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19 things that will (probably) happen
Patti-Ann
Posts: 22,747 Forum Member
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Time to draw up your X factor bingo card:
http://www.instyle.co.uk/celebrity/news/19-things-which-will-probably-happen-on-the-x-factor-this-year
We could probably add a few, like Simon saying 'I didn't like it...I loved it' or 'Louis, you are a miserable old man'...
The old chestnuts 'You owned the stage' and 'You made that song your own'.
No doubt Simon will talk about someone being relevant/current.
And Cheryl will say 'I thoroughly enjoyed that'
http://www.instyle.co.uk/celebrity/news/19-things-which-will-probably-happen-on-the-x-factor-this-year
We could probably add a few, like Simon saying 'I didn't like it...I loved it' or 'Louis, you are a miserable old man'...
The old chestnuts 'You owned the stage' and 'You made that song your own'.
No doubt Simon will talk about someone being relevant/current.
And Cheryl will say 'I thoroughly enjoyed that'
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Similarly, Cheryl will call a young male auditionee, probably holding an acoustic guitar, "cute", causing him to also laugh and smile awkwardly.
When either of the above walk into the arena audition, we'll see a girl comment or giggle excitedly to her friend next to her.
A Westlife and/or Leona Lewis song will feature heavily in all the "You're through!" segments.
An irritating, loud personality or a "quirky" singer will be put through to the live shows over a clearly more talented favourite.
Rihanna, Leona Lewis and One Direction will be recycled for the live show guest slots.
Mel B will rip bad singers to shreds with her grating accent
Simon's pen will be getting swashed about as he comments
Louis will try not to lay a pot of gold
2) The media will stoke rumours of a hellish feud between Mel & Cheryl because, y'know, two prominent women can never get along.
3) Simon will vote out the blatantly better singer in a sing-off, and make up some bullshit reason about the crap but marketable singer "wanting it more".
4) Fat/ old/ ugly (delete as applicable) munter walks out (in the arena auditions) and we cut to shots of the audience rolling their eyes and generally looking like a bunch of entitled morons. Said fat/ old/ ugly munter will then turn out to have a halfway decent singing voice and the audience will start braying, mouths agape, like sea lions being pelted with raw fish.
An old dear will come out on stage and request a date with Louis, completely unaware that Louis would be more interested in her grandson(!) - Simon will love the whole thing!
Contestant will state they've worked so hard all their lives just to be given a chance. There is so much on the line here!! Contestant will be a 16 year old with absolutely no real life experience whatsoever.
Strictly, I'm not so sure, read the announcement of the new presenting team on their official Blog, a lot of people say they won't be watching this year. Doctor Who's anniversary special got 10.6million viwers, which Strictly and X Factor both have, at some point during their lives, won on a weekly basis. So it probably won't be serious competition, but I may be proven wrong
With the return of Simon and Cheryl and SO much media speculation, from print to TV, mainly since March, there's a lot of buzz around this series and IF the talent is good, with the odd character, and the judges are on top form, then I think X Factor will easily win more viewers - it did for seven series' after all, and has remained the biggest show in Europe (apparently) in terms of buzz and social media - you don't see Scrictly rumours and speculation all year round, although there was a bit this year after Brucie's departure.
I think the best show will win, it could be any of the three
Going back on topic, I reckon we're sure to see Louis saying "You're only 16!", "You look and sound like a popstar", "you're different", "we make this show to find someone like you" and "You remind me of a young..." ;-)
This!!
A boy will be told that he isn't good enough, which will then cause him to ball his eyes out like a baby that has had a toy taken away, which will then get him a place in the lives as a solo artist or as a part of some group that cannot sing for sh!t, but they are good looking and will appeal to teenage girls with more hormones than brains. Or a Boy will have a good voice & ball his eyes out every single week until he gets booted off.
It won't go a whole series without someone singing Whitney's "I Have Nothing"!
The judges will reject a contestant but then will have a change of heart and after the contestant has already left the building or is about to leave the building the judge will hunt them down and say that they would like the contestant to come back the next day and try another song
"Guess what, Im back Darling. I missed my little Lou-Lou"
Simon will comment on someone's outfit and/or backing dancers, rather than on the vocals.
The act opening the show in week 1 will most likely be in the sing off.
If a favourite (with the producers) isn't doing too well in the votes, they will always be given a slot in the second half of the show.
There will be a blonde diva who has an alright voice, but she is put through purely for entertainment value.
Louis will shout "YOU'RE TRUE!" at Judge's Houses.
Simon will say "I didn't like it.. I LOVED it!"
Boring renditions of Skinny Love, The Power of Love, any Ellie Goulding song, etc...
Mel B will criticise someone and they will cry
They will put together a manufactured boy and girl band from people who weren't good enough on their own.
There will be a segment of people getting through to the next round with Take That's "Greatest Day" playing in the background.
Someone will try to serenade Cheryl through an R&B song.
Or JLS 'One Shot' ;-)
A mediocre boy band/girl band will be told there's a "gap in the market" for them
Simon will tell one act that he could hear this kind of thing in any local pub on a Saturday evening and Louis will (rightly) point out that Simon doesn't go to pubs
Louis will refuse to choose between his two acts in the bottom 2
Cheryl gets up on stage to hug a female contestant in tears
At least one dig at The Voice
Scotland/Wales auditions featuring crowd shots of someone dressed in a kilt/as a dragon; carrying bagpipes/a plastic daffodil
John Legend's All of Me is this year's over-massacred audition song
Rihanna/Miley performs to be followed by an outraged article in the Daily Mail about their skimpy outfit and its lack of suitability for a family show (complete with extensive photos)
Somebody sings Feeling Good in the final
Nobody mentions the cancellation of XF USA
You forgot Michael Buble performing and Dermots awkward moments.