Got off on the wrong foot with colleague

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  • cdtaylor_natscdtaylor_nats Posts: 816
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    Are you sure he wasn't set up. It's an easy one - you tell the new start that if he wants coffee he should just ask the person in question to make it.
  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] Posts: 7,363
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    The boss should have mentioned to him that turns were taken and that you were not the skivvy of the office.
    I hope he doesnt ask you again, if he does just reiterate where the kitchen is. Watch him though if hes going to be like this straight away whats he going to turn into?
    I agree.
    What a cheek, good thing is he probably won't ask the OP again, cheeky so and so. He sounds pretty arrogant to me.
  • annette kurtenannette kurten Posts: 39,543
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    how effing petty can you get. if he carries on with those kind of capers he`ll get on the boss`s nerves.
  • Babe RainbowBabe Rainbow Posts: 34,349
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    Emmersonne wrote: »
    My boss isn't his boss, sadly, so he may have been reticent to tell him off.

    He didn't need to "tell him off" - he just needed to reiterate what you had already told the guy; that the office does not have a tea lady.

    I would actually be more pissed off with him than the new guy.
  • SmallalienSmallalien Posts: 1,044
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    eurogrrl wrote: »
    Wow - the cheek of some people. I think I would've preferred your boss to say something like "I'm sorry you felt that way. One of the things you'll find about our culture here is that we like to share duties like that - we feel it's beneficial to team-building. I've worked with Emmersonne a long time, and I've never known her to be rude to other staff members." The "she didn't mean it like that" is pretty weak - I'm sure your boss didn't want to trample this guy on his first day, but he needs to give the impression that he won't allow others to treat his staff with disrespect.

    I'd suggest acting as though it was a misunderstanding, but I'd start documenting your interactions with this guy. The words "sexual harassment" came to mind immediately, and while one instance doesn't necessarily constitute sexual harassment, multiple run-ins certainly can. I'm sure the complaining to your boss was his pathetic attempt to boost his own ego (anyone else would've been too embarrassed), but if it happens again, I'd go to your boss immediately after setting him straight again. Don't give this guy any chance to trash you to your boss - he sounds like a nightmare on two feet.

    Sexual harassment is when the harassment is actually sexual e.g. asking for sexual favours or intercourse under threat of losing your job or in exchange for promotion etc.

    This is sexual discrimination - which is treating someone differently because of their sex, but not in an an actually sexual way.
  • SmallalienSmallalien Posts: 1,044
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    He didn't need to "tell him off" - he just needed to reiterate what you had already told the guy; that the office does not have a tea lady.

    I would actually be more pissed off with him than the new guy.

    I'm not sure if the boss realised what had actually happened - I think he might have thought that she was making a round of coffee and refused to make him one.

    She should be making sure with her boss that it's very clear she is not the tea lady and will not be doing it if he asks again.
  • Joey BoswellJoey Boswell Posts: 25,141
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    The new guy sounds a complete and utter twassock.

    As others have said, just keep an eye on him.
  • Babe RainbowBabe Rainbow Posts: 34,349
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    Smallalien wrote: »
    I'm not sure if the boss realised what had actually happened - I think he might have thought that she was making a round of coffee and refused to make him one.

    She should be making sure with her boss that it's very clear she is not the tea lady and will not be doing it if he asks again.

    Yes, the new guy might have spun it to sound like something it wasn't.
  • GlowbotGlowbot Posts: 14,847
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    Lmfao!
    assuming he wasn't set up as a new guy prank...
    You lucky lucky person to have disovered a prize knob to wind up in the office. Im not sure if you have a serious office environment, but most people I work with would crack up over this.
    I admire and feel for you that you somehow thought this was your bad. He should not have told anyone and I would be flabberghasted if anyone took his side!

    If this happened to me I would see the funny side firstly... and it's important that you never let him assert any authority upon you EVER now. Never apologise or do his work for him.
    You probably wouldn't do this for fear of looking obnoxious (not something that bothers me) but I definitely would be tempted to ask him "would you like a drink?" and if he says yes, tell him there's plenty water in the tap.
  • Phoenix86Phoenix86 Posts: 229
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    My old boss used to walk past all the male employees and pick a female (either me or another female colleague) to make tea/coffee whenever he had a meeting. It was so blatant!

