Rhyming gossip
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This is the thread for those wishing to express their showbiz gossip in the form of a poem.*
For instance:
Renee and Kenny
have split,
like so many.
I imagine their lawyers
will make a pretty penny.
(*yes, I am bored!)
For instance:
Renee and Kenny
have split,
like so many.
I imagine their lawyers
will make a pretty penny.
(*yes, I am bored!)
0
Comments
Ha, ha - very good - and SO true!
Kate Garraway's pregnant.
That's why she looks beat.
If the baby is breastfed,
It's in for a treat.
Having a snort
She got very high
She reached the sky
But the Mirror brought her down with a bang.
Are you well hung ?
If it's true
Can I come to you ?
he's got a stupid name
his dads a rubbish dancer
mom looks like she's on the game
get straight,
before it's too late.
Or an early grave,
could be your fate.
If you croak,
tell Pete where your stash is,
so he won't resort
to snortin' your ashes.
which determines your strength.
It's not the girth
which determines your worth.
Charlotte, why are you in every mag?
Always puffing on a ****.
Is Gav as orange as he seems?
Will your babies look like nectarines?
That orange geordie lass
She bought a new rabbit
It became her new habit
So Stu got kicked out on his ass.
Their wedding it sure looked a treat
So over the top
We all had a pop
But they'll earn several million from Heat
just to look at a bunch of slags
i have no time
for these rubbish rhymes
so there!
Hey Jude
I saw you nude
Don't try to fake it
I saw you naked
Hey Jude,
Dont be afraid
There are ways to make it look loooonger,
Remember, to keep it hidden when cold,
then you will find, it looks much better, better better better ohhhhhhhhh!
She had a cheating feller
We saw the piccie
He's got a little *****
Sienna's better off on her own!
But can't get in Colleen's "shopping bag".
Col's clothes make her look like a slapper,
But Wayne daren't sarcastically clap her.
Life without Colleen can be so hard
And Wayney's ball skills get the red card.
Unlike Michelle Bass who's becoming a singer
Jade's helping ladies who look like a minger
she's no idea what she's doing though
if you've got a whiffy la-la, she don't want to know
smelly kebabs aint welcome
and it's a safe bet
anyone that has to go to somewhere called ugly
deserves all they get!
LOL superb!
Heard her man had been dipping his wick
So she stopped eating dinner
Got thinner and thinner
And now she resembles a stick
Orlando Bloom as Bond?
My wife's idea of heaven.
But I don't think it works.
'Cos Bond's not aged eleven.
Decided to split
He thinks he's like Robbie
We think he's a tit.
She lost her marbles
And then hit the skids
Though she seems to foget
That shes got two kids
Along comes Ok mag
To pick up her bills
By telling the public
That she's on diet pills
But now she's got Dave
And the weddings back on
Brians sh*gging Delta
But his career has all gone
'Taste' was a word never said
With rings from Lizzie Duke
they made us want to puke!
Pink and breasts the theme
It all looked quite unclean
Even the bridemaids queued
to have their ankles tatooed!
None of Pete's ex's were there
The day wasn't theirs to share
Instead they've made a killing
OK! are the ones they are billing!
There's lots of celebs to see!
All tucked up and pampered in bed
Ready for a Heat Magazine Spread!
'Brian has left me!'
'Can't cope, I was a man'
'Can't lose weight quick enough'
'I've got a fake orange tan!'
Bleating away
All shouting, 'Poor me!'
But making a packet
From an 'amazing' recovery!
Possessive and predatory!
She's elbowed lucky Stuart
Who's next? Anthony?
You look like toss
Let's all shout it louder
'It's such a pity
You once were pretty
Stop the Columbian Marching Powder'.