My boss just said something to me....

NoWireHangersNoWireHangers Posts: 909
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Had a meeting with my boss yesterday talking about why I hadnt made more money for the company and myself (I work in sales) and he said that he thought it was because I sounded 'too gay on the phone'.

I said that all my life people had judged me on my sexuality and that I didn't need it in the workplace nor was it particularly helpful.

The more I think about the comment the more it's bothering me, am I being over sensitive or has he stepped over a line?
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  • Diane_RobDiane_Rob Posts: 1,261
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    This problem won't be of any use to you but I'd probably walk out and leave.

    If your services aren't good enough for them, I don't need telling twice.

    Having said that, it's all easier said than done. But that is pretty outright of them to say that, I'd be offended too.
  • NoWireHangersNoWireHangers Posts: 909
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    It's really bothering me.
  • Diane_RobDiane_Rob Posts: 1,261
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    It's really bothering me.

    You've got a number of options

    -Walk out and be like "i aint taking none of yo' sh*t" (okay admit it, we've all wanted a moment like that :D)

    -Talk to him about it, say it offended you.

    -Ignore it

    -Sabotage the workplace
  • ChipPaperChipPaper Posts: 18,521
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    Diane_Rob wrote: »
    You've got a number of options

    -Walk out and be like "i aint taking none of yo' sh*t" (okay admit it, we've all wanted a moment like that :D)

    -Talk to him about it, say it offended you.

    -Ignore it

    -Sabotage the workplace

    -Burn the place to the ground. To the ground, I tell you!
  • Diane_RobDiane_Rob Posts: 1,261
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    ChipPaper wrote: »
    -Burn the place to the ground. To the ground, I tell you!

    I think I'd have to agree tbh.

    OP you have to treat this situation as if you live in a soap. Sometimes it works, SOMETIMES.
  • RealityRocksRealityRocks Posts: 4,215
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    It's not acceptable for him to have said that to you - are you fairly friendly with him - was it a bad joke, or was it said seriously (or meant with malice)?

    You do have grounds to raise a grievance should you wish, but it's all down to you. Sounds like you were offended by the comment and it wasn't a joke - do you have a HR rep or senior manager you can speak to?
  • Diane_RobDiane_Rob Posts: 1,261
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    It's an attack on somebody's personality I guess. I think the OP has every right to be upset or outraged or whatever.

    I don't really know what I'd do but I am quite short-fused, I probably would leave and worry about paying the gas bill later (but like I said, that's not realistically good...)
  • Kiko H FanKiko H Fan Posts: 6,546
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    Tell him that the LGBT sector is something that's woefully undersold to, and you're being proactive in that sense.
    That pay rise is yours.
  • NoWireHangersNoWireHangers Posts: 909
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    I'm an actor and it offers a degree of flexibility. I will have to look hard for something that pays similar
  • NoWireHangersNoWireHangers Posts: 909
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    It's not acceptable for him to have said that to you - are you fairly friendly with him - was it a bad joke, or was it said seriously (or meant with malice)?

    You do have grounds to raise a grievance should you wish, but it's all down to you. Sounds like you were offended by the comment and it wasn't a joke - do you have a HR rep or senior manager you can speak to?

    It wasn't a joke. I was quite taken aback by it. He owns the company and the HR in the company essentially doesn't exist.
  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] Posts: 625
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    To make a comment like that your would have to be in a fairly informal enviorment and be very good friends with someone.

    In the situation you describe it sounds very unprofessional. There are other ways he could have worded the comment to make it more professional and less offensive.
  • Vodka_DrinkaVodka_Drinka Posts: 28,739
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    I can't believe some posters are making light of this. It wouldn't acceptable to say someone sounds too black on the phone!

    I'd certainly make some kind of complaint OP. You could probably report him to the police for it.
  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] Posts: 12,881
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    I can't believe some posters are making light of this. It wouldn't acceptable to say someone sounds too black on the phone!

    I'd certainly make some kind of complaint OP. You could probably report him to the police for it.

