Length of engagements
![[Deleted User]](https://we.vanillicon.com/v2/ee239d915b837638378c0448d0b890ff.svg)
[Deleted User]
Posts: 2,274 Forum Member
✭✭✭
How long were you engaged for before you got married?
I've always thought of 'getting engaged' to mean that you were now ready to get married. But an awful lot of people nowadays announce they're engaged and two years later they're still 'engaged' with no date picked out or marriage plans made.
I've always thought of 'getting engaged' to mean that you were now ready to get married. But an awful lot of people nowadays announce they're engaged and two years later they're still 'engaged' with no date picked out or marriage plans made.
0
Comments
If I ever got engaged it would probably be a year max before the wedding, I would want it all over and done with.
You're like my partner. He won't propose to me because he isn't ready to get married - we don't have the money for a house and I don't have a steady job. I know he's right but part of me just wants to be engaged. It's silly because my thinking is almost like, what does being engaged have to do with being married? But I know thats wrong. It would be one in the eye for his horrible stalker ex girlfriend too but that would not be the right reason for getting engaged
crazy
Yes, because you know our circumstances or reasons.
How can being happy be crazy?
For those of you who've been engaged for a good few years did you get engaged with the inention of getting married quite soon and circumstances changed or was it an open ended thing?
Genuine question - not having a go at anyone!?!
Genuinely out of curiosity, why did you get engaged if you had no plans to get married? Is it a public declaration of the seriousness and exclusivity of your relationship as opposed to a stated intention to get married?
It's because all his family lives in one country and all of mine live in another and getting everyone together would be a logistical and financial nightmare -- something we can't be arsed with just yet!
Plus his family are extremely Catholic and I'm atheist. They've also been a million more times supportive and helpful to us than my family in the past decade, so I couldn't just give them the finger and ignore their traditions, but neither could I have anything religious going on at my wedding. So there's have to be lots of compromising and discussion going on -- again, something we can't be arsed with just yet!
Could just have a quickie wedding. Maybe one day.
Its probably going to be a few years (probably round about 4 or 5) before we get married.
We live 2 and a half hours away from each other currently (both still living with parents, only see eachother with weekends) and we both want to be in the same place and living together before we get married. This may take a while to sort out with work commitments.
Also, we're saving up to live together and get married.
We would get married tomorrow if we could but at the moment, its just not feasible. A few things need to be sorted out first.
That is one messy situation!!!! I don't envy you trying to unravel that lot and keep everyone happy.
Hope you do though
Real life rarely conforms to a template though.
You see I always see a serious engagement as something that shows you want to get married and are at that stage in your relationship. I don't want my partner to ask me and then never walk down the aisle because to me I would be engaged to be married end of. If I was never going to get married then don't get engaged. Same goes for if it was going to be a long engagement, if it was going to 5, 6 10 years then he may as well have not asked me until a bit nearer the time.
Its like treating you to a passport but not booking a holiday
When he asked me to marry him it was with the intention of tying the knot after a couple of years . But due to finances and other factors it never happened and as the years have gone on it doesn't really feel that important to us. We would feel the same about each other whether we're married or not.
When we got engaged we knew we would get married eventually but had no plans to actually get married anytime soon. We had just left university so were paying back student loans, buying our first house and trying to start our careers. Our lives and financial situation did not allow us to plan the wedding we wanted. I know people will say you don't need to spend a lot to get married but I only planned on getting married once so wanted the whole fairytale. By the time we did eventually tie the knot we were financially secure and could afford what we wanted. My parents wanted to pay for it all but as they are well into retirement I didn't want them to pay for my dreams, especially as costs had gone up considerably since they paid for my two sisters weddings in the 80s. In the end we agreed that they could buy my dress, and they thought they paid for the reception but I had actually paid 80% of the costs prior to the weddding and the venue was very good at hiding this from my parents and made out that the remainder was the full amount. It felt really good knowing we had done it ourselves, exactly how we wanted and got to have the honeymoon of our dreams. I have no regrets, I love being married to Mr Punky, but our lives are no different to before. Another thing that made us decide to do it when we did, is we knew we wanted kids and I prefered the idea of being married before we did. So the wedding was 2 years ago now, we have been saving hard again, and now we plan on spending 2012 going on lavish holidays and trying for our first child.
We'd just moved into our first house about 2 months earlier so that one was thing ticked off to not worry about. I wanted the big wedding but changed things around slightly to make it cheaper. I got married on the Friday of May Bank Holiday weekend so everything day time guests had to take a day off work but got a long weekend so I didnt feel as bad!!
It was loads cheaper than a Saturday - people like the photographer and cars weren't doing anything else on a Friday so knocked off quite a lot.
The only thing I don't agree with is that things are no different - my life hasnt changed on the outside but I do actually feel different. I do still love the being a Mrs part. I've been married for 15 years as well!!