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Kids Having Unrestricted Acces to Internet....?
deans6571
Posts: 6,137 Forum Member
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My family went over to a friends house on Saturday night, who have a son, the same age as my oldest (11). We went round there early afternoon for some food and a couple of drinks and so the kids could play together (they also have a younger daughter who plays with my younger son - both aged 7).
We have been round there loads of times before and they are good friends of ours and the kids get on really well. There is one area, however, which I have always found quite uncomfortable and I really do not approve of -they allow their son, unrestricted access to the internet (he goes on any website he chooses and also watches unrestricted YouTube and also has his own YouTube channel).
That doesn't bother me as it is up to them how they bring up their kids, however, what does bother me is when my son, and him obviously, sit on the pc (like they were doing all afternoon) and watch YouTube vids of stuff that is obviously not suitable for them.
I went in at one point and they were watching videos of traps from the film 'Saw'....:o:o
Other times when I tried to go into the room to see what they were watching, they would quickly switch the webpage to something else as soon as an adult entered the room - which made it pretty obvious that they were watching something not suitable.
It was a tricky situation as it obviously wasn't my house so I didn't feel it was my place to tell them off (but I gave my son a talking too anyway!) but it seems the other boy can pretty much do what he wants on the internet. His parents even let him play 18 rated games on his Playstation - games like Black Ops and GTA games.:o Their son also has his own iPad (no issues with that but no doubt, he can probably watch whatever he likes on that as well - my son has an iPod but I have set certain restrictions on it appropriate to his age so he can't access the web, YouTube or Apps that are rated over his age).
The parents, later on, got talking about creating a 'childs den' in a shed they had in their garden, however, the mum then said that the son was too scared to go even upstairs on his own, let alone play in a shed outside on his own. I felt like saying that it was probably down to him playing all of these inappropriate games and watching stuff on the web, which led him to being like this but of course, I didn't! I was there to start an argument and again, it was their house so I wasn't about to start telling them how to bring up their children...!!
Just wondered how I should handle this situation as it is bound to happen again the next time we are round there?!
We have been round there loads of times before and they are good friends of ours and the kids get on really well. There is one area, however, which I have always found quite uncomfortable and I really do not approve of -they allow their son, unrestricted access to the internet (he goes on any website he chooses and also watches unrestricted YouTube and also has his own YouTube channel).
That doesn't bother me as it is up to them how they bring up their kids, however, what does bother me is when my son, and him obviously, sit on the pc (like they were doing all afternoon) and watch YouTube vids of stuff that is obviously not suitable for them.
I went in at one point and they were watching videos of traps from the film 'Saw'....:o:o
Other times when I tried to go into the room to see what they were watching, they would quickly switch the webpage to something else as soon as an adult entered the room - which made it pretty obvious that they were watching something not suitable.
It was a tricky situation as it obviously wasn't my house so I didn't feel it was my place to tell them off (but I gave my son a talking too anyway!) but it seems the other boy can pretty much do what he wants on the internet. His parents even let him play 18 rated games on his Playstation - games like Black Ops and GTA games.:o Their son also has his own iPad (no issues with that but no doubt, he can probably watch whatever he likes on that as well - my son has an iPod but I have set certain restrictions on it appropriate to his age so he can't access the web, YouTube or Apps that are rated over his age).
The parents, later on, got talking about creating a 'childs den' in a shed they had in their garden, however, the mum then said that the son was too scared to go even upstairs on his own, let alone play in a shed outside on his own. I felt like saying that it was probably down to him playing all of these inappropriate games and watching stuff on the web, which led him to being like this but of course, I didn't! I was there to start an argument and again, it was their house so I wasn't about to start telling them how to bring up their children...!!
Just wondered how I should handle this situation as it is bound to happen again the next time we are round there?!
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As for unrestricted access if they want to watch there is no way to stop them even the best blocks can be very easily bypassed by anyone who wants to who has even the most limited knowledge of the internet.
It isn't just about blocks, it's about actually talking to kids (no matter how uncomfortable you feel!). You can hide everything from them but you can try to be a bit smart about it.
I can agree with that but I think the ones who put the blocks on and then think that is enough to leave their kids alone to use the internet are even more irresponsible I think it's much safer to have no blocks at all but watch what they are doing.
As I said if kids want to view stuff (rather than find it accidentally) they will and the blocks are rubbish and not worth bothering with as the bypasses are just to easy.
My 8 year old is a horror movie nut, he absolutely loves them.
But this isn't about that. The issue here is that the OP is not in a position to block or monitor what his son is viewing, because he's not viewing it in his own house. The OP could be the most internet savvy parent in the world when it comes to his own house and his own children, but that counts for nothing when you have concerns about what other parents allow in their own homes and for their own children. This, IIUC, is the crux of his issue.
If you do go to theirs, then short of banning your son from going near the computer or supervising the whole time he uses the computer, there doesn't seem to be much you can do.
I'd think the best approach is to foster and inclusive atmosphere whereby they feel comfortable chatting to their parents about what they've seen, rather than making it a secret they feel uncomfortable addressing in your presence.
....yea - to be honest - I guess there is indeed, not much I can do - unless I keep him away from his friend - and thats never going to happen...!! Perhaps I am over restricting stuff at home for him (he's diagnosed with very mild ASD - Autistic Spectrum Disorder - hence why I feel the need to block inappropriate content at home!) - its a tough one.....!
We're not round there all the time - its only now and again so I guess its not gonna be an issue which is gonna be happening every week.
...yea - they do indeed come to ours, and the kids are fine as I don't let them go on my pc to play stuff! Its only an issue when we go round there.
If it's only now and then that you go round there then I'd say just let it go.
....yea - looks like thats what I'm gonna have to do!
My 7yr old has unrestricted access to the internet, but all he does on it is watch youtube videos of people playing Minecraft and Skyrim. If he started to watch inappropriate stuff, then I would lock it down, for the moment I trust him, he understands what is acceptable and what is not
Your son will grow up to have vague but great childhood memories of being taken to a friend's house where they would watch and play this stuff. A bit like mine of my older cousin who had a copy of Zombie Flesh Eaters that we would always put on.
My childhood friends parents used to own a video shop. The things i saw.
I chose my childhood friends carefully.
If he's a geek he will know how to hide computer things from you.
heh true but you can't even say knickers in front of him so it's unlikely he has any interest in porn. I'll give him another year or two. Some 12yr olds are still little kids with zero interest in that sort of thing.
I agree with you on that one. I recalled my youth and at 12 years old i wasn't that interested in porn so I changed my post but you were too quick for me.
It doesn't matter where you are, your son and your rules.
Yeah my advice to parents is always to make sure there's an 'open house' - you don't have kids in their bedrooms with laptops and tablets, the door shut and 24hr internet access. That's just asking for trouble.
The horror film stuff people are talking about isn't really a problem, I have bigger concerns over sexual content they don't have the emotional maturity to handle. I've had to deal with kids of age 11 who have sexually assaulted their peers and show highly sexualised behaviour for their age. All of them had unrestricted internet access and had been looking at porn. It's not about being prudish at all, it's about the fact that kids seeing stuff before their mature enough to deal with it can really screw them up.