advice please: girl friend wants to sleep with her ex
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ive been living as couple with my girl friend for around 6 months. all was well until she told me she had slept with her ex on two occasions. were still together and she has said its me she wants "full time"... she still keeps in regular contact with her ex via fb messaging, what is peoples advice?
thanks
worried
thanks
worried
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Comments
If she's sleeping with her ex then she's not over him.
You deserve someone who is only invested in you and deserve better than this cruel mistreatment.
Don't put up with this mistreatment. I would be looking her to move out or moving out myself but as she cheated twice I'd want her out.
That said, I'd have ditched her after the first mistake of doing it; once a cheater, always a cheater. I suppose you can live and forgive a first time, but a second? No excuses. Sorry man.
She wants to visit him again because she knows you will put up with her treating you like dirt.
This will destroy your self esteem if you let her do this.
I know it's hard especially if you love someone but she's not treating you in a respectful manner at all.
You can and will do better and deserve better.
I suggested moving her out-only if she has somewhere to go, not out on the streets obviously.
I don't think it's a case of that anymore though; she's cheated on you, twice. It shouldn't be a case of "should I let her ex come and stay" it should be you asking yourself whether you really want to stay with this person.
You should look at getting a new place.
You deserve a woman interested in you and you alone.
If she goes to visit him, you know what's going to happen. Regardless of that, it still doesn't change the fact that she's already cheated on you, with him, twice. You think she's going to care about doing it a third, fourth, fifth (etc) time? If you put up with it now, she'll no doubt use that to her full advantage.
Ditch her?
Edit: if you care for her enough, then you should sit her down, and explain to her that you don't like the idea of her going to visit this friend because of her previous encounters with him. Maybe suggest that you go visiting with her? If sex (with her ex) is no big deal, then she's unlikely to make that big a deal of it, but if that's what she's got on her mind, then she obviously isn't going to want you there. If it comes down to her going alone, then I fear it'll be time for an ultimatum; him or you.
Or accept that she is going to do this as long as you let her
The OP's girlfriend is sleeping with her ex.
You should either have a discussion with your girlfriend about this or leave her and find someone better.
Best of Luck
As for her expecting your trust.
Trust has to be earned. She's done nothing to earn it.
I know how hard it is when you love someone but this sounds like a toxic relationship and she's treating you badly.
Learn to love yourself, and kick the bride down the aisle.
Why are we even having this conversation still? You can obviously read what we're all saying cause you're replying to us, though our words/advice doesn't seem to compute.
She will not be faithful to you. You've got two choices. Either suck it up, and know that you'll be in an open relationship (of sorts) and that she'll play away occasionally, or stop it from happening (either by telling her no, or by finishing it with her). There's no more advice you're going to be able to get from anyone else here, I wouldn't have thought.
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You can keep it amicable though in the process.
Sorry.
Thanks for the details. I've saved them because they'll probably come in handy some day.
To the OP:
You don't need no scrub who don't treat ya right, ya feel me? Nuh-uh. (To be read in an African-American woman's voice. For the full experience, imagining pouted lips and exaggerated gestures, including finger clicking, is also recommended).
I thing P2O is being flippant.
You don't see the irony in my post or the reason for my closing question??
The OP asks for advice on a situation that is clearly unacceptable however way you look at it. What advice do they need? Do they really need 'helpful' replies telling them that its wrong. Its stating the obvious.
OP if you just want to come on here and rant then that's ok, but asking for advice on this is a bit daft.