My boss just said something to me....

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  • What name??What name?? Posts: 26,623
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    I can't believe some posters are making light of this. It wouldn't acceptable to say someone sounds too black on the phone!
    Yes it would. If the person was offering what they thought was constructive advice about why they weren't making phone sales or were being treated negatively. That us why we have Indian call centre workers lying about their names and putting on fake accents.

    The manager could be wrong. He could be channelling his own bigotry. But that doesn't mean he may not be trying to be constructive - or could (sadly) be right.
  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] Posts: 10,273
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    Gneiss wrote: »


    They are clearly employed to sell over the telephone, if their voice is off putting to customers then it very much does matter...

    The OP may well be rubbish at selling, but that has nothing to do with his sexuality. "Sounding gay" does not make someone a bad sales person.
  • What name??What name?? Posts: 26,623
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    It sounds as if he's being homophobic. That's a pretty serious offense not only outside of work but inside too.

    No. It sounds as if he is saying some potential customers may be, and obviously that is true. It doesn't follow that they might then act negatively on it - but some might think it is a factor. I think it depends on what the op is trying to sell. The stereotypes on gay people would be positive in some sectors and negative in others.
  • What name??What name?? Posts: 26,623
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    GOGO2 wrote: »
    The OP may well be rubbish at selling, but that has nothing to do with his sexuality. "Sounding gay" does not make someone a bad sales person.

    No. But it can trigger the customers prejudices and effect their sales. They might trigger them in a positive way for someone selling clothes or negatively for annuities - because some bigots think of gay people as superficial or because of different customer profiles (the religious or elderly)
  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] Posts: 10,273
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    No. But it can trigger the customers prejudices and effect their sales. They might trigger them in a positive way for someone selling clothes or negatively for annuities - because some bigots think of gay people as superficial or because of different customer profiles (the religious or elderly)

    What are annuities and why are the people who buy them homophobic?? :confused:
  • WolfsheadishWolfsheadish Posts: 10,400
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    It's not acceptable for him to have said that to you - are you fairly friendly with him - was it a bad joke, or was it said seriously (or meant with malice)?

    You do have grounds to raise a grievance should you wish, but it's all down to you. Sounds like you were offended by the comment and it wasn't a joke - do you have a HR rep or senior manager you can speak to?

    This. What he said to you is unacceptable.
  • What name??What name?? Posts: 26,623
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    GOGO2 wrote: »
    What are annuities and why are the people who buy them homophobic?? :confused:

    To do with pensions and advisors for them are expected to be sedate, conservative and deal with the elderly. It was just an example of stereotypes like a camp person being good at advising on clothes or furniture, or blokey guy selling sports cars.

    If someone was a woman working in a predominantly male area advising her to change her image to do better might be good advice. It worked for Maggie Thatcher! Including being told to work on her voice to appear more commanding and less shrill. Was the advisor who told her that being discriminatory or telling her an unwelcome truth?
  • frostfrost Posts: 4,576
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    GOGO2 wrote: »
    The OP has no reason to be fearful about losing his job

    If he's not making his targets in a sales job as his first post suggests then he has every reason to be fearful about loosing his job...
  • bri160356bri160356 Posts: 5,147
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    Had a meeting with my boss yesterday talking about why I hadnt made more money for the company and myself (I work in sales) and he said that he thought it was because I sounded 'too gay on the phone'.

    I said that all my life people had judged me on my sexuality and that I didn't need it in the workplace nor was it particularly helpful.

    The more I think about the comment the more it's bothering me, am I being over sensitive or has he stepped over a line?

    Is your boss apt to say things like this to other people?

    Is it his (unusual) way of motivating people?

    Could he have actually meant that you need to be more ‘vocally assertive’ when talking to customers?

    Is he a real-life ‘David Brent’ but doesn’t realise it?.............there are lots of ‘goon’ managers around .
  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] Posts: 237
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    Then you sound camp maybe?

    not a good thing for sales as you need to sound a bit strong.
  • coopermanyorkscoopermanyorks Posts: 21,215
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    I am confuddled
    Had a meeting with my boss yesterday talking about why I hadnt made more money for the company and myself (I work in sales) and he said that he thought it was because I sounded 'too gay on the phone'.