    I would be seething too and, no, you're not overreacting.
  • IC89IC89 Posts: 1,637
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    Sounds like an idiot of wonderful proportions.

    I work in a similar environment OP. There are five people on my floor. I am 22 and joined two months ago, there's a PA, a director, myself, another person and a department manager, just like you said he was, working alone.

    We take it in turns (bar the director, he doesn't make em!) to make the drinks. No-one is petty or silly about it and no matter how long anyone has been here (ranging from two months to 16 years!) drinks are made by whoevers turn it is, no questions asked.

    Keep an eye on him and make sure he doesn't dig at you or pick at you as a consequence. Such a petty div.
  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] Posts: 188
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    My friend used to work for a boss who used to signal with his hand that he wanted a drink. She made him one and then always rang the dishcloth out in it and spat in it before she gave him it.
  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] Posts: 511
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    To be honest, whilst mentioning it to your manager I'd mention that you're recording the incident as this had led to a complaint being raised against you. Then your manager will be under no illusion that you'll take any shit of this new guy.
  • PinkPetuniaPinkPetunia Posts: 5,479
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    How dare he act like he owns the place .OP watch your back and expalin to your boss how upset you felt by his tittle tattling ,
  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] Posts: 432
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    Wondering what happened today OP, did the new guy make his own coffee or offer to make a round?
  • sadoldbirdsadoldbird Posts: 9,626
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    OP, you didn't get off on the wrong foot, he did.

    For a new guy he's made a lot of assumptions. And it's never good if the new guy starts complaining on his first day. Don't worry, folk like that always piss off other people too.

    Keep your distance. Be polite always. And only make coffee when it's your turn.
  • Babe RainbowBabe Rainbow Posts: 34,349
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    My friend used to work for a boss who used to signal with his hand that he wanted a drink. She made him one and then always rang the dishcloth out in it and spat in it before she gave him it.

    That is disgusting :(
  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] Posts: 2,606
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    OP, I'd be interested to hear what happens with this guy. I don't think I'm alone in hoping he gets taken down a peg or two.
    That is disgusting :(

    And almost certainly not true.
  • bossoftheworldbossoftheworld Posts: 4,941
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    OP, I'd be interested to hear what happens with this guy. I don't think I'm alone in hoping he gets taken down a peg or two.



    And almost certainly not true.

    I used to work for an absolute xxxhole and always had to make coffee for him, I was sooooooo tempted to spit in his coffee. One day I did, but emptied the cup out and made a fresh one. I just couldn't do it - wish I had now!
  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] Posts: 21,093
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    Phoenix86 wrote: »
    My old boss used to walk past all the male employees and pick a female (either me or another female colleague) to make tea/coffee whenever he had a meeting. It was so blatant!

    I suffer from 'can't keep my gob shut' I wouldn't have put up with that.
  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] Posts: 188
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    OP, I'd be interested to hear what happens with this guy. I don't think I'm alone in hoping he gets taken down a peg or two.



    And almost certainly not true.
    .

    If you knew the woman involved you would believe it were true. Its hardly far fetched. The woman has blackmailed people for money and even robbed a drug dealer- so spitting in someones drink is virtually nothing.
  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] Posts: 840
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    just don't drink tea or coffee.
  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] Posts: 21,093
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    just don't drink tea or coffee.

    How will that stop some fella expecting her to make his?
  • KidPokerKidPoker Posts: 4,294
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    OP, I'd be interested to hear what happens with this guy. I don't think I'm alone in hoping he gets taken down a peg or two.



    And almost certainly not true.

    How can you be almost certain?

    What factual evidence do you have that even slightly confirm this statement to be true?

    What qualifications or powers do you have that enable you to make such hypotheses when you do not know any of the people involved,, or their personal habits?
  • SmallalienSmallalien Posts: 1,044
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    I REALLY want to know what happened the next day. OP, pleeeeeaaaaseeee come back.
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