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Taking children to 'vigils' and memorials for the dead
tiacat
Posts: 22,521 Forum Member
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There is a story in the news at the moment about a child that has recently died.
We cant talk about that particular case as there is an ongoing investigation and someone has been charged.
But I notice that the pictures accompanying the news contain queues of families paying tribute to the child and leaving messages with toys and teddies, many left their by other children.
I may sound old fashioned but I find it inappropriate to take children to things like this and Im surprised at the vast number of kids that seem to be there. How do the families explain the death of that child to their children that they take along?
What does the child make of being taken to leave a teddy for a child they dont know?
We cant talk about that particular case as there is an ongoing investigation and someone has been charged.
But I notice that the pictures accompanying the news contain queues of families paying tribute to the child and leaving messages with toys and teddies, many left their by other children.
I may sound old fashioned but I find it inappropriate to take children to things like this and Im surprised at the vast number of kids that seem to be there. How do the families explain the death of that child to their children that they take along?
What does the child make of being taken to leave a teddy for a child they dont know?
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Comments
There's nothing wrong with a parent teaching their children about sympathy and compassion.
I'd tend to agree with this
just talking about death being sad is enough though, I wouldn't be talking about any surrounding circumstances
although I wouldn't be attending unless I had some sort of connection - to me that would be intrusive and ghoulish - almost trying to claim somebody elses grief as your own.
In addition, the child has not died naturally, its a frightening thing for children who are too young to know that something happened to the child and at whose hands that might have been.
They dont need to learn sympathy and compassion in this manner. Theres lots of much more child appropriate ways to learn that.
...or perhaps - as society changes - that's how community spirit manifests itself today?
It changed; it was a vigil for his safe return...then changed, sadly. Nothing overtly morbid about the first part though - it was an expression of hope that changed into an expression of grief. The important part was the participation in the expression.
Given the modern world - is three REALLY too young to start being educated about its perils? Looking at many recent events, it's too late...
Except there is every chance that they could know the child, from nursery or neighbours or from the park.
And in some cases the child will have asked their parent if they can go.
Well yes good point.
BIB I don't anyone said or implied that they had to learn sympathy and compassion in this manner and this manner only.
Not that I fully understand vigils, wouldn't attend one myself.
I'm a bit odd though and prefer my human contact via a screen of some sort.
More fool those who thought they were searching. They were taking up valuable police time and had to kept away from the real search. That's why they were walking in a line across acres of grassland along with their kids and dogs. Idiots thought they were on a day out. Makes a change from shopping I suppose.
There is a distinct divide in this Country and it's not money!
Blimey you have got a high opinion of your fellow man:o
You're trying just a little bit too hard to be offensive.
That's the question - where do we strike...or learn to strike...the fine balance between doing it and doing it too much?
Also...is it a product of the huge spike in "social networking" inasmuch as - do we "flash grieve" in the same way as we "flash mob" nowadays? Have we learned to share in peoples' grief and sorrow because it goes hand in hand with sharing in their joys and pleasures and happiness and all the other details in their lives?
They seem, especially in high profile cases, a place where everyone wants to say they've been, and put flowers/toys etc down.
It seems all that money could be better spent.
I see nothing wrong with taking children to vigils, especially the local ones
When i comes to the search for potential bodies though... i think that should be 18+
Well said.
Of course children grieve, I work with children and its extremely important to allow them to come to terms with loss, but this is not the same as the child's funeral, the vigil that I saw (unless I misunderstood) was at the aunt's house because thats where he was found, not local to him and his school so Im not sure they were local children, some of them might have been.
It feels very intrusive to me, bearing in mind the possible circumstances. A bit mawkish.
Do you think so? You are entitled to your opinion, though.
I see these kinds of things as a community's expression of grief and sorrow and, therefore, a natural reaction. It is also a fact that more people go to Church service memorials, too, when they do not usually go to church on a regular basis. I think that is a good thing also.
It all liklihood theyre going to stumble upon a dead child if they find anything, so not really wise to take your four year old for a walk with you!