"The only realistic place he could have learnt this kind of stuff is his play school, we had a chat and they said there was a kid who has "special needs" who he "might" have picked this stuff up from and they would keep an eye on it. We assume some kids been seeing his dad play call of duty style stuff as that's roughly what out kids been reenacting"
Notice the word might. Not it was the special needs kid.
In my experience you would never 'imply' that a child could be responsible and certainly not if the nursery did not acknowledge that it had these certain toys to hand.
It is so easy to label a child at such a young age and for it to follow them to School, I've seen this happen. Parents talk to other parents and just one hint of 'Oh it could be Johnny's fault' can lead to some parents blaming that child for any incidents that occur. I'm glad that Fizix was able to find out the truth no matter what our opinions are regarding certain toys.
I'm surprised that a nursery has those kind of toys. I worked with kids back in the 80s and even then we didn't have toys and guns for the kids to play with. I'm with you fizix, I'd be right narked and finding a better nursery.
In my experience you would never 'imply' that a child could be responsible and certainly not if the nursery did not acknowledge that it had these certain toys to hand.
It is so easy to label a child at such a young age and for it to follow them to School, I've seen this happen. Parents talk to other parents and just one hint of 'Oh it could be Johnny's fault' can lead to some parents blaming that child for any incidents that occur. I'm glad that Fizix was able to find out the truth no matter what our opinions are regarding certain toys.
Did they find the truth though, okay the play school may have had the toys, still doesn't explain how the kids know about killing & cutting though, that is the truth that needs answering.
Of course they could have learned that from home, by seeing the news, or maybe cartoons, so the play school may have the toys, but I doubt it is teaching them killing, that will be from other sources.
Children have a lot of aggression, and also fear. They learn to cope with these importantly through play.
Boys also tend to 'translate' and 'transcend' these through 'play' violence which also usually included adventure, excitement, and imagination. Thus children have played War, Pirates, Cowboys and Indians, I suppose it's other things now.
The most famous children's stories and films also have a dark and violent and uncomfortable feel on occasion. It's been thought that these too, help a child to come to terms with some of the difficulties of life in a safe way.
Preventing them feel horror at the Witch in Hansel and Gretel, or Bambi's mother getting shot, it is argued, thus won't help them at all.
Did they find the truth though, okay the play school may have had the toys, still doesn't explain how the kids know about killing & cutting though, that is the truth that needs answering.
Of course they could have learned that from home, by seeing the news, or maybe cartoons, so the play school may have the toys, but I doubt it is teaching them killing, that will be from other sources.
Yes they have found out the truth, the truth of the matter is that the nursery did not acknowledge that the behaviour was taking place there but yet had the 'tools' for it to be encouraged. I'm also surprised that this behaviour complained about was not noticed by the nursery staff who should be on a ratio of 1-8 children.
Of course they would not be teaching them about killing, well not normally, but I'd hate to think that they were turning a blind eye to it as seems to be the case here. If we were experiencing that, which we would notice on a far lesser staffing ratio, then we would be approaching parents to discover why.
We're not daft, we know children are exposed to news items and films that show fighting, I mentioned Star Wars earlier in the thread. You would know what was appropriate and what was not but to not be honest with parents is disgraceful!
Children have a lot of aggression, and also fear. They learn to cope with these importantly through play.
Boys also tend to 'translate' and 'transcend' these through 'play' violence which also usually included adventure, excitement, and imagination. Thus children have played War, Pirates, Cowboys and Indians, I suppose it's other things now.
The most famous children's stories and films also have a dark and violent and uncomfortable feel on occasion. It's been thought that these too, help a child to come to terms with some of the difficulties of life in a safe way.
Preventing them feel horror at the Witch in Hansel and Gretel, or Bambi's mother getting shot, it is argued, thus won't help them at all.
Exactly, we would be noting how they played it out.
Thanks for the replies. I'm on my phone so no multi quoting as its a pain, but I'll respond to bits as best I can.
Firstly, with finding the truth; I consider we have. The play school lied and mislead us; and in the process placed the blame on the most vulnerable kid in the group. I find it impossible to believe they would be unable to connect what we were describing with the toys and hence play that they were allowing.
With where they got the war connections from; it takes one kid who is aware to spread it wholesale if that kind of play is facilitated tbh. If a kid has seen his parents play war games or watched war films, then hand them a toy gun, having seen that stuff they will have a slightly different understanding of the toy than a kid who hasn't.
My son knows that knives cut though, as we have always told him not to touch sharp knives in the kitchen; so that kinda thing is natural... The guns less so.
I won't know which kid started the "kill, kill" thing and am unlikely to find out (and tbh isn't the point, other people will raise their kids how they see fit, even if I think its inappropriate language for a small child to use).
Its the play schools reaction to our initial complaint, that they hid stuff, blamed another kid who to all intents and purposes is more vulnerable than others and were allowing them to play with those toys and in that manner in the first place.
Thanks for the replies. I'm on my phone so no multi quoting as its a pain, but I'll respond to bits as best I can.