    .............

    and then..........

    I'm an actor and it offers a degree of flexibility. I will have to look hard for something that pays similar
  • Toby LaRhoneToby LaRhone Posts: 12,916
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    I am confuddled



    and then..........

    He's "resting".

    Infamy!
    Infamy!
  • 3Sheets2TheWind3Sheets2TheWind Posts: 3,028
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    wench wrote: »
    Because he is equating having a "gay voice" as something bad and negative.

    True and I agree it is not ideal, but how many acting jobs will this guys get if he sounds gay?

    He'll just get the roles of gay men.

    Nothing wrong with that, but he may want to play other parts as well.
  • D.DotAD.DotA Posts: 2,281
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    That is actually disgusting! Complain! Not to is though OP complain to your bosses boss and say you want something done about it. Nothing's going to make you feel better just by sitting here and saying your angry and upset. Go and do something about it!
  • NoWireHangersNoWireHangers Posts: 909
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    DJW13 wrote: »
    So why does the OP think that he isn't making higher sales? Has he done selling before? Perhaps he is not very good at it?

    The owner may know his customers better than the OP does, and thinks that they are put off by the voice: they might also be put off if someone sounded too posh?

    The owner may be homophobic or may not. If the OP has had other references made to his sexuality this would be a better indication of whether there is any action that could be taken. In a larger company a complaint could be made to HR, but I suspect that if a fuss is made in this case a new job will have to be found.

    After all, the owner may have correctly identified why sales are lower than expected. Alternatively, perhaps the OP needs some training in selling?



    I work in a team of 20 and I was above 7 colleagues and had a 40% increase in sales. I was feeling quite pleased with the year, but obviously as it is sales I do want to earn more.

    I have worked in sales for 8 years. No training needed!
  • NoWireHangersNoWireHangers Posts: 909
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    I am confuddled



    and then..........

    The reality is most actors have 2 jobs. Unless you're in a soap you have to otherwise you wouldn't have regular money
  • DJW13DJW13 Posts: 4,272
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    I work in a team of 20 and I was above 7 colleagues and had a 40% increase in sales. I was feeling quite pleased with the year, but obviously as it is sales I do want to earn more.

    I have worked in sales for 8 years. No training needed!

    From this further information it does now seem as though your boss has issues with your sexuality. As you are an actor you presumably could if you wish change your telephone voice and see if this results in higher sales.

    I would be very annoyed if my sales had increased by 40% and my boss was still not happy, unless of course everyone else had done even better.

    It seems to me that it may be time to move on, not because your boss may have a problem with your sexuality but because he does not appreciate you.
  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] Posts: 181
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    Sorry peeps you lot are missing the real point here.
    OP sells on the phone if I am correct.

    I've been in sales for many years and let me tell you the great British public only buys from what they consider as "normal" people like them. This means all the following are impediments to maximizing your potential:

    So if you have any of the following traits you will by definition be less succesful:

    * Regional accents (Really people from one part of the country get snooty if there are being sold something by someone with another regional accent)

    * People with different foreign names sometimes change them to English names. So an Asian colleague saw his hit rates go up, when he introduced himself as Paul Black, rater than Ahmed Khan.

    * If your selling to certain sectors or trades than an openly Gay accent (not saying OP has one)is not usually a good thing. I'm not passing Judgement, just saying thats the reality of life.

    The boss here is not necessarily being offensive. All he is saying you will be more successful if you neutralise your accent. He could say the same to someone with a thick cockney twang. If OP is offended by this, then sales ain't his bag.
  • roger_50roger_50 Posts: 6,884
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    Saying it the way he said it sounds rather crass. But salesmen do often get coaching from managers about phone mannerisms and voice depth, etc. Apparently certain tones and the manner in which sentences are delivered can make a difference - but it's clear that he's shown a lack of sensitivity.