    This is DS and sadly the advice section is a breeding ground for people who trawl the internet looking for people's problems to mock. Childish but true.

    HIs comment was totally unacceptable OP. I suggest a call to the ACAS hotline as they are there to advise on a wide range of employment issues.
  • Vodka_DrinkaVodka_Drinka Posts: 28,739
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    This is DS and sadly the advice section is a breeding ground for people who trawl the internet looking for people's problems to mock. Childish but true.

    HIs comment was totally unacceptable OP. I suggest a call to the ACAS hotline as they are there to advise on a wide range of employment issues.

    I wish the mods would so something about these "brand new" posters who've obviously come here with the sole intention to troll and nothing else. I know I'm not the only poster who's getting fed up of it, they're spoiling the entire forum>:(
  • NoWireHangersNoWireHangers Posts: 909
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    Thanks for the constructive posts guys it is appreciated
  • Summer BreezeSummer Breeze Posts: 4,399
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    Had a meeting with my boss yesterday talking about why I hadnt made more money for the company and myself (I work in sales) and he said that he thought it was because I sounded 'too gay on the phone'.

    I said that all my life people had judged me on my sexuality and that I didn't need it in the workplace nor was it particularly helpful.

    The more I think about the comment the more it's bothering me, am I being over sensitive or has he stepped over a line?



    Oh heck.
    You are not being over sensitive at all in my opinion.
    Either act on it and complain or just let it go.

    What to you think the reason is that you are not making enough for the company and therefore yourself though?
  • oathyoathy Posts: 32,627
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    Thanks for the constructive posts guys it is appreciated

    I hope you can get something sorted
    He sounds like a total tool
  • mred2000mred2000 Posts: 10,050
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    I'm an actor and it offers a degree of flexibility. I will have to look hard for something that pays similar

    In all honesty what he said was out of order but the easiest thing in the world to do, if you want to get your head down and stay in the job, is handle the phones like an acting gig. Put on an accent. A fair number of my acting friends do sales work between jobs and they all use it to practice accents.
  • Noel CanardNoel Canard Posts: 562
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    Had a meeting with my boss yesterday talking about why I hadnt made more money for the company and myself (I work in sales) and he said that he thought it was because I sounded 'too gay on the phone'.

    I said that all my life people had judged me on my sexuality and that I didn't need it in the workplace nor was it particularly helpful.

    The more I think about the comment the more it's bothering me, am I being over sensitive or has he stepped over a line?

    It sounds as if he's being homophobic. That's a pretty serious offense not only outside of work but inside too.

    I'm not sure if those in charge will look too favourably on your boss. You may have a good case to answer for.
  • Summer BreezeSummer Breeze Posts: 4,399
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    It sounds as if he's being homophobic.


    Why does he have to be homophobic to say what he said?
    Inappropriate yes.

    I wonder what product the OP is selling and who he is selling it to?
  • wenchwench Posts: 8,928
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    Why does he have to be homophobic to say what he said?
    Inappropriate yes.

    I wonder what product the OP is selling and who he is selling it to?

    Because he is equating having a "gay voice" as something bad and negative.
  • NoWireHangersNoWireHangers Posts: 909
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    wench wrote: »
    Because he is equating having a "gay voice" as something bad and negative.

    Exactly
  • lem ramsaylem ramsay Posts: 1,076
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    I'd start looking for a new job - after a comment like that I wouldn't feel comfortable working in that environment no matter how much it pays.
  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] Posts: 10,273
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    lem ramsay wrote: »
    I'd start looking for a new job - after a comment like that I wouldn't feel comfortable working in that environment no matter how much it pays.

    No way should he look for another job. He's done nothing wrong, his boss has... What about the next employee with a "gay sounding voice"??

    Find out what your company's grievance procedure is and file one OP! Don't let this go.
  • ChipPaperChipPaper Posts: 18,521
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    Don't pursue this too much, OP. He already thinks you're 'sensitive' as it is. just brush it off and get on with your job. Don't give him more reasons to have a problem with you.
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