People could always just say "hiya/hello" instead of saying "I'm fine".
Except that doesn't fit with answering the question 'how are you?'
The first part of the response 'I'm fine' is cutting out further probing towards you.
The next part 'Thanks' diffuses any potential of the other person being aggravated at being cut out of their attempt to connect with you.
The last part 'How are you?' is quickly deflecting the probe back to the other person.
The same question from someone you trust, would result in an honest response, as there is potential for getting support with your present problems - even if it's just an emotional release.
My standard reply is " fine thanks. You??" Last weekend I was with someone though and this person knows iv been having a very rough time of things but yet shes not really a friend in that she can support me. She comes out with "how's things?" My response was "not good" and then I cried! its not what I was expecting to come out of my mouth...
I sometimes work on the checkout and you have ask every one if they are OK everyone, and this American guy replied "Why do you always ask that", then I said "because its polite" then he started having a rant about that and shopping bags in Germany oh and the lack of curry in the UK. I really wished I had stayed silent cos I didn't know what to say to him. When he left the lady behind him and next in the queue looked at me and started laughing her head off.
My standard reply is " fine thanks. You??" Last weekend I was with someone though and this person knows iv been having a very rough time of things but yet shes not really a friend in that she can support me. She comes out with "how's things?" My response was "not good" and then I cried! its not what I was expecting to come out of my mouth...
I got a cold call on the phone, and the guy asked how I was....!...My life ain't great, and I really couldn't be bothered to lie to a cold caller...so I just put the phone down.
.......that is my standard reply when an acquaintance asks how I am. I did this today whilst thinking 'No, I'm not fine. My husband has a chronic illness, my children might have the same illness, I sprained my foot badly 3 weeks ago and am still limping, I am scunnered with work politics just now, my son was in hospital all weekend, I'm totally unorganised for Christmas, I want to lose weight and I lost my house key today!!!!'.
Instead, I smiled and said I was fine. Why do we do this?
Sorry to hear this, but what you've just done is a huge step
Too many people don't own up to whats really going on, but you just did and that is such a brave step xx
I got a cold call on the phone, and the guy asked how I was....!
I absolutely hate that. They don't even say why they're calling at first, they just launch straight into "How are you doing today?" Just tell them there's been a death in the family and see how they deal with it.
Comments
Except that doesn't fit with answering the question 'how are you?'
The first part of the response 'I'm fine' is cutting out further probing towards you.
The next part 'Thanks' diffuses any potential of the other person being aggravated at being cut out of their attempt to connect with you.
The last part 'How are you?' is quickly deflecting the probe back to the other person.
The same question from someone you trust, would result in an honest response, as there is potential for getting support with your present problems - even if it's just an emotional release.
So you got emotional release.
Sorry to hear this, but what you've just done is a huge step
Too many people don't own up to whats really going on, but you just did and that is such a brave step xx
I absolutely hate that. They don't even say why they're calling at first, they just launch straight into "How are you doing today?" Just tell them there's been a death in the family and see how they deal with it.
I'm a bore.
You don't want to know? Don't ask me.
Look defensive and say "Why? What have you heard?"