    I mean, some gay men do sound a bit effeminate while others don't. I honestly don't know whether the former would affect sales or not (I would have thought not, if the product is good and communicated clearly it shouldn't matter), but it's a tricky subject to tackle for a sales manager I would have thought.
  • davzerdavzer Posts: 2,501
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    Tell your boss that if they don't want a constructive dismissal case at an Employment Tribunal then use less of the 'sounding gay' comments and more of the 'improve your assertive communication skills' comments
  • Bus Stop2012Bus Stop2012 Posts: 5,624
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    So you've increased your sales by 40% over the last year but that still takes you to only 13th most successful in the team. Yes its an improvement, but no doubt both you and your boss think there is something preventing you from doing better - as you say, not just for yourself but for the firm.
    I'd guess that, in all the circumstances you've described, your boss definitely has no issues about you being gay; you've been there long enough with, presumably, no problems. But both of you are clearly trying to find the key to your being more successful and, consequently, happier.

    If its your way of speaking that might, just might, be not working for you, then give his suggestion a try.

    Its all right people telling you to start complaining and taking this and that action, but whats important is what you want to achieve. If you want to become a nervous, anxious, unhappy stressed out wreck who can't work. And to go through quasi litigation without a job for the chance of reaping some compensation that won't compensate you for the stress in achieving it. And you want to become someone that future employers are wary of, then go ahead and complain.

    If you want to carry on working as you are, just shrug it off and carry on.

    If you want to be happier than you currently are, give the suggestion a try. It might work. You'll be pleased and your boss will be pleased. I believe he likes you already, and he'll like you even more if you are receptive to trying new tactics.

    Its actually quite confusing for straight people, and bosses too, these days. On the one hand everyone is open and even proud of being gay, and its something talked about (rightly) without fear or inhibition. Yet when a straight person mentions it, as in this case, suddenly they're wrongly accused of being homophobic. Its quite sickening.

    Don't feel hurt by it. He mentioned it because he thinks you're cool with it. Be glad he feels able to think of you as cool.
  • NoWireHangersNoWireHangers Posts: 909
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    Flipper411 wrote: »
    Sorry peeps you lot are missing the real point here.
    OP sells on the phone if I am correct.

    I've been in sales for many years and let me tell you the great British public only buys from what they consider as "normal" people like them. This means all the following are impediments to maximizing your potential:

    So if you have any of the following traits you will by definition be less succesful:

    * Regional accents (Really people from one part of the country get snooty if there are being sold something by someone with another regional accent)

    * People with different foreign names sometimes change them to English names. So an Asian colleague saw his hit rates go up, when he introduced himself as Paul Black, rater than Ahmed Khan.

    * If your selling to certain sectors or trades than an openly Gay accent (not saying OP has one)is not usually a good thing. I'm not passing Judgement, just saying thats the reality of life.

    The boss here is not necessarily being offensive. All he is saying you will be more successful if you neutralise your accent. He could say the same to someone with a thick cockney twang. If OP is offended by this, then sales ain't his bag.


    I have also been in sales for many years and have always been very successful. and whilst I am not one of the top players at the moment I do sell consistently and I am higher than a lot of other people.

    My accent IMO is neutral, I don't sound like Julian clary or john Inman, my colleagues agree my accent is neutral also.

    More importantly my accent or voice has been successful for me for many years in this type of work
  • Bus Stop2012Bus Stop2012 Posts: 5,624
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    I have also been in sales for many years and have always been very successful. and whilst I am not one of the top players at the moment I do sell consistently and I am higher than a lot of other people.

    My accent IMO is neutral, I don't sound like Julian clary or john Inman, my colleagues agree my accent is neutral also.

    More importantly my accent or voice has been successful for me for many years in this type of work

    Might be worthwhile starting again then, as far as this thread goes, because you said this:-

    "Had a meeting with my boss yesterday talking about why I hadnt made more money for the company and myself"

    - So why were you having this meeting?
    - You've made a 40% improvement this year but you are still only higher than 7 people in your team. 12 people in your team are better.
  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] Posts: 181
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    I have also been in sales for many years and have always been very successful. and whilst I am not one of the top players at the moment I do sell consistently and I am higher than a lot of other people.

    My accent IMO is neutral, I don't sound like Julian clary or john Inman, my colleagues agree my accent is neutral also.

    More importantly my accent or voice has been successful for me for many years in this type of work

    Ok if you believe your accent or voice is not the issue, why didn't you stop to tell your boss you don't agree with him. Ask him to give an example of why he thinks that is an issue, why did he flag it??

    Why take offence, ask him to clarify his comments.
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