My dad is alcoholic . When he is sober (for a short time of the day befre he starts drinking) he is a very nice intelligent man but is addicted to drink and has no intention of given up despite having all the support of his family over the years. What's worse is that he is either very aggressive or very melancholy when he is drunk. He tried to commit suicide this week but wasn't successful - he has tried several times. He is currently in hospital and my poor mum is at the end of her tether with it, has finally had enough and doesnt ever want him back in her home again. The fear we have is that he will turn up drunk at the house when he comes out of hospital and create all kinds of problems. He is a danger to himself and other people if he has had a drink. Not really sure what to do :(:(
Am I bad in wishing that he hadn't survived his last suicide attempt?
I don't think you are. Anyone who has had a close relationship with a volatile alcoholic will understand how you are feeling. Living with the constant fear of what is coming next is, at times, unbearable. The only thing you can do if he turns up drunk is call the police and have him removed. It's a difficult thing to do but you have to put yours and your mums safety first. Maybe if you could speak to him while he is sober and make it clear he is not welcome when he is drinking and what will happen if he does go to your house drunk.
I hope things get better for you.
This is just sad. I don't see the point of being judgemental. He's had this addiction a long long time now. I remember him appearing in the papers towards the end of his footballing career for bad behaviour. Which was probably caused by alcoholism. I wonder if he'll end up like George Best, or will end up dead from alcoholic poisoning?
I don't think you are. Anyone who has had a close relationship with a volatile alcoholic will understand how you are feeling. Living with the constant fear of what is coming next is, at times, unbearable. The only thing you can do if he turns up drunk is call the police and have him removed. It's a difficult thing to do but you have to put yours and your mums safety first. Maybe if you could speak to him while he is sober and make it clear he is not welcome when he is drinking and what will happen if he does go to your house drunk.
I hope things get better for you.
Thank you for your message. My mum is going to the hospital today to tell him exactly that. However when he is drunk all reason leaves him and he completely turns. I guess the only thing to do is as you say and call the police if he ever comes near the door.
You hit the nail on the head when you say there is a constant fear of what is coming next - that unpredicatibility. I really worry for my mum.
My dad is alcoholic . When he is sober (for a short time of the day befre he starts drinking) he is a very nice intelligent man but is addicted to drink and has no intention of given up despite having all the support of his family over the years. What's worse is that he is either very aggressive or very melancholy when he is drunk. He tried to commit suicide this week but wasn't successful - he has tried several times. He is currently in hospital and my poor mum is at the end of her tether with it, has finally had enough and doesnt ever want him back in her home again. The fear we have is that he will turn up drunk at the house when he comes out of hospital and create all kinds of problems. He is a danger to himself and other people if he has had a drink. Not really sure what to do :(:(
Am I bad in wishing that he hadn't survived his last suicide attempt?
Its normal and natural to feel like that, dont ever let guilt enter your head for one moment. When something like you are going through is finally over, the relief you will feel is like a boulder being lifted off your shoulders. Just grieve for what could have been, and then let it all go and move on and enjoy your freedom. The demons are your dad's not yours.
Its normal and natural to feel like that, dont ever let guilt enter your head for one moment. When something like you are going through is finally over, the relief you will feel is like a boulder being lifted off your shoulders. Just grieve for what could have been, and then let it all go and move on and enjoy your freedom. The demons are your dad's not yours.
Thank you for your comforting words. I was thinking to myself last night and trying to picture how I would feel the suicide attempt had been successful and 'relief' is definitely the first word that came into my head! I would definitely grieve for what could have been too but I think that would come afterwards.
It feels like I am in a horror film which doesn't seem to ever want to end :(:cry:
No, you are definitely not wrong for thinking that, imo. I think it must be a psychological nightmare for any relative or loved one to carry round knowing what they know and dealing with it on a daily basis.
The very best of luck to you and you are certainly not alone. X
It was probably the end of his footballing career that caused him to start drinking.
All he as to d is sort himself out, get himself I shape, start playing football again and he'd probably be a brilliant coach for some youth or local team.
My dad is alcoholic . When he is sober (for a short time of the day befre he starts drinking) he is a very nice intelligent man but is addicted to drink and has no intention of given up despite having all the support of his family over the years. What's worse is that he is either very aggressive or very melancholy when he is drunk. He tried to commit suicide this week but wasn't successful - he has tried several times. He is currently in hospital and my poor mum is at the end of her tether with it, has finally had enough and doesnt ever want him back in her home again. The fear we have is that he will turn up drunk at the house when he comes out of hospital and create all kinds of problems. He is a danger to himself and other people if he has had a drink. Not really sure what to do :(:(
Am I bad in wishing that he hadn't survived his last suicide attempt?
my uncle is an alcoholic..he's lost everything live in a dingy flat on his own. Sad really.
His mum and dad..my nan and grandad tried to help him through it when his wife left him after many years of abuse. In the end it got to much for my nan and grandad.
The guilt that my grandad went through was Unbelievable and to this day I still believe it ended his life slightly early.
There must be a few hundred people in his position, with no hope of any rehab treatment, expensive or otherwise. Unfortunately, one by one they'll be found dead in a gutter somewhere. Which is sad, but we can generally view them impersonally.
It was probably the end of his footballing career that caused him to start drinking.
All he as to d is sort himself out, get himself I shape, start playing football again and he'd probably be a brilliant coach for some youth or local team.
He was definitely drinking during his football career, and probably well before that as well.
Sadly ,it's going to take a massive amount of effort and will power on his part, and a lot of expert help to 'sort himself out'.
My own opinion is that he is beyond help, sadly. I thought that about Amy Winehouse and unfortunately I was right.
I don't understand why people don't feel compassion for him. He is a sick person who has tried to overcome his addiction and failed. I'm sure he's well aware he's killing himself, and the pain he's causing to the people who love him.
Alcohol makes you think that people think you are great. That is essentially, the nature of addiction. In my opinion Gazza wasn't as great a footballer as everyone thought he was. True he had some moments of great skill, but even in those, his style was clumsy and laboured. If he could see that, and if everyone could stop with the sympathy, then he might get his shit together. Harsh but true.
He was definitely drinking during his football career, and probably well before that as well.
Sadly ,it's going to take a massive amount of effort and will power on his part, and a lot of expert help to 'sort himself out'.
My own opinion is that he is beyond help, sadly. I thought that about Amy Winehouse and unfortunately I was right.
I don't understand why people don't feel compassion for him. He is a sick person who has tried to overcome his addiction and failed. I'm sure he's well aware he's killing himself, and the pain he's causing to the people who love him.
I just assumed that it was caused by him reaching the hight of his fame and career that was a possible cause of it.
A bit OT but if Remi Moses or other ex-professional big name footballers can happily admit their professional careers're over and let go of the celebrity status, why can't David Beckham or is he suffering from an extreme addiction publicity and attention?
I just assumed that it was caused by him reaching the hight of his fame and career that was a possible cause of it.
A bit OT but if Remi Moses or other ex-professional big name footballers can happily admit their professional careers're over and let go of the celebrity status, why can't David Beckham or is he suffering from an extreme addiction publicity and attention?
Beckham has OCD which I think is part of the reason he can't let go, that and Brand Beckham and his want for a Knighthood, he stopped being a footballer and became a celebrity even before he finished his football career.
To be quite honest I think that help should go to other people who will actually benefit from it. Someone who is in the state Gazza is now won't get anything out of being helped.
He's had more chances at recovery than I've had hot dinners. It's not going to happen for him.
Am I bad in wishing that he hadn't survived his last suicide attempt?
But it's perfectly understandable. The drunk in my family went through practically every single family member (several times) looking for help support and shelter wearing out his welcome in each place. Even then he was still a burden.
No, you are definitely not wrong for thinking that, imo. I think it must be a psychological nightmare for any relative or loved one to carry round knowing what they know and dealing with it on a daily basis.
The very best of luck to you and you are certainly not alone. X
But it's perfectly understandable. The drunk in my family went through practically every single family member (several times) looking for help support and shelter wearing out his welcome in each place. Even then he was still a burden.
If he was willing to seek help to stop drinking then everyone would support him fully but we have been through this so many times now. BTW sorry OP for hijacking your thread. Just reading about PG made me think about my dad's circumstances.
If PG walks into your shop and you sell him booze, then you are unconscionable. I'm guessing he doesn't acquire it by magic.
He is his own person. Its not up to the public to police him.
