Nice to see you there, and welcome to week three of The Next Series 5! A week ago, our couples had danced for the second time, but it turned out to be Ashley Walters and his partner Aliona Vilani whose Salsa let you down and you gave them the old heave ho. But which of our remaining couples will be next? It's scary just to think about it. But first, I know just what time it is - 8.25! Seriously, though, it's time to meet the starts of our show!
Award-winning pop princess Jamelia and her partner Aljaz Skorjanec
Actor and comedian Bob Mortimer and his partner Iveta Lukosiute
Supermodel extraordinaire Marie Helvin and her partner Anton du Beke
Olympic diver Chris Mears and his partner Ola Jordan
Stage and screen heroine Samantha Bond and her partner Kevin Clifton
Golfing legend Justin Rose and his partner Natalie Lowe
Model and socialite Millie Mackintosh and her partner Brendan Cole
Football manager Roy Hodgson and his partner Joanne Clifton Holby City actress Chizzy Akudolu and her partner Tristan MacManus
Star of EastEndersCharlie Brooks and her partner Pasha Kovalev
Author and feminist figure Germaine Greer and her partner Robin Windsor
And finally, international screen star James Marsters and his partner Karen Hauer
This evening will see our couples take on either a Samba or a Quickstep. Once they've all strutted their stuff, the voting will open in time for the results show, where we'll say goodbye to another. Still, we've got a whole show before that, and I think now's a good time to start it!
Our first couple this evening go by the name of Chizzy & Tristan!
Training
‘Oh, wow. That was my reaction to last week, oh wow! We got praise, it was great’, Chizzy says, describing the outcome of her and Tristan’s Foxtrot. ‘He loved it, I loved it, it couldn’t have gone better. Well, Craig called me Paul Ross, which wasn’t ideal. Hello! I have breasts!’, she continues, pointing out said breasts. Moving onto this week, and Chizzy and Tristan will be performing the Samba, and shall be opening the show whilst doing so. ‘I’ve never opened anything before. Well, there was a Costcutter branch, once, but all I had to do was cut a ribbon. The mayor was there, too. Lovely day. Sorry, back to the Samba!’
Craig: This was a fair improvement from the past couple of weeks, it must be said. The fact that you’re not one puff out of breath right now speaks volume for itself. I loved the choreography, Tristan, because it definitely allowed Chizzy to bring some of her own character to this dance and it was therefore much more of a grand spectacle. If you carry on at this rate, we may be seeing the two of you for quite a while longer in this competition.
Darcey: Really, I so admire your energy going into this, Chizzy! You were letting nothing stop you on your path to Samba glory, and I can tell you now that nothing did. For someone in week three to start their dance with a solo that confident and fearless, it’s almost out of the ordinary. I think you’d have happily danced the rest of the piece without Tristan! Not that I’d want that. Poor Tristan. But yes, a wonderful opener indeed.
Len: It could have done with just a touch more Samba content, but other than that, I really can’t complain. It was fun, full of funk and a real blast to open with. It’s great to see how our couples can mix up these dances each week and put their own spin on them so to speak, and yours was very modern which doesn’t usually resonate all too well with me, but I thoroughly enjoyed the whole thing. Good job.
Bruno: Surprisingly, I don’t know much about baseball, but I’m sure that would surpass all the home runs in the world. Home runs are baseball, right? Baseball is[/] is a sport, right? Oh, forget it. You shook your tush as if that’s what you were born doing, and like Beyoncé herself, this was a dance that I was crazy in love with. Keep on improving!
Scores Craig: 7 Darcey: 8 Len: 7 Bruno: 7
Total
29/40
'What?!', Chizzy proceeds to pretend faint at the eight paddle appearing. Or at least, we think she's pretending...
Training
Justin and Natalie’s Salsa last time saw them manage to avoid the dreaded bottom two, which the former calls a ‘really nice surprise’. ‘Our scores were pretty good, but I think I was just in the mentality of being prepared to go back there. So I’m so grateful for people picking up the phone and voting for Natalie and I, which means that we’re coming back with a Quickstep in your face!’. The two’s Quickstep is going ‘well’ in training, or at least according to Natalie. ‘He’s been picking up the steps really well, which bodes well for show day’, she tells us, before returning to dance.
Craig: You utterly fluffed up that forward kicking section and judging by the look of dread that fell upon your face as you did so, I expect you knew it. However, casting that aside, it was quite a nice dance. I can’t deny that it was more entertaining than your last attempt at Ballroom was, and even if you were a tad slow, it’s heading in the right direction.
Darcey: That was one quick Quickstep, you’re right on that front! And whilst I thought there were certain points where you couldn’t quite keep up with the music, you know, I just adored the charisma you managed to bring to this. We’ve criticised you before – well, some of us more than others – about being about one-dimensional in your performances. Well, your performance this time had ten thousand dimensions to it!
Len: I’ve got a long list written down here and it’s almost all positive, Justin. A sturdy frame, lots of bounce in the feet region, many a strong turn, lovely positioning of your chin – I’m surprised Craig didn’t pick up on that one – and possibly most important of all, a great deal of aplomb that’s been missing before. Of course, it wasn’t all cupcakes and rainbows, but for right here, right now, that was wonderful.
Bruno: Look at you, Natalie, playing it all sultry and Justin playing it all smooth. A nice combination if I say so myself. Justin, my dear, you do need to get your movements under control a little more to be able to keep u with Natalie, since you were falling behind a little. Still, my fellow panelists are right, you really performed the dance this time around and as a result, you’re on the right track. Just don’t fall off the figurative wagon.
Scores Craig: 6 Darcey: 7 Len: 7 Bruno: 6
Total
26/40
Justin and Natalie hug as they receive their highest total to date.
Training
‘I’m so happy that our scores are on the rise’, Chris mentions. ‘To be fair, it’s all Ola’s hard work that goes into making me look at least presentable on the night, so to see that determination and belief in me pay off is just great. Hopefully that trend will continue this time around, but I won’t get too big for my boots. After all, it’s the Samba that we’re going to have to deal with!’. We then see the pair in the training room, rehearsing this number. ‘Before anything, Chris had to get to grips with the music. He wasn’t aware that anything actually existed pre-1995!’, Ola quips.
Craig: Apart from some very slight issues, darling, taking into consideration that we’re only just into the third week of this show, that was quite something. Something I found really special was just how much you managed to mirror Ola, which made the whole thing nearly seem as if you were two professional dancers as opposed to an amateur and a pro. Like I said, there were still issues, but this was a top notch Samba.
Darcey: Yes, this was a dance to remember! Pun intended. Sorry. But joking aside, Chris, this dance has shown just why you’re one of our top celebrities this year. It had everything that you could ever ask for from a Samba in it – fast movement, sublime hip action… not that I was only paying attention that… and overall, an overwhelming sense of fun.
Len: Goody goody, that was exciting, wasn’t it? More bounce than Jo Brand bungee jumping, more smiles than a comedy club, and more travelling bota fogos than… well, a synonym for that one’s a little trickier, but I’ve lots more favourable feedback where that came from. Whilst I would have liked to have seen you be ever so slightly more free in what you were doing, of all the male celebrities who’ve done this dance, you’re right up there, Chris.
Bruno: Chris, my love, that was one heck of a disco-dancing Samba spectacular! I felt like I was in Studio 54, except… well, never mind what I may have been doing, but that was one fun dance. You were constantly synchronised, there was barely a step off. Witchcraft’s got to be involved in that, surely? Whatever was behind it, what I can say is that was one hot Samba and I’m already tingling at the thought of what you’ll do next week.
Scores Craig: 8 Darcey: 8 Len: 8 Bruno: 9
Total
33/40
Both parties react with shock... followed by very, very loud cheering!
Following them in the running order are Samantha and Kevin!
