Does a partner's sexual past / relationships bother you?

[Deleted User] · 10/02/11 - 15:53

Just been having this conversation at work and it got me thinking as it seems REALLY common (either that or I work with a very insecure bunch!)

Does your partner's sexual past / ex partners bother you? Admittedly its not a nice thought to know the one you love has experienced such things with another but surely unless you are very young or meet a virgin it's very unlikely there won't be someone who has 'gone before'.

I have my insecure moments but I know people who are constantly facebooking their partners ex, asking for gory details etc. Why do people do that?!

alfiewozere · 10/02/11 - 15:55

I'm not the least bit interested in what my husband did and to whom before we got together.
And I must admit, I would be very wary - if I was single now - of hooking up with a virgin.

Đirona · 10/02/11 - 15:57

yes

i'm as jealous as anything!

if he's had lots of experience he clearly can't be trusted.:mad:

kookiethekat · 10/02/11 - 15:57

I'm not bothered about my husbands sexual past, but he gets very jealous of mine.

When we met, I was living/house sharing with my ex boyfriend (we stayed friends after we split up). My hubby hated it and I moved out and in with him not long after we got together.

I have a "colourful" sexual past, I have had more sexual partners than him and have been with men and women so he has it doubly as bad

We are fine though, but he doesn't like me talking about my ex boyfriends and girlfriends. If I am talking about something in my past with friends that involves other sexual partners, he tends to leave the room.

EDIT: Not sexual things, I don't talk about sexual things in front of him, just generally (sorry, people were getting the wrong end of the stick

)

Special K_ · 10/02/11 - 15:57

It would only bother me if they were of a certain age and hadn't had any sexual experience or relationship past. I like people who have been around the block a bit like myself.

gav016 · 10/02/11 - 15:58

To be honest, it really doesn't bother me either way. I've lived my own life and made mistakes and had good times, and I expect he would have to. If anything, I'd rather he'd already gone through the phase of shagging anything that moves and got it out of his system. But it's his decision on what to disclose, if he didn't want to mention anything, it wouldn't kill me.

-Sid- · 10/02/11 - 15:58

I wouldn't really be bothered about their sex life - number of partners, if they had any kinks etc.

But I would be bothered about how they behaved in their relationship (did they cheat, for example, and if so why?) - but I'd hope I'd be able to find those things out from the person I was involved with, that they'd be honest with me, but I wouldn't dream of chasing up their exes for such information. I have too much dignity for that!

Special K_ · 10/02/11 - 15:59

Đirona wrote: »

yes

i'm as jealous as anything!

if he's had lots of experience he clearly can't be trusted.:mad:

This is a wind-up right ?

[Deleted User] · 10/02/11 - 16:00

It's weird, it did for a while, and then it didn't.

Picto · 10/02/11 - 16:00

What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas.

Anyway, some of the things I got up to before we met would make me very hypocritical if i questioned my wife's past.

[Deleted User] · 10/02/11 - 16:00

Surely once you reach say 30+ for example, the chances of meeting someone who hasn't anything substantial by way of a relationship is rare and, at the risk of sounding rude, a little odd?! That was my argument today but it seems people hate the thought of their partner having a past.

Đirona · 10/02/11 - 16:00

Special K_ wrote: »

This is a wind-up right ?

why would it be?

i care about myself and who i sleep with. i'd prefer the feeling to be mutual.

-Sid- · 10/02/11 - 16:06

kookiethekat wrote: »

:eek:

I don't mean talking about sexual things!!!!! I mean talking about something I did at college and an ex partner was there/involved

Why should I not be allowed to talk about my life before him?? why is that crass?

I wouldn't say it was crass, but slightly insensitive perhaps?

Wouldn't it be better to ensure your partner wasn't in the room to begin with before bringing up an ex as you know he doesn't like it?

Đirona · 10/02/11 - 16:07

kookiethekat wrote: »

NOOOOOOOOOO

You got the wrong end of the stick, I would never talk about stuff like that with my husband

I just mean talking about my past. As an example, when I was at college we did a Duke of Edinburgh and I was talking about it with an old college friend and an ex boyfriends name came up and my hubby walked out.

sounds like he's unsure about you

Stiffy78 · 10/02/11 - 16:08

Đirona wrote: »

if he's had lots of experience he clearly can't be trusted.:mad:

How does that logic work?

kookiethekat · 10/02/11 - 16:08

Đirona wrote: »

sounds like he's unsure about you

Lol, we have been togeter for 15 years and I have never cheated or given him any reason to think I have or would.

We don't have trust issues, believe me

Teddybleads · 10/02/11 - 16:08

Interestingly enough, a friend of Mrs.Bleads recently found an old video of her husband, in the act as it were, with a man.

It was before they met and she's undecided as to weather to broach the subject or not.

Bonny1 · 10/02/11 - 16:09

No, it doesn't bother me, but we've been together so long, there's rarely any conversations with friends, that wouldn't involve him as being my boyfriend or hubby.. at that particular time... lol lol lol

Henderson · 10/02/11 - 16:09

I'm a virgin...

kookiethekat · 10/02/11 - 16:09

-Sid- wrote: »

I wouldn't say it was crass, but slightly insensitive perhaps?

Wouldn't it be better to ensure your partner wasn't in the room to begin with before bringing up an ex as you know he doesn't like it?

Thats ridiculous, I am allowed to talk about my life before him.

This is getting silly now, I wish I hadn't replied

Đirona · 10/02/11 - 16:10

Stiffy78 wrote: »

How does that logic work?

sex is just a game for them

kookiethekat wrote: »

Lol, we have been togeter for 15 years and I have never cheated or given him any reason to think I have or would.

We don't have trust issues, believe me

why do you think he leaves the room ?

Special K_ · 10/02/11 - 16:10

Đirona wrote: »

why would it be?

i care about myself and who i sleep with. i'd prefer the feeling to be mutual.

Because of this statement you made;

'if he's had lots of experience he clearly can't be trusted.'

I don't follow your logic, maybe you can expand on that?

Bonny1 · 10/02/11 - 16:11

Đirona wrote: »

yes

i'm as jealous as anything!

if he's had lots of experience he clearly can't be trusted.:mad:

Jealousy is an awful emotion... I hope you find comfort, in your life partner..and it passes

kookiethekat · 10/02/11 - 16:11

Đirona wrote: »

sex is just a game for them

why do you think he leaves the room ?

You think he leaves the room because he thinks I am cheating on him

Everyone is entitled to their opinion

EDIT: Ah I have seen your post's now, you're projecting your feelings of jealously onto me and my husband.

Barking up the wrong tree there love

gav016 · 10/02/11 - 16:12

Special K_ wrote: »

Because of this statement you made;

'if he's had lots of experience he clearly can't be trusted.'

I don't follow your logic, maybe you can expand on that?

I agree, that logic makes zero sense to me.

If a person has had lots of sex or sexual partners, it means they enjoy sex. Nothing else. Trust doesn't come into it.

*weeschmoo* · 10/02/11 - 16:12

I think I would probably be bothered:o ....but I don't have anything to bother about. he's awful much how he is because of how he was before so he wouldn't be the same now if he was different then.

He's mine all mine:D

Hey there!

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