I would not buy him a drink in the pub, but if he walked into my shop for a bottle of booze, then I would sell it to him.
If PG walks into your shop and you sell him booze, then you are unconscionable. I'm guessing he doesn't acquire it by magic.
If no one sold him it then he would steal it.
Or he could just walk into any supermarket and pay for it at a self service till.
In any case, many shopkeepers/workers won't know who he is or be aware he is an alcoholic. People die of alcohol related illnesses every single day and they buy their alcohol in the usual ways.
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I don't think you are. Anyone who has had a close relationship with a volatile alcoholic will understand how you are feeling. Living with the constant fear of what is coming next is, at times, unbearable. The only thing you can do if he turns up drunk is call the police and have him removed. It's a difficult thing to do but you have to put yours and your mums safety first. Maybe if you could speak to him while he is sober and make it clear he is not welcome when he is drinking and what will happen if he does go to your house drunk.
I hope things get better for you.
Thank you for your message. My mum is going to the hospital today to tell him exactly that. However when he is drunk all reason leaves him and he completely turns. I guess the only thing to do is as you say and call the police if he ever comes near the door.
You hit the nail on the head when you say there is a constant fear of what is coming next - that unpredicatibility. I really worry for my mum.
Its normal and natural to feel like that, dont ever let guilt enter your head for one moment. When something like you are going through is finally over, the relief you will feel is like a boulder being lifted off your shoulders. Just grieve for what could have been, and then let it all go and move on and enjoy your freedom. The demons are your dad's not yours.
Thank you for your comforting words. I was thinking to myself last night and trying to picture how I would feel the suicide attempt had been successful and 'relief' is definitely the first word that came into my head! I would definitely grieve for what could have been too but I think that would come afterwards.
It feels like I am in a horror film which doesn't seem to ever want to end
The very best of luck to you and you are certainly not alone. X
All he as to d is sort himself out, get himself I shape, start playing football again and he'd probably be a brilliant coach for some youth or local team.
my uncle is an alcoholic..he's lost everything live in a dingy flat on his own. Sad really.
His mum and dad..my nan and grandad tried to help him through it when his wife left him after many years of abuse. In the end it got to much for my nan and grandad.
The guilt that my grandad went through was Unbelievable and to this day I still believe it ended his life slightly early.
A lot more than that I should imagine.
He was definitely drinking during his football career, and probably well before that as well.
Sadly ,it's going to take a massive amount of effort and will power on his part, and a lot of expert help to 'sort himself out'.
My own opinion is that he is beyond help, sadly. I thought that about Amy Winehouse and unfortunately I was right.
I don't understand why people don't feel compassion for him. He is a sick person who has tried to overcome his addiction and failed. I'm sure he's well aware he's killing himself, and the pain he's causing to the people who love him.
I just assumed that it was caused by him reaching the hight of his fame and career that was a possible cause of it.
A bit OT but if Remi Moses or other ex-professional big name footballers can happily admit their professional careers're over and let go of the celebrity status, why can't David Beckham or is he suffering from an extreme addiction publicity and attention?
Beckham has OCD which I think is part of the reason he can't let go, that and Brand Beckham and his want for a Knighthood, he stopped being a footballer and became a celebrity even before he finished his football career.
He's already had 10 times more than most alcoholics. As some point you have to give up on them.
I fear it's too late for that. Sadly, judging by those pics he doesn't have long in this world.
To be quite honest I think that help should go to other people who will actually benefit from it. Someone who is in the state Gazza is now won't get anything out of being helped.
He's had more chances at recovery than I've had hot dinners. It's not going to happen for him.
His pension will provide enough to drink anyone to death.
What a nice thing to say thank you xx
If he was willing to seek help to stop drinking then everyone would support him fully but we have been through this so many times now. BTW sorry OP for hijacking your thread. Just reading about PG made me think about my dad's circumstances.
He is his own person. Its not up to the public to police him.
I would not buy him a drink in the pub, but if he walked into my shop for a bottle of booze, then I would sell it to him.
I dont have a shop BTW
If no one sold him it then he would steal it.
Or he could just walk into any supermarket and pay for it at a self service till.
In any case, many shopkeepers/workers won't know who he is or be aware he is an alcoholic. People die of alcohol related illnesses every single day and they buy their alcohol in the usual ways.