Training
‘The Salsa was fairly daunting, I’ll admit, but receiving the really nice comments that we did gave me a wonderful boost of confidence that I needed quite a lot after the stressful week that I’d had’, we hear Samantha saying. Kevin says that he ‘knew’ Samantha needn’t have worried as much as she did (‘it almost always goes all right on the night, and even if it doesn’t, just smile and pretend it never happened!’). This week, the pair have been tasked with learning the Quickstep, which Samantha mentions is ‘pretty darn fast – I’m going through thirty bottles of water a day at this rate!’
Craig: Domestic violence-endorsing lyrics aside, I must admit that I liked this a lot. You went into it with a lot of gusto and ‘welly’, whatever that word means, and it paid off as you managed not to lose the energy you began with. However, you really do need to work on maintaining the strength in your upper body, which was one of the only things that let you down during that. Otherwise, Samantha, it was pretty splendid.
Darcey: Sometimes you became a little too relaxed and you let your whole core drop down, did you notice that? Don’t worry if not, those are just little things that we have to point out, it’s just me being fussy. Anyway, I can’t point out many more little things because the rest of the dance was really good, Samantha! You really excel where footwork’s concerned, trust me, that was as light as a feather on top of a cloud.
Len: That smile of yours reached from ear to ear, so it’s clear to see how much you were loving that. And guess what, me too! Not once did you slow down the pace or have a quick stop off, no siree. From the moment the music kicked in, you flicked and you kicked and you hopped, skipped and jumped, and I found it overall really quite pleasant!
Bruno: Samantha, you bolt of lightning, you! Usain had better watch out, you’re on your way to stealing his crown. As the others have pointed out, your shoulders and the surrounding areas got a little wibbly wobbly for lack of a better phrase, but that’s all technical schmechnical stuff that would bore us all to tears – the important thing being, this is one lady who can dance her socks off! Probably literally.
Scores Craig: 7 Darcey: 7 Len: 7 Bruno: 7
Total
28/40
'I don't actually advocate violence of any sort, let me just get that out there!', Samantha laughs.
Training
Germaine begins to tell us about last week’s Foxtrot. ‘Well, I think it ran relatively smoothly. Of course., a few things went wrong here and there which I’ll probably forever kick myself for, but nothing too drastic’. She then laughs that, ‘as the song we were dancing to was titled You’re So Vain, Robin’s been taking extra care not to look in the mirror all week. He’s even began to cover up a little. I’m sure the song wasn’t about him, mind…’ The topic of conversation then moves onto the upcoming Samba, for which Robin can only say, ‘don’t worry, half a week’s a very long time’ to his partner. Sounds promising.
Craig: Not great, no. Far from it, actually. For starters, I don’t think the music choice evoked many mental images of a Brazilian carnival, which made it difficult to get into any sort of spirit than that of a rainy afternoon in King’s Lynn, and then there didn’t appear to be much effort put into it on your part, Germaine… just not a good dance, simple as.
Darcey: It wasn’t your greatest hour, I don’t think, but I think we can all appreciate just how difficult a dance the Samba is to pull off, and that’s what we need to take in mind. Not to mention the fact that you’re our oldest contestant. We can’t expect everything of you! But having said that, I still have to be honest, and I saw that a lot of your movements weren’t carried through, you didn’t finish off your lines, et cetera. Sorry, Germaine.
Len: I can’t help but agree with the two to my left here, and whilst I can’t knock you for enthusiasm, there was little good to be found about this number. Everything seemed to be running on battery power, without much charge or force to drive you through the dance. Come on, love, where’s that fighting spirit? Samantha’s dance was an example of somebody giving it some welly, now we just need you to do the same!
Bruno: Germaine, Germaine, Germaine. I don’t think even Elton can save you after that. Watching it, it reminded me somewhat of a dance at a wedding reception, except granny’s had too many drinks and has fallen asleep in the middle of the floor. Robin was dragging you around, you were doing the completely wrong steps half of the time… it was just generally messy.
Scores Craig: 3 Darcey: 5 Len: 5 Bruno: 4
Total
17/40
Robin tries to comfort his partner. 'Look, I'm sure they're all just holding their paddles upside down'.
The sixth couple of the evening come in the form of Bob and Iveta!
Training
‘Ooh, that wasn’t too bad. Well, it was bad, but in a good way’, Bob smiles at the head of a brand new week of training. He is of course referring to his Salsa, which closed the last performance show and split the judges, though he and Iveta were praised for their entertainment factor. ‘That’s what this show is all about, after all. Strictly Come Entertaining. Wait, what dancing?’ On the subject of dancing, the twosome have the Quickstep this week, danced to a song from the film Trainspotting. ‘Ivetatata told me it was her favourite film. She doesn’t understand half of it, but she likes it anyway’. In the background, Iveta nods.
Craig: Yes, there was some gapping on a couple of occasions, yes, your feet tended to have a mind of their own and yes, it got fairly frantic as the dance went on, but I still enjoyed it! You’re a real showman, Bob, and what this was is one big show. As has been mentioned, it wasn’t technically perfect, but rough diamonds can always be made into glimmering crystals. There’s always time, remember.
Darcey: It wasn’t your greatest hour, I don’t think, but I think we can all appreciate just how difficult a dance the Samba is to pull off, and that’s what we need to take in mind. Not to mention the fact that you’re our oldest contestant. We can’t expect everything of you! But having said that, I still have to be honest, and I saw that a lot of your movements weren’t carried through, you didn’t finish off your lines, et cetera. Sorry, Germaine.
Len: You’ve certainly got a lot of lust for life, but I’m not too sold on whether that lust is shared when it comes to how you danced this Quickstep. Don’t get me wrong, it was good enough, but there were certain points where it all needed a bit of good old spring cleaning. If I were you, I’d have pulled my frame up, tightened my hold and strapped in for the ride that is the Quickstep. Wet your feet a little!
Bruno: It was all a bit kooky and crazy, Bob, even more so than any of your shows ! That’s Iveta’s choreography for you. But no, in terms of the dancing itself, it was far from the cleanest that it could have been. There was hardly any care taken when it came to what your limbs were doing, either – I thought they were going to take my eyes out!
Scores Craig: 5 Darcey: 6 Len: 6 Bruno: 5
Total
22/40
'Trainspotting's the one with Thomas the tank engine, isn't it?', asks a puzzled Iveta once the scores flash up.
Training
Charlie tells of how last week was ‘very relieving’, in that she was able to perform the Foxtrot, which she calls ‘nice and relaxing’. ‘I didn’t have to have sort of character in mind when I danced it, I could just have a breather and let Pasha do all the work!’, she laughs. ‘But this time around, it’s the Samba, and I’ve got to be all sultry and sexy. I know I do that for a living when I play Janine, but I’m nothing like that whatsoever!’. We then see Pasha trying various methods to try and bring out Charlie’s natural sexy side, none of which are all that successful. ‘Well, this is going well’, he jokes, putting his whip away.
Craig: Apart from a mistake around halfway through, that I must say you managed to recover well from, this was technically a very good number. You put so much character and sex appeal into the whole thing that helped to create the illusion of being transported to a faraway land, rather than… well, a studio in Borehamwood. It’s just a shame about the aforementioned mistake, really.
Darcey: Charlie, my word, this was certainly the Janine side to you that we saw this evening! What would Pat Butcher say? She’d probably steal your earrings for starters. No, really, this was one great dance. I also noticed that one ever-so-slight slip up over in the corner – I’m sorry, I’m can’t un-see it – but despite that, this was an extraordinary Samba.
Len: Ooh, I’m getting all hot under the collar. Don’t do these sort of things to me, Charlie! That was fast, that was furious, a touch on the risque side but we all need a bit of that in our lives from time to time. Whatever character you return with next week, be it the seductress we saw tonight or something completely different, I can just tell that it’ll be a treat. You don’t need to read any tea leaves to work that one out!
Bruno: You scoundrel! You sexpot! You saucy minx! It’s a good thing this show is closer to the watershed than usual… in all seriousness, I’m probably not the target market for this if you catch my drift, but as a Samba, I loved it. You were like a snake charmer, slithering your way up to Pasha and getting a dance off him. I’m green with envy. You’re continuing your reign as queen of this show, trust me!
Scores Craig: 7 Darcey: 7 Len: 8 Bruno: 8
Total
30/40
Charlie jokingly sighs with relief, 'I can stop being sexy now!'
Training
‘Slow? How dare they call us slow. They’ve just got slow eyes, that’s all’, Anton insists, talking about the judges’ criticism of his and Marie’s Salsa. ‘We’re not all Eugene Bolt, you know!’. Marie then has her say, telling us that ‘the judges didn’t like our dance last week, so we’ve got a chance of winning them back with the incredibly fast Quickstep. I’ve told Anton that I’m willing to work as hard as I’ve ever done to make sure that we get this one completely right and that I don’t take a single step wrong. Fingers crossed that everything will go okay and most importantly, I don’t throw up!’
Craig: Your left arm especially had a tendency to hover up and down, which for me distorted the look of the pair of you in hold. Thankfully, your lower half was better, which actually surprised me. I noticed lots of complex step sequences that you carried off well… well enough… and it wasn’t clunky in any way, which is what happens often in the Quickstep. Yes, it was far from perfect, but I suppose it was better.
Darcey: It was faster than last week’s dance, that’s something! And I’m really glad that you managed to keep up with this speed, because we’ve seen enough tonight what the dangers of falling behind your partner are. Anton lead you wonderfully and aside from a couple of issues with your arm in hold, you followed up his lead very well. Try and continue on this path and your marks will go up and up.
Len: The combination of Anton, the Quickstep and a bit of Billy Joel is a fool proof one, and that dance just proved that. It wasn’t without its niggles, you know, but you covered your tracks smoothly and all in all, it was a charming dance. Just never put Anton in a baby blue suit ever again, for the sake of the nation. Hang on, I’m turning into Bruno…
Bruno: Oh, I don’t think it’s that bad a suit, Len. He’s had worse. Far worse. Those Latin shirts, for one… so much hair… anyway, back on topic. Yeah, that was nice. It had a nice pace to it, and like Darcey said, Marie, you managed to keep up with Anton. Not that he’s known for his quickness, but it’s something. You do need to try and sort out your arm placement, though – just don’t take any advice from Bob!
Scores Craig: 5 Darcey: 6 Len: 6 Bruno: 6
Total
23/40
'This is the peak of fashion, you know!'. Anton tries to defend his suit.
Training
We first hear of how ‘thrilled’ James was that he and Karen scored a row of perfect eights last week following their Foxtrot. ‘No joke, I was punching the air when I read those scores. For Karen’s choreography and that wonderful music choice of Ol’ Blue Eyes to come together like that, and for me to be somehow praised for it, that’s a moment you don’t let go of easily!’. Karen then says of how she’s put a ‘twist’ on the classic Samba this week, telling us that she wants to make things ‘interesting for both the judges and the people watching at home. Hopefully, the nation will be foot shuffling along on the night!’
Craig: Another strong piece, it must be said. There were one or two occasions on which I spotted you taking a misstep or something along those lines, but there were far more good aspects to that dance than bad. I’ve never seen somebody dance a Samba in a suit before, but it can’t be denied that you’re one suave soul indeed. Well done, darling.
Darcey: The Samba isn’t the first thing that usually comes to mind when we think of fifties and sixties glamour, but you managed to blend the two really well, and that was great to see. I do think that it could have done with being a slight bit tidier, but that’s in no way a criticism, just a possible improvement. Anyway, as with almost anything you dance, I really loved this, and I just know that you’ll return for another dance next week.
Len: Classic is just the word that I’d use for this, my son. It wasn’t technically perfect – I noticed a few boo boos in the footwork, after all – but what I really admire is how you threw yourself into this and gave it a good go. As long as you’ve got that spirit, any dance of yours is going to be as great as the last, I just know it. Now, come back and blow us away once more in the Ballroom, James.
Bruno: James, the man who keeps on delivering! You’re like a postman. One who turns up on time, that is. But let’s not criticise the postal services, let’s recognise how good a dance that was! Aside from one or two moments, there wasn’t a foot out of place, you mirrored all of Karen’s steps as if by magic, and you carried the whole thing out with a smile on your face. And unlike a certain person on the other end of the panel, you didn’t need Botox to do so!
Scores Craig: 7 Darcey: 7 Len: 8 Bruno: 7
Total
29/40
James and Karen both nod along to the scores, with the former saying, 'can't disagree with that!'
Training
Millie and Brendan’s scores have been increasing since their first week Cha-Cha-Cha, which wasn’t well received to say the least. ‘It’s a lovely feeling to see that they’re acknowledging the effort that we put in to get better and better each week. They liked our Ballroom dance last week, so here’s hoping that they’ll do the same with our Quickstep’. We’re shown snippets of the couple practicing this dance, after which Brendan praises her hold and ‘amazing Ballroom lines’, but says that they still need to brush up on some of the smaller areas – ‘so there’s no relaxing just yet!’
Craig: From that lacklustre dance in the very first week, you’ve come a long way, darling. This wasn’t incredible by any stretch, let’s be frank, but it was a step in the right direction. Your leg extensions in particular were lovely, I thought, and you managed a constant bounce action that’s notoriously difficult for an amateur to achieve. However, your head was tilted too far left, and I could probably have squeezed a bus between that gap…
Darcey: If there was a dance to show your skill set off, the Quickstep would be it – it’s about both the show and the tell in equal measures. And you got that mix just right. From this, it was pretty to clear to see that you’re quite a lot better when it comes to the Ballroom routines, Millie, but that’s not to say that there isn’t time to spruce up your Latin technique. We’ve got two months left, after all!
Len: I certainly know how I feel about that Quickstep now, Millie, and that’s that it was ruddy impressive! Craig’s just exaggerating, I think, that seems to be his way. He’s never happy for anyone. But for those who can see the good in things, this was like candy to the eyes. Fizzling, cracking and popping all over the shop, and it left quite a sweet taste in the mouth afterwards.
Bruno: Mackintosh the majestic! You flew around that dancefloor, didn’t you? Of course, it was a way off perfect, I won’t pretend that it wasn’t, but you’re gradually becoming a very strong force in the Ballroom dances. This Quickstep demonstrated why – it was a high-kicking, head-tilting, Sugababe-singing dancing extravaganza , and I liked it a lot.
Scores Craig: 6 Darcey: 7 Len: 8 Bruno: 7
Total
27/40
'Three sevens? I'm in heaven', Brendan the poet laughs as he dramatically clutches his forehead.
The evening's penultimate couple are Roy and Joanne!
Training
‘I didn’t think we did too badly’, Roy lets us know. ‘I did what I was told, didn’t I, Joanne? Yes, I did, she says. Ta Joanne. But the judges didn’t like it, and this time we ended up in the bottom two. We were close to being knocked out. Like we were in the World Cup. Sorry, everyone’. In order to take Roy’s mind off of England for a while, she’s decided to take a very different approach to the Samba for this week’s show. ‘When people think of the Samba, they think South America, they think Brazil. But we’re taking the dance to the other side of the world – Japan!’. ‘I like sushi’, says Roy.
Craig: Quite easily one of the worst Sambas I’ve had the misfortune of watching in the many long years I’ve been judging this show. In fact, the period I’ve been on this panel hasn’t felt as long as the time it took for you to complete a single spin there. Thank goodness for Joanne attempting to make this slightly entertaining (using the vaguest sense of the word), or I’d have ben clawing my own eyes out before you could say ‘racially insensitive costuming’.
Darcey: No words, Roy! No words. Wow. Goodness me. I’m… it was… wow. I think the main thing that we have to take out of this is that you had a go at it. I mean, you weren’t any good, but at least you had a go at it. Okay, technically you didn’t really have much of a go, but if you really squinted… maybe… let’s just move onto Len now, shall we?...
Len: Well, that was definitely pushing the definition of dancing… look, Roy, I like you, we all do, but you didn’t bloody do anything! All I saw was Joanne twirling around as you did a few limp karate chops in the middle. Come on, that’s not even the right martial art, mate. If you’re back here next time, and it’s one big if, you’ve got to step up your game massively or you’ll be a very small fish in a very big pond. See, Len can do analogies too.
Bruno: I’m too busy laughing to comment! Roy, it was a terrible dance, but at the same time it was unintentional comedy genius for all the wrong reasons. The ‘scrap the dancing, I’ll just stand on the spot and swing side-to-side’ mentality isn’t the most conventional approach to the Samba, or anything at all, really. The sadistic side of me really wants to see you back here for show four, but I think you’ll have to pray hard to get there!
Training
Jamelia and Aljaz’s Salsa last weekend saw them receive glowing praise from our panel, although they admitted that they’d have liked to have seen a little more attention in the footwork department. ‘We’re pulling out all the stops this week to make sure that our Quickstep is as good as it can be, technically speaking. Aljaz has put together a brilliant routine and what I want to do most is do it justice, so hopefully with all areas being inspected, I’ll be able to that come show night!’. Upon being quizzed if it’s looking promising for the pair, Aljaz replies, ‘oh, it definitely is!’, grinning.
Craig: If I’d compiled a list of artists suitable for dancing the Quickstep to prior to this, Cheryl Tweedy… sorry, Cole… sorry, whatever it is now, I don’t read Heat, would have been relatively low. However, the choreography for this played right to my tastes and it was performed to a standard where I couldn’t do anything bar sit in amazement for the full minute and a half. I do hope that you continue on this streak.
Darcey: We’ve called other dances that we’ve seen tonight quick, but my goodness, this was just on a whole other level! Speaking of twists that have been put on dances, this had a really interesting pop-ish, urban feel that is so unusual for a Quickstep that made it really stand out. Added to some really high-level dancing, this performance was one that I just know I’ll be thinking about for weeks to come.
Len: I hadn’t imagined that something so different as this would be something I’d have been a fan of, but in the words of Cilla herself, surprise surprise! I was certainly a fan, Jamelia. Nothing was crazy nor stupid about this Quickstep, despite it being more than a tad unconventional, but oh, you danced it so blooming well. It’s a great big thumbs up from me.
Bruno: After Roy’s… I can’t call it a dance, anything would have seemed good, but this really was something special. It had so many elements to it, so many different ingredients. There was the sugary sweetness of your dancing, Jamelia, the spice of Aljaz’s choreography, and the flavoursome combination that occurs when the two of you get together to dance. Bellissimo, my friends!
Scores Craig: 8 Darcey: 8 Len: 8 Bruno: 9
Total
33/40
Jamelia's jaw drops to the floor as Bruno holds up his nine paddle.
Ta da! We've seen a lot (some may say too much) this evening, ranging from whips and domestic violence to Costcutter, films with trains in them, and perhaps most bizarrely of them all, whatever Roy Hodgson just did. Anyway, with twelve brand new dances, we've also got twelve new scores. Let's see who's landed where on this week's leaderboard, shall we?
= 1. Chris Mears & Ola - 33/40 (12 points)
= 1. Jamelia & Aljaz - 33/40 (12 points)
3. Charlie Brooks & Pasha - 30/40 (11 points)
= 4. Chizzy Akudolu & Tristan - 29/40 (10 points)
= 4. James Marsters & Karen - 29/40 (10 points)
6. Samantha Bond & Kevin - 28/40 (9 points)
7. Millie Mackintosh & Brendan - 27/40 (8 points)
8. Justin Rose & Natalie - 26/40 (7 points)
9. Marie Helvin & Anton - 23/40 (6 points)
10. Bob Mortimer & Iveta - 22/40 (5 points)
11. Germaine Greer & Robin - 17/40 (4 points)
12. Roy Hodgson & Joanne - 13/40 (3 points)
And here's a recap of what went on this evening...
Chizzy & Tristan Samba to Home Run [Misha B]: 7+8+7+7 = 29/40
Justin & Natalie Quickstep to Man Like That [Gin Wigmore]: 6+7+7+6 = 26/40
Chris & Ola Samba to A Night to Remember [Shalamar]: 8+8+8+9 = 33/40
Samantha & Kevin Quickstep to Kiss With a Fist [Florence + the Machine]: 7+7+7+7 = 28/40
Germaine & Robin Samba to Are You Ready for Love [Elton John]: 3+5+5+4 = 17/40
Bob & Iveta Quickstep to Lust For Life [Iggy Pop]: 5+6+6+5 = 22/40
Charlie & Pasha Samba to Kiss Kiss [Holly Valance]: 7+7+8+8 = 30/40
Marie & Anton Quickstep to Tell Her About It [Billy Joel]: 5+6+6+6 = 23/40
James & Karen Samba to Classic [MKTO]: 7+7+8+7 = 29/40
Millie & Brendan Quickstep to About You Now [Sugababes]: 6+7+7+7 = 27/40
Roy & Joanne Samba to Kung Fu Fighting [Carl Douglas]: 2+4+4+3 = 13/40
Jamelia & Aljaz Quickstep to Crazy Stupid Love [Cheryl Cole & Tinie Tempah]: 8+8+8+9 = 33/40
Interestingly, last week's no. 3 and 4 (Chris and Jamelia respectively) rocket up to nab the joint top spots, as last week's joint toppers fall to no. 3 and joint 4 (Charlie and James respectively). And... there Roy is, at the bottom. At least he's got his sushi to keep him company this time. But do you want the chance to turn this mother on its head? Voting is now open, so now's your chance! Please rank our couples from 12-1 (12 as your favourite, down to 1), and I'll be back tomorrow evening at 8.30pm to announce who's polled in position #12, whilst we'll also be joined in the studio by Paloma Faith and Kiesza for a nice little sing song. Girl power an' stuff. But until then, keeeep dancing!
Hello, and welcome to the third results show of Strictly Come Dancing 2014! Just over twenty four hours ago, our couples danced once more, but for one of them, tonight'll be their third time unlucky. As as has been said, the voting is now closed. And stuff.
Before we begin the results, let's welcome the first of the evening's musical guests. With a performance for her new single Trouble With My Baby (and joined by a Jiving Pasha and Ola), it's Paloma Faith!
(https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hXrUOXxiGjw)
Couples safe so far
Roy and Joanne
Chizzy and Tristan
Chris and Ola
Charlie and Pasha
Justin and Natalie
Samantha and Kevin
Millie and Brendan
Jamelia and Aljaz
James and Karen
Bob and Iveta, and Marie and Anton. The last couple with a guaranteed place in Week 4 are...
You danced to Tell Her About It, and I'm telling you how you'll coming back here next time to perform once more!
This means that Bob and Iveta join Germaine and Robin in the bottom two. One of you will leave tonight.
However, I'm in a sadistic mood, so I'll leave them sweating three or so minutes longer. In that time, we'll welcome tonight's second musical guest. With her new single Giant In My Heart, please welcome Kiesza!
(https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MDUoSpDKwXk)
Comments
Award-winning pop princess Jamelia and her partner Aljaz Skorjanec
Actor and comedian Bob Mortimer and his partner Iveta Lukosiute
Supermodel extraordinaire Marie Helvin and her partner Anton du Beke
Olympic diver Chris Mears and his partner Ola Jordan
Stage and screen heroine Samantha Bond and her partner Kevin Clifton
Golfing legend Justin Rose and his partner Natalie Lowe
Model and socialite Millie Mackintosh and her partner Brendan Cole
Football manager Roy Hodgson and his partner Joanne Clifton
Holby City actress Chizzy Akudolu and her partner Tristan MacManus
Star of EastEnders Charlie Brooks and her partner Pasha Kovalev
Author and feminist figure Germaine Greer and her partner Robin Windsor
And finally, international screen star James Marsters and his partner Karen Hauer
This evening will see our couples take on either a Samba or a Quickstep. Once they've all strutted their stuff, the voting will open in time for the results show, where we'll say goodbye to another. Still, we've got a whole show before that, and I think now's a good time to start it!
Our first couple this evening go by the name of Chizzy & Tristan!
‘Oh, wow. That was my reaction to last week, oh wow! We got praise, it was great’, Chizzy says, describing the outcome of her and Tristan’s Foxtrot. ‘He loved it, I loved it, it couldn’t have gone better. Well, Craig called me Paul Ross, which wasn’t ideal. Hello! I have breasts!’, she continues, pointing out said breasts. Moving onto this week, and Chizzy and Tristan will be performing the Samba, and shall be opening the show whilst doing so. ‘I’ve never opened anything before. Well, there was a Costcutter branch, once, but all I had to do was cut a ribbon. The mayor was there, too. Lovely day. Sorry, back to the Samba!’
Dance
Samba
Music
Misha B's Home Run
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LaOw35GBPQw
Craig: This was a fair improvement from the past couple of weeks, it must be said. The fact that you’re not one puff out of breath right now speaks volume for itself. I loved the choreography, Tristan, because it definitely allowed Chizzy to bring some of her own character to this dance and it was therefore much more of a grand spectacle. If you carry on at this rate, we may be seeing the two of you for quite a while longer in this competition.
Darcey: Really, I so admire your energy going into this, Chizzy! You were letting nothing stop you on your path to Samba glory, and I can tell you now that nothing did. For someone in week three to start their dance with a solo that confident and fearless, it’s almost out of the ordinary. I think you’d have happily danced the rest of the piece without Tristan! Not that I’d want that. Poor Tristan. But yes, a wonderful opener indeed.
Len: It could have done with just a touch more Samba content, but other than that, I really can’t complain. It was fun, full of funk and a real blast to open with. It’s great to see how our couples can mix up these dances each week and put their own spin on them so to speak, and yours was very modern which doesn’t usually resonate all too well with me, but I thoroughly enjoyed the whole thing. Good job.
Bruno: Surprisingly, I don’t know much about baseball, but I’m sure that would surpass all the home runs in the world. Home runs are baseball, right? Baseball is[/] is a sport, right? Oh, forget it. You shook your tush as if that’s what you were born doing, and like Beyoncé herself, this was a dance that I was crazy in love with. Keep on improving!
Scores
Craig: 7
Darcey: 8
Len: 7
Bruno: 7
Total
29/40
'What?!', Chizzy proceeds to pretend faint at the eight paddle appearing. Or at least, we think she's pretending...
Training
Justin and Natalie’s Salsa last time saw them manage to avoid the dreaded bottom two, which the former calls a ‘really nice surprise’. ‘Our scores were pretty good, but I think I was just in the mentality of being prepared to go back there. So I’m so grateful for people picking up the phone and voting for Natalie and I, which means that we’re coming back with a Quickstep in your face!’. The two’s Quickstep is going ‘well’ in training, or at least according to Natalie. ‘He’s been picking up the steps really well, which bodes well for show day’, she tells us, before returning to dance.
Dance
Quickstep
Music
Gin Wigmore's Man Like That
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=is6AFxPkTAA
Craig: You utterly fluffed up that forward kicking section and judging by the look of dread that fell upon your face as you did so, I expect you knew it. However, casting that aside, it was quite a nice dance. I can’t deny that it was more entertaining than your last attempt at Ballroom was, and even if you were a tad slow, it’s heading in the right direction.
Darcey: That was one quick Quickstep, you’re right on that front! And whilst I thought there were certain points where you couldn’t quite keep up with the music, you know, I just adored the charisma you managed to bring to this. We’ve criticised you before – well, some of us more than others – about being about one-dimensional in your performances. Well, your performance this time had ten thousand dimensions to it!
Len: I’ve got a long list written down here and it’s almost all positive, Justin. A sturdy frame, lots of bounce in the feet region, many a strong turn, lovely positioning of your chin – I’m surprised Craig didn’t pick up on that one – and possibly most important of all, a great deal of aplomb that’s been missing before. Of course, it wasn’t all cupcakes and rainbows, but for right here, right now, that was wonderful.
Bruno: Look at you, Natalie, playing it all sultry and Justin playing it all smooth. A nice combination if I say so myself. Justin, my dear, you do need to get your movements under control a little more to be able to keep u with Natalie, since you were falling behind a little. Still, my fellow panelists are right, you really performed the dance this time around and as a result, you’re on the right track. Just don’t fall off the figurative wagon.
Scores
Craig: 6
Darcey: 7
Len: 7
Bruno: 6
Total
26/40
Justin and Natalie hug as they receive their highest total to date.
Training
‘I’m so happy that our scores are on the rise’, Chris mentions. ‘To be fair, it’s all Ola’s hard work that goes into making me look at least presentable on the night, so to see that determination and belief in me pay off is just great. Hopefully that trend will continue this time around, but I won’t get too big for my boots. After all, it’s the Samba that we’re going to have to deal with!’. We then see the pair in the training room, rehearsing this number. ‘Before anything, Chris had to get to grips with the music. He wasn’t aware that anything actually existed pre-1995!’, Ola quips.
Dance
Samba
Music
Shalamar's A Night to Remember
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=is6AFxPkTAA
Craig: Apart from some very slight issues, darling, taking into consideration that we’re only just into the third week of this show, that was quite something. Something I found really special was just how much you managed to mirror Ola, which made the whole thing nearly seem as if you were two professional dancers as opposed to an amateur and a pro. Like I said, there were still issues, but this was a top notch Samba.
Darcey: Yes, this was a dance to remember! Pun intended. Sorry. But joking aside, Chris, this dance has shown just why you’re one of our top celebrities this year. It had everything that you could ever ask for from a Samba in it – fast movement, sublime hip action… not that I was only paying attention that… and overall, an overwhelming sense of fun.
Len: Goody goody, that was exciting, wasn’t it? More bounce than Jo Brand bungee jumping, more smiles than a comedy club, and more travelling bota fogos than… well, a synonym for that one’s a little trickier, but I’ve lots more favourable feedback where that came from. Whilst I would have liked to have seen you be ever so slightly more free in what you were doing, of all the male celebrities who’ve done this dance, you’re right up there, Chris.
Bruno: Chris, my love, that was one heck of a disco-dancing Samba spectacular! I felt like I was in Studio 54, except… well, never mind what I may have been doing, but that was one fun dance. You were constantly synchronised, there was barely a step off. Witchcraft’s got to be involved in that, surely? Whatever was behind it, what I can say is that was one hot Samba and I’m already tingling at the thought of what you’ll do next week.
Scores
Craig: 8
Darcey: 8
Len: 8
Bruno: 9
Total
33/40
Both parties react with shock... followed by very, very loud cheering!
Training
‘The Salsa was fairly daunting, I’ll admit, but receiving the really nice comments that we did gave me a wonderful boost of confidence that I needed quite a lot after the stressful week that I’d had’, we hear Samantha saying. Kevin says that he ‘knew’ Samantha needn’t have worried as much as she did (‘it almost always goes all right on the night, and even if it doesn’t, just smile and pretend it never happened!’). This week, the pair have been tasked with learning the Quickstep, which Samantha mentions is ‘pretty darn fast – I’m going through thirty bottles of water a day at this rate!’
Dance
Quickstep
Music
Florence + the Machine's Kiss With A Fist
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1SmxVCM39j4
Craig: Domestic violence-endorsing lyrics aside, I must admit that I liked this a lot. You went into it with a lot of gusto and ‘welly’, whatever that word means, and it paid off as you managed not to lose the energy you began with. However, you really do need to work on maintaining the strength in your upper body, which was one of the only things that let you down during that. Otherwise, Samantha, it was pretty splendid.
Darcey: Sometimes you became a little too relaxed and you let your whole core drop down, did you notice that? Don’t worry if not, those are just little things that we have to point out, it’s just me being fussy. Anyway, I can’t point out many more little things because the rest of the dance was really good, Samantha! You really excel where footwork’s concerned, trust me, that was as light as a feather on top of a cloud.
Len: That smile of yours reached from ear to ear, so it’s clear to see how much you were loving that. And guess what, me too! Not once did you slow down the pace or have a quick stop off, no siree. From the moment the music kicked in, you flicked and you kicked and you hopped, skipped and jumped, and I found it overall really quite pleasant!
Bruno: Samantha, you bolt of lightning, you! Usain had better watch out, you’re on your way to stealing his crown. As the others have pointed out, your shoulders and the surrounding areas got a little wibbly wobbly for lack of a better phrase, but that’s all technical schmechnical stuff that would bore us all to tears – the important thing being, this is one lady who can dance her socks off! Probably literally.
Scores
Craig: 7
Darcey: 7
Len: 7
Bruno: 7
Total
28/40
'I don't actually advocate violence of any sort, let me just get that out there!', Samantha laughs.
Training
Germaine begins to tell us about last week’s Foxtrot. ‘Well, I think it ran relatively smoothly. Of course., a few things went wrong here and there which I’ll probably forever kick myself for, but nothing too drastic’. She then laughs that, ‘as the song we were dancing to was titled You’re So Vain, Robin’s been taking extra care not to look in the mirror all week. He’s even began to cover up a little. I’m sure the song wasn’t about him, mind…’ The topic of conversation then moves onto the upcoming Samba, for which Robin can only say, ‘don’t worry, half a week’s a very long time’ to his partner. Sounds promising.
Dance
Samba
Music
Elton John's Are You Ready for Love
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4QSA7pSvh-o
Craig: Not great, no. Far from it, actually. For starters, I don’t think the music choice evoked many mental images of a Brazilian carnival, which made it difficult to get into any sort of spirit than that of a rainy afternoon in King’s Lynn, and then there didn’t appear to be much effort put into it on your part, Germaine… just not a good dance, simple as.
Darcey: It wasn’t your greatest hour, I don’t think, but I think we can all appreciate just how difficult a dance the Samba is to pull off, and that’s what we need to take in mind. Not to mention the fact that you’re our oldest contestant. We can’t expect everything of you! But having said that, I still have to be honest, and I saw that a lot of your movements weren’t carried through, you didn’t finish off your lines, et cetera. Sorry, Germaine.
Len: I can’t help but agree with the two to my left here, and whilst I can’t knock you for enthusiasm, there was little good to be found about this number. Everything seemed to be running on battery power, without much charge or force to drive you through the dance. Come on, love, where’s that fighting spirit? Samantha’s dance was an example of somebody giving it some welly, now we just need you to do the same!
Bruno: Germaine, Germaine, Germaine. I don’t think even Elton can save you after that. Watching it, it reminded me somewhat of a dance at a wedding reception, except granny’s had too many drinks and has fallen asleep in the middle of the floor. Robin was dragging you around, you were doing the completely wrong steps half of the time… it was just generally messy.
Scores
Craig: 3
Darcey: 5
Len: 5
Bruno: 4
Total
17/40
Robin tries to comfort his partner. 'Look, I'm sure they're all just holding their paddles upside down'.
Training
‘Ooh, that wasn’t too bad. Well, it was bad, but in a good way’, Bob smiles at the head of a brand new week of training. He is of course referring to his Salsa, which closed the last performance show and split the judges, though he and Iveta were praised for their entertainment factor. ‘That’s what this show is all about, after all. Strictly Come Entertaining. Wait, what dancing?’ On the subject of dancing, the twosome have the Quickstep this week, danced to a song from the film Trainspotting. ‘Ivetatata told me it was her favourite film. She doesn’t understand half of it, but she likes it anyway’. In the background, Iveta nods.
Dance
Quickstep
Music
Iggy Pop's Lust for Life
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jQvUBf5l7Vw
Craig: Yes, there was some gapping on a couple of occasions, yes, your feet tended to have a mind of their own and yes, it got fairly frantic as the dance went on, but I still enjoyed it! You’re a real showman, Bob, and what this was is one big show. As has been mentioned, it wasn’t technically perfect, but rough diamonds can always be made into glimmering crystals. There’s always time, remember.
Darcey: It wasn’t your greatest hour, I don’t think, but I think we can all appreciate just how difficult a dance the Samba is to pull off, and that’s what we need to take in mind. Not to mention the fact that you’re our oldest contestant. We can’t expect everything of you! But having said that, I still have to be honest, and I saw that a lot of your movements weren’t carried through, you didn’t finish off your lines, et cetera. Sorry, Germaine.
Len: You’ve certainly got a lot of lust for life, but I’m not too sold on whether that lust is shared when it comes to how you danced this Quickstep. Don’t get me wrong, it was good enough, but there were certain points where it all needed a bit of good old spring cleaning. If I were you, I’d have pulled my frame up, tightened my hold and strapped in for the ride that is the Quickstep. Wet your feet a little!
Bruno: It was all a bit kooky and crazy, Bob, even more so than any of your shows ! That’s Iveta’s choreography for you. But no, in terms of the dancing itself, it was far from the cleanest that it could have been. There was hardly any care taken when it came to what your limbs were doing, either – I thought they were going to take my eyes out!
Scores
Craig: 5
Darcey: 6
Len: 6
Bruno: 5
Total
22/40
'Trainspotting's the one with Thomas the tank engine, isn't it?', asks a puzzled Iveta once the scores flash up.
Training
Charlie tells of how last week was ‘very relieving’, in that she was able to perform the Foxtrot, which she calls ‘nice and relaxing’. ‘I didn’t have to have sort of character in mind when I danced it, I could just have a breather and let Pasha do all the work!’, she laughs. ‘But this time around, it’s the Samba, and I’ve got to be all sultry and sexy. I know I do that for a living when I play Janine, but I’m nothing like that whatsoever!’. We then see Pasha trying various methods to try and bring out Charlie’s natural sexy side, none of which are all that successful. ‘Well, this is going well’, he jokes, putting his whip away.
Dance
Samba
Music
Holly Valance's Kiss Kiss
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6BGAryS37oo
Craig: Apart from a mistake around halfway through, that I must say you managed to recover well from, this was technically a very good number. You put so much character and sex appeal into the whole thing that helped to create the illusion of being transported to a faraway land, rather than… well, a studio in Borehamwood. It’s just a shame about the aforementioned mistake, really.
Darcey: Charlie, my word, this was certainly the Janine side to you that we saw this evening! What would Pat Butcher say? She’d probably steal your earrings for starters. No, really, this was one great dance. I also noticed that one ever-so-slight slip up over in the corner – I’m sorry, I’m can’t un-see it – but despite that, this was an extraordinary Samba.
Len: Ooh, I’m getting all hot under the collar. Don’t do these sort of things to me, Charlie! That was fast, that was furious, a touch on the risque side but we all need a bit of that in our lives from time to time. Whatever character you return with next week, be it the seductress we saw tonight or something completely different, I can just tell that it’ll be a treat. You don’t need to read any tea leaves to work that one out!
Bruno: You scoundrel! You sexpot! You saucy minx! It’s a good thing this show is closer to the watershed than usual… in all seriousness, I’m probably not the target market for this if you catch my drift, but as a Samba, I loved it. You were like a snake charmer, slithering your way up to Pasha and getting a dance off him. I’m green with envy. You’re continuing your reign as queen of this show, trust me!
Scores
Craig: 7
Darcey: 7
Len: 8
Bruno: 8
Total
30/40
Charlie jokingly sighs with relief, 'I can stop being sexy now!'
Training
‘Slow? How dare they call us slow. They’ve just got slow eyes, that’s all’, Anton insists, talking about the judges’ criticism of his and Marie’s Salsa. ‘We’re not all Eugene Bolt, you know!’. Marie then has her say, telling us that ‘the judges didn’t like our dance last week, so we’ve got a chance of winning them back with the incredibly fast Quickstep. I’ve told Anton that I’m willing to work as hard as I’ve ever done to make sure that we get this one completely right and that I don’t take a single step wrong. Fingers crossed that everything will go okay and most importantly, I don’t throw up!’
Dance
Quickstep
Music
Billy Joel's Tell Her About It
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p0pM5dm--yQ
Craig: Your left arm especially had a tendency to hover up and down, which for me distorted the look of the pair of you in hold. Thankfully, your lower half was better, which actually surprised me. I noticed lots of complex step sequences that you carried off well… well enough… and it wasn’t clunky in any way, which is what happens often in the Quickstep. Yes, it was far from perfect, but I suppose it was better.
Darcey: It was faster than last week’s dance, that’s something! And I’m really glad that you managed to keep up with this speed, because we’ve seen enough tonight what the dangers of falling behind your partner are. Anton lead you wonderfully and aside from a couple of issues with your arm in hold, you followed up his lead very well. Try and continue on this path and your marks will go up and up.
Len: The combination of Anton, the Quickstep and a bit of Billy Joel is a fool proof one, and that dance just proved that. It wasn’t without its niggles, you know, but you covered your tracks smoothly and all in all, it was a charming dance. Just never put Anton in a baby blue suit ever again, for the sake of the nation. Hang on, I’m turning into Bruno…
Bruno: Oh, I don’t think it’s that bad a suit, Len. He’s had worse. Far worse. Those Latin shirts, for one… so much hair… anyway, back on topic. Yeah, that was nice. It had a nice pace to it, and like Darcey said, Marie, you managed to keep up with Anton. Not that he’s known for his quickness, but it’s something. You do need to try and sort out your arm placement, though – just don’t take any advice from Bob!
Scores
Craig: 5
Darcey: 6
Len: 6
Bruno: 6
Total
23/40
'This is the peak of fashion, you know!'. Anton tries to defend his suit.
Training
We first hear of how ‘thrilled’ James was that he and Karen scored a row of perfect eights last week following their Foxtrot. ‘No joke, I was punching the air when I read those scores. For Karen’s choreography and that wonderful music choice of Ol’ Blue Eyes to come together like that, and for me to be somehow praised for it, that’s a moment you don’t let go of easily!’. Karen then says of how she’s put a ‘twist’ on the classic Samba this week, telling us that she wants to make things ‘interesting for both the judges and the people watching at home. Hopefully, the nation will be foot shuffling along on the night!’
Dance
Samba
Music
MKTO's Classic
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4Ba_qTPA4Ds
Craig: Another strong piece, it must be said. There were one or two occasions on which I spotted you taking a misstep or something along those lines, but there were far more good aspects to that dance than bad. I’ve never seen somebody dance a Samba in a suit before, but it can’t be denied that you’re one suave soul indeed. Well done, darling.
Darcey: The Samba isn’t the first thing that usually comes to mind when we think of fifties and sixties glamour, but you managed to blend the two really well, and that was great to see. I do think that it could have done with being a slight bit tidier, but that’s in no way a criticism, just a possible improvement. Anyway, as with almost anything you dance, I really loved this, and I just know that you’ll return for another dance next week.
Len: Classic is just the word that I’d use for this, my son. It wasn’t technically perfect – I noticed a few boo boos in the footwork, after all – but what I really admire is how you threw yourself into this and gave it a good go. As long as you’ve got that spirit, any dance of yours is going to be as great as the last, I just know it. Now, come back and blow us away once more in the Ballroom, James.
Bruno: James, the man who keeps on delivering! You’re like a postman. One who turns up on time, that is. But let’s not criticise the postal services, let’s recognise how good a dance that was! Aside from one or two moments, there wasn’t a foot out of place, you mirrored all of Karen’s steps as if by magic, and you carried the whole thing out with a smile on your face. And unlike a certain person on the other end of the panel, you didn’t need Botox to do so!
Scores
Craig: 7
Darcey: 7
Len: 8
Bruno: 7
Total
29/40
James and Karen both nod along to the scores, with the former saying, 'can't disagree with that!'
Training
Millie and Brendan’s scores have been increasing since their first week Cha-Cha-Cha, which wasn’t well received to say the least. ‘It’s a lovely feeling to see that they’re acknowledging the effort that we put in to get better and better each week. They liked our Ballroom dance last week, so here’s hoping that they’ll do the same with our Quickstep’. We’re shown snippets of the couple practicing this dance, after which Brendan praises her hold and ‘amazing Ballroom lines’, but says that they still need to brush up on some of the smaller areas – ‘so there’s no relaxing just yet!’
Dance
Quickstep
Music
Sugababes' About You Now
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XvoAvPjADsE
Craig: From that lacklustre dance in the very first week, you’ve come a long way, darling. This wasn’t incredible by any stretch, let’s be frank, but it was a step in the right direction. Your leg extensions in particular were lovely, I thought, and you managed a constant bounce action that’s notoriously difficult for an amateur to achieve. However, your head was tilted too far left, and I could probably have squeezed a bus between that gap…
Darcey: If there was a dance to show your skill set off, the Quickstep would be it – it’s about both the show and the tell in equal measures. And you got that mix just right. From this, it was pretty to clear to see that you’re quite a lot better when it comes to the Ballroom routines, Millie, but that’s not to say that there isn’t time to spruce up your Latin technique. We’ve got two months left, after all!
Len: I certainly know how I feel about that Quickstep now, Millie, and that’s that it was ruddy impressive! Craig’s just exaggerating, I think, that seems to be his way. He’s never happy for anyone. But for those who can see the good in things, this was like candy to the eyes. Fizzling, cracking and popping all over the shop, and it left quite a sweet taste in the mouth afterwards.
Bruno: Mackintosh the majestic! You flew around that dancefloor, didn’t you? Of course, it was a way off perfect, I won’t pretend that it wasn’t, but you’re gradually becoming a very strong force in the Ballroom dances. This Quickstep demonstrated why – it was a high-kicking, head-tilting, Sugababe-singing dancing extravaganza , and I liked it a lot.
Scores
Craig: 6
Darcey: 7
Len: 8
Bruno: 7
Total
27/40
'Three sevens? I'm in heaven', Brendan the poet laughs as he dramatically clutches his forehead.
Training
‘I didn’t think we did too badly’, Roy lets us know. ‘I did what I was told, didn’t I, Joanne? Yes, I did, she says. Ta Joanne. But the judges didn’t like it, and this time we ended up in the bottom two. We were close to being knocked out. Like we were in the World Cup. Sorry, everyone’. In order to take Roy’s mind off of England for a while, she’s decided to take a very different approach to the Samba for this week’s show. ‘When people think of the Samba, they think South America, they think Brazil. But we’re taking the dance to the other side of the world – Japan!’. ‘I like sushi’, says Roy.
Dance
Samba
Music
Carl Douglas' Kung Fu Fighting
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jhUkGIsKvn0
Craig: Quite easily one of the worst Sambas I’ve had the misfortune of watching in the many long years I’ve been judging this show. In fact, the period I’ve been on this panel hasn’t felt as long as the time it took for you to complete a single spin there. Thank goodness for Joanne attempting to make this slightly entertaining (using the vaguest sense of the word), or I’d have ben clawing my own eyes out before you could say ‘racially insensitive costuming’.
Darcey: No words, Roy! No words. Wow. Goodness me. I’m… it was… wow. I think the main thing that we have to take out of this is that you had a go at it. I mean, you weren’t any good, but at least you had a go at it. Okay, technically you didn’t really have much of a go, but if you really squinted… maybe… let’s just move onto Len now, shall we?...
Len: Well, that was definitely pushing the definition of dancing… look, Roy, I like you, we all do, but you didn’t bloody do anything! All I saw was Joanne twirling around as you did a few limp karate chops in the middle. Come on, that’s not even the right martial art, mate. If you’re back here next time, and it’s one big if, you’ve got to step up your game massively or you’ll be a very small fish in a very big pond. See, Len can do analogies too.
Bruno: I’m too busy laughing to comment! Roy, it was a terrible dance, but at the same time it was unintentional comedy genius for all the wrong reasons. The ‘scrap the dancing, I’ll just stand on the spot and swing side-to-side’ mentality isn’t the most conventional approach to the Samba, or anything at all, really. The sadistic side of me really wants to see you back here for show four, but I think you’ll have to pray hard to get there!
Scores
Craig: 2
Darcey: 4
Len: 4
Bruno: 3
Total
13/40
'I like sushi', repeats Roy.
Training
Jamelia and Aljaz’s Salsa last weekend saw them receive glowing praise from our panel, although they admitted that they’d have liked to have seen a little more attention in the footwork department. ‘We’re pulling out all the stops this week to make sure that our Quickstep is as good as it can be, technically speaking. Aljaz has put together a brilliant routine and what I want to do most is do it justice, so hopefully with all areas being inspected, I’ll be able to that come show night!’. Upon being quizzed if it’s looking promising for the pair, Aljaz replies, ‘oh, it definitely is!’, grinning.
Dance
Quickstep
Music
Cheryl Cole & Tinie Tempah's Crazy Stupid Love
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H8tS5UQmNQM
Craig: If I’d compiled a list of artists suitable for dancing the Quickstep to prior to this, Cheryl Tweedy… sorry, Cole… sorry, whatever it is now, I don’t read Heat, would have been relatively low. However, the choreography for this played right to my tastes and it was performed to a standard where I couldn’t do anything bar sit in amazement for the full minute and a half. I do hope that you continue on this streak.
Darcey: We’ve called other dances that we’ve seen tonight quick, but my goodness, this was just on a whole other level! Speaking of twists that have been put on dances, this had a really interesting pop-ish, urban feel that is so unusual for a Quickstep that made it really stand out. Added to some really high-level dancing, this performance was one that I just know I’ll be thinking about for weeks to come.
Len: I hadn’t imagined that something so different as this would be something I’d have been a fan of, but in the words of Cilla herself, surprise surprise! I was certainly a fan, Jamelia. Nothing was crazy nor stupid about this Quickstep, despite it being more than a tad unconventional, but oh, you danced it so blooming well. It’s a great big thumbs up from me.
Bruno: After Roy’s… I can’t call it a dance, anything would have seemed good, but this really was something special. It had so many elements to it, so many different ingredients. There was the sugary sweetness of your dancing, Jamelia, the spice of Aljaz’s choreography, and the flavoursome combination that occurs when the two of you get together to dance. Bellissimo, my friends!
Scores
Craig: 8
Darcey: 8
Len: 8
Bruno: 9
Total
33/40
Jamelia's jaw drops to the floor as Bruno holds up his nine paddle.
= 1. Chris Mears & Ola - 33/40 (12 points)
= 1. Jamelia & Aljaz - 33/40 (12 points)
3. Charlie Brooks & Pasha - 30/40 (11 points)
= 4. Chizzy Akudolu & Tristan - 29/40 (10 points)
= 4. James Marsters & Karen - 29/40 (10 points)
6. Samantha Bond & Kevin - 28/40 (9 points)
7. Millie Mackintosh & Brendan - 27/40 (8 points)
8. Justin Rose & Natalie - 26/40 (7 points)
9. Marie Helvin & Anton - 23/40 (6 points)
10. Bob Mortimer & Iveta - 22/40 (5 points)
11. Germaine Greer & Robin - 17/40 (4 points)
12. Roy Hodgson & Joanne - 13/40 (3 points)
And here's a recap of what went on this evening...
Justin & Natalie Quickstep to Man Like That [Gin Wigmore]: 6+7+7+6 = 26/40
Chris & Ola Samba to A Night to Remember [Shalamar]: 8+8+8+9 = 33/40
Samantha & Kevin Quickstep to Kiss With a Fist [Florence + the Machine]: 7+7+7+7 = 28/40
Germaine & Robin Samba to Are You Ready for Love [Elton John]: 3+5+5+4 = 17/40
Bob & Iveta Quickstep to Lust For Life [Iggy Pop]: 5+6+6+5 = 22/40
Charlie & Pasha Samba to Kiss Kiss [Holly Valance]: 7+7+8+8 = 30/40
Marie & Anton Quickstep to Tell Her About It [Billy Joel]: 5+6+6+6 = 23/40
James & Karen Samba to Classic [MKTO]: 7+7+8+7 = 29/40
Millie & Brendan Quickstep to About You Now [Sugababes]: 6+7+7+7 = 27/40
Roy & Joanne Samba to Kung Fu Fighting [Carl Douglas]: 2+4+4+3 = 13/40
Jamelia & Aljaz Quickstep to Crazy Stupid Love [Cheryl Cole & Tinie Tempah]: 8+8+8+9 = 33/40
Interestingly, last week's no. 3 and 4 (Chris and Jamelia respectively) rocket up to nab the joint top spots, as last week's joint toppers fall to no. 3 and joint 4 (Charlie and James respectively). And... there Roy is, at the bottom. At least he's got his sushi to keep him company this time. But do you want the chance to turn this mother on its head? Voting is now open, so now's your chance! Please rank our couples from 12-1 (12 as your favourite, down to 1), and I'll be back tomorrow evening at 8.30pm to announce who's polled in position #12, whilst we'll also be joined in the studio by Paloma Faith and Kiesza for a nice little sing song. Girl power an' stuff. But until then, keeeep dancing!
Anyway, join me back here in half an hour when the next eliminee will be revealed!
Before we begin the results, let's welcome the first of the evening's musical guests. With a performance for her new single Trouble With My Baby (and joined by a Jiving Pasha and Ola), it's Paloma Faith!
(https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hXrUOXxiGjw)
Now, I think it would be good to start our results by visiting Roy & Joanne and Germaine & Robin...
Congratulations and commiserations respectively - we'll find out how Germaine's done later on.
Moving onto three Cs: Chizzy & Tristan, Chris & Ola and Charlie & Pasha...
Good going, guys! Unpack those bags, because you're through to week four.
And next to find out their fates? Justin & Natalie, Samantha & Kevin and Millie & Brendan, no less...
Well done to Justin, Samantha and Millie, who'll be back in the rehearsal room this week.
Are last night's joint table-toppers Jamelia & Aljaz coming back?
So, that's Jamelia and Aljaz through to week four, but who'll be joining them?
Will it be James & Karen?
Not bad, eh?
Couples safe so far
Roy and Joanne
Chizzy and Tristan
Chris and Ola
Charlie and Pasha
Justin and Natalie
Samantha and Kevin
Millie and Brendan
Jamelia and Aljaz
James and Karen
Bob and Iveta, and Marie and Anton. The last couple with a guaranteed place in Week 4 are...
You danced to Tell Her About It, and I'm telling you how you'll coming back here next time to perform once more!
This means that Bob and Iveta join Germaine and Robin in the bottom two. One of you will leave tonight.
However, I'm in a sadistic mood, so I'll leave them sweating three or so minutes longer. In that time, we'll welcome tonight's second musical guest. With her new single Giant In My Heart, please welcome Kiesza!
(https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MDUoSpDKwXk)