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Worst Facebook status updates

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    GurglesGurgles Posts: 1,520
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    ^^^ As above. When you delete someone do they get a notification? Or do you have to actively search through your friends list and cross reference the current list with yesterday's back-up file to check if they're all still your friend?

    There is an application called Social Fixer which tells you if someone deletes you or have deactivated their profile. Some people may be using that. I agree though, it's beyond sad that some people are keeping close tabs.
    anchorgirl wrote: »
    From one of those 'sleeping with the angles' threads:

    May you rest in pies sweet girl all miss you with ever inch of what I am xx

    Rest in pies :D:D:D sorry but this has really made me giggle.
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    [Deleted User][Deleted User] Posts: 1,254
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    Rest in pies is fantastic. :D
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    pearlsandplumspearlsandplums Posts: 29,594
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    this is from one of those buy/sell pages (ive no idea why its on that as its nothing to be bought or sold):

    Just made spag ball n pasta , sweet n sour n rice and a big 15lb sliverside. I ask kids wot use want for dinner n they say chinks feel like baten them all up head with it all ;(

    they're from belfast
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    [Deleted User][Deleted User] Posts: 7,888
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    Dim boyfriend girl again

    "**** is tha lov of ma life, wheneva I fink of him I get all happy and bothered inside, we ave such an advuntirous sex lyf ;) nd he says he luvs me on da same as tha cat, lyk u woodnt belive best bf eva, gota work ma way up"

    I actually met up with her recently and she told us that although it was her "time" her bf still got something last night. I can sleep a little better now I am reassured "her bb Johnni" is still getting some.
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    [Deleted User][Deleted User] Posts: 36,630
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    anchorgirl wrote: »
    From one of those 'sleeping with the angles' threads:

    May you rest in pies sweet girl all miss you with ever inch of what I am xx

    :D:D:D:D:D
    Sad as it is he/she has lost someone, I am afraid it would just be far too tempting for me not to comment on that bit.
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    [Deleted User][Deleted User] Posts: 36,630
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    **** This Right Off....If Ya Not Upto The Job Just Admit It! Don't Take It Out On Me Cos Im 6 Weeks Of Lost Sleep Past Bein Reasonable

    This from girl who has had quite a hard time over the past couple of years. She ended up homeless, living in a tent for a few months after falling out with her abusive Dad. But over the last year she has gotten herself together, now has a house, a boyfriend, a cute baby and a part time job and has made up with her family.

    Yet she still posts status updates almost every day about how horrible her life currently is, how evil everyone else is, how most of her friends hate her, how her baby never sleeps etc. etc.

    But if anyone asks what's up it is always "Don't Wanna Talk About It".

    Well stop f****** posting everything on FB then woman!.
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    Sophie ~Oohie~Sophie ~Oohie~ Posts: 10,395
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    This from girl who has had quite a hard time over the past couple of years. She ended up homeless, living in a tent for a few months after falling out with her abusive Dad. But over the last year she has gotten herself together, now has a house, a boyfriend, a cute baby and a part time job and has made up with her family.

    Yet she still posts status updates almost every day about how horrible her life currently is, how evil everyone else is, how most of her friends hate her, how her baby never sleeps etc. etc.

    But if anyone asks what's up it is always "Don't Wanna Talk About It".

    Well stop f****** posting everything on FB then woman!.
    Why not defriend her? And that story sounds a tiny bit unlikely to me, be very suspicious if she starts to ask for money. And living in a tent but still online? :o
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    DianaFireDianaFire Posts: 12,711
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    Dim boyfriend girl again

    "**** is tha lov of ma life, wheneva I fink of him I get all happy and bothered inside, we ave such an advuntirous sex lyf ;) nd he says he luvs me on da same as tha cat, lyk u woodnt belive best bf eva, gota work ma way up"

    I actually met up with her recently and she told us that although it was her "time" her bf still got something last night. I can sleep a little better now I am reassured "her bb Johnni" is still getting some.

    BIB1: How did she manage to spell that bit right? Is she a secret grammarian and slumming it for the lolz?

    BIB2: What on earth is a sex leaf?
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    Jason100Jason100 Posts: 17,222
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    DianaFire wrote: »
    BIB1: How did she manage to spell that bit right? Is she a secret grammarian and slumming it for the lolz?

    BIB2: What on earth is a sex leaf?

    Sex Lyf = Sex Life. :D
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    bookaddictbookaddict Posts: 2,806
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    Dim boyfriend girl again

    "**** is tha lov of ma life, wheneva I fink of him I get all happy and bothered inside, we ave such an advuntirous sex lyf ;) nd he says he luvs me on da same as tha cat, lyk u woodnt belive best bf eva, gota work ma way up"

    I actually met up with her recently and she told us that although it was her "time" her bf still got something last night. I can sleep a little better now I am reassured "her bb Johnni" is still getting some.

    :eek::eek: Some people have no idea how much information is too much, do they? :D I wonder if anyone has ever told them that you don't have to share every little thing that pops into their head!
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    Trsvis_BickleTrsvis_Bickle Posts: 9,202
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    Dim boyfriend girl again

    "**** is tha lov of ma life, wheneva I fink of him I get all happy and bothered inside, we ave such an advuntirous sex lyf ;) nd he says he luvs me on da same as tha cat, lyk u woodnt belive best bf eva, gota work ma way up"

    I actually met up with her recently and she told us that although it was her "time" her bf still got something last night. I can sleep a little better now I am reassured "her bb Johnni" is still getting some.

    Er, what's the cat got to do with her sex life?:confused:
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    [Deleted User][Deleted User] Posts: 36,630
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    Why not defriend her? And that story sounds a tiny bit unlikely to me, be very suspicious if she starts to ask for money. And living in a tent but still online? :o

    She didn't get back online until she got the house, and she's been a friend for years. I tend to hide her moaning posts, but every so often one comes along that just makes me shake my head.
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    trphiltrphil Posts: 2,931
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    Er, what's the cat got to do with her sex life?:confused:

    That's not something I want to imagine!
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    [Deleted User][Deleted User] Posts: 7,888
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    Er, what's the cat got to do with her sex life?:confused:

    Her boyfriend who she has a lot of sex with puts her on the same level of caring about as the cat apparently.
    DianaFire wrote: »
    BIB1: How did she manage to spell that bit right? Is she a secret grammarian and slumming it for the lolz?

    Wouldn't surprise me.
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    [Deleted User][Deleted User] Posts: 10,273
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    It's parents evening season again. Oh joy!!

    My FB wall is full of proud parents with children who are "a credit to them"... I think this must be something that teachers tell all parents.

    How did parents tell the world they had the best kids ever before Face Book??
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    [Deleted User][Deleted User] Posts: 36,630
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    GOGO2 wrote: »
    It's parents evening season again. Oh joy!!

    My FB wall is full of proud parents with children who are "a credit to them"... I think this must be something that teachers tell all parents.

    How did parents tell the world they had the best kids ever before Face Book??

    In the past they'd tell you to your face, I suppose at least today with FB those of us who aren't interested in what little Chalmydia, Jordan, Kylie or Tyson are up to can at just hide the posts. :D
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    CloudbustingCloudbusting Posts: 650
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    Mookyboy wrote: »
    This is from a friend who went away camping recently with his other half. This is the most pointless thing I have ever read on Facebook!

    "So I go into the tent and grab some pasties and pork pies from cool box for XYZ and I give them to him and he says I dont like pork pies". Why did you buy them then babes? "oh for you" how cute and loving is that I loves you XYZ, so thoughtful xxx"

    He bought you some pork pies, get over it!! :D

    :D:D:D

    Reading about these desperate buffoons does make me feel more secure about my own intelligence, though! :o
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    CloudbustingCloudbusting Posts: 650
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    Horton wrote: »
    Rest in pies is fantastic. :D

    Yes! It gave me a much needed laugh this evening. :p
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    los.kavlos.kav Posts: 8,053
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    Irish girl this time. This has been posted over the course of today.
    ma ma nanny iz on de phone she seyd me da is in de house lukin 4 us me lil princess wuz screamin diz mornin. i seyd wha, hez in de bleedin joy. me ma seyd u bettur get fukin home now hez goin fukin eppo n i kant kope. eh u kant kope? i kant fukin kope ma
    (the joy is Mountjoy, a prison)
    dat basturd wont leave me mas gaff until we cum home. well hell b fukin weightin de stupid kunt. me ma is on de fone every 10 minitez. u get home now rite. eh no ma i dnt tink so
    me ma iz a spa. u get home now. u get home. hez in diz gaff until u get home. eh ma ur feedin him fukin fryz n makin him cupz ov tea. datz ur own bleedin fault. den she seyd ye well wat am i spozed 2 do. eh ur spozed 2 tell him 2 fuk off n if dat duznt wurk den u get unkel mackur 2 trun him outta de gaff ye tik

    Pretty sure that whole page is a troll though. Has to be.
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    ChickenWingsChickenWings Posts: 2,057
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    I'm dead at "rest in pies"!
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    SuperAPJSuperAPJ Posts: 10,402
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    DianaFire wrote: »
    What on earth is a sex leaf?

    I like the sound of that, whatever it is!
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    The22ndRachelThe22ndRachel Posts: 652
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    los.kav wrote: »
    Irish girl this time. This has been posted over the course of today.

    (the joy is Mountjoy, a prison)





    Pretty sure that whole page is a troll though. Has to be.

    I love the "me ma iz a spa" line :D
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    [Deleted User][Deleted User] Posts: 3,606
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    Oi! Not all us Irish ladies are illiterate!!
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    los.kavlos.kav Posts: 8,053
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    Oi! Not all us Irish ladies are illiterate!!

    I'm perfectly literate and I'm Irish! But I think that page is someone writing as a North Sider Dublin girl would speak, for laughs. She has tons of followers, fair play to her.
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    Ella NutElla Nut Posts: 9,021
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    Dim boyfriend girl again

    "**** is tha lov of ma life, wheneva I fink of him I get all happy and bothered inside, we ave such an advuntirous sex lyf ;) nd he says he luvs me on da same as tha cat, lyk u woodnt belive best bf eva, gota work ma way up"

    I actually met up with her recently and she told us that although it was her "time" her bf still got something last night. I can sleep a little better now I am reassured "her bb Johnni" is still getting some.

    I have to ask, why on earth do you associate yourself with someone who talks and behaves this way?
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