that they forget what its all about really.
Agreed, I had big wedding but it didn't "stress me out" Whats that all about? With most bridezillas you find they are sorting out the most intricate of details that they forget what its all about really.
Well, I was far from a 'Bridezilla' but I still found it extremely stressful, mainly for reasons caused by other people, bridesmaids in particular (my wedding signalled the end of those friendships and not before time as it turned out). Then there was what was going on in my own head as well, by the time the wedding day arrived I was a nervous wreck and spent the day feeling unwell.
Intricate details and Bridezilla-ness really didn't come into it.
In my extensive experience as a wedding coordinator over the past 6 years, I find the longer the engagement/planning side then the more expensive and stressful it seems to become. I think brides that have 2 years before their wedding tend to spend more on things that you may not actually need because they simply get bored. They go to every wedding fair and then buy more!
If you want the big wedding with everything you want you can do it on a budget and fairly stress free if you keep your planning schedule to below a year, I find.
Bridezillas are a completely different kettle of fish - often they're not actually that stressed out. Most bridezillas i've had (I can only count on one hand the brides that I have honestly hated and been so happy when their wedding was over and I never have to see them again) have been horrible people before their wedding and their sense of entitlement because they're a BRIDE turns them into the devil. It's not often about the money, or the stress, or the details. It's just because they're horrible people!
For my first wedding, as a callow youth in the 60s I had two instructions, book and pay for the honeymoon, and turn up at the church with clean shoes.
This time around we were on holiday in Weeki-Wachee, Florida in May 1994.
I had a brainwave and went to the Hernando County Courthouse in Brooksville Fl. to see what was required for foreigners to marry there.
Proof of divorce, I.D., pay for a licence, reserve a date, pay for the ceremony, that was it, no blood test like some States.
We did all that, my friend Adrienne agreed to be my witness and she flew down from New York City for the weekend when we returned to get married in October 1994.
I love my in-laws to bits, but they are the biggest bunch of free loaders in Christendom, if we'd married at home in London I'd still be paying for it.
As it was, we were married at 1.30 p.m and were back sitting in the pool drinking champagne by 3.00 p.m.
We spent about £13,000 on ours and had everything exactly as we wanted. If you're sensible and shop around and negotiate you can get things cheaper. My friend spent £26,000 on theirs and didn't have anything that noticeably different to ours. People tend to get ripped off and just pick the first thing they see at a wedding fayre or whatever. My mate spent £2,000 on a photographer and got nothing extra to our £500 one. My mates wife spent £3,000 on an off the peg dress, my wife spent £1,000 and a dressmaker made hers from scratch to her exact design. We got our invites from Ebay custom printed but sent as a "kit" to construct ourselves. We had around 80 people at our full day and then another 40 at the evening do. We're both really into food so spent a bit more on food, canapes, arrival drinks and champage, rather than having big elaborate table decorations. If you're sensible you can have a "big" wedding and not spend £20k plus.
Yes we spent 12000 and that includes a honeymoon to Thailand, we bought the vases for our table centre-pieces, the florist is going to set them up on the day when she delivers our flowers, we went to Ikea and got tealight holders as they were the cheapest place. We are going to see all of it when we are done with it.
We did away with Canapés because we were at a wedding recently and they didn't have them so it seemed a money wasted, people just want to drink! My brother is off to France on a booze cruise to stock up on extra wine for the meal (as ordering from the venue is quite expensive). Our package comes with chair covers and sashes, welcome drinks and wine during the meal as well.
My dress is being made for a third of what it would have cost from a shop by a lovely lady who has designed loads of wedding dresses, the bridesmaid dresses came from Marks and Spencers, I found my shoes on the internet, my hair combs were made by my hairdresser, I got my jewellery from a shop that was having a liquidation sale. We did spend a fair bit on a photographer but he is good and we have saved money elsewhere. The only other big expense was the rings, as mine had to be designed and made to fit around my random shaped engagement ring and his had to fit is fat finger.
Comments
We made a list of who we wanted at the wedding, and who we were obliged to invite. We ended up with a long list of people we didnt really like and didnt want to fund a day/night out for them.
We also looked at venues and the cheapest all inclusive one was £2k for the ceremony, wedding breakfast and a cold buffet in the evening. The place was horrible. It was an out of town hotel that looked like it was last decorated 40 years ago, and the menu was pretty naff.
The nicest venue which did everything except disco/band and was a lot nicer all round, was just over £6k! We just couldnt justify spending that amount on a wedding.
We looked into just getting two witnesses and having a midweek marriage at the registary office. The only problem is oh thought his family would be a bit miffed if we got hitched in town and they werent invited.
As time went on we realised we arent really weddingy types. I dont really like large groups of people and the thought of being on show all day. My oh was best man at a wedding and said he didnt like how long it was, the stuffy suits and generally didnt enjoy it.
Weve decided to just get hitched in vegas and not tell anyone until afterwards. Nobody will be missing out because we wouldnt be inviting anyone. Likewise we wouldnt get married here so its not like we are opting for a foreign wedding instead of an english one. If we dont do it abroad we arent doing it at all.
This way we get the best of everything, save thousands of pounds, get honeymoon at the same time, just us plus being vegas anything goes. I can be all out bridal and he can wear anything. We dont have to worry about matching colours, textures, accessories or anything!
