Really hacked off with my mum, again
Shadowmaiden
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Ive probably talked about my issues with my mum on here before, well we had been getting on much better lately. But now she's gone and narked me off again.
Me and her were supposed to be going out for a meal on Saturday to our favourite eating place. I was looking forward to it and then just now she has gone and told me 'Oh by the way were not going to ******'s on Saturday we are going for a meal at *****'s house'.
So naturally im a bit taken a back because I'd been looking forward to it, so I asked since when this had all been arranged and she 'since I phoned her and asked her to come with us, she said she'd rather cook a meal for the usual crowd, you and your dad are invited too'.
Now some of you may remember a thread I started in General Discussion a few weeks ago about tight people who don't like spending monet showing you up in restaurants, well this friend is that very woman who showed us up last time, and mum still wanted to invite her! She'd been just as embarrased as I had at the time!
Im also pissed off because this was meant to be a meal out for us, mother daughter bonding if you like, and she has gone behind my back and arranged something different. She didn't even ask me if it was ok first!
The 'usual crowd' means my mum and dad's friends who are incrediably cliquey, they do everything togther as a gang and they are quite hostile and unwelcoming to people not in their clique. They are bloody rude actually. I don't like most of them because of this as I despise cliquiness. I think ive only been invited because my mum had asked her to come with us in the first place. I'll be sat there with no one to talk to I know:rolleyes:
When I said to my mum that I'd rather have gone to restaurant she jumped down my throat and said we're going there and thats it and called me anti social. What I am really angry about is that she didn't even run it by me first, she knew I'd say no and thats why she didn't. I feel like she'd rather spend time with her gang than me.
Am I being silly and over sensitive? I have been a bit down in the dumps lately, but I am really ****ed off over this!
Me and her were supposed to be going out for a meal on Saturday to our favourite eating place. I was looking forward to it and then just now she has gone and told me 'Oh by the way were not going to ******'s on Saturday we are going for a meal at *****'s house'.
So naturally im a bit taken a back because I'd been looking forward to it, so I asked since when this had all been arranged and she 'since I phoned her and asked her to come with us, she said she'd rather cook a meal for the usual crowd, you and your dad are invited too'.
Now some of you may remember a thread I started in General Discussion a few weeks ago about tight people who don't like spending monet showing you up in restaurants, well this friend is that very woman who showed us up last time, and mum still wanted to invite her! She'd been just as embarrased as I had at the time!
Im also pissed off because this was meant to be a meal out for us, mother daughter bonding if you like, and she has gone behind my back and arranged something different. She didn't even ask me if it was ok first!
The 'usual crowd' means my mum and dad's friends who are incrediably cliquey, they do everything togther as a gang and they are quite hostile and unwelcoming to people not in their clique. They are bloody rude actually. I don't like most of them because of this as I despise cliquiness. I think ive only been invited because my mum had asked her to come with us in the first place. I'll be sat there with no one to talk to I know:rolleyes:
When I said to my mum that I'd rather have gone to restaurant she jumped down my throat and said we're going there and thats it and called me anti social. What I am really angry about is that she didn't even run it by me first, she knew I'd say no and thats why she didn't. I feel like she'd rather spend time with her gang than me.
Am I being silly and over sensitive? I have been a bit down in the dumps lately, but I am really ****ed off over this!
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Comments
Why is that always the response from some on this forum when people have grips with their families?I'll go and live in a cardboard box shall I?:rolleyes:
Come back when you have something construtive to add please.
she is going to pay for your food
she pay for ur rent
now buck up
let her do what she want
Excuse me? What the hell are you on about? How do you know I don't pay rent? I do as it happens.
i.e. you wanted some mother/daughter bonding time.
This isn't unreasonable and she's unlikely to flip out about this.
Just sounds like a communication breakdown to me, really.
And remember no one's family is perfect!
Has it ever occurred to you, you may be the problem and not your mum?
Thank you for giving me a proper reply jamcake.
I know no families are perfect, but I would have really liked it if she'd discussed it with me first before making plans. I was looking forward to it and I feel hurt really that she'd rather spend time with friends than with me:(
She probably doesn't see it like that and it wasn't her intention! Just tell her that you wanted to spend some time with her I'm sure she'll understand why you're peeved then.
I kind of feel rude not to go now they've asked me. Plus my mum will probably moan at me if I turn around and say I don't want to go.
I did take the advice on board actually. I put a lock on my door to stop her barging in, I help a lot more around the house. I do all the ironing now, rather than just my own, because she's got a bad arthritic shoulder. If I am going out somewhere I ask if she wants me to get her anything.
I'm sure she'll be fine.
Just go, eat the food, drink the wine and be polite and go home . Shows your mum a) You're willing to make her happy b) You're not out to piss her off.
I think if I were in a similar situation I would have been a bit hurt too.
Shadowmiaden - I'm sorry to hear your Mum has let you down, have you / could you have a chat with her about how you were looking forward to just the two of you going out?
Thank you mumbles.
I will have a chat to her, but I think its best left till tommorrow when Ive calmed down.
good luck
That is really unfair!
Shadowmaiden - I hope you're ok. You sound just like me. I have a relationship like this with my Mum.
I hate to say it hun but I think you just have to rise above it and let it go. It's not worth the argument and you'll feel better for it. I know it's hard because you're feeling hurt and a bit miffed but if your relationship is the same as mine and my Mums, you're going to need to put up a bit of a hard shell.
Thanks. Im really shocked with the level of vitriol aimed at me from some. I don't expect everyone to agree with me, but im pretty shocked at some of the abuse ive received. Its not like Ive said anything especially nasty about my mum
take no notice, you don't deserve any nasty comments.
Thaks:)
I would not want to spend my Saturday night with my Mother´s cronies and sitting in on my own would be preferable or go and meet your mates. Tell her you only wanted quality time with her so if she doesn´t mind you would rather not spend your night with a bunch of oldies, say in humour though. But do arrange next Saturday afternoon having fun.
My Mum and Dad came out here over Xmas one year and we deliberately didn´t have any food in as we though the parents would take us out for lunch or dinner somewhere. They had 2 other couples that happend to be here at the same time as well so a night out with the cronies but a free slap up meal to boot. How wrong was I....the night before (Xmas Eve, all shops shut) she informed us that her and the gang were all going to a lovely restaurant for Xmas day dinner and we were not invited and it was all booked up now!! Humph! :mad: