Bad feelings about my son

Central cake · 15/12/13 - 00:29

Hello all.

Sometimes when watching a tv show/film and something happens to a young lad in it I instantly think of the same situation with it happening to my son. Gets me quite upset. I always put myself in the parents situation but with it happening to my son.

Is it me? Or does anyone else have this?

[Deleted User] · 15/12/13 - 00:32

Central cake wrote: »

Hello all.

Sometimes when watching a tv show/film and something happens to a young lad in it I instantly think of the same situation with it happening to my son. Gets me quite upset. I always put myself in the parents situation but with it happening to my son.

Is it me? Or does anyone else have this?

Most people do, that's why we can relate to things, not just on tv but real events. I thought my heart would rip when I heard about the shootings in Dunblane and what the parents were going through

[Deleted User] · 15/12/13 - 00:44

I would say it is a parent thing. You do put your own kids in that situation and think how you would feel. If I see an ambulance or police car with flashing blue lights and sirens going I automatically stop and think where mine are and are they safe? You are not alone.

Archie Duke · 15/12/13 - 00:50

The thread title has rather a different slant to the contents of the OP.

Frankly I don't understand what they are on about.

Jefferson · 15/12/13 - 00:58

Isn't it more of a woman's thing? I always find it irritating when someone says they can understand why the brutal murder of a child is such a bad thing because they have a child themselves.

I thought this before I had children and now I have.

SJ_Mental · 15/12/13 - 01:06

I can sympathize more now as parent the pain that people go through losing their child or a child getting seriously injured.

ETA: Actually a relative had a stillbirth around the time one of my sons was born, I would get paranoid and check that he was breathing and ok constantly whilst he was little.

NX-74205 · 15/12/13 - 01:07

Central cake wrote: »

Hello all.

Sometimes when watching a tv show/film and something happens to a young lad in it I instantly think of the same situation with it happening to my son. Gets me quite upset. I always put myself in the parents situation but with it happening to my son.

Is it me? Or does anyone else have this?

I don't even know your Son.

xp95 · 15/12/13 - 01:08

Honestweegie wrote: »

Most people do, that's why we can relate to things, not just on tv but real events. I thought my heart would rip when I heard about the shootings in Dunblane and what the parents were going through

Hobbit Feet · 15/12/13 - 01:08

NX-74205 wrote: »

I don't even know your Son.

well you would say that

[Deleted User] · 15/12/13 - 01:11

NX-74205 wrote: »

I don't even know your Son.

Tuts loudly. Well isn't that what men say about their own?

Bedlam_maid · 15/12/13 - 02:39

Central cake wrote: »

Hello all.

Sometimes when watching a tv show/film and something happens to a young lad in it I instantly think of the same situation with it happening to my son. Gets me quite upset. I always put myself in the parents situation but with it happening to my son.

Is it me? Or does anyone else have this?

You're not alone, although I tend to think like that with real life events in the news rather than films.

Pistol Whip · 15/12/13 - 02:43

Reminds me of that Family Guy episode where Brian finds out he has a son and gets very over protective over him and starts acting like a jerk. Lois soon puts him in his place.

xp95 · 15/12/13 - 02:48

Pistol Whip wrote: »

Reminds me of that Family Guy episode where Brian finds out he has a son and gets very over protective over him and starts acting like a jerk. Lois soon puts him in his place.

I only liked that episode for his son beating up Chris's evil monkey!

James Frederick · 15/12/13 - 02:51

avasgranny wrote: »

I would say it is a parent thing. You do put your own kids in that situation and think how you would feel. If I see an ambulance or police car with flashing blue lights and sirens going I automatically stop and think where mine are and are they safe? You are not alone.

I think that every time I see one about my family (mum brothers and best friend) even if I have just that minute left them so know they are ok

[Deleted User] · 15/12/13 - 02:56

I'm not doing one of those 'only a parent can understand' idiotic things, but I do think having your own children may make you hyper sensitive to all kinds of things. They are called hostages to fortune for a reason: having a child exposes you to the risk of almost infinite pain, and it is only human nature for this to take the form of fear and anxiety. Like any other anxiety, it can become excessive to some people, so it starts to affect their lives; in which case it has to be treated like any other unpleasant obsession, ie see if you can get help for it.

ROWLING2010 · 15/12/13 - 03:05

Oh I thought this thread was going to be about how the OP hates, wants to kill him or something.

1fab · 15/12/13 - 03:11

Jefferson wrote: »

Isn't it more of a woman's thing? I always find it irritating when someone says they can understand why the brutal murder of a child is such a bad thing because they have a child themselves.

I thought this before I had children and now I have.

I find that irritating as well. You don't have to be a parent to find these crimes abhorrent.

vosne · 15/12/13 - 04:04

Great. Edited.

Hobbit Feet · 15/12/13 - 04:08

1fab wrote: »

I find that irritating as well. You don't have to be a parent to find these crimes abhorrent.

But this thread isn't about finding it abhorrent - it's about the emotion involved when you imagine it happening to your child.

It is different - not more pure or deserving just different.

1fab · 15/12/13 - 04:10

Hobbit Feet wrote: »

But this thread isn't about finding it abhorrent - it's about the emotion involved when you imagine it happening to your child.

It is different - not more pure or deserving just different.

I know that - I was just agreeing with part of someone's post.

Hobbit Feet · 15/12/13 - 04:13

1fab wrote: »

I know that - I was just agreeing with part of someone's post.

Fair enough, but the post you agreed with - well you know.....

'I always find it irritating when someone says they can understand why the brutal murder of a child is such a bad thing because they have a child themselves.'

Child or not can you imagine anybody you know saying this? I can't

1fab · 15/12/13 - 04:16

Hobbit Feet wrote: »

Fair enough, but the post you agreed with - well you know.....

'I always find it irritating when someone says they can understand why the brutal murder of a child is such a bad thing because they have a child themselves.'

Child or not can you imagine anybody you know saying this? I can't

They were simply saying that you don't have to be a parent to recognise that the murder of a child is bad. The horror of it is something any normal human being can understand. Or do you read it differently?

Hobbit Feet · 15/12/13 - 04:22

1fab wrote: »

They were simply saying that you don't have to be a parent to recognise that the murder of a child is bad. The horror of it is something any normal human being can understand. Or do you read it differently?

They are saying that parents say that they understand how the murder of a child is bad because they have a child; that is clearly a nonsense -parents recognise the murder of a child as being bad because they are human.

I don't know or want to know anybody who thinks that having a child gives them the ability to be any more profound or upset about the death of another persons child.

This has piss all to do with the thread though which is about the emotion that you feel when you imagine an event happening to your child - it's an emotion that those without children simply cannot feel, it's not better or noble, it's just a reality.

Frankly the premise is a bit odd - being peevish because you can't feel a negative emotion and fear - how bloody perverse is that.

1fab · 15/12/13 - 04:30

Hobbit Feet wrote: »

They are saying that parents say that they understand how the murder of a child is bad because they have a child; that is clearly a nonsense -parents recognise the murder of a child as being bad becuase they are human.

I don't know or want to know anybody who thinks that having a child gives them the ability to be any more profound or upset about the death of another persons child.

This has piss all to do with the thread though which is about the emotion that you feel when you imagine an event happening to your child - it's an emotion that those without children simply cannot feel, it's not better or noble, it's just a reality.

Frankly the premise is a bit odd - being peevish because you can't feel a negative emotion and fear - how bloody perverse is that.

I'm not at all sure what you're trying to say here.

Just want to say, though, that I am a parent and have gone through all those emotions imagining things happening to my child. I don't think it's impossible for people who don't have children to imagine it, though. They also have loved ones, even if they don't have children.

Hobbit Feet · 15/12/13 - 04:32

1fab wrote: »

I'm not at all sure what you're trying to say here.

Just want to say, though, that I am a parent and have gone through all those emotions imagining things happening to my child. I don't think it's impossible for people who don't have children to imagine it, though. They also have loved ones, even if they don't have children.

but we're not talking about loved ones

this thread is specifically about children

1fab · 15/12/13 - 04:34

Hobbit Feet wrote: »

but we're not talking about loved ones

this thread is specifically about children

I'm still not sure what point you're making. Have I offended you in some way?

Hey there!

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