Marquee/farm weddings are fab but they are a LOT of work!! And not the cheaper option in the long run. If you have an OH who isn't overly interested, a marquee wedding where you have to set it all up, do a lot of DIY touches and clean up the next day may not be suitable. You also need a lot of help from family on the day to make sure it runs smoothly/on time as you don't have a an events coordinator to run the day for you.
Just keep searching local venues and remember that a plain room sometimes in a function suite in a hotel might be the best option - you can stamp your mark on it and then you've got people running it for you and cleaning up!
Loads of venues are doing special offers at the moment, you just need to not go just by what's on google or their website - ring them up! And haggle, go for off peak time of year, or a Friday, or a Sunday and you can get up to 25% off some venues. I am a wedding coordinator and I rarely have anyone paying full price anymore, it's just the way it goes now.
Good luck!! Don't be disheartened if the groom isn't interested right now, I have had hundreds of weddings in my career and rarely is the groom interested until the month before!!
Oh they really aren't. Most people I know do not like weddings and only go because the bride and groom (or family) would be insulted by non attendance.
They simply booked the registry office ceremony and sent people text messages asking if they wanted to come - no pressure, no gifts allowed.
The bride's mum picked out a dress for her a few days beforehand and a family friend rustled up a bouquet for the bride. No bridesmaids, but her sister was around on the day to help.
It was a lovely morning - the registry office ceremony room was surprisingly nice. About 30 people showed up, a nice size of group for photos. Then they popped back to the bride's gran's house to cut the cake. Pub meal to celebrate in the evening where a few more friends showed up. It turned out to be a relaxed, cheap and successful day.
It does not need to be the £20,000 drama many people like to create!
Brilliant idea, we had a marquee in my parents' back garden. Best party I've ever been to and it was 19 years ago today.
Staying away from the drama, some people do want a lot of people at their wedding, they do want a nice fancy meal, they do want a big party, they do want to wear a nice dress! I don't think it's fair how people band about things like 'bridezilla' and that it's a waste of money when it's something that some people do actually want! Like I don't know how people can justify spending hundreds of pounds on festivals but it's their money!
We spent about £13,000 on ours and had everything exactly as we wanted. If you're sensible and shop around and negotiate you can get things cheaper. My friend spent £26,000 on theirs and didn't have anything that noticeably different to ours. People tend to get ripped off and just pick the first thing they see at a wedding fayre or whatever. My mate spent £2,000 on a photographer and got nothing extra to our £500 one. My mates wife spent £3,000 on an off the peg dress, my wife spent £1,000 and a dressmaker made hers from scratch to her exact design. We got our invites from Ebay custom printed but sent as a "kit" to construct ourselves. We had around 80 people at our full day and then another 40 at the evening do. We're both really into food so spent a bit more on food, canapes, arrival drinks and champage, rather than having big elaborate table decorations. If you're sensible you can have a "big" wedding and not spend £20k plus.
Agreed. My wedding last yr was pretty lavish, but worth every penny.
Agreed, I had big wedding but it didn't "stress me out" Whats that all about? With most bridezillas you find they are sorting out the most intricate of details that they forget what its all about really.
Well, I was far from a 'Bridezilla' but I still found it extremely stressful, mainly for reasons caused by other people, bridesmaids in particular (my wedding signalled the end of those friendships and not before time as it turned out). Then there was what was going on in my own head as well, by the time the wedding day arrived I was a nervous wreck and spent the day feeling unwell.
Intricate details and Bridezilla-ness really didn't come into it.
If you want the big wedding with everything you want you can do it on a budget and fairly stress free if you keep your planning schedule to below a year, I find.
Even the cake was in tiers.
This time around we were on holiday in Weeki-Wachee, Florida in May 1994.
I had a brainwave and went to the Hernando County Courthouse in Brooksville Fl. to see what was required for foreigners to marry there.
Proof of divorce, I.D., pay for a licence, reserve a date, pay for the ceremony, that was it, no blood test like some States.
We did all that, my friend Adrienne agreed to be my witness and she flew down from New York City for the weekend when we returned to get married in October 1994.
I love my in-laws to bits, but they are the biggest bunch of free loaders in Christendom, if we'd married at home in London I'd still be paying for it.
As it was, we were married at 1.30 p.m and were back sitting in the pool drinking champagne by 3.00 p.m.
Yes we spent 12000 and that includes a honeymoon to Thailand, we bought the vases for our table centre-pieces, the florist is going to set them up on the day when she delivers our flowers, we went to Ikea and got tealight holders as they were the cheapest place. We are going to see all of it when we are done with it.
We did away with Canapés because we were at a wedding recently and they didn't have them so it seemed a money wasted, people just want to drink! My brother is off to France on a booze cruise to stock up on extra wine for the meal (as ordering from the venue is quite expensive). Our package comes with chair covers and sashes, welcome drinks and wine during the meal as well.
My dress is being made for a third of what it would have cost from a shop by a lovely lady who has designed loads of wedding dresses, the bridesmaid dresses came from Marks and Spencers, I found my shoes on the internet, my hair combs were made by my hairdresser, I got my jewellery from a shop that was having a liquidation sale. We did spend a fair bit on a photographer but he is good and we have saved money elsewhere. The only other big expense was the rings, as mine had to be designed and made to fit around my random shaped engagement ring and his had to fit is fat finger.