Firstly, with finding the truth; I consider we have. The play school lied and mislead us; and in the process placed the blame on the most vulnerable kid in the group. I find it impossible to believe they would be unable to connect what we were describing with the toys and hence play that they were allowing.
With where they got the war connections from; it takes one kid who is aware to spread it wholesale if that kind of play is facilitated tbh. If a kid has seen his parents play war games or watched war films, then hand them a toy gun, having seen that stuff they will have a slightly different understanding of the toy than a kid who hasn't.
My son knows that knives cut though, as we have always told him not to touch sharp knives in the kitchen; so that kinda thing is natural... The guns less so.
I won't know which kid started the "kill, kill" thing and am unlikely to find out (and tbh isn't the point, other people will raise their kids how they see fit, even if I think its inappropriate language for a small child to use).
Its the play schools reaction to our initial complaint, that they hid stuff, blamed another kid who to all intents and purposes is more vulnerable than others and were allowing them to play with those toys and in that manner in the first place.
Get used to schools lying and covering their own arses, it will happen throughout your child's education, maybe lots of moving schools to come
There isn't anything wrong with this. Boys love killing make believe zombies in the playground with their finger guns it doesn't harm anybody. I think you are overreacting.
With where they got the war connections from; it takes one kid who is aware to spread it wholesale if that kind of play is facilitated tbh.
Best keep him home then lest he comes into contact with any kids who do play with toy guns, can't have that type of fun being spread can we? Next thing you know there'll be a mini revolution, dozens of pint sized, Nerf-toting Che Guevaras down at the Playgroup.
Comments
Yep. Maybe you're just a less cynical person than me or you have a nicer mind. We'll just have to agree to disagree.
In my experience you would never 'imply' that a child could be responsible and certainly not if the nursery did not acknowledge that it had these certain toys to hand.
It is so easy to label a child at such a young age and for it to follow them to School, I've seen this happen. Parents talk to other parents and just one hint of 'Oh it could be Johnny's fault' can lead to some parents blaming that child for any incidents that occur. I'm glad that Fizix was able to find out the truth no matter what our opinions are regarding certain toys.
Did they find the truth though, okay the play school may have had the toys, still doesn't explain how the kids know about killing & cutting though, that is the truth that needs answering.
Of course they could have learned that from home, by seeing the news, or maybe cartoons, so the play school may have the toys, but I doubt it is teaching them killing, that will be from other sources.
Boys also tend to 'translate' and 'transcend' these through 'play' violence which also usually included adventure, excitement, and imagination. Thus children have played War, Pirates, Cowboys and Indians, I suppose it's other things now.
The most famous children's stories and films also have a dark and violent and uncomfortable feel on occasion. It's been thought that these too, help a child to come to terms with some of the difficulties of life in a safe way.
Preventing them feel horror at the Witch in Hansel and Gretel, or Bambi's mother getting shot, it is argued, thus won't help them at all.
I still fast forward or turn over when that bit is on.
It's not easy, that's for sure.
Yes they have found out the truth, the truth of the matter is that the nursery did not acknowledge that the behaviour was taking place there but yet had the 'tools' for it to be encouraged. I'm also surprised that this behaviour complained about was not noticed by the nursery staff who should be on a ratio of 1-8 children.
Of course they would not be teaching them about killing, well not normally, but I'd hate to think that they were turning a blind eye to it as seems to be the case here. If we were experiencing that, which we would notice on a far lesser staffing ratio, then we would be approaching parents to discover why.
We're not daft, we know children are exposed to news items and films that show fighting, I mentioned Star Wars earlier in the thread. You would know what was appropriate and what was not but to not be honest with parents is disgraceful!
Exactly, we would be noting how they played it out.
Firstly, with finding the truth; I consider we have. The play school lied and mislead us; and in the process placed the blame on the most vulnerable kid in the group. I find it impossible to believe they would be unable to connect what we were describing with the toys and hence play that they were allowing.
With where they got the war connections from; it takes one kid who is aware to spread it wholesale if that kind of play is facilitated tbh. If a kid has seen his parents play war games or watched war films, then hand them a toy gun, having seen that stuff they will have a slightly different understanding of the toy than a kid who hasn't.
My son knows that knives cut though, as we have always told him not to touch sharp knives in the kitchen; so that kinda thing is natural... The guns less so.
I won't know which kid started the "kill, kill" thing and am unlikely to find out (and tbh isn't the point, other people will raise their kids how they see fit, even if I think its inappropriate language for a small child to use).
Its the play schools reaction to our initial complaint, that they hid stuff, blamed another kid who to all intents and purposes is more vulnerable than others and were allowing them to play with those toys and in that manner in the first place.
Get used to schools lying and covering their own arses, it will happen throughout your child's education, maybe lots of moving schools to come
Best keep him home then lest he comes into contact with any kids who do play with toy guns, can't have that type of fun being spread can we? Next thing you know there'll be a mini revolution, dozens of pint sized, Nerf-toting Che Guevaras down at the Playgroup.