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Is there an age we reach when we should just "give up"?
PrincessEssex
Posts: 1,414 Forum Member
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So at the ripe old age of 26, single and still living with Mummy and being at the time of year we all reflect (oh jolly good!) I have to ask - Does there come a point in life when we should give up on:
Looking for perfect partner/soul mate?
Perfect Career?
Happiness in general?
Talking to a pensioner last night it was expressed to me that at 26 I actually do not have a lot going for me being that I am recently single, not on the property ladder, no savings and I have a job not a career.
Got me thinking should I give up now? Should I maybe start now? Is there an age when we should just stop and go through the motions? Or is that what we do anyway our whole lives no matter if we have everything we strive for?
Sorry for the depressive subject at this oh so joyous time of year!!
Looking for perfect partner/soul mate?
Perfect Career?
Happiness in general?
Talking to a pensioner last night it was expressed to me that at 26 I actually do not have a lot going for me being that I am recently single, not on the property ladder, no savings and I have a job not a career.
Got me thinking should I give up now? Should I maybe start now? Is there an age when we should just stop and go through the motions? Or is that what we do anyway our whole lives no matter if we have everything we strive for?
Sorry for the depressive subject at this oh so joyous time of year!!
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The property ladder, let me tell you is not as great as it sounds. I bought mine and I am broke, have no social life and cringe at the cost of the most basic bills.
Tell the pensioner to sod off. Do not let people like that bring you down, ignore them.
That is common place in the UK these days.
House buying again is a fairly modern idea for most people and I have a funny feeling it will never be quite as easy as the last few years ever again. Renting gives you a lot more freedom and money to play with anyway.
All in all I am sure a lot of people would envy you !
Happiness in general - never ever should you give up on happiness. In fact, my mantra and what keeps me sane through any shit, is keep the faith in happiness. What ever happens you know that it will all work out, as there is no option 2.
You will find a partner one day but stressing about it will not make it happen, living your life day by day, finding the love and laughter where ever you can, will keep you smiling and help you find happiness.
Shake off this maudlin thought process by changing your focus. Look around you and be thankful for the good things in your life right now. Appreciate them as it helps change your negative focus into a positive one.
Nuff said!!!
26 OP? You havent even started!! You are having a usual quarter life crisis, I had one too.
I'm 33 with a house that's nearly mortgage free and a decent career. I would rapidly lose interest in someone that has turned 30 and was still living with Mummy while working in McJob.
So I'd say you've got 4 years to go before giving up OP
I sounds to me that what you are feeling is a common thing amongst those of us that have felt disatisfied at sometime with our life.
I call it the 'pressure of time' Knowing that another year has passed and have we really achieved what we know or feel we are capable of. By achieving im not talking monetarily necessarily. More the achieving of good relationships and just feeling happy and at peace with ourselves
Im 37 now and i felt it a while ago. Still do in waves though i have a lot to be thankful for, number one being that i have an amazing son, although i am divorced and dont see him as much as if like, but thats for another topic.
Its the feeling that we have only so much time left in life and no one knows how much time we have left, that isnt being negative it is being a realist.
So in thinking about our life we feel a certain internal pressure to achieve something or find some happiness in our lifes and if we dont have that peace of mind or feel happy with who we are and what we have got then we will have waves of what you are feeling until we find some peace.
I have often thought careerwise there must come a point when its almost too late to turn things around if for example you were a bright person but didnt have the desire to jump through the hoops of uni/degrees that society requires for certain positions and you had reached a certain age. But im not sure about that
Be positive, and even if i cant be sometimes, i can pass on the message of 'be positive'
Bring to the table.....in a future relationship? WTF kind of relationships have you had? Is there a negotiation table at the start of relationships?
Yes of course there is. It's called talking about what you enjoy and the sorts of things you want in life.
I was just about to say the same !
We fall in love at the oddest times sometimes with the strangest people just relax enjoy life and it could happen.
I've never understood why some 'look' for partners. If you meet a partner, you meet a partner.
For me it's a question of maturity. We are generally attracted to people at the same stage of life as us.
At school I was attracted to teenagers. Now, the prospect of a relationship with a teenager is ridiculous because they are so immature and are not at the same stage of life as me.
Someone that hasn't managed to become independent and is still living with Mummy, and is not even showing signs of doing so by being at the start of a career, has as much appeal as a teenager. It's not necessarily the physical age that is the problem it's the level of maturity.
If I were not happily married I would be looking for an equal, not a child that would be dependent on me and I would have to look after.
The discussion is simply based on the reasons given by the pensioner as to why the OP does "not have a lot going for" her. Nothing more.
There could be all sorts of reasons that we don't know about as to why the pensioner is wrong. Maybe the OP has had a recent lottery win and didn't mention it.
We can only discuss the information provided.
or nothing to tie you down.:cool::cool::cool::cool:
That's all very well when you're young, but as you get older it looks rather silly to be still using the "nothing to tie me down" reason as to why you've not got a pot to piss in.
Especially if you've lived in the same place for the last 10 years with your Mummy and haven't made use of your not-tied-down lifestyle.
I think they're just making assumption, after assumption, after assumption basically.
Sometimes life doesn't go to plan I know lots of people settled young and many older people who might get divorced later on.
Mind you giving up may not be a bad idea as they say you find someone when you are not looking.
As for career most people are glad of a job these days, degrees no longer guarantees instant jobs. You can always try some studying like evening classes to boost your skills for a CV or you can find a "job" and work your way to management so it's a bit of a career step. Some people find what they want to do at a later stage in life. Personally I think people are lucky to grow up and decide instantly what they wish to do. But not everybody is like that.
Perhaps focus on the positives at the moment enjoy being 26 before your 30. Also bear in mind a mortgages are not cheap anyway so in this climate you are lucky you don't have a mountain of debt and living with no tv or sofa as your that skint.