Would you remain freinds with someone who told lies?
Like someone who told lies about themselves which simply werent true and you knew they were lying!...Like someone who told someone they had a car for example then they tell you they don't.. Would you out them?... Or just not saying anything to avoid a confrontation
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We all lie a bit to avoid hurting people but if they are compulsive, then I couldn't cope.
A girl I used to know claimed to be a catwalk model in Paris and Milan, yet when a few of us arranged a girlie holiday in Greece, she said she couldn't come because she didn't have a passport. Yet had been 'modelling' only the week before.
I just felt a bit sad for her.
However, my general rule of thumb is that people's lives are set by the benchmark they set themselves themselves: this includes the company the keep. If it doesn't bother you that someone lies a lot, stay friends with them. I'd recommend you set your sights a bit higher though as if you can't trust them to be straight with you, what's the point of their friendship?
Just remember that you could be tarred with the same brush for keeping their company.
Small white lies to save someone's feelings are okay, but my Gran would have quoted Sir Walter Scott
'Oh what a tangled web we weave, when first we practise to deceive!'
But it is true, lies cost a lot to maintain, the truth is free. To be a successful liar, one would have to have a phenomenal memory. What's the point?
id go somewhere in between ..... id confront them privately and tell them that people know he/she is telling tall tales and that they are dangerously close to losing friends over it .
I have to admit, i swing from liking him to wanting to never see him again. Underneath all the lies, he is such a decent man though who would do anything for a friend, he is quite happy to get down on the floor and play with the kids too (which always says a lot to me about a person!) and the kids idolise him too. We've learnt to roll our eyes and to stop listening when he tells lies.
OP - it depends how much you value the friendship and how much the lies effect that friendship
And no, i'm no longer friends with them as they not only told so many lies but in the end they proved they couldn't be trusted.
If the lies damage the friendship or they become full-blown fantasist then you may need to think again, but if you otherwise enjoy this person's company, smile at it as you would any other quirk a friend might have.
You are not alone - apparently most people think the quote is by Shakespeare. This is probably on the basis that if you don't know where a quote comes from and guess Shakespeare you will often be right!
Remaining friends with a compulsive liar is difficult, unless you are prepared to laugh off any outrageous claims.
It started when he got in with the wrong crowd and it sort of screwed his head up. My dad was seriously ill and sometimes struggled to cope at home, the so called friend used to say to a woman we introduced him to my dad was a lazy so and so and never cleaned up at home as we never realsied at the time it was because he was ill. My dad it turned out had a serious terminal cancer we never knew about till a couple of hours before he died which explained his often inability to not cope very well. Same friend after the incident over my dad (tried to forgive him about that)used to say he's not been in touch after a long while of no contact because he's lost my number on his phone etc. Turned out it was a lie and he'd been going to see a woman living no more than a few miles from us instead, knew where we lived and this woman had our number and knew where we lived to give him the details had he really lost it as well as he used to work with my sister at the time Was also all sorts of other petty lies to
If it's petty lies and does not affect the person yes, prehaps you can remain friends. But when it affects you it can quickly become to much to forgive and remain friends with them if it's constant and obvious.
A few weeks ago I bumped into her in the pub and my wife asked her if we'd made it up yet and she replied, 'oh we've been friends too long to let things like this drive us apart.' To which I replied, 'Oh really? Well if you and me are such good long lost friends then how come you never ring me and pass my house every morning and it's too much trouble to call to see me and you can't even be arsed to send me a text so see how I am and when I text you you don't bother replying half the time? You haven't spoken to me in years so that's how much of a good friend you are. I have enemies that speak to me more than you do.'
My wife said, 'oh, er, ok. I'll take that as a no then.' Awkward!
If I came across a new person who was clearly telling whoppers then I would avoid them like the plague. If a genuine friend suddenly started lying on a massive scale - I'd want to find out why and try to help.
Lol, I thought is was too when it popped into my head, but decided to check before I posted.:o:)
I prefer people who are confident enough in themselves to be honest - and where I never have to wonder whether something they are telling me is true or not. Too much like hard work dealing with a liar.
Me and my other friends are just stepping back from her. I should feel sorry for her as it's clear she can't sleep straight let alone talk straight but I just feel very resentful as she obviously thinks it's ok to insult our intelligence on an almost daily basis with her